RE: Playing: Private vs Public

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Playing: Private vs Public

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Playing: Private vs Public

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 4:32:04 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

I've played in public.... local dungeons and clubs, private parties and large events.....and yes, i do have a small exhibitionistic streak....it's fun to have access to different equipment and not have to worry about noise or space. There is different energy present too.....

My favorite would have to be private though......it's more intimate.....where my public play tends to be more BDSM, private play is far more sexual...it can be edgier and intense. I like a mix of both, so private offers a freer opportunity........ besides, i'm quirky in that i don't much care for my orgasms to be a spectator sport......I guess i'm rather old fashioned in that idea...lol

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 21

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 4:38:05 PM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

For role playing, I generally prefer something private.

Some of my artistic scenes need public space. It's not that big a deal to wander around wearing only paint in your own home.

(in reply to silkncarol)

Post #: 22

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 4:44:26 PM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I have no desire to ever play publicly. I'm very private in my sex life and have no desire to display it for a group of people.

Ditto.

_____________________________

'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 23

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 4:53:04 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I don't have much of a preference as I enjoy them both a lot. At home we don't have to worry about taking too long so that everyone can have their turn. However, at a dungeon there isn't a phone to ring, I can't see the laundry that needs to be done, there aren't pets to start puking in the middle of the scene, etc.

They both have pros and cons and I like to have both in my life.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Daes)

Post #: 24

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 5:26:10 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

i won't play in public and i don't care to see others do it either. my focus is on my relationship and that isn't for the consumption of others.

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 25

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 9:38:08 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I love playing at the Lair. I feed off the energy. Not to mention an evening spent with friends.

I love playing at home. It's intimate and hot. He pushes me further than he does in public.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to christine1)

Post #: 26

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 9:43:03 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I will have to agree with Aileen as well. When we scene it is intensely private, and personal. I couldnt imagine beng able to get into that headspace around others. With Fox, it is alamot always sexual and while I can be a bit of an exhibitionist he defiantely is not. I couldnt enjoy it if he wsnt.
Angel and I are not as sexual, persay, but there is no way he would ever get into his babyspace with anyone else around. It takes a lot to get him there just around me.
And, since I do not like to share my boys, attention wise or physically, playtime in public wouldnt have any advanage over private.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 27

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 10:24:05 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I like both for the different energies. In public there is more to play with, and the other sights, sounds and smells tend to be arousing even when you're not actually watching others. As a sub i love the freedom of being able to get naked and get spanked etc without anyone staring at me in a disapproving way, despite my sumptuously fleshy body! Total opposite to trying on clothes in a woman's dressing room I can tell you! That has to be the most humiliating thing i do, i hate it! Though it has improved of late as stores are so greedy they don't have enough staff to have one poking her nose in the curtain every few minutes! Sorry, side rant over! As a Domme, I still enjoy public play and also the social side of it. Plus I have learned SO much from others, that benefits My private play. Where I played was well controlled (and later We hosted the parties!) ... open only to members who had been vetted at a munch, so that meant that the creepies found it hard to get in. One or 2 managed it by putting on a good show at the munch, they were dealt with promptly! I don't see bdsm as My "sex life" - it permeates My whole life, so I don't have a problem with doing mostly non-sexual play (though i've managed to cum a few times as a sub anyway

).

I also love private play for the fact that it CAN readily get sexual which tends to suit Master. And there have been some intimate play scenes that simply wouldn't have been feasible at a club. Just means that both can be awesome for Me.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 28

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/5/2008 11:04:01 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

At home.

I'm not an exhibitionist, and I always get top drop after playing in front of a crowd. I think they steal our energy-I hate vampires.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Daes)

Post #: 29

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 3:11:20 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I enjoy both though I veiw them quite differently in that private play is fully part of the way I run My life whilst public play is just something We do, an enjoyable change of pace.

I play a damnsight harder in private than in public less variables to be controlled in order for My girl to be safe, such as if I drop her so far that she can't walk for ages, I can just put her to bed, I don't have to get her home first *g*

Private play tends to be mostly ad hoc, when I am in the mood... if I can't sleep, its 3am, I am bored and get an itch to play... We play!

Public play I am not in charge of the timeing, I have to arrange for Us to get there, etc. it becomes more of a set piece.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Daes)

Post #: 30

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 3:16:05 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I have no desire to ever play publicly. I'm very private in my sex life and have no desire to display it for a group of people.

