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RE: did it really kill the cat? - 8/21/2008 12:26:35 PM   
mastersgemm


Posts: 16
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

You should do what your dom has said you should do in these times. 


I certainly wouldn't do what a 'dom', who hasn't even the confidence or trust to give her his name after two years, says.  He needs his privacy? Why? Is he married?  Does he know your personal details? I'm guessing he likely does, so if that's the case, why the big secret on giving you information?

So-called 'doms' who have a need for secrecy are not at all 'doms' - generally just men hiding from their Dominant wives lol but that's my own thought and experience.

Sounds like you've invested far more into this person than he has in you I'm afraid - Good luck

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 8/21/2008 6:28:12 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		Good, but did you get his name?

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 8/31/2008 1:35:34 AM   
LikeitRough69


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline 		Hi Berrysurprise.

I have enjoyed reading your posts and am happy to hear that things are better than ever. However, what you need to ask yourself is does this truly make you happy? After 2 years of living with mystery, are you prepared to give yourself to someone who has only just come clean? Do you know that all that you now know from him is true? If not, do you care? Think carefully before launching in to something that you do not feel comfortable with.
It sounds to me like this Dom has something to hide. I would guess that there is likely to be a third person in the picture?

Look after yourself first...

(in reply to Huntertn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/21/2010 1:02:39 PM   
berrysurprise


Posts: 75
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		Hard to believe it has been four years now... and I still dont know. It even surprises me that we are able to have a fantastic D/s friendship/relationship that continually grows stronger and deeper everyday.

As he is he is everything I need.

(in reply to LikeitRough69)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/21/2010 2:21:07 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Wait- what? After four years you still don't know his last name?    That's messed up. I'm glad you're happy, but how can you trust someone who continually hides something so basic from you? Surely that's just the tip of the iceberg.

     

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(in reply to berrysurprise)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/21/2010 3:22:07 PM   
D0M1NANT


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/18/2010
Status: offline 		Kudos Taggard, very nice advice given and was much along the lines of what I say almost regularly.. Much can be said about a Dom/me when a sub comes to them with issues revolving around such inane questions arising..

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/21/2010 4:29:26 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		wtf???

4 years and you don't know his name???? Wow..just wow. I think I asked Master what his last name was on our 2nd or 3rd date lol.

4 years?? I can't even imagine. How do you call someone your Dom or even friend if you don't even know the most basic of info? Maybe I'm too strict about who I consider a friend. hhhmmm.

Just...weird.

(in reply to D0M1NANT)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/21/2010 4:43:35 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

Hard to believe it has been four years now... and I still dont know. It even surprises me that we are able to have a fantastic D/s friendship/relationship that continually grows stronger and deeper everyday.

As he is he is everything I need.


I'm glad to hear that things are still going well.  However, I am curious about something.  You mentioned from the original two years ago that this person is both online and real time.  I was wondering what emergency plan is in place for things that could happen while you are together, such as car accident, health emergency during play (eg, heart attack), or any other event that would require a trip to the emergency room?  Are you willing to call 911 and get him necessary medical help under "John Doe" until he is conscious and is able to give his identity?


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(in reply to berrysurprise)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/21/2010 5:12:46 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

Hard to believe it has been four years now... and I still dont know. It even surprises me that we are able to have a fantastic D/s friendship/relationship that continually grows stronger and deeper everyday.

As he is he is everything I need.



Wow. :) That's very interesting!

Thanks for coming in with an update. I hope you update this thread again in another couple of years. I'll look for it...if I'm still around. :)

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(in reply to berrysurprise)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/21/2010 7:48:36 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

Hard to believe it has been four years now... and I still dont know. It even surprises me that we are able to have a fantastic D/s friendship/relationship that continually grows stronger and deeper everyday.

As he is he is everything I need.


I'm glad to hear that things are still going well.  However, I am curious about something.  You mentioned from the original two years ago that this person is both online and real time.  I was wondering what emergency plan is in place for things that could happen while you are together, such as car accident, health emergency during play (eg, heart attack), or any other event that would require a trip to the emergency room?  Are you willing to call 911 and get him necessary medical help under "John Doe" until he is conscious and is able to give his identity?



And all the time I've been here (ok, off and on), nobody's ever needed to get more in-depth than 'Jeff'.

I bet the thinly veiled sarcasm wouldn't be quite as necessary if it were, say, Madonna we were talking about.

I mean come on, last names?

'The' Jeff

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(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/21/2010 8:08:20 PM   
Mistletoe


Posts: 288
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

Hard to believe it has been four years now... and I still dont know. It even surprises me that we are able to have a fantastic D/s friendship/relationship that continually grows stronger and deeper everyday.

