RE: Isn't there some protocol?

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RE: Isn't there some protocol? - 8/10/2008 2:59:20 PM

hardbodysub

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It's not protocol that you need here, it's common sense, which would dictate that the two doms discuss the situation. I agree with you that the guy you corresponded with sounds bogus.

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RE: Isn't there some protocol? - 8/10/2008 3:00:13 PM

aftershox

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Joined: 10/14/2007
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Too bad you aren;t in Ohio...LOL. I have been in vanilla BI relationship, but have yet to find a "sister sub" or a couple (for 2 separate threesomes with each Dom). I had been on a quest wth my Master for "another set of hands" in play.

I had one slave ask her Dom permission to commnicate with me. That made sense. Other subs communicated freely. I had another situation where the guys corresponded and the gals chatted separately My Master is so straight, he couldn't imagine doing a foursome, and he was a bit uncomfortable contacting the other Dom. Still he did the honorable thing buy opening dialogue with the other Doms.

I also had lots of guys volunteering to do an mmf. LOL. I might have even had a Dom with a sub -- wanting to check me out first - similar to your situation. I didn't pursue that - don;t remember why,

My rule of thumb is any red flag and I am done. A Dom who doesn;t talk to other Doms is a spineless jerk or hiding something. In anycase, it is a big red banner,, just chuckle, roll your eyes and move on.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

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RE: Isn't there some protocol? - 8/10/2008 3:08:59 PM

mmsprecious

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Joined: 12/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix92901

Correct me if I'm wrong. I understand that each relationship is unique but isn't there some sort of protocol? In other words, wouldn't a Dom/Domme communicate with the other Dominant if their subs are going to be involved in any type of play?

Not necessarily. Some Doms are hands off, others do not like the idea of competition and having to play by anyone elses rules. Fox has one rule, he has to have permission to talk to anyone off CM, be it email, IM or anything else. THEY have to ask me for permission to talk to him. You would be shocked how many people will refuse to do so.
If it makes you uncomfortable, if ti bothers your Dom, or if you worry it is leading to a bad situation (I would believe it could be a red flag that he wants to be involved but exclude another dominant) then you know its a no go.
If he simply doesnt want to make first contact, then have your Dom mail him and open the lines. I wouldnt personally trust someone who wanted to exclude one partner becasue of their role. Thats just me though.

DV

my Master requires me to talk to any potential dominant play partner on cm for at least five days back and forth before the person can ask for my yahoo id. after that, if permission is given, there are other protocols for asking for pictures, very detailed descriptions of "likes/dislikes" and setting up meetings. Master sends a brief but detailed response of how this is to be conducted. you would be surprised how many doms just don't make the effort. it's no big deal to me, it actually weeds out those that most likely will not follow protocols in person as well. but protocol varies from relationship to relationship. there is no hard fast rules across the board for everyone.

Master Mike's precious

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RE: Isn't there some protocol? - 8/11/2008 12:37:19 AM

AllietheKitten

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*Lurid Dom* Wet suits and flippers? Do tell me more....

quote:

Sorry, I read "correspondence" to mean you'd had significant discussions with him about the topic...most Doms I had talked to considered 'checking me out' or 'getting to know me' basically getting a naked photo and some lurid sexual fantasies of mine (they were frequently disappointed when I fabricated fantastical tales involving wetsuits and flippers).

But, yes, I'd be very, very wary of meeting however casually a dom that "doesn't talk to other doms". I'm not sure what he fears there, but clearly he's not on the level. Talk to the submissive and set up a meet yourself without her protector. Unless she's as shady as he, she'll understand your trepidation about the meet.

< Message edited by AllietheKitten -- 8/11/2008 12:39:13 AM >

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RE: Isn't there some protocol? - 8/11/2008 7:34:21 AM

littleone35

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That he would not talk to you Dom is a very bad sign. What i am getting from you post is, it sounds like there is no female. he wants to get with you and is using this phantom femake as bait. I would say to tell this guy to take a walk or produce the girl.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Isn't there some protocol? - 8/17/2008 9:20:48 AM

phoenix92901

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Thank you all for your feedback. My suspicions turned out to be correct. No sub ever contacted me and his emails began including questions about my sexual preferences. Those I avoided answering by replying that, with all due respect, I would only discuss it with his sub.

Finally he realized I wasn't going to fall for his ploy and suggested I look for a playmate at a lesbian bar in Manhattan. LOL!!!!

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RE: Isn't there some protocol? - 8/17/2008 6:33:33 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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There's no known protocol and I'm betting he doesn't really know a sub for you to play with, he's trying to get you to play with him. Go to munches, and talk to other subs - attached and unattached. If you click with someone, then tell her you're bicurious. See what develops.

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