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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/5/2008 8:44:19 PM

gypsygrl

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quote:

How much of your life is personally dramatic?

It depends on what perspective you take. I get excited watching the laundry go 'round in the front loaders at the laundrymat. I have a d-friend who made me aware of what he calls, 'the drama of the sky' Now, when I see a cool cloud formation, I think of him, and have the urge to tell him about it. In that sense, my life is very dramatic, but I imagine many would be bored by it. 'Cause I spend alot of time staring at the sky and not doing much of anything.

How much of your life is spent watching it unfold on tele, or in a virtual reality or even (here goes) spent getting off on porn?

I don't have a tv and its been ages since I looked at porn. I do like following these forums.

Are there real manners, real protocols out there in existence that distinguishes between drama and life?

I think so. I try to avoid making things more dramatic than they need to be. If something dramatic is happening, fine, acknowledge that. But, if its just run of the mill b.s. there's no point in making more of it that it is.
In any case, if I have to involve other people in my problems, I try to limit the numbers. I know there's some things I can't manage on my own, and I've gotten into alot of trouble spots by trying to. (I was separated from my husband for 2 years before I told my family. That was dumb.) But, not everything needs to be a 'federal issue' as my dad used to say.

The other 'rule' I have is to choose my words carefully while being aware of the impact. Sometimes, the potential for unnecessary drama can be reduced by eliminating exaggerated rhetoric. Other times, there's not much one can do but let things blow the fuck up. Its like a correction in the stock market: painful, but necessary.

What's the price of the ticket?

Dunno. But, I hope its not too expensive.

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/5/2008 9:03:17 PM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

No, I just can't stand idiots who repeat the same pattern over and over and over and who always blame someone else and just can't manage to look in the mirror of self reflection and see their own role in that drama because actually becoming healthy is just to damn much work for them.

But can't you see that that is:
1. A projection of your own standards of 'health onto others
2. A judgement as to how much work a person is or is not doing.
So be it.

No shit Sherlock! One of the ways one avoids melodrama is to avoid those who thrive on it. I used to thrive on it, I used to enmesh myself in others for a variety of co-dependent reasons. I am far from perfect but I am at the same time vastly better than I used to be. Just like I dislike hanging around people who shoot up heroin to feed their addiction, I avoid hanging around people who are addicted to melodrama.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 8/5/2008 9:06:54 PM >

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/5/2008 9:05:06 PM

Leatherist

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I'm very dramatic!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABWyXKT5qt4

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/5/2008 9:31:08 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
for the first time in my life I see that little ole me needs just a touch of it in my life in order to feel things are on a steady keel. However, I think that is because of the distance between us and the lack of daily contact. Nothing like waking up next to someone to let you know everything is going well.

I used to think that if a relationship did not have emotional highs and lows on a consistent basis then it wasn't a "good" one. It was really hard to break that pattern and get rid of the belief. I did most of the work while we were long distance and I started getting really good at stopping that cycle.

It wasn't until I moved in that I no longer had to worry about dealing with the cycle. It has been several months since I felt the push for intense emotions.

I don't think moving in solved the issue, I think that doing all the work before moving in helped everything fall into place when I got here. You can get past it, if you want to and it is doable even from a distance and it might make things even sweeter when the distance is no longer an issue.

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 7:50:45 AM

oceanwynds

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In anyone's life there will be those times when life seems to be pure drama, but it is how we handle it. Do we become needy and whining, or do we try to cope with the situations in a positive way. i would not like thinking of myself as an energy vampire to Sir or anyone for that matter. It is easy to slip into drama and get caught in it. Sometimes, i believe many people become addicted to it. It is easy for me to slip into it, but i will not. Sir has helped me to stop with the drama. It was something i sought to stop, and he was happy to oblige. My life has not been easy, many lifes have not, but what matters is now the present. Somethings we can't do anything about, and these are the times that help me grow in my submissiveness. These are the times where i have to repeatly let go of controlling.
blessings,
oceanwynds

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 8:18:45 AM

TysGalilah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

In anyone's life there will be those times when life seems to be pure drama, but it is how we handle it. Do we become needy and whining, or do we try to cope with the situations in a positive way. i would not like thinking of myself as an energy vampire to Sir or anyone for that matter. It is easy to slip into drama and get caught in it. Sometimes, i believe many people become addicted to it. It is easy for me to slip into it, but i will not. Sir has helped me to stop with the drama. It was something i sought to stop, and he was happy to oblige. My life has not been easy, many lifes have not, but what matters is now the present. Somethings we can't do anything about, and these are the times that help me grow in my submissiveness. These are the times where i have to repeatly let go of controlling.
blessings,
oceanwynds

nicely said

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 12:51:24 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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My post was a good example of how someone you have known for almost half your life can unintentionally push your buttons. DLS, I jumped down your throat about your post.. I realize after our talk that I completely misinterpreted what you were trying to say and the spirit in which you meant it.. I'm sorry..