As he is he is everything I need.



I find not knowing his name after so long quite odd also. I cannot begin to figure out how you can place so much trust in a person who will not tell you his name.


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(in reply to berrysurprise)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/23/2010 9:41:52 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I'm glad to hear that things are still going well.  However, I am curious about something.  You mentioned from the original two years ago that this person is both online and real time.  I was wondering what emergency plan is in place for things that could happen while you are together, such as car accident, health emergency during play (eg, heart attack), or any other event that would require a trip to the emergency room?  Are you willing to call 911 and get him necessary medical help under "John Doe" until he is conscious and is able to give his identity?



I am also very glad things are going well and I'd have to echo LadyPact's advice above. I injured myself severely when I was with my Dom on a bicycle ride. I ended up with 2 broken arms and couldn't fill out any paperwork at the hospital - he was able to do it for me even when I out of my head and barely concious because he knew my information. He was able to call my family and give them the news so they could come to be with me.

I was able to do the same for him at the hospital this week - give out important information and details that they needed to know when he was out for the count...drug allergies, medical history, etc. After that because I personally know his family, I was able to go give them the information about his condition in person and give his aging mother who doesn't drive anymore a ride there myself.

I'm only giving this amount of detail in an effort to emphasize that you don't know what the heck is going to happen in life and having limited knowledge of someone who is important to you can impact a lot of things in ways that you never see coming. In my own opinion, I am so very very glad I had the important information about my Dom, and vice versa, so that the awful things we've gone through were handled as efficiently and optimally as possible.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/23/2010 10:10:05 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		maybe his last name is Iamnottellinya

(in reply to berrysurprise)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/23/2010 12:47:11 PM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline 		my first was online only and i reached a point that i couldnt keep it that way it was either rl as well or nothing took a lot of courage and asked to speak to him about it and he le tme talk and listend he coulddnt take me fully rl but would give me more than jsu tonline ie skype phonecalls and meetings. but then still got to a point where i realised that i needed it to be rl and had to stop it as he couldnt give me anymore than he was.


edited to add

so what i am saying is jsut ask to talk and see where eit goes but it may be a turn for teh best or a split. jstu be warned

< Message edited by phoenixmoonn13 -- 9/23/2010 12:48:15 PM >

(in reply to berrysurprise)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/23/2010 2:18:09 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He's been sneaking over to her place for some nooky for four years now, and she still hasn't found out his last name, address, nor the names and ages of his wife and offspring. Wow, just wow.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/23/2010 2:46:22 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		antipod, I've never found it important to know my friends last names, and online I've had people who were great friends in the fact we talked everyday hours an hours sometimes an I didn't know their first name let alone their last lol.
quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

I find it hard to conceive of someone being someone else's close friend and not knowing their last name. This is, admittedly, coming from one who runs a criminal background and credit check on anyone he gets intimate with, but I have reasons for that. Even if you don't want to go that far, a bit of background is kinda normal, methinks. Weird, IMNSHO.


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/23/2010 10:28:49 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Curiosity killed the cat............

But......

Satisfaction brought it back!

Heard that somewhere. Just thought i would share.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/24/2010 2:55:11 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

antipod, I've never found it important to know my friends last names

It's not necessarily that people find it important to know them, it's that after a certain period of free and open conversation it just tends to come up naturally, so if it doesn't come up after four years of a supposedly close relationship you wonder just how free and open the conversation can actually be...

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 9/24/2010 7:51:53 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		Ya, ya, you is eventually gonna get stopped by them coppers for lookin' too suspect.

"Good evening, sir. Can I see your license and insurance?"
"My name is Susie Q. That's all you need to know."
"Sir, I need to verify your documents."
"The Q is silent."
"Please step out of the vehicle, slowly."
"Dude, I'm not drunk. I'm a spy."
"...Keep your hands visible."
"I'll make one phone call and you'll spend the next year behind a desk."

So yeah, is your boyfriend a spy!?!? Exciting!!!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: did it really kill the cat? - 10/2/2010 1:43:22 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

I am a very blessed sub, i have been lucky enough to have a great relationship/friendship with a very noble Dom. Both online and in r/l He has been my rock for almost two years now...

However I dont know much about him... in fact i dont even know his surname. This has never bothered me before as i wanted to have a Dom that was not to involved but lately i have started to feel very curious and have wondered about things, i even felt a little resentful. Obviously he needs his privacy but i wonder if i should ask him or should i just leave things as they are? I know that i have been having hardtimes lately and i have felt insecure. should just let this pass?


You can always ask, if he is not comfortable with telling you, he will or should simply say so




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(in reply to berrysurprise)
Profile   Post #: 40
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