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RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/4/2008 5:46:24 PM   
CookieSlave


Posts: 74
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I find rubbing my face pathetically in His crotch while offering up baked goods usually gets the message across.




Hmm!!


(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/4/2008 6:05:18 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I asked.  Nicely.  Whilst adding that it was conditional on all other family members not objecting.

So far, this approach is getting me where I want to be.

(in reply to CookieSlave)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/5/2008 1:47:29 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: saraUK

I'm sorry, my mistake.....I thought those of you also into the lifestyle would be the best ones to aproach to ask a genuine question.  I apologise for getting it wrong!

I may not have made many posts here, but I do have several years experience in the lifestyle.  As yet, I have never made the first move to offer my submission as I have never before found 'the one'.  I'd rather wait several years than rush from one to the next making several mistakes.  That's just me.

Feel free to crusify the rest of the thread.....I shan't be checking back on it.

My thanks to those who DID take the trouble to respond in a decent manner - very much appreciated.

sara


We all know that you will come back to read this which is why I am going to respond.  After reading your profile, I would have to suggest that you come with much more 'baggage' than some people.  Some dominants may not want to have a full time relationship with a married woman.  You cannot give the same level of commitment that an unmarried one can and many people are looking for full time relationships.  Is this man single?  If he is, then taking you on is a huge thing for him... he may not be able to give you that and even want more than you can give him.  Casual play and short term relationships are not the same as taking on and collaring someone long term.  Your post give no indication what you want, your profile is a little clearer.  But with both of these, I would say it would take a really commited person to take you and essentially your husband on.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to saraUK)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/5/2008 1:55:37 AM   
SirWAX


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I find rubbing my face pathetically in His crotch while offering up baked goods usually gets the message across.




This would certainly make me think very long and hard about it.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/5/2008 3:44:16 AM   
quickened


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Woman,

You have no idea what you found, certainly not "the one"! He is someone who interests you but until you have spent time with him you don't even know if you two have chemistry let alone if he makes you feel like you want and need.

That said, "hey, I think you are an amazing man and an inspiring dominant and I want to serve you" would seem to get the point across rather clearly.

I fully agree with SimplyMichael.  Communicate clearly and openly.  Words are great.  If the object of your submissive desires isn't interested, then you'll have to deal with disappointment and you'll live.  Good luck!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/5/2008 3:59:44 AM   
OnlyHisLovebug


Posts: 56
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		Hi Sara...

I read your profile, and I have to admit that I'm a bit confused.  You say you are interested in a TPE- except for the fact that you are married.  Oh yeah, and have a play partner that you have dictated you will be keeping; and should be of no concern to anyone else.  While I'm not saying a TPE can't exist under such circumstances, I would suggest that it might present some fairly large obstacles.

The thing about finding "The One" is, he has to feel it, too.  Infatuation is clearly understandable when you meet someone you respect, someone that tantalizes and teaches you, someone that expands your horizons.  However, for Him to be "The One"- he has to "want" you; and yet, you have already stated that you don't know if he does.

If he IS "The One", it's going to take a lot of work, effort and communication all around- as it's not an easy situation you are in.  So, I suggest you start by communicating with Him NOW.  Be mature, tell him how you feel, and why you feel as you do- and then graciously leave the ball in his court.  If he wants you, he will let you know.  If not, then you are being unfair to him in trying to pressure him into a relationship built on your infatuation and expectations.  A relationship is about all of the people involved; and you can't MAKE him "The One" just because you desperately want him to be.      

_____________________________

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I. ~Michel de Montaigne

(in reply to saraUK)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/5/2008 6:00:19 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: saraUK

I'm sorry, my mistake.....I thought those of you also into the lifestyle would be the best ones to aproach to ask a genuine question.  I apologise for getting it wrong!

I may not have made many posts here, but I do have several years experience in the lifestyle.  As yet, I have never made the first move to offer my submission as I have never before found 'the one'.  I'd rather wait several years than rush from one to the next making several mistakes.  That's just me.

Feel free to crusify the rest of the thread.....I shan't be checking back on it.

My thanks to those who DID take the trouble to respond in a decent manner - very much appreciated.

sara


We all know that you will come back to read this which is why I am going to respond.  After reading your profile, I would have to suggest that you come with much more 'baggage' than some people.  Some dominants may not want to have a full time relationship with a married woman.  You cannot give the same level of commitment that an unmarried one can and many people are looking for full time relationships.  Is this man single?  If he is, then taking you on is a huge thing for him... he may not be able to give you that and even want more than you can give him.  Casual play and short term relationships are not the same as taking on and collaring someone long term.  Your post give no indication what you want, your profile is a little clearer.  But with both of these, I would say it would take a really commited person to take you and essentially your husband on.
 
the.dark.

