RE: sub's Fantasy; Dom's Limit

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RE: sub's Fantasy; Dom's Limit - 8/15/2008 10:01:02 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: compassionatedad

So the ultimate question is... Can the sub be content in a relationship if they have to abandon their strongly held fantasy due to the fact that their Dom/me has a hard limit on the same subject? Will the Dom/me's limit ultimately lead to a failure in the relationship somewhere else? I ask for the sub's opinion on this point.

I don't expect Firm to make my "fantasies" into reality. For me, something doesn't get labeled as a fantasy unless it is pretty much outside the realm of possibility to begin with. Otherwise, if there is something sexual I wish to experience, then it's a desire and something we would have discussed when we were deciding if we were compatible with one another.

As far as those desires go, if he were to have a limit against one or two, or even a few, I doubt that would be enough to cause any serious problems. Accepting and compromising for differences is part of any mature relationship.

If, however, my desires were overlooked or ignored for a significant percentage of the time... that might lead to a bit of frustration and mess with me being content. But then, why would I get into a relationship with someone I wasn't compatible with in the first place?

< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 8/15/2008 10:03:31 PM >

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RE: sub's Fantasy; Dom's Limit - 8/16/2008 11:02:51 AM

lizcgirl

Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
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I've been in relationships where I wanted more than the man was willing to give as far as fantasies and whatnot. Most of them I didn't let that break the relationship, however I did feel slightly unfullfilled. I love being in a relationship now where my fantasies not only please my Master but are also shocking to Him because they're all things He's willing and eager to do. Whenever He goes out of His way to do something to please me I'm always shocked, and His reply is always the same- He does them to be worthy of my best. He knows that when He does something, no matter how small, to please me, my nature is to turn around and please Him even more. If I had a fantasy He was unwilling to do, if I felt strongly enough about it I could ask Him for permission to fullfill that fantasy with another. Otherwise I would just let it go.

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RE: sub's Fantasy; Dom's Limit - 8/17/2008 6:41:48 AM

VioletAshes

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/16/2008
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I think in any relationship that communication and compromise are key. My husband (who is dom) and I have previously discussed my rape fantasy at length and we both agreed that while it is a wonderfully powerful fantasy, in reality it would be dangerous and possibly destructive. So we make the compromise of acting out the rape fantasy within certain limits that satisfy his need to dominate and my need to be dominated. Instead of being taken so violently and damaging to my health, the situation would require planning and also for me to know when it would happen. Afterall it is only a fantasy and due to physical limits the acting of it must be softened and compromised.

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"I'm not like other girls that you know
but I believe I'm worth coming home to"
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