Which is cool for you - but for many people - particularly during public play, playing isn't about sex.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 31

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 3:19:14 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i won't play in public and i don't care to see others do it either. my focus is on my relationship and that isn't for the consumption of others.

Again, public consumption isn't necessarily an issue during play. But to expand on what you said, you posting here is public consumption - even if you never typed a thing about your personal relationship, the advice you give to others shines a focus on it, whether you realise it or not, and leaves it open for public consumption.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to christine1)

Post #: 32

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 3:48:09 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I have no desire to ever play publicly. I'm very private in my sex life and have no desire to display it for a group of people.

Which is cool for you - but for many people - particularly during public play, playing isn't about sex.

the.dark.

I completely understand that. For me, though, it's 100% sexual and the main reason why I don't play publicly and was my answer to the op...

quote:

What do you prefer? Playing/Sceneing at home or playing at a local BDSM dungeon/club?

Why?

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 8/6/2008 3:49:25 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 33

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 4:13:13 AM

DaddyKeeper

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline

We rarely play in public, if we do it is at the smaller, more private, local events rather than the big city clubs. Some of the things we like would get us some strange looks at such events and the headspace can be harder to slip into with more people around. When we do go out to such events it is more about the social experience thant about play

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 34

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 5:09:07 AM

patwi

Posts: 296
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline

I know I could never play in public. First, because I feel that sort of thing would be entirely private (sexual or not) and I'd hate to share. Secondly...*laughs* because I don't even like to be seen in various states of undress by my man. I can't imagine how humiliated (not in a good way) I'd be if I were exposed like that in public.

If there's a word for an anti-exhibitionist, i'm it.

(in reply to DaddyKeeper)

Post #: 35

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 5:11:41 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

spice vs shock yep thats what it is all about one ton ones are always the best

(in reply to patwi)

Post #: 36

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 2:56:31 PM

Sabella

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline

I enjoy both but I love public play. I'm one of those evil vampires Leatherist :D but I enjoy swimming in the energy and will leave energized and recharged.

I do think a lot depends on the crowd. A few folks around who are having fun is terrific, a crowd hanging around yakking and walking around is not, it disrupts the energy. The Tops can't focus for warily watching them and the bottoms can't get into it because the connection isn't 100% so yes it matters.

For me public play often pushes me to an area I can't quite get to in private. Not sure if it's the possiblity of people watching, the energy, the music - but it's something intangible and delicious.

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 37

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 4:29:07 PM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline

I always thought no way would I EVER play or do anything in public. Even kissing.... no not for me.

Then last Saturday I went to Subversion with friends.... it was amazing. I got so into it, watching the scenes and the people and.... loved it.

I didnt have to get naked, as I had feared, or even lose my top. Much. I was on a St Andrews cross and hurt in a subtle but terrible way....

Already making plans to go back. And try and lose more inhibitions!

_____________________________

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.- Bill Bailey

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 38

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 4:37:02 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i won't play in public and i don't care to see others do it either. my focus is on my relationship and that isn't for the consumption of others.

Again, public consumption isn't necessarily an issue during play. But to expand on what you said, you posting here is public consumption - even if you never typed a thing about your personal relationship, the advice you give to others shines a focus on it, whether you realise it or not, and leaves it open for public consumption.

the.dark.

you have a point....while i do post on the boards it is what i choose to do and reveal. what i choose not to do and reveal is physically play in front of others...it's just not my thing. yes, consumption on a message board is what it is if i choose to post. it's something i can live with.

edited to lessen font size.

< Message edited by christine1 -- 8/6/2008 4:39:12 PM >

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 39

RE: Playing: Private vs Public - 8/6/2008 4:39:42 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

What do you prefer? Playing/Sceneing at home or playing at a local BDSM dungeon/club?

both. we have a small dungeon at home that we enjoy, as well as trips to local venues that are always extremely enjoyable.

quote:

Now that I've been to PA a few times, I've been considering the differences between Private and Public play.

you owe it to yourself to go to the Lair, Dragon's Gate, and Threshold's clubhouse in NoHo, if you have enjoyed PA. they all have a different energy about them, and we have enjoyed ourselves immensely and met many great folks while attending.

this slave has also noticed that you are located in Torrance. There is a South Bay Munch group that meets twice a month if you are interested in socializing~

more info here: South Bay Munch

(in reply to Daes)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Playing: Private vs Public

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.110