 
I have to admit that I didn't read the profile, now I'm wondering if the husband was "the one" when she took those sacred vows.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/5/2008 6:14:47 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		kneeling and begging works for me

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to saraUK)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/5/2008 6:35:31 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I've always found that if both people have the feeling that it's right then it just progresses comfortably. 

that's how it worked with Daddy and me

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/5/2008 8:25:19 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I say just tell him straight out.  Not when you are in tears but when you are calm and rational.  That is what i did with Master it worked for us.  I have always been a direct person.  When i was sure of how i felt i sid to him Master i would likr ro be yours, your collared submissive.  IT was thr right approach obviously since i am his collared girl now.  Talking usually works.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/6/2008 9:23:42 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		softness why don't you try that with me. fyreredsub you have learned well.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/6/2008 1:13:17 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

softness why don't you try that with me.


want me to answer that ... or be polite?

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/6/2008 3:36:19 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: saraUK

When you have been around the site for a while, and know you have found 'the one' that you truly know you want to submit to.  How do you go about doing it?  I realise the answers to this are very personal, but if anyone feels that they can share their situation with me I would be eternally grateful.  I know I have found 'the one', but am not sure if he wants me.  He does know of my feelings, through a rather botched and tearful admission from me last week.  He said he felt confused.  I don't want to force him into saying yes if he really wants to say no, but on the same hand I don't know how I will handle the rejection if he does say no.

Despite being in the scene for many years, and having played with many others, I have never actually submitted to a Dom properly before.  How do I let him know I am offering him my submission?  How do I react if he doesn't want it?  Anyone got any hints or tips?  Thank you all.

sara
x



hm...I feel that you submit when you feel he's worthy of your submission and he accepts when he feels you are worthy to be his.  How you go about it...i feel completely depends on your personality and how you approach such issues.
I would put it out there (to him) yet know that he may not feel teh same way in return and there is no harm in that (although it may be dissapointing) but it certainly cant be the end of the world and its just part of life.  You just never know exactly how someone else is going to react to something, but you are better off knowing and being prepared to deal with their reaction one way or the other.

(in reply to saraUK)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/6/2008 3:43:43 PM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline 		Well from the OP it sounds like you've already told Him, and that He is already aware of your feelings..
Its quite simple as i see it, if He wants you, He will take you.. If He really is a Dominant there's no question of forcing the issue either way on your part.. So i wouldn't worry about that. As for rejection, if it's a no then take it on the chin and move on.. Compatibility is a rare and precious thing.. If He doesn't feel the chemistry and isn't drawn to take up your submission then thats nobodies fault & there's no need to really be sad about it.. Its just life.




_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to saraUK)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/6/2008 11:25:46 PM   
CapnHarlock


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline 		"hey, wanna??"  has always gotten my attention.....

(in reply to metalmiss)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/7/2008 5:58:18 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think that most men like to be pursued. The women come across as whiney and pushy. I think it would be better if you droped a strong hint and let him come after you. If he decides not to then deal with it and move on.

(in reply to CapnHarlock)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/7/2008 9:36:54 AM   
roland23


Posts: 241
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		For me, if she puts her hands behind her back, that's a sure and glorious signal! 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/7/2008 10:12:05 PM   
HalfShyHalfWild


Posts: 150
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I find rubbing my face pathetically in His crotch while offering up baked goods usually gets the message across.




You can just call me softness's number 1 fan from here on at! LMFAO!

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/7/2008 11:34:03 PM   
darkangelslave


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		hi i was always submissive in the bedroom then i met my Master we didnt plan to be Master and slave just to meet up for casual sex no strings attached,but the first time i looked in his eyes i knew i had found my purpose in life i beleive i was put on this earth to serve my Master we just knew from day one we were Master and slave,i spent over a year serving my Master before i fully submitted my soul to his care,and have been loyaly serving my Master for two years now,it's a wonderfull feeling to know you are giving someone all that you are to be able to share your deepest darkest secrets fantasys and thought,and never be afriad to be judged or missunderstood,fully submitting to my Master was the best thing that happend to me it is for me the only time in life i will ever be owned by a Master for if ever my Dark Angel chose to release me i would never serve anyone else i see my self as his Eternal Slave from this day to the day i die.fully submitting to me is something i will only ever do once in life.! what im saying is if you know in h your heart you want to submit then i say give it all you got and cherish every Moment you are honoured to serve him.x

{hands tied}{no resistance}{head bowed}{total submission}

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How do you tell a Dom you want to submit to them? - 8/7/2008 11:50:30 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello sarah,
Your profile is confusing.  You are curious about TPE but you are married and looking for someone to "play with".  Also, you tell prospective Doms that  it should not cause any problems that another fellow spanks your backside monthly... How does that work?  You get to tell your Dom how he feels?  And then you give a whole list of salutations... ummm how about if HE wants you to greet him differently?  ON 7/13 you had a dom... is that a different man than the "one" you are talking about now?

I think your confusion shines through.  You don't want to push a dom, and yet you are.  You dumped on him how you feel.  That could be sub frenzy.

Have you even met the guy that you said all this to?  It doesn't seem like it from your posts. 

Good luck in your search...
sunshine



_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 40
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