quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

i must tell you that your behavior on this thread has been growing more and more concerning to me.

quote:

Reading this, over the last few days, i told myself that i wouldn't be writing my own comments, BUT.. since it has made me do some thinking, i will share them anyways.

Over time, i have often read things Prinsexx wrote, and like many, became annoyed, but i never replied in any prior post she ever wrote, to voice my annoyance.

i have long felt that she more enjoyed those people who gave her an attitude, over those who patted her on the back, and felt sorry for her.

Drama, drama queen,attention whore, Emotional vampirism.. whatever, she feeds off those types of posts, and so, i am stuck with a two way tug of war.

One one hand, i'd like to suggest that those people whom she feeds off of, in their posts to her, to just NOT enable her that way.. Just ignore her, don't reply to anything she writes.

But, on the other hand, i can see why some people might persist in writing anyways, even at risk of being made out to be cold,heartless, mean, cruel, whatever, and that might be, because they know if they don't, something she might say, had the offchance of being believed, by someone new.

i tend to think just ignoring her, though, and not letting myself to become one of her enablers, nor becoming someone she can suck off for attention, as an attention vampire, to be best. And anyone new here, won't be blind for long of her patterns. It, after all, didn't take me very long, to become annoyed.

i do think many of those whom she interacts this way with, are seeing how she uses them, in their interactions, and are likely doing some self questioning, as to why they allow her to pull them in that way.

and, yeah, theres the entertainment value in all of this, i have often enjoyed reading what others have said, and i wished i could say, but not daring. Entertainment is great, but do you really wish to carry on, feeding her whatever it is that she so loves?

i sure won't.

So, this is likely the one and only time i will prob write like this in one of her posts. Most of them, i can ignore, and with the rare occassion where i feel i have a valid response, that wouldn't be feeding her whatever it is she loves to feed on, i may post then.

quote:

ORIGINAL: suhlut

Reading this, over the last few days, i told myself that i wouldn't be writing my own comments, BUT.. since it has made me do some thinking, i will share them anyways.

Over time, i have often read things Prinsexx wrote, and like many, became annoyed, but i never replied in any prior post she ever wrote, to voice my annoyance.

i have long felt that she more enjoyed those people who gave her an attitude, over those who patted her on the back, and felt sorry for her.

Drama, drama queen,attention whore, Emotional vampirism.. whatever, she feeds off those types of posts, and so, i am stuck with a two way tug of war.

One one hand, i'd like to suggest that those people whom she feeds off of, in their posts to her, to just NOT enable her that way.. Just ignore her, don't reply to anything she writes.

But, on the other hand, i can see why some people might persist in writing anyways, even at risk of being made out to be cold,heartless, mean, cruel, whatever, and that might be, because they know if they don't, something she might say, had the offchance of being believed, by someone new.

i tend to think just ignoring her, though, and not letting myself to become one of her enablers, nor becoming someone she can suck off for attention, as an attention vampire, to be best.  And anyone new here, won't be blind for long of her patterns. It, after all, didn't take me very long, to become annoyed.

i do think many of those whom she interacts this way with, are seeing how she uses them, in their interactions, and are likely doing some self questioning, as to why they allow her to pull them in that way.

and, yeah, theres the entertainment value in all of this, i have often enjoyed reading what others have said, and i wished i could say, but not daring.  Entertainment is great, but do you really wish to carry on, feeding her whatever it is that she so loves?  

i sure won't.

So, this is likely the one and only time i will prob write like this in one of her posts. Most of them, i can ignore, and with the rare occassion where i feel i have a valid response, that wouldn't be feeding her whatever it is she loves to feed on, i may post then.

quote:

ORIGINAL: suhlut

Reading this, over the last few days, i told myself that i wouldn't be writing my own comments, BUT.. since it has made me do some thinking, i will share them anyways.

Over time, i have often read things Prinsexx wrote, and like many, became annoyed, but i never replied in any prior post she ever wrote, to voice my annoyance.

i have long felt that she more enjoyed those people who gave her an attitude, over those who patted her on the back, and felt sorry for her.

