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RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 6:28:08 AM   
shylittleheart


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		for myself i personally call all Sir and Ma'am when talking with someone i do not know out of respect for others. This is just from my up bringing as a child to give respect to others until they prove they do not deserve it. Is being from the South that bad? Nope dont think it is.

shy

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 6:30:51 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shylittleheart
Is being from the South that bad? Nope dont think it is.

Not to pick on Shy here, but what IS with southerners who constantly bring this up during the sir/maam discussion?

Yes, it's a cultural standard to say sir and maam to others. Big deal. Southerners are just as rude as anyone else.

In fact because its a cultural standard means that it generally means LESS to them than someone who had to learn it or be trained into it and inculcate its values as an adult. It's not just a norm that they accepted and hardly even think about.

(in reply to shylittleheart)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 6:54:05 AM   
missdriver


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		I know i might sound rude calling them fakes or wannabes but it is not meant that way. I am new to this scene but i didnt expect someone to ask me to call them Sir straight away. I expected someone to talk to me, even just to ask how i am, not ask me questions about my sex life on the first email.

I have wanted to submit to someone for a long time and i believe my first time should be with someone i trust and respect and not be pushed into it.

Could someone give some advice on this so i dont call any true Doms wannabes

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 6:57:37 AM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirBurd

I agree with gina. I call people "Sir" even though I am a Dom, at times, and liek when a submissive calls me "sir" as a title of respect, as I would call someone "Ms." or such.



Allright, on an English forum I can understand using Sir simply for every male person, but to me it sounds too much like an honorific. I always follow people their own spelling (upper case/lower case and such), but what I really dislike is people incorporating their honorific in their scene name (I see that in my own country quite often too). That way, I feel kinda pressed into using it, and I will not. So most likely, I would address you as Burd (or Mr. - Mister - Burd if I wanted to be really polite).

Why do people integrate honorifics in their nicks?

Roel

(in reply to SirBurd)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 7:05:27 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missdriver
Could someone give some advice on this so i dont call any true Doms wannabes


Recognize that your definition of true is own. Anyone you call a wannabe will be considered true by someone else.

Likewise, anyone you call "true" will be called a wannabe by someone else.

Therefore, don't get so wrapped up in deciding what is true and what is not, because it's completely person dependent anyway. Just decide what works best for you.

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 7:36:33 AM   
shylittleheart


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Its ok I agree there are some southerners who are just rude and nasty people. What some refer to as Rednecks where I am from. My use of Sir and Ma'am comes from 11 years of Catholic School, yes I dealt with nuns most my life and learned to love those rulers and paddles. I will show anyone respect until the PROVE they do not deserve it.

shy

< Message edited by shylittleheart -- 11/21/2005 7:37:02 AM >

(in reply to shylittleheart)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 8:08:24 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		Shylittleheart... I commend you on staying true to yourself..... I see nothing wrong with calling people Sir or Ma'am until they prove not to deserve it.

I also am a southerner and the granddaughter of 2 ministers. So saying Sir and Ma'am is like breathing ....( I have been guilty of saying Yes or nNo Sir to my grown sons on occasion ..LOL) .... BUt I do not pretend that all southerners are polite and no one here is ever rude!

I will also say that what is a " true" dominant or submissive to one is a wannabe to another .. so keep and open mind and feel free <EG> to call them that in your mind.

Just my 2 cents worth.....


(in reply to shylittleheart)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 10:58:33 AM   
Dracironsgirl


Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missdriver

I am new to this scene, can anyone tell me how long it should it be before a sub calls a Dom Sir or Master


wow i always call a Dom by the name of Sir as a sign of Respect to Them, what a good question, thank you.

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 8:41:20 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I'd like to also add, that even then it's not necessarily the honorific. I call Master "Daddy" rather than "Sir".


And I call mine both :)



(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 1:08:55 AM   
SirButchTX


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		From this Doms perspective, this is a protocol question. I believe in common courtesy as the proper protocol for first meetings/emails/whatever. For one to demand that you use an honorific right up front would throw up warning signs to me. As a general rule, I will refer to people as I was introduced to them. If someone is introduced as SirSnob or MasterBaiter, I will refer to them as SirSnob and MasterBaiter..until such time as they have given me reason to not do so. At an early stage in my public scene, I requested that everyone address me by my "street" name with no honorific because I smiply didn't feel I had earned a "sir" and definitely had not earned a "master" from anyone. I have since changed my sig line and online screen names to reflect the honorific after my Mentor introduced me to a group of his closest friends as Sir. I figured that at that point, I had earned that honorific at the very least from a man whom I respect deeply. Very likely the only man alive I would bow to.

SirButchTX

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 7:20:09 AM   
Webmaster60


Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am new to this scene, can anyone tell me how long it should it be before a sub calls a Dom Sir or Master


If, when meeting someone he demands to be called Sir or Master, run away, very quickly.

now I'm a Master, (Iron Bear says it best) what is it.. I'm a Master, I may not be YOUR Master..

Now some girls (Mostly Gorean) will address me as such out of who THEY are, not so much as who I am.. I feel like a slave should always be respectful.. Even if someone is an ass. It should not change who SHE is..

Kind of like my father told me.. "Always hold the door for a lady son, even if she's a whore. Not because she's a lady, but because you're a gentleman".

To answer your question? You call one such a thing when YOU feel they ARE such a thing.


_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 8:38:13 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
For me it's when I feel comfortable doing it.
Some Dom's I address as Sir (so n so) from the day I've been introduced to them, others I wait to call