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AAkasha -> RE: What do you do when your "male wife" gets a job? (8/21/2008 9:55:00 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Hello Aakasha,
Weren't you on here a little while ago talking about your vacations with your guy? How on vacation, he had to work even harder in order to keep you happy on vacation? Hmmmm. Perhaps his job is a vacation for him? I don't know... just a suggestion. And also, you were on here a while back looking for a guy you could just beat without any sexual involvement. I distinctly remember that.
Perhaps it's time to look at the wholeness of the men around you and not just be a whiny princess who stamps her foot and wants what she wants. You are not the end all and be all of anybody's life. Even your submissive. He is happy. Celebrate with him. How hard is that? Get a maid. How hard is that? Get a cook, or go out to dinner, have it delivered in. Hire a student at the culinary institute. They want to make cash, they want to make fancy meals. And since you have so many oodles of money which you always throw into your posts, this should not be much of a difficulty. Not a very high price to pay for a good man to be happier.
This is not rocket science here. You have a guy who loves you and now has a hobby and social interaction and a break from you. No matter how wonderful you are, it's probably wise to let this man have something outside of you. What if y ou die someday and he will be alone. And then what? Or you may split up or whatever. This will be cheaper than palimony.
Helping your submissive be prepared for emergencies is just as much a dominant thing as giving them orders. In fact I'd say it is even more dominant. It shows you are able to see the forest and the trees.
good luck. And congratulations to him for finding something that brings him a more in depth, joyous life.
peace and passion,
sunshine
We've found a great compromise that I mentioned in an earlier post. It actually will lead to me being less of a workaholic (yeah, right!). The upside of all of this is the bump in our income, which I didn't care much about, but now I see it as added freedom to some degree. Not having him waiting on me hand and foot - which really, is what he did - is an adjustment. He misses it as much as I do, and he feels guilty -that's the other issue we have to deal with.
His official full time work starts in September. His hobbies have also started to take a hit..and that makes him sad also. He's realizing that having a lot of free time was very nice. I don't know if people realize that with the exception of a year or so, he has never had a full time job in his life. He doesn't know what it's like to have to be at a job 8 hours a day - his life used to be very flexible and he had 15 - 20 hours a week for hobbies when he wasn't taking care of me.
For me, the hardest part is giving up the extras. It's not really about cooking, cleaning and going to the grocery store, which he will continue to do because those are the bare minimums and he doesn't mind it. It's the added extra touch, comparable to being at a four star resort vs. a 'nice hotel.' When he had nothing but time on his hands, he could do many extra things. Now my clothes are all clean and pressed, but they are not put out for me to wear. I have to pack my own luggage when I travel. I can't bring him along shopping so I don't have to carry things. The car isn't always freshly washed with a full tank of gas. He doesn't drive me places so I can't relax on the trip. He doesn't leave warm towels fresh from the dryer when I am in the shower. He doesn't go pick up eye make up remover becuase he inventoried the bathroom supplies and noticed I was running low. All of those things absolutely SPOILED me. Am I unrealistic? Hell yes, I am the FIRST to admit that I get treated like a queen.
But people also have to realize that a couple makes financial sacrifices in order for one person to not have to work. The last 5 years I could have gotten boats, huge diamonds, a sports car (or two), trips to HI four times a year, three houses, whatever - by having dual income with no kids. Instead, we elected to make less money so we could have a very quality lifestyle. For now, he's got a hobby he wants to pursue and make a little extra money. So yeah, I can get a sports car now if I want it. Do I? Personally, I'd rather have the warm towels waiting for when I get out of the shower.
Akasha
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