Drama, drama queen,attention whore, Emotional vampirism.. whatever, she feeds off those types of posts, and so, i am stuck with a two way tug of war.

One one hand, i'd like to suggest that those people whom she feeds off of, in their posts to her, to just NOT enable her that way.. Just ignore her, don't reply to anything she writes.

But, on the other hand, i can see why some people might persist in writing anyways, even at risk of being made out to be cold,heartless, mean, cruel, whatever, and that might be, because they know if they don't, something she might say, had the offchance of being believed, by someone new.

i tend to think just ignoring her, though, and not letting myself to become one of her enablers, nor becoming someone she can suck off for attention, as an attention vampire, to be best.  And anyone new here, won't be blind for long of her patterns. It, after all, didn't take me very long, to become annoyed.

i do think many of those whom she interacts this way with, are seeing how she uses them, in their interactions, and are likely doing some self questioning, as to why they allow her to pull them in that way.

and, yeah, theres the entertainment value in all of this, i have often enjoyed reading what others have said, and i wished i could say, but not daring.  Entertainment is great, but do you really wish to carry on, feeding her whatever it is that she so loves?  

i sure won't.

So, this is likely the one and only time i will prob write like this in one of her posts. Most of them, i can ignore, and with the rare occassion where i feel i have a valid response, that wouldn't be feeding her whatever it is she loves to feed on, i may post then.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3

So, back to that.
The topic being collars. i have never been collared. i used to think it was the important goal, and wanted it badly. Now, i tend to think, sure a collar would be nice, but its more important to take the time needed to establish a relationship.

i think the idea of a collar, for people newly exploring the lifestyle, it becomes a bit of a frenzy, in thinking that it is some brass ring to try for. Romanticized ideas, of having a ceremony, and being collared, is much the same way some enter into a marriage, only thinking of the engagement, the wedding day, the gown, gifts, showers of attention, and honeymoon destinations. It is when they wake up, and see that all that comes after is a ton of work, that dark reality sets in.
 
hi suhlut,
 
when i first started this internet approach i put collars up there - those things that signified that a guy was really serious about me, that when he placed it around my neck its significance was huge - because of the hoopla on the internet, and lets face it, those who are collared are proud of it and rightly so.
 
but ive since learnt that collars can mean diddly squat and that was a sharp learning curve for me at the time.  now if a guy talks about a collar i shall say, no, not yet, not for a very long time, not until we are so established it actually does take on the meaning it is meant to have.
 
for any new explorers on here, if you can negotiate this long and tortuous thread, i hope you pick up that a collar isnt the goal, the relationship is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3
So, back to that.
The topic being collars. i have never been collared. i used to think it was the important goal, and wanted it badly. Now, i tend to think, sure a collar would be nice, but its more important to take the time needed to establish a relationship.

i think the idea of a collar, for people newly exploring the lifestyle, it becomes a bit of a frenzy, in thinking that it is some brass ring to try for. Romanticized ideas, of having a ceremony, and being collared, is much the same way some enter into a marriage, only thinking of the engagement, the wedding day, the gown, gifts, showers of attention, and honeymoon destinations. It is when they wake up, and see that all that comes after is a ton of work, that dark reality sets in.
 
hi suhlut,
 
when i first started this internet approach i put collars up there - those things that signified that a guy was really serious about me, that when he placed it around my neck its significance was huge - because of the hoopla on the internet, and lets face it, those who are collared are proud of it and rightly so.
 
but ive since learnt that collars can mean diddly squat and that was a sharp learning curve for me at the time.  now if a guy talks about a collar i shall say, no, not yet, not for a very long time, not until we are so established it actually does take on the meaning it is meant to have.
 
for any new explorers on here, if you can negotiate this long and tortuous thread, i hope you pick up that a collar isnt the goal, the relationship is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

It almost takes a Zen mind to understand a point ..........

quote:

ORIGINAL: suhlut

<snip>
The topic being collars. i have never been collared. i used to think it was the important goal, and wanted it badly. Now, i tend to think, sure a collar would be nice, but its more important to take the time needed to establish a relationship.

