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gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:00:41 AM

Corvidae

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

Why oh why did I chat online with an asshole???

I'm bored... have an evening off. I figure, what the heck, this guy wants to chat, sure, it'll be nice to talk with someone.

We chat... it starts up nicely. I'm upfront about my sexual orientation and that if they're a guy it's just going to be goofy flirtation. Things go well. We chat, talk about bdsm, sex, whatever. They say I'm pretty, I tell them they've got a nice dick (which, obviously, is the second thing they showed me) Eventually it evolves to some webcam stuff. They go "My, what nice tits you have." I say, thanks, and I have a brain too. They say sure sure... can I see your stomach. What the heck. They go good, now turn around and pose as if I were spanking you. I say, I'm not really into that. They say, come on... you get a kick out of chatting with me, give me a little somethin somethin. I say, no, I'm not too keen on webcam yoga. They go "But I thought you were a sub?!?" I say, I'm a bottom... I'm in this for myself I never said you could top me, and I'm not even into guys, and most of all, I'm not a callgirl! If you were someone I'd agreed to bottom to, and someone I was interested in sexually, then sure, I'd bend over, but right now I just want some flirtatious human interaction if you don't like it, log off. They go "you're a poser, real subs would do it." I go, fine, then I'm not a real sub. I never promised you anything. We both came into this just expecting to chat. The webcam was just a fun way to verify identities. They say "you just don't want to show me all your body because you're a fat whore." I say whatever happened to "Nice tits?" They ask me how much I weigh. I, being an insecure idiot, tell them. They say Yeah right, you probably weigh 20 lb more than that. I say, 1. I don't, and 2. if I did there would be nothing wrong with that. They call me a bitch, i call them an asshole, they say I'm a poser, I say they're superficial and two faced, they call me a skank. I log off and block them. Nobody wins. I feel stupid for even bothering. I just wanted to have some fun, and maybe let someone else have some fun too. Why does it have to devolve into idiotic bickering on both parts. I feel like an idiot, and what little faith I had in online interactions is gone completely. GAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Post #: 1

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:10:08 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Because you are a part of it to make it happen.
If the conversation starts going downhill, you don't end and stop it. If it's in a pub or public setting, you say bye and walk away. But this is easier. It's online. You switch it off.
You didn't - you perpetuated it. Learn from it and then forget it and move on to the next interaction.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Corvidae)

Post #: 2

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:11:29 AM

Corvidae

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

quite true... I am almost as culpable, which is why I'm kicking myself. I let myself get baited into the bickering... always wanting to have the last word. Sigh.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 3

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:12:39 AM

simpleplan2

Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline

I guess your idea of fun and his idea of fun are two different things. I'm with the dark...you perpetuated it. And in your profile, you say you're a sub so you may be sending out some mixed signals? Of course, all that "if you were a sub, you'd do it" crap is just that.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 4

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:14:10 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Meh - it happens. If you let it eat you up, then the reality is that they are having power over you.
They were an asshole. Instead of being annoyed at yourself, look at what you escaped and feel good about yourself because you aren't stupid enough to get sucked in. Give yourself a pat on the back and laugh at their immaturity.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Corvidae)

Post #: 5

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:16:48 AM

Corvidae

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

True... the sub/bottom thing was a bit mixed signals... however, I never said I would sub or bottom to him. And you're right the "you're a sub, so you must submit to me" stuff is crap.
And I also agree with the dark... I perpetuated it, which is why i feel like an idiot, and not just a victim. Sigh. It is so easy to get into a firestorm with someone you don't know and will never see. Silly me. Silly world.

(in reply to simpleplan2)

Post #: 6

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:18:50 AM

simpleplan2

Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline

Pfffffffffft! No big. You lost what? A few minutes out of your evening? That's nothing. I always feel stupid when stuff like that happens to me too but whatcha gonna do? We all have those times.

(in reply to Corvidae)

Post #: 7

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:20:46 AM

Corvidae

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

Pfffffffffft! No big. You lost what? A few minutes out of your evening? That's nothing. I always feel stupid when stuff like that happens to me too but whatcha gonna do? We all have those times.

True true. Thanks for listening to my rant. Time for me to move on, and go to sleep. Night y'all.

(in reply to simpleplan2)

Post #: 8

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:24:50 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Show me your tits. Mmmm I did'nt know it was that easy.

