Stress and telling the truth

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Stress and telling the truth

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Stress and telling the truth

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 10:03:41 AM

Dusty15

Posts: 50
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

This is a two part question and I am seeking some answers.
My Mistress has me writing down what I eat so that I am in better health. Went to the doctor and had a complete exam and the only thing that they saw was my surgar level was a little high and that is all. Well in this food journal I have been writing down what I have been having and My Mistress was up set that I have been eating to much junk food but yet I am in could health. I could have lied to her but did not. I know that I went against her in what she want me to do. What are your thoughts and how should I handle it.

Second question
I know my Mistress is under some stress from some personal things that are going on and I think it is affecting us and I think she is taking it out on me. When you are under stress do you take it out on you sub's/slave?

Post #: 1

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 10:17:54 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

The doctor says you are in good health... humm... now if I trusted doctors and knew the test that proved your good health, I might go on that. But not trusting doctors to listen, do the right test and see all in those test... I feel it is a good thing to put more faith in eating right, doing healthy things and for those it applies... obey Mistress! You chose her as your mistress and now bulk because you want to eat unhealthy foods when you do have a bit of a medical issue. What do you think happens with blood sugar issues? Some mild stuff and then some serious stuff, when you decide to continue to eat poorly. Stop excusing your eating habits or trying to justify them or find a mistress that doesn't care what you eat and what your health condition is.

People who are stressed will be more irritable. Whether they take it out on you or not... depends on the person. What you see as taking it out on you might be irritation or for all I know... abuse. I am sure people have seen my irritation as taking it out on them... but it isn't always how one is treated, but how one view's how they are treated. One and one don't always add up to the same two.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 8/7/2008 10:19:51 AM >

(in reply to Dusty15)

Post #: 2

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 10:18:42 AM

Semos

Posts: 21
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline

First and foremost, telling the truth is ALWAYS the best way to go. Sure, we don't always like the consequenses, but the consequenses of lying are usually way worse.

Secondly, if that is what your mistress needs from you is to abuse when she's feels the need then so be it.

< Message edited by Semos -- 8/7/2008 10:22:12 AM >

(in reply to Dusty15)

Post #: 3

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 10:30:35 AM

BLKMADONA

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/11/2004
Status: offline

Semos, well said hun, well said.

Truth is truth. If you lie, it defeats the purpose of the whole dynamics of the relationship. TRUST is the main part(I dont care if anyone else disagrees with Me, but then again, I dont care what anyone else says anyway..lololol).

As for the stress issue, it should make you feel good that She can release Her frustrastrations out on you. It is you who She comes to for relief(as for how She releases it-well, heh, just be happy She comes to you for relief!)

Blkmadona

(in reply to Semos)

Post #: 4

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 10:35:06 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

Ok, avoiding the first question as i refuse to accept that someone your age doesn't know the answer.

For the second, i assume when you say she's taking her stress out on you, you're not talking beatings and such as you claim to be a "very heavy player"; so i'm guessing it's her words and attitude that are getting to you. If she's using you to relieve her stress, that's one thing; but if she's using you as a scapegoat for those things that pissed her off or aggrevated her, that is generally going to be harmful and abusive to a relationship. What's the difference? In the former, she knows (and emotionally accepts) that she's dealing with you; in the latter, you're just a dartboard with other people's faces on it.

That's just my opinion though.

-oren
the Imp's pet

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Semos)

Post #: 5

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 10:37:25 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Emotional abuse is not acceptable. It causes damage that other's end up dealing with and can make it difficult for those damaged to find relationships in the future. Irritation is different than abuse, but if there is an accepted pattern or a continuance of irritation, taking it out on or abuse... in this, most likely emotional... there is a problem in expecting someone to take it and a problem in one who accepts it. A mistress in my opinion does not have the right to take it out on her submissive, but to treat him with love, even in those painful play moments. Emotional abuse has no place in any relationship and cannot be considered right or healthy. But that is just my opinion.

(in reply to BLKMADONA)

Post #: 6

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 10:43:55 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Generally, junk food bad. You know that already, right? So make sure you moderate what you eat. This is most easily done by not buying the stuff in the first place!

We all have bad days. We all (I suspect) vent about those bad days to our friends, spouses, steering wheels, goldfish, what have you. Venting is a good thing. Taking out stress on a third party by redirecting anger at them is NOT a good thing, regardless of the nature of the relationship. Self control is one of the hallmarks of a good dominant, IMO, and if you can't control your anger, well... it just doesn't bode well.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 7

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 11:06:34 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Each person's body is different.

What is too much junk for you will not be for the next person and worlds too much for another.

