LadyDarkDragon
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I came back to read what my tony bloged... and though I feel as if beating ones head against a brick wall is pointless....here once again I will try to clarify what I said... {and yes, I am using the edited version that it seems few read}
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Well I am about to piss off a lot of people out there. But you know what, too damn bad... If I touch a nerve, then good, then maybe you need to look at yourself and ask why your pissed off… If I hit too close to home, then maybe you need to seek help, talk to people. Find out why your feeling threatened, or pissed that I dare condemn an abusive person in this life walk... I dare, because being a dominant means I have responsibilities not only to my slaves, but to the life walk itself and those around me. I feel that it is high time what is right should be done, so I am opening my mouth on what I see is a great injustice to something wonderful. Something that should be open and enjoyable is being tainted by so called dominants who use this life walk as an excuse to prey on those weaker to feed their abusive natures…
I cant believe that I am having to say this, but use common sense .. no it doest mean rushing in and accusing abuse in every given situation...notice the last part that says..... prey on those weaker to feed their abusive natures...so no I was not lumping every extreme play family into that as I have been accused of time and again here....
It was stated in an answer to tony, that we need to educate the general public on what the life walk really is.. And we do, I and the boys live as openly as we can in the area we live in, but at the same time, when a predator uses this venue to feed in, that’s what gets on the news more times than not... so they are in turn making negative any good information we share...
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I am tired of biting my tongue and going with the old adage of '...if that’s your thing its ok, who am I to tell you its wrong...' or, as I was just told, 'you need to get over it… you cant heal the world'…
Well, that way of thinking has allowed so much bullshit to enter into this life walk, that many of us actually do live, that it isn’t funny... its allowed free rein for abuse and even at times death to enter into what should be a full filling and rewarding relationship between a dominant and slave…
When it happens in our own circle of those we know, and there is a known predator in our circle, and it is known for a fact, not guess work, that a slave is being abused, how many turn away anyway for fear of stepping on someone’s toes, or turn away out of fear that they might have to get involved and just don’t want to deal with it... happens all the time...
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My rant is mostly aimed at the so called femdommes
Where does that say Masters? though yes, there are those male predators out there as well, who prey on fem slaves .. in fact there was a serial killer who used bdsm as a feeding ground just a few years ago, and killed women with the guise of being a so called Master... [source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Edward_Robinson_%28serial_killer%29
they didn’t get the chance to walk away from a bad situation....
And the same goes for below, how many men stay silent about the abuse and atrocities that happen to them.. one reply stated the statistics.. granted it doesn’t happen as much as it does to women, yet it does happen.. and a part of it happens in our life walk..
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My rant is mostly aimed at the so called femdommes who think that males are here only to be beaten busted and back handed, that they are something to be stomped and thought of as nothing more than pieces of crap to be scraped off the shoe… It is thinking like that, that perpetuates the abuse so many come from in their child hood… males as well as females... Those who come from that kind of background need support, understanding, strength, in coming to accept their submissiveness not continuance of abuse…As dominants, it is our responsibility to give their submissiveness pride, hold them up, strengthen them, guide them into self worth, not self-debasing abuse…
It has been stated in the responses, that we must educate and talk and give links to and a whole list of other helpful aids to someone who has this kind of past... hummm seems that’s what I am saying there, treat those with compassion, and try to help them get self worth...
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There was a time, a female dominant who had a male slave was said to have a male companion who was her butler/companion/driver/presidio ladies maid... in public... Now, behind closed doors though he was her slave… in all aspects… and she was called a strong formidable woman...and the D/s female dominant relationship was carried out quietly, and not spoke of for fear of being labeled immoral...
speak to a female dominant who has been in this life walk from that era, and see if I am wrong on this description, my mentor was a 75 year old poly dominant from back east, and she spoke of how it was...and yes, we chuckled together a lot of times over her recounting the play times with her companion/slaves over the years.. both of who were still in the home when she passed.. when Miss Iris passed the life walk lost a great lady.. and though its been twelve years, I still miss her guidance and compassion..
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She wasn't the Gestapo bitch from hell with shoes that you could pick up a ton of trash with on the heel… {and I am speaking of the porn ideal of what a dominant is supposed to look like… I to have wore the heels… and those damn things hurt to walk in by the way, but they are not what makes a dominant…} ...she was a lady ... a real lady, strong, held herself with pride… could stand on her own, and quite often did... choosing to have a male by her side, not the other way around… the relationship was what is tagged now as TPE/APE… or 24/7... but over time, thanks to society, that kind of relationship has been tainted, and thrown into the trash heap... we became our own worst enemy by closing our mouths… hiding what was a wonderful symbiotic relationship between a woman and a man... we hid so well, that now society and the life style its self has a tainted view of what a real female dominant and male slave are...
Now its become something to be snickered at, wrong, dirty, and any male who was or is in that kind of relationship, is called hen pecked, or pussy whipped… when in reality, he was and is loved, cared for, cherished, the dominants aren’t the bitches that abuse and disfigure a man just cause he is male… they aren’t the heartless haters that are portrayed on the porn movies or in books… they are strong and caring, and compassionate, it is their responsibility to build not destroy…
And that venue is also where the submissives miss-conception has followed societies as well, they think that being a slave means that they have to take that abuse, that they are worthless as males, that they are none human, to be abused and degraded… when that is so so far from the truth....
it was stated in two or three replies that what is portrayed in the movies does go on, .......... but .. what the movies don’t show are the gentle times after words, the after care, the compassion, the holding to bring the slave and the dominant back from the passion that the acts invoked... so a lot of new slaves get a tainted view of what will happen and those few who already have low self worth who think that any kind of attention is better than none walk right into the hands of predators unknowing that they don’t have full information...
