Short bits of Wisdom

Short bits of Wisdom (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

Naira -> Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 8:25:01 PM)
I would like to ask experienced Mistresses out there to offer any pieces of wisdom that they have learned over their years of experience. Preferably, not an essay...though most of you could probably write a book on the subject. I'd like to hear any short bits of easy-to remember advice, as I am very new to the scene and much of my knowledge is only theoretical or of my own random devising.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 8:27:15 PM)
Be true to yourself and your own vision. Listen, watch, and pay attention.

UmbraDomina -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 8:37:45 PM)
remember that there are no one set of BDSM rules to live by, with that in mind you have to find yourself, what you want and desire, and make it work. Too much lube is just enough, anything will fit with enough lube. Oh yes, and 96% of things you hear on line, are not true. Alexandra ~

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 8:40:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina . Oh yes, and 96% of things you hear on line, are not true. Alexandra ~ Except the stuff me and Alexandra say, because we are Weal Twue Mistwesses. And just smart old broads. [:)]

blackrosegoddess -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 8:46:28 PM)
My Pearls of Wisdom: 1) Don't agree to anything you now, that you may not want to do tomorrow ( If you have to, sleep on it and see how you feel about it later). 2) Be honest. If you dont like something, or wont do something say so. 3) Don't expect others to do for you what you have not or will not do for yourself. ( If you cant see yourself doing it, then dont put it on your list of things you enjoy, like or want to try). 4) Age doesnt matter! Experience and open mindedness should! 5) Be respectful and get respected. I think that about covers my pearls.

darchChylde -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 9:09:41 PM)
CapsLock does not a dominant make. Any sentence starting with "You're not a real Dominant/submissive if" will generally end in total bullshit. Avoid all absolutes (yes i did have to). Two weeks of online domination does not make you ready to use a single-tail on someone. You're going to make mistakes, accept it and move on. Being dominant doesn't make you automatically right. The only labels that should matter to you are yours and that of anyone you are in a relationship with. And added just to be a smartass: Dominant women are not the only people who might have some useful wisdom to share with dominant women. I may be back later, this was fun; or maybe i shouldn't, it was too much fun. -oren the Imp's pet

GreeneGoddess -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 9:15:40 PM)
Never forget that we're all just people - nothing more, nothing less. A man who approaches you wanting to know if you'll do fetishes x, y, and z may stick around long enough to engage in fetishes x, y, and z - but not much longer than that. If he's lying to his wife - he's lying to you.

undergroundsea -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 10:52:28 PM)
Let's suppose you come to have two subs. One day the first comes and complains about a conflict with the second sub, and the next day the second sub comes and complains about a conflict with the first. In that case, the bit of wisdom I have to share is to remember that there are two sides to every.......paddle. ;-) Cheers, Sea

LadyPact -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/7/2008 11:15:48 PM)
I wrote this a while back. It may be helpful to you. Some of the best advice I've gotten. If you break your toys, you can't play with them anymore. (That includes the human ones.) No matter how good you get, there will always be someone out there better than you. Learn from them. Just because you're a Domme, don't think there's nothing you can learn from a sub. If you get a new toy, practice is for pillows, not for people. Know from the beginning, that in the end, you'll never know everything.

Sylverdawn -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/8/2008 4:22:45 AM)
It you do not own it do not touch it.. Please and thank you are not excluded from the english language because you put a Cap on your name Remember those who you step on your way up.. will kick your ass on your way down Cheers SD

thetammyjo -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/8/2008 5:40:18 AM)
Do it for yourself first and foremost. Ds is a human relationship, like all other human relationships, the degree of "specialness" is only of matter of what you do to make it special. Never forget you are human and that your partner is human too. You have hard and soft limits too -- respect them as you would your partner's. If you don't know, ask and learn. Never pretend you know how to do something that you don't. No matter how great the orgasm it is never worth a life or harm. Stop trying to find "The One" and start learning and exploring so you can become your own "One"; also stop trying to be "The One" for someone else and just be the best you that you can be. Getting a lot of experience does not make you a slut; it makes you knowledgeable, self-aware, more capable, and more competent. Do not rely on the Internet. Get involve in some local community but not just any old community of perverts. That's what I've got off the top of my head.