Eat what you like as long as it doesn't interfer with your health I say. Folks telling each other how to eat is getting very tiresome.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Dusty15)

Post #: 8

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 12:57:51 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dusty15

This is a two part question and I am seeking some answers.
My Mistress has me writing down what I eat so that I am in better health. Went to the doctor and had a complete exam and the only thing that they saw was my surgar level was a little high and that is all. Well in this food journal I have been writing down what I have been having and My Mistress was up set that I have been eating to much junk food but yet I am in could health. I could have lied to her but did not. I know that I went against her in what she want me to do. What are your thoughts and how should I handle it.

Second question
I know my Mistress is under some stress from some personal things that are going on and I think it is affecting us and I think she is taking it out on me. When you are under stress do you take it out on you sub's/slave?

You do realize that your blood sugar being a little high is about all it takes to develop things like neuropathy, eyesight problems, kidney problems and a host of other not so pleasant things... right? And you do fit the profile of someone that could develope diabetes... but you know that too... right? They call it junk food for a reason, and stressed or not, I would get upset too. She wants you to be healthy for a long time and that isn't going to happen if you don't watch your diet. Heart disease and diabetes... silent killers.

If you are aware that she is under stress already how about you help her out and work on correcting your eating habits on your own and give her one less thing to worry about?

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to Dusty15)

Post #: 9

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 1:01:56 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

We don't know you or your Mistress so anything we say on here is going to be from a very subjective viewpoint.
I'd get very annoyed with you for not understanding what you are doing to your body by eating junk food and you wouldn't get away with it very often if I was your Mistress.
Maybe if you tried harder to follow her instructions she would be less stressed.
As you can see my sympathy is with her.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 10

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 1:10:58 PM

UmbraDomina

Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline

I don't know what you want to hear, but here is my advice.......... DO WHAT YOUR MISTRESS TELLS YOU!!!!!
Thats the whole idea, you submit to her, you do what she says. period end of story.
Honesty in communication is important, it is key.

Alexandra ~

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to lateralist1)

Post #: 11

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 1:15:36 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dusty15

This is a two part question and I am seeking some answers.
My Mistress has me writing down what I eat so that I am in better health. Went to the doctor and had a complete exam and the only thing that they saw was my surgar level was a little high and that is all. Well in this food journal I have been writing down what I have been having and My Mistress was up set that I have been eating to much junk food but yet I am in could health. I could have lied to her but did not. I know that I went against her in what she want me to do. What are your thoughts and how should I handle it.

Second question
I know my Mistress is under some stress from some personal things that are going on and I think it is affecting us and I think she is taking it out on me. When you are under stress do you take it out on you sub's/slave?

A. Do what your mistress tells you.

B. Not enough info to answer the stress question properly. We do not know what "take out on" means to you.

When I am stressed I do something that destresses me, alone. Gardening, hiking, going for a ride, cleaning the barn. Anything that is cathartic and healthy.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Dusty15)

Post #: 12

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 2:01:49 PM

cuddlesandabuse

Posts: 11
Joined: 3/1/2008
Status: offline

Read up on blood sugars and maybe go consult a dietician. High blood sugars can be triggered by other things then just a candy bar. I can't tell you whats right for you but you need to look into it, for your own health.
I plan my meals high in protein, and try to avoid things that break down into sugars fast. If I want crackers I have them with a little chease. If I want toast in the morning I chose 2 pieces of whole grain bread over a bagle or even white bread and I have it with cream chease or peanut butter. If I need a treat after dinner I need to think about it, what about a sweet yogert? An apple and peanut butter, make trades don't deny your self, don't lie, and talk with your Mistress

Talk Talk Talk with her, before you don't do as she asks, simply not doing something is a good way to anger anyone. Try what she asks and see if you can find a good time to bring up your hesitations.

your lying to her at this point in my eyes, you sound unhappy with her and not trusting that she isn't just lashing out. You need to confront that ASAP. If this isn't what you want, you need to be honest about it. If she is abusive to you, you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. If she is pushing you to a point your not quite comfortable at, for your own good, I hate to say it but I give her credit for that.

But I hate to say it we are all human, and never perfect..... have I taken the stress in my life out on others, friends/family/subs? Yes I have..... be honest you have too, but is it a pattern in her or your life? Can you identify it and stop it? Can you support her in this hard time?

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 13

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 3:47:59 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dusty15

This is a two part question and I am seeking some answers.
My Mistress has me writing down what I eat so that I am in better health. Went to the doctor and had a complete exam and the only thing that they saw was my surgar level was a little high and that is all. Well in this food journal I have been writing down what I have been having and My Mistress was up set that I have been eating to much junk food but yet I am in could health. I could have lied to her but did not. I know that I went against her in what she want me to do. What are your thoughts and how should I handle it.

Second question
I know my Mistress is under some stress from some personal things that are going on and I think it is affecting us and I think she is taking it out on me. When you are under stress do you take it out on you sub's/slave?