Friends?

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 1:30:43 PM

indigo302

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Drama, drama queen, dirty laundry.....

We all have drama in our lives at some point. It happens, it is a part of being alive and in communication with others.

It is when we thrive on the drama and have to showcase it before the general public that we become "drama queens".

And it is when we lay out all the nasty details that we begin airing our dirty laundry.

While drama in our lives can't always be helped, becoming a 'drama queen' is a choice. Airing one's dirty laundry is a choice. I find that most times, one chooses 'queen' status and/ or airs their dirty laundry because it helps to draw the inner focus outward and we don't have to look at our own shortcomings.

But as always, this is only my opinion.

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 1:47:36 PM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

I find that most times, one chooses 'queen' status and/ or airs their dirty laundry because it helps to draw the inner focus outward and we don't have to look at our own shortcomings.

Well said

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 3:13:20 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

I find that most times, one chooses 'queen' status and/ or airs their dirty laundry because it helps to draw the inner focus outward and we don't have to look at our own shortcomings.

Well said

oh i see you have dropped the y and becme simply SimpleMichael

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 3:14:58 PM

CalifChick

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ouch.

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 3:34:10 PM

Sabella

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My perspective on it is life situations can either be entertainment or drama. Repeated performances on set stages, whether they were setup or unintentional. I agree 1000% that most often it goes back to the saying of YOU or I are the only constant in all our relationships. So if a certain type of drama keeps popping up, what's the key there?

Drama, or entertainment, needs feeding to live. Without it it dies.

Drama from others is no different, how you deal with them is up to you. This makes it frustrating or interesting depending on the person and what keeps popping up because you can't change other people, only yourself.

I've found that even being a neutral listener often isn't enough to deflect sincere drama queens/kings, LOL. Because even that is attention, and attention is what they are craving whether you are agreeing, disagreeing or just listening.

A well placed "so what are you going to do about it?" often throws them into confusion and their wave is crashed (at least momentarily) while they hopefully think about it. But in general refusing to participate in any fashion keeps me out of any drama I don't care to play with.

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 3:54:26 PM

ExSteelAgain

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I think I saw lots of drama being acted out on this very thread. I wonder what the meaning behind it was....as with all drama?

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 4:39:28 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
How much of your life is personally dramatic?

None if I can help it (and I most assuredly can most times). I hate unnecessary drama. People who stir it up and need it to feel alive are just not people I want to share close relationships with. My ex-husband and some ex-friends have learned this the hard way. Life is short enough and hard enough without creating extra drama to wallow in. It's a hard limit for Master and myself. We don't create it and won't have the chaos it brings with it in our world.............luci

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 5:16:25 PM

Prinsexx

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There are some interesting 'neutral' definitons of drama which taken fron an on-line ditionary are:
1.a composition in prose or verse presenting in dialogue or pantomime a story involving conflict or contrast of character, esp. one intended to be acted on the stage; a play.
2.the branch of literature having such compositions as its subject; dramatic art or representation.
3.the art dealing with the writing and production of plays.
4.any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results: the drama of a murder trial.
5.the quality of being dramatic.
I think much of what has been spoken of in the responses thus far pertain to number 4 as above.
But that really was not the point I was attempting solely to raise.
One of the issues I had thought would make an interesting discussion, (rather than so many focussing on 'self' or rather making it about my self rather than about themselves) is the issues of well you know, what's actually outside of the self that is what's true and what's false?
A big philosophical question I know but I was considering how there's a cross over happening where we are, many of us, presented with real important issues going on in the world, we are presented with them daily, mediated constantly and of a repetitive nature so that we become immune to them. News of starvation, news of earthquake, news of disasters...repeated rather like a kid in a family who constantky cries so that we learn to tune it out.
A cross over whereby our own drama (and by default therefore our own lack of drama) becomes only that which we aspire to rather tha seeing beyond ourselves, or our self, in order to transcend the self and get stuck out there and do something bigger to balance the inequities of the world.
Perhaos this is not the place to raise it but from where I 'experienced' it 9/11 had such impact psychologically because it was the first time that reality of destruction had truck home. Whereas in both time and space here in the UK war and its insidious destruction is not has never has been far away.
I live in a small terrace house for example which was built for soldiers returning from the trenches.
The point I was raising was that the inequities of life....one third of the world has no running water??...just becomes another mediated, dramatised event whilst our own personal issues (shall I shan't i go to a munch and if I do what shall i wear) become paramount.
We are all of us here surely, even if we try to exempt ourselves from being drama kings or queens, we all of all, each of us live in an emotional luxury?
But then great drama, those discourses, those solilioquies, those plays that stand the test of time, convey a message a meaning, explain and encapsulate the importance of solving the World's inequities rather than our own.
My personal emotional pain, drama, call it what you will, bears no resemblance, because at its core it is consensual, to the pain and hunger of a dying child, or the terror of someone with a terrorist gun at their head.
Ouch indeed. And ouch backatcha. But who needs to go far, when expecting support they experience animosity even here?