Dnomyar -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/8/2008 5:44:00 AM)
Op pay attention to everything I tell you. There is no rule book. If you need a rule I will make one up for you. Beware of people who tell you to ignore me.

MsMillgrove -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/8/2008 9:37:47 AM)
Pay attention to your "random devising"--it's what will make you unique. Bring the talents, strengths and skills of your past experiences into your role as a Mistress--you know more than you realize. Stay humble, honest and human. Start small with tools and work up. Examples: do you really need to master the singletail now, if you have little experience in real life scenes? Floggers are easier to control, lightweight ones cannot do too much damage. Learn to spank before you buy canes. Oberve, observe, observe. That means going out to the community, watching other dommes in action and attending demonstrations and seminars. Over time you'll figure out who will mentor you. Not necesarily a formal apprenticeship--but learning who are the ones you'd like to ask for advice, or to show you how to use a tool. Which subs can help you? Subs can be terrific educators--they explain from their viewpoint. Most importantly--take your time, build confidence, relax and Have Fun. Welcome to our world!

MamaDomme1 -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/8/2008 11:30:55 AM)
Remember that respect is on a two-way street and should be given, as well as received, and is only earned with honesty and temperence. Experience is gathered in real life, not online fantasies..... (dang it) so, as others have said-- get out from behind the monitor and be involved with the local community where you live. There are some truly wonderful people around!

blackrosegoddess -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/8/2008 12:25:02 PM)
There are things you wont do and things you shouldnt do. Be brave enough to know the difference and stay away from the things you shouldnt do.

BiteGirl -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/9/2008 1:13:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde I may be back later, this was fun; or maybe i shouldn't, it was too much fun. [;)] I liked reading that. I'd say some of the stuff here that's already been said. There's no rule book, forget if you ever had one. Age is irrelevant, as are many other things you may think are. It's about the person. Forget people who are arrogant and rude. Don't think of this "scene" as being any different than any other. Treat people like you would like to be treated. Never put someone though something you wouldn't go through yourself. Have a serious think. Remember that "top space" does exist, and that no (or safeword) means stop. Trust is everything. I'll think of more later on.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/9/2008 8:51:27 AM)
(1) Know Yourself (2) Ask clearly for what you want. (3) Don't be shy about walking away when the fit isn't "right"... you're under no obligation to concede your "self" for someone else's satisfaction. (4) The only person who can decide how "true" you are is yourself -- by how true you are -to- yourself. (5) A "Lady" can be determined and courteous at the same time -- they are not mutually exclusive. Calla Firestorm

Lashra -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/9/2008 2:39:16 PM)
You can read and listen to advice BUT use your own common sense in a relationship. I've met more Dominants who have messed themselves up by something they read or heard on a chat channel instead of using their own common sense regarding it. Always remember slaves/subs are people with wants, needs and desires just like us D types. Don't ever think that as a Dominant you are so mighty that you can't fail, you can. ~Lashra

AAkasha -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/9/2008 2:53:03 PM)
I'll share some advice more related to actual topping: 99% of submissive men are incredibly affected by the clear knowledge that their dominant partner is enjoying his plight. This is even more true if she's sexually enjoying it. Multiply that times infinity if she not only tells him, but she shows him how turned on she is. Men long to be dominated by a woman who is passionate, excited and stimulated by his suffering, surrender or despair. He wants her to be into it. Akasha

paulr1980 -> RE: Short bits of Wisdom (8/9/2008 3:01:52 PM)
Lashra has given the best advice on this matter. No two people, regardless of their orientations are the same--something often forgotten. I personally cannot stand formulaic approaches. It is always done theatrically and mistaken for being passionate or being somehow a unique ability. Men, even submissives, respond to a woman's vulnnerability and her ability to show that side of herself and her desire to be wanted. If that man is really into her, he is willing to demonstrate their acceptance and want of her through submission to her.

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125