(in reply to Corvidae)

Post #: 9

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:28:58 AM

DavidS8ist

Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Corvidae

True... the sub/bottom thing was a bit mixed signals... however, I never said I would sub or bottom to him. And you're right the "you're a sub, so you must submit to me" stuff is crap.
And I also agree with the dark... I perpetuated it, which is why i feel like an idiot, and not just a victim. Sigh. It is so easy to get into a firestorm with someone you don't know and will never see. Silly me. Silly world.

Again, the pilot's definition of a safe landing: Any one you walk away from.

And yeah, so you did perpetuate it. He was still a jerk. Doesn't make you less complicit, but from your recounting, you managed to hold on to your dignity until the last salvos. No harm, no foul.

But, and this is purely a tangent, whenever someone tells me they're "a sub", I have to bite my lip to keep from asking "Nuclear or diesel?" Again, it's this "a" thing, which so strongly implies to the unwashed and unthinking that 1) everyone self-identifying with an article before the descriptor is a carbon copy of everyone else and 2) there's some kind of entitlement if your articled descriptor is the opposite. I.e., if one is "a sub" then any "a dom" can...whatever! Feh!

It's a load of crap. You are, I am. If chemistry happens from that, fine, well, and good. Otherwise, civility is the very least we should expect from each other.

Would that it were so.

D.
"Don't you teach 'em knife fighting. Teach 'em to kill. That way, they meet some sonofabitch who studied knife fighting, they send his soul to hell."
- David Mamet, "Spartan"

< Message edited by DavidS8ist -- 8/7/2008 3:30:32 AM >

(in reply to Corvidae)

Post #: 10

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:29:03 AM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

have met a few of those..*L*..a couple from this place also. One triggered my curiosity, so i added Him to my msn..

-You will bend - hands on Your back and greet me properly-
-um...sure - but why - we do not even know each other yet-
-You will get a cam - and do this so i can see it-
-i do not have a cam, Sir-
-GET ONE! Only way You can prove to me You are a twue sub-
-um - i could take a picture and send, Sir - to at least prove i am female and bending over-?
( like i would send a picture to a complete stranger)

next talk:
-greetings, slut-
(me thinking wft - let's test this) - writes:-bends over, hands on back - greetings, Sir-
-turn the cam on-
-No cam, Sir - and i am not planning to buy one-
-you are not real - if you were You would have obeyed me by now- (second time we talked)
-oh, i am real, Sir...but i would like to inform You - You are not. Good day-
--deleted and blocked--

And he still called Himself...Master*L*...probably running around here still somewhere.

_____________________________

.Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower leaves in the air after being crushed underfoot.

(in reply to simpleplan2)

Post #: 11

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:44:36 AM

DavidS8ist

Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: badlilthang

<snip>

And he still called Himself...Master*L*...probably running around here still somewhere.

Yanno, I keep wondering where all those titles come from? I mean, I know the accredited academic institution which bequeathed upon me the title of Master of Arts in Speech, but hell, Master This and Lord That and Sir SoAndSo...PLEASE! STOP THE MADNESS! What the hell is wrong with Bob or Alice or whatever the hell their name is? Do they somehow feel more, what?, noble? Elevated? Empowered because of an affected title and hideously obscured identity? Or are they so ashamed of what they're doing that they need to hide behind a persona?

Anytime anyone introduces him or herself as SirThis or LadyThat, I ask them for a page citation in Burke's "Peerage". Lacking that, their name is mud.

D.
"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
- George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to badlilthang)

Post #: 12

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:44:41 AM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidS8ist

But, and this is purely a tangent, whenever someone tells me they're "a sub", I have to bit my lip to keep from asking "Nuclear or diesel?" Again, it's this "a" thing, which so strongly implies to the unwashed and unthinking that 1) everyone self-identifying with an article before the descripton is a carbon copy of everyone else and 2) there's some kind of entitlement if your articled identifier is the opposite. I.e., if one is "a sub" the any "a dom" can...whatever! Feh!

It's a load of crap. You are, I am. If chemistry happens from that, fine, well, and good. Otherwise, civility is the very least we should expect from each other.