I wont repost the definitions of a slave to help keep this from going way way over, but will quote this..
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Ok lets take the first definition…
1. One bound in servitude of a person or household... how are they bound? In this day and age, by desire on their part to serve… pure and simple…
To force someone to serve you is the old definition of slavery..*One bound in servitude as the property of a person or household.... that was abolished in this country and others over a hundred years ago…
Lets use common sense here people… Do you see anything in there that says to be abused, humiliated, debased, degraded, disfigured against their will? Hell no!
Yet so many males new to this life walk think that is exactly what is in store for them, and many because of their past, think this is normal, that that is what they deserve. And that ideal is perpetuated by society, femdomme sites on the net, the porn industry, and literature, and worst of all by some so called dominants as well... IT HAS GOT TO STOP!!!...
Now, I am not talking about those who make a conscious choice to indulge in fetishes, as long as that choice being made is an informed one....
NOTICE I SAID an INFORMED ONE!!!... Not something you feel you deserve because that’s what was drummed into your head from child hood on up, that as a man, your worthless, your lower than dog shit, and aren’t worthy of being treated as a human being… that is where the line has to be drawn...
here is where I have been accused of trying to push my ideals off on other people........ what Ideal.. common sense??... again, it falls back to having compassion and trying to help guide someone to places where they can get help...that’s the responsibilities I am speaking of.....and NO, I am not speaking out against object slavery, again, as long as it is a conscious choice that the slave makes to become an object slave, more power to him and Her and yea for a good relationship....am I advocating we should all become the conscious choice police, hell no, ............. what part of common sense is not being understood.. if you know... FOR A FACT ...that a slave is being abused, COMMON SENSE begs to be used....
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I have seen three types of submissives in my life walk, brats, unworthy, and true submissives/slaves...
The first two are the ones that truly worry me...
...the first, brats… those few who have the mind set that they need a huge chip on their shoulders, and think that the only way to find the right dominant is for her to knock it off and grind it to dust… then they will kneel to her… wrong... when in reality they are more than likely hiding behind false bravado to cover great pain from past abuse, or being used by the very dominants I am ranting about.... {And, no I am not talking about those who are well rounded, and are conscious of their actions, and make a conscious choice to accept the forms of reprisals and fetishes that go with who they are}
...the second, unworthy… those are the ones who crawl where ever they go, because they have the mind set that they are lower than dirt, and are convinced that the only dominant they deserve is one who will beat, degrade, and humiliate them... again… wrong... again, these have been more than likely down beat to the point of worthlessness by past abuse mentally as well as physically by life and now these so called dominants...
Now apparently no one cares about the second one, as the first one was what I caught hell for....... yet no one bothered to read the edited post..... that’s why I highlighted it........ again, use common sense... at no time did I say EVERY SLAVE FALLS INTO THESE CATAGORIES.. the whole post was about abused slaves... not those who have their heads on straight.....and that was stated plainly in the very next part.. yet those who attacked me apparently chose to skip that part............
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Then there is the third, the true slave, this one is comfortable with their submissiveness, they are open, will joke, tease, flirt, and at the mere hint will kneel and give their self willingly, they never have to be forced, or beat, or abused, degraded, or humiliated into their submissiveness… they never crawl to offer themselves because they feel worthless, { if you crawl to your dominant because that pleases you both then go for it, that is again a conscious choice.}.. they offer themselves with self pride, not boasting pride, but self pride in the fact they are a submissive. They are completely aware of who they are and what walk they have chosen to live.
True, some slaves have fetishes of pain, CBT, scat, blood, needles, etc etc... They have made a conscious choice to enjoy those things... there is the secret… conscious choice, not because they feel they deserve this treatment cause they are lower than low… but because they enjoy testing their endurance, they enjoy the pleasure and passion it brings to themselves AND to their dominant... just as serving her dinner, or rubbing her feet, cleaning her house, or just sitting and laughing and talking brings her pleasure… its all in the same package... And these slaves are the ones who will stand up to the abusive dominant when it is shown there is no respect or compassion returned, and respectfully walk away from them… yet those same dominants will label the one walking away as a player, a sub, or accuse them of not being a true slave… when in reality the slave has just shown an inner light on what that dominant is and she doesn’t like it…
That whole statement was aimed at those who are fully aware of what they are getting into and relish the experience they are in, WHAT EVER THAT EXPIERENCE IS! .. but as I said, that part of my post was skipped over...
Now, the rest you can go read for yourself if you care to, cause yes that was mostly based on my own personal opinion of certain people in this life walk.. am I against pro dommes, not if they are responsibly plying their business, but what it seems to me are there are more of those who are out there just for the joy of the abuse. Those who need help themselves because of their past and hate men and use the guise of this life walk to sate that desire to make every man pay for what happened to them.....
well there you have it, as you can see, I have no hidden agenda, nor was I attacking with a blanket statement any other way of living this life than what I stated.... uncaring domiants who use this life to sate their own hatered.... and what I am saying with this post is, before you accuse someone, make sure of your facts..
< Message edited by LadyDarkDragon -- 8/7/2008 12:43:04 PM >
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"The fire of passion from loving another is the light that pushes away the darkness of fear"
Lady Dark`Dragon
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RE: when the line is crossed from pleasure to abuse - 
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