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RE: Confused on asking for punishment - 8/4/2008 11:59:08 AM

girlygurl

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I don't understand. Are you wanting to be beat or the like for pleasure? Why do you think you need to do something wrong? Can't you ask this person to give you " punishment" or whatever it is that you're desiring? Speaking for myself I avoid doing something that warrants punishment. If I want a spanking I can easily ask for it... I'm sure Sir would paddle my butt.

girly

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RE: Confused on asking for punishment - 8/4/2008 4:54:11 PM

panthersub

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Joined: 5/20/2008
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Most of you are right, my mentor will give me a hard spanking should i ask for it. And earlier today i did ask for one, he granted it to me, but like in my also earlier post in response to the other replies, in my subconsconscious i did do something wrong, but found out later that it was a stress due to last week. We talked about it for a little bit and will talk come this thursday before he paddles me.

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RE: Confused on asking for punishment - 8/5/2008 6:46:10 PM

porceline

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i don't know how logical this is in terms of language and interpretation, but in a case like this, i would make a distinction between punishment and discipline. they could both mean the same physical actions, but the intentions and emotions are different. a punishment would punish bad behavior, and discipline would be more to maintain good behavior. it has made sense in my limited experience.. still i would never ask for either, since thats kind of trying to control things and, to me at least, controlling something like that would take all the meaning out of it.
i would kind of hope i would always choose someone who i could be close enough to that they could anticipate or decide when something like that is necessary. and if i ever was unlucky enough to feel the need to request it myself, i'd hope it would be thorough enough that i wouldn't need to ask again..

< Message edited by porceline -- 8/5/2008 6:49:19 PM >

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RE: Confused on asking for punishment - 8/6/2008 5:59:01 PM

ProtagonistLily

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Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

i'm not exactly having a hard time with this, but my mentor is coming this Thursday, and i'm going to ask that he punish me. Why, i have no clue. i don't know what i did to be punished, and he never brought the subject up, so i'm confused on why i'm needing to ask for it. It's one of those where you know you didn't do anything wrong, but subconsciously you did. i've been thinking over the past week of what i could have done to be in the wrong, but can not find anything and it's frustrating [:****]. Any suggestions/advice on what i should do?

I think you need some serious introspection. This is not a place you want to 'wing' it in my opinion. You should be fairly clear on a number of things, including but not limited to:
   *what your BDSM orientation is (among them being bottom/Top, sub/Dom, slave/Master, Switch... there are of course sub classes)
   *what you are really looking for- some people want a 24/7 power exchange, and some people are just happy to make public or private play dates.
   *are you interested in getting active in your local scene? Do you want to be part of your local organization(s)? Are you interested in having educational opportunites? Are you interested in having a place that throws parties?
   *Besides the 'kinks' list, have you thought about what situations you desire and which situations you would not/could not be involved in, under any circumstances? While bloodplay might be a hard limit, have you thought about Poly situations vs. mono situations and the like? I think these questions are as important as the 'kinks list'

These are just some of the questions I would encourage you to ponder if you haven't already. Your struggle with the punishment question makes me wonder if you'd really done any serious introspection, which again, I encourage folks to do.

PL

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RE: Confused on asking for punishment - 8/6/2008 7:04:19 PM

sunshinemiss

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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To the op:
greetings, and good luck.

I wonder... do you feel guilty about liking what you like?

just a curiosity, not a judgment or opinion...

peace and passion,
sunshine

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