Would that it were so.

i agree on that "i am a sub/I am a Dom" is utterly stupid to say. when/if people ask me where i stand in the area between Dominance and submission - i say that i am submissive by nature...because i am. i like to help people, care for them, please them. i like to make people around me happy and i also react strongly to dominant personalities (not all!!).
i prefer quiet ( as in quietly safe in their own skin) and natural Dominants - the ones that does not have to inform me that they ARE Doms...because it shines through - and they do not need to say anything.
My nature shines through also - yes, i can be sassy and outspoken - i have a strong mind which i like to use - and at times my mouth engages before my brain (blush) - but i also know my place, when need be. On my own i have to trust in myself and my decisions - if Owned - i have to trust in His.

_____________________________

.Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower leaves in the air after being crushed underfoot.

(in reply to DavidS8ist)

Post #: 13

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:45:50 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

bad unblock me. I will send you the damm cam.

(in reply to badlilthang)

Post #: 14

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 3:52:40 AM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidS8ist

quote:

ORIGINAL: badlilthang

<snip>

And he still called Himself...Master*L*...probably running around here still somewhere.

Yanno, I keep wondering where all those titles come from? I mean, I know the accredited academic institution which bequeathed upon me the title of Master of Arts in Speech, but hell, Master This and Lord That and Sir SoAndSo...PLEASE! STOP THE MADNESS! What the hell is wrong with Bob or Alice or whatever the hell their name is? Do they somehow feel more, what?, noble? Elevated? Empowered because of an affected title and hideously obscured identity? Or are they so ashamed of what they're doing that they need to hide behind a persona?

Anytime anyone introduces him or herself as SirThis or LadyThat, I ask them for a page citation in Burke's "Peerage". Lacking that, their name is mud.

D.
"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
- George Bernard Shaw

*L*..well we can't all be blue blooded by birth - and be adressed as Lord this or Lady that - so they create an online persona that is all they dream to be - pretend to be and does not realize that the hollow spot inside will only grow bigger.

i am me - easier to remember the truth, i say - than to create a fake personality for online use. Hell, i am blonde - i have more than enough being me..lol..

Some have a rough rt - and creates another world online to play in..the sad part is when their playworld involves real people that get hurt in the process. Not everybody can find the player among the real and serious people among all the sweet talking, silver tongued liars...all of us have been hurt out here one time or more - the trick is to learn how to read between the lines, and cut the losses quickly...i feel sorry for these lonely people, though - especially those who come online only to mess with people because they can....
ops..shushes...*L*

_____________________________

.Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower leaves in the air after being crushed underfoot.

(in reply to DavidS8ist)

Post #: 15

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 4:05:04 AM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

bad unblock me. I will send you the damm cam.

eyes widening with joy..really???? oooh...jumps up and down...and unblocks the kind Master...

_____________________________

.Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower leaves in the air after being crushed underfoot.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 16

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 4:09:29 AM

DavidS8ist

Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: badlilthang

i am me - easier to remember the truth, i say - than to create a fake personality for online use. Hell, i am blonde - i have more than enough being me..lol..

Reminds me of a quote - a life lesson, actually - from the movie "Spy Game" with Redford and Pitt: "What if she was an asset? You just told her four lies that now have to be true!"

Yeah, and the BS flows on both ends of the whip, the drama queens, the "sorry, sobbing, psycho, subbies" needing rescue, the...

Oh, hell, you know it all. But again, it speaks to my thesis that if someone can't treat and be treated as an equal in the beginning of an interaction and wait to see if a dynamic develops naturally, they're probably not worth the pixels on the screen.

And they're probably nothing like the person they're pretending to be.

D.
"Three Rules of Life"
1 - Never eat at a place called 'Mom's'.
2 - Never play cards with a man named 'Doc'.
3 - Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own."
- Nelson Algren

(in reply to badlilthang)

Post #: 17

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 4:46:11 AM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

i had to laugh OP, sorry love, but that is such a classic - almost verbotem on 'how to spot a wannabe dom' - it should be up there on CastleRealm as the 'Litmus Test' for twonks too cheap to pay for it by any other means.

its the whole - 'Oh goodie ive found a smorgesboard of available women all ready to do as i tell them, cos i have testes'

ho-hum

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to DavidS8ist)

Post #: 18

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 4:52:56 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

Pfffffffffft! No big. You lost what? A few minutes out of your evening? That's nothing. I always feel stupid when stuff like that happens to me too but whatcha gonna do? We all have those times.

I don't feel she lost anything. She learned from it, no?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to simpleplan2)

Post #: 19

RE: gaaarrrrhhhh (this is a rant... ignore it) - 8/7/2008 4:55:35 AM

simpleplan2

Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline

Hopefully, but you never know.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 20

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