Can you play without any emotional attachment whatsoever?

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[Poll]

Can you play without any emotional attachment whatsoever?

Yes

33% (28)

No

35% (30)

Would depend on the person/persons involved

30% (26)

Total Votes : 84

(last vote on : 11/4/2008 6:16:22 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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Can you play without any emotional attachment whatsoever? - 8/10/2008 3:32:03 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

I was wondering how many of us can play with others in this lifestyle without ANY emotional attactment....I know for myself I cannot......

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Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

Post #: 1

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 3:34:27 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Depends on how you define emotional attachment.
I *do* have to like the person I play with..

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 2

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 3:36:34 PM

ncprincess

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/14/2006
Status: offline

I agree with GreedyTop, I have to like the person I play with....but, expanding that thought, if I'm just "playing" I'll be the top....in order for me to submit, I need the emotional involvement.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 3

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 3:37:09 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

That's what I meant.....sorry it was not clear

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 4

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 3:41:14 PM

Raziyalale

Posts: 13
Joined: 7/20/2008
Status: offline

for me to "play" with anyone as a submissive i have to feel safe because after all i feel i am putting my life in the other persons hands so i feel i could not do it without some level of emotions but that is just my thoughts

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(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 5

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 3:42:16 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Yes, I can, I have and I will again in the future when I am either single, or my partner lets me. I don't need any connection whatso ever to play with someone.

Now if I don't like you, or you made a bad impression on me when we first met I will not, but other than that, nope no connection needed at all. I've played with people who I didn't know and enjoyed it quite well. Same as enjoying playing with people whom I knew.

quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

I was wondering how many of us can play with others in this lifestyle without ANY emotional attactment....I know for myself I cannot......

(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 6

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 5:17:25 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

I've only submitted myself to Daddy for any type of play, except at my birthday party, where He restrained me with His arms while He allowed another Dom to use a violet wand all over me and get me off that way. I had never met him before the party, but he was very well known to everyone there and has taught electrical play up and down the East Coast for Black Rose, so I was fine. It was intense, and I enjoyed it.

I have topped a couple of girls and while they were friends, I didn't feel esp. "attached" to them. The new subs I would like to play with, I feel no attachment for, so I guess my answer is no. However, I cannot imagine letting another person do the things Daddy has done to me, but we've been a couple for 5 years. I guess I make no sense whatsoever.

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

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(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 7

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 5:19:19 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

made perfect sense to me, Red

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 8

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 5:31:29 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Whew... thanks, GT. I felt like I was all over the place. *goes and sits down quietly* lol

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 9

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 5:33:13 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

I have topped a number of people during casual play at play parties. I had no particular emotional attachment to them. As others have said, I would have to at least like the person.

To me, it is not as satisfying as playing with someone with whom I have a deep emotional connection, but it is doable and enjoyable.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 10

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 5:41:06 PM

Nitefalls1000

Posts: 41
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline

I can but prefer not too

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 11

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 6:25:11 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

Ditto what Nitefalls said.................

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitefalls1000

I can but prefer not too

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(in reply to Nitefalls1000)

Post #: 12

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 6:28:10 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I prefer NOT to at this stage in life. I see bdsm more as art.

It's the reason I also avoid having sex.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 13

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 6:47:32 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Nope, not any more.
When younger and just realising how intoxicating D/s sex was, tried it a couple of times, once with cute-but-stupid and once with not-mr.right-but-mr. rightnow.
Never again.
Need the whole package of someone whose company I enjoy before, during, and after mind-blowing orgasms. Otherwise he's just an unsatisfactory Hitachi.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 14

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 7:24:01 PM

Alumbrado

Posts: 5560
Status: offline

Where did you get the idea that casual play is about sex and orgasms?

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 15

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 7:32:14 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Exactly. I'm not just a life support system for a "fuck stick."

A great deal of the bdsm play I have done was not at all about sex or romantic intimacy- It was to practice things I see as art-or to play with control.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Alumbrado)

Post #: 16

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 8:04:40 PM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

I could, but I don't, it would do very little for me.
So why bother?

(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 17

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 9:05:40 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I can have loads of fun with no strings attached. And no sex, either!! Sometimes a flogger is just a flogger.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LadyIce)

Post #: 18

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 10:30:56 PM

cravesdom

Posts: 5219
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I have in the past but I have to admit that when there is an emotional attachment it means a lot more to me.

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 19

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 10:50:07 PM

subveritas

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raziyalale

for me to "play" with anyone as a submissive i have to feel safe because after all i feel i am putting my life in the other persons hands so i feel i could not do it without some level of emotions but that is just my thoughts

I agree. I have to know someone well enough to trust them cause someone could get hurt. And more than likely me, but I am very co-dependent and know to be careful. So I watch, though when I was younger I could "play" with no emotions involved. Which I think tended to make me seem like a wannabe, since I could "play" go home and promptly forget them. Though then later was the fear of allowing my emotions to be involved. I am glad I found someone who allows me to open up and truly allow me to enjoy the experience. And really it has nothing to do with sex or anything else like that if anything "play" has a connection deeper than sex or an orgasm. At least for me, but I am also a cuddler.

(in reply to Raziyalale)

Post #: 20

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