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 8/6/2008 5:17:17 PM >

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 5:26:43 PM

LaTigresse

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My father is an alchoholic. If he called me whining about a hangover (even though I doubt it's possible), that his wife finally got fed up and left him, or a drunk driving arrest, I would say something like "Jesus Christ you stupid fucker what the hell do you expect!?!? You drink too much! Duhhhhh!!!!"

But I certainly would not support him. I also don't spend much time with him.

Does not mean that I don't love him, or that I don't care. It means that he continually makes a stupid choice to live his life in a destructive way and I do NOT have to be supportive of it. I don't want the negative energy of that type of drama in my life.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/6/2008 5:30:34 PM >

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 6:29:45 PM

gypsygrl

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quote:

My personal emotional pain, drama, call it what you will, bears no resemblance, because at its core it is consensual, to the pain and hunger of a dying child, or the terror of someone with a terrorist gun at their head.

This is the sort of thought that helps me get things into perspective. I suspect its the sort of thought that allows you to continue marching bravely on, making the same mistake over and over again as some here on cm would have it. In some ways, its a healing thought and when I get myself into that frame of mind, I can let go of my hurt, and feel grateful for the experience. Its part of the life I chose, whether I asked for it or not.

I dunno.

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/6/2008 8:19:40 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

quote:

My personal emotional pain, drama, call it what you will, bears no resemblance, because at its core it is consensual, to the pain and hunger of a dying child, or the terror of someone with a terrorist gun at their head.

This is the sort of thought that helps me get things into perspective. I suspect its the sort of thought that allows you to continue marching bravely on, making the same mistake over and over again as some here on cm would have it. In some ways, its a healing thought and when I get myself into that frame of mind, I can let go of my hurt, and feel grateful for the experience. Its part of the life I chose, whether I asked for it or not.

I dunno.

I consider 'I dunno' to be a relatively better space tha knowing everything.
Or rather I consider having the capacity to know more , more creative than thinking one has all the answers.
I consider thinking one has all to answers to being arrogant.
Questions aren't necessarily asked for the answering thereof. They are asked because we can ask, whether or not we know the answers.
I like open questions....and answers which are pathways rather than self-opinionated cul-de-sacs......
questions which, when given due attention make the impetus behind the question itself seem purile.
hence the question....why are collars..? ... I mean who really gives a fuck? on the scale if things. Pink pretty velcro decorations, or neck stretching black leather, or a dog chain which chokes when pulled or better still the conceptual collar.
or better even still the imagined collar? now THAT one offers real hope...to many. It like deferred gratification. It's like the Protestant Work Ethic meets bdsm.........?.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 8/6/2008 8:23:29 PM >

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/7/2008 12:32:46 AM

ExSteelAgain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

I like open questions....and answers which are pathways rather than self-opinionated cul-de-sacs......
questions which, when given due attention make the impetus behind the question itself seem purile.
hence the question....why are collars..? ... I mean who really gives a fuck?

Good point and that's 90% of what the message board is about. Making fun of puerile questions and comments.

< Message edited by ExSteelAgain -- 8/7/2008 12:35:58 AM >

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RE: Life is drama and drama is life? - 8/7/2008 1:47:59 AM

AllietheKitten

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I believe strongly that I am the star of my own life. And of everyone else's life too (an ego is a healthy thing)...and I have the Narrator in my head to prove it!

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