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MadRabbit -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 5:47:37 PM)
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ORIGINAL: masterforRT
It's obvious to me that no one here even begins to understand what I said in my first post. In order for BDSM to work, there has to be Dominants and submissives. For BDSM to work, submissives need to SUBMIT. For BDSM to work, there has to be a trust/belief that Dominants are what they claim to be and submissives are what they claim to be.
Yes, but what you seem to be unable to grasp is the fact that dominance and submission, in the context of BDSM, only happens within the sphere of a interpersonal relationship involving two people. Thus, the trust/belief and the notion of respect only has to exist between those two individuals for BDSM to work.
There is no great social hierarchy of dominants and submissives. They are merely identities taken by individuals with no credentials or requirements needed.
Being a dominant in BDSM is not the same as being a doctor in normal society.
Never has been. Never will be.
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In this case, things sure seem to have broken down! Here, subs distrust the credentials of ANY and ALL Dominants, unless they have had the opportunity to PROVE their dominance to THEM!
Are you suggesting that people should instantly give up control of aspects of their lives to the first guy on the Internet who comes by wearing a prison jumpsuit?
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Doms offer other Doms ZERO respect here.
I can't say I agree. Some self identified dominants on these boards offer me a lot of respect for simply being me. This is based off my character and my thoughts I share here and not some false notion of a social position that doesn't exist.
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I'm sorry, but it just doesn't work that way in real life!
[8|]
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If I believed that I had the right to question the credentials of every police officer that pulled me over then I'd be spending a lot of time in jail! I simply have to trust that they are who they claim to be-until they show otherwise.
No, you don't. You have to right to see their badge as soon as they claim to be a police officer.
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Whether I personally like them or not, I have to respect their POSITION as an authority figure.
No, you don't HAVE to. There just can be consequences if you don't.
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This is what I spoke of in my original post-respecting the position. And from what I can see, not a single one of you 'got it'.
Because your wrong. Completely, utterly and unequivocally wrong.
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Are your collective minds THAT closed?
Or not dumb enough to believe me...
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What I speak of is called a leap of faith. I believe that the guy who just put on blue lights, pulled me over and got out of his car is a cop. I make that leap of faith. I treat him respectfully and usually get off with a warning. Could he be a fake? Possible-but unlikely! The point is that I make that leap of faith that he is who he claims to be-and then I respect his position as an authority figure.
Or you could...you know....just ask for their badge.
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It's the same with BDSM. If I walk into a dungeon and see a guy dressed in black tying up a woman, I make the leap of faith that he's a Dominant. I don't walk over to him and ask to see his resume or credentials. I don't quiz him on his knowledge. I make the ASSUMPTION that he's the real deal
Or you could...you know...just ask him his identity in the course of getting to know him and avoid the possibility of getting slapped in the face for assuming they might be submissive and "disrespecting" them as I image you probably would do.
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and treat him as such-with the respect that a Dominant should expect.
Except no such social position granting some degree of special entitlement of respect to Dominants exists outside of maybe a High Protocol group where all members agree to follow such social protocols.
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I'm beginning to realize that this simply does not happen here.
And because it really doesn't happen anywhere....
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I'm beginning to realize that this is not real BDSM as I know and practice.
Maybe because the real BDSM you know and practice is a fictitious abstract creation in your own mind, brought to life in between late night Internet porno sessions and breaks for Dorritos....
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It's a bunch of subs who whine and spend most of their time 'topping from the bottom' and a bunch of 'Doms' that let them get away with it. If that's what you want to do, then who am I to tell you otherwise? Go right ahead and believe/do whatever you want.
What does this have to do with anything?
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In the first line of my profile it says; "I am the real deal. No more, no less". That describes me to a T. Frankly, I don't care if anyone here believes me and/or respects me or not-what I DO care about is when I walk into a Dungeon that I get the respect there that I deserve. And 99% of the time I do.
I'm willing to accept those odds.
Uh huh....
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