i think the idea of a collar, for people newly exploring the lifestyle, it becomes a bit of a frenzy, in thinking that it is some brass ring to try for. Romanticized ideas, of having a ceremony, and being collared, is much the same way some enter into a marriage, only thinking of the engagement, the wedding day, the gown, gifts, showers of attention, and honeymoon destinations. It is when they wake up, and see that all that comes after is a ton of work, that dark reality sets in.

i am so glad, to be rid of the whole...
              ~*~ hurry, and collar me, frenzy.~*~

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

"Oh you do what I tell you, I think you're hot and you give good oral/blowjobs, now I want to collar you so you cannot get away! I want to stake my claim, so to speak" on the flip side the slave thinks "They treat me like property, they give good paddle/flogger/insert favourite method of play, we both like lots of the same things, he/she likes the way I do xxx, and now they are offering a collar! I can strut around feeling all cool, owned and safe in front of the other slaves, I am taking it!!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Does not a collar represent the same magnitude? Or could it ?

quote:

And part of the slave mindset is i believe an inability to get out once they are in (the collar so to speak). I've had private mail from slaves who are in the most abusive of relationships (according to my judgement at least0. Why would they write to me and ask me if wha they are being required to do is acceptable or not/ it's almost like becoming a member of a cult and not knowing how to get out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Does not a collar represent the same magnitude? Or could it ?

It could, and for many it certainly does. The point I want to make is that it is important for people to communicate what they want it to mean to THEM.

Let's make some examples, vanilla and M/s. Meat market bar, a man and woman are out with friends having drinks, dancing and flirting. Man and woman's eyes meet, after much dancing, flirting, probably telling a few exagerated stories to impress the other.....they wobble off to who's ever house is most convenient, have some overrated booze fueled sex and pass out. Cold clear light of day, hangovers, messy apt turns off visitor, padded bra turns off man, 20 text messages woman finds on man's cell phone obviously from a woman. They rather ackwardly part ways. Time goes by, she is mad and hurt he doesn't call, says he is a creep for using her. He is mad that she is mad (if he even knows) Maybe they meet again, he remembers she was an easy fuck, tells her the same shit with a few excuses for poor behaviour. They fuck again. This time maybe they wake up and spend the day together because neither had anything better to do. She reads "potential relationship" into it. He reads "oh cool, more sex!" She cooks for him, he stays cuz....."oh cool, more sex AND decent food" she reads "ohhh he loves my cooking and is making love to me!" maybe he really likes me! .............so on and so forth .....Add some rough sex and slap tickle along with some potential "deep spiritual blah blah blah", it's M/s.
A few weeks/months go by, we've got two people that are potentially not even reading the same book, let alone being on the same page. The guy is liking the sex and the food, buuuuut.........he would really prefer a chick with bigger boobs and a little less clingy. And what's with that weird gap in her front teeth anyway. Oh well, she gives good head........ The woman is picking out china patterns (or a house with bigger kitchen and oh.....yeah, I guess a slap tickle room in the basement)
Guy is out with the guys some night, meets woman that has bigger boobs (yeaaaaahhh, cuz she flashed them at the bar!!!) too much dancing, drinking, too many text messages from that woman that is home cooking and dolled up for some dungeon play later......he shuts his cell phone off and follows the big boobs home. Big blow up, end of "relationship".

Who was the guilty party, who fucked over who?

Odds are the woman, and alllllllllllll her friends are going to call him a creep.

I say they both screwed up because they forgot one very important thing. COMMUNICATION

The thing is, we have to remember what it is we each want. If it's no strings fun, great, communicate that. BUT, if it's a long term commitment, then we have to set ourselves up to suceed. We might not be having all the no strings fun in the meantime but if that's not what you want........so what. Or, maybe it's a combo of the two we are after, some no strings fun until a long term commitment. All well and good but, gotta keep the lines of communication clear.

If a person wants a longterm commitment then they should not set themselves up to just be an easy fuck. Regardless of the line of bullshit that is being spouted off. "Oh, you only want a long term collared relationship? Well, then you won't mind if we don't have sex or any M/s type interaction until we get to know one another ALOT better!" If they stick around, they are being truthful.