The question you should ask yourself about the food, is did you agree not to eat certain things. If so, your Mistress is probably upset that you didnt stick to what You agreed, even if you didnt lie about it. The answer to your second question is a bit tricky, you maybe correct in that She is picking on you, although it may be subconsiously. Maybe the answer is simply to ask if you have been displeasing Her lately, and see what Her reply is.

Just a thought on so called healthy food, many items have more salt and fat in than a conventional cheeseburger.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2461158/Supermarket-sandwiches-have-more-fat-than-two-McDonalds-burgers.html

(in reply to Dusty15)

Post #: 14

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 5:19:13 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I read this and my first thought was what on earth was your mistress worrying about what you ate. How chickenshit!

then i realised that your relationship with your mistress is what the two of you have made it. If the two of you have agreed that she has control of your eating, then by not following her dictates you are denegrating the relationship you proport to have with her. If this is such a problem then you have two choices - change the relationship,or get out.

If getting out is not on the cards - eat better!

And for question two - perhapes you need to ask her if she is taking her stress out on you. There is a possibility she doesn't know that she is doing this. If she knows - then you need to - again - decide if this is acceptable or not. Talk to her.

The third option in all of this is renegotiating your relationship parameters. If there are things you aren't happy with, try to change them. Good luck.

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 8/7/2008 5:21:03 PM >

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 15

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 5:26:05 PM

MsMillgrove

Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline

All I need to do is look at your photo and know you need to lose weight. Don't need to be a doctor to tell you that the number one predictor of heart attack--is the weight carried at the waistline. Your mistress doesn't want to visit you in ICU. She wants to keep you well and happily serving her. Likely she cherishes you if not loves you too.
Keeping a food journal is the first step to understanding how to modify your diet for weight loss.
Stressed and taking it out on you? That's what you're there for.. to help- relieve that the stress. However, you're muttering about a food journal and worried about losing your junk food. Stop fussing and look at what is stressing her--can you help?
Can you massage her feet for her or do the things you know make her laugh or relax? Sure you can.

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 16

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 7:09:51 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

I agree with everything said so only have 2 comments:

1 You can withdraw consent. You can tell your Mistress you hate the food controls and want to be free to eat junk food. No woman wants a sulky, sullen submissive who resents Her effort to dominate him. It can only backfire if She pushes you every day to do something you hate. She doesn't have the time and energy to waste on futile power struggles with you.

She may however decide to seek a more obedient and less wilful partner. Its your call what's more important to you - Her love and attention or junk food. This should be a no-brainer, my friend, but perhaps not.

2 Try to think of ways to distract her from whatever is so stressful. Make being with you the bright happy spot in her day. Realise she will be cranky at first and make it your daily mission to make smile. Listen sympathetically, offer assistance....just generally be loving and understanding.

Good luck

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MsMillgrove)

Post #: 17

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 7:21:10 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I also have a comment from someone who does intense physical play, of the type you say that you're interested in... If you have a domina who is willing to do cutting, piercing, tattooing, branding, needle play, etc., having a servant with the potential for diabetes is not going to work. Diabetics do not heal as quickly, and are more prone to infection. Anything that breaks the skin can fester. If your blood sugar is elevated, it is crucial to know -why- and get good blood sugar management BEFORE you start doing play that will cause either active or subcutaneous bleeding (which includes most heavy beatings and all play that is designed to break the skin). With that restriction, even though you may -like- to be a heavy player, I certainly wouldn't play you until your blood sugar was stable and diabetes had been ruled out.

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 18

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 7:30:24 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I couldn't agree more. A couple of the folks that I play with have diabetes. Guess what the first question is that I ask before we play? If you guessed that it's what they ate that day, you'd be right on the money.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 19

RE: Stress and telling the truth - 8/7/2008 8:52:00 PM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

I have a few thoughts on controlling a sub's diet.

There's this whole concept of "vitality" that goes beyond tests at the doctor's coming back relatively good. If you exercise regular (no you don't need to run marathons but yes you do need to get off your computer and go for a walk a couple times a week), if you eat a balanced diet (good balance of fruits, vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, healthy fats and lay off junk food, fried food, salt and processed food), it contributes greatly to your overall quality of life, your vitality. What does that mean? It means that you have more physical energy, that psychologically you feel better about yourself, you have an increased sex drive and capacity for sensuality; it decreases depression, anxiety, stress, high blood pressure, etc. Your overall outlook on life improves because you're taking care of yourself and giving your body, and therefor your brain, what it needs.

Sounds to me like your Mistress is trying to look out for you because if you are a more healthy person, you not only can serve her better, but you will feel better. Rotten thing for her to do, eh?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Stress and telling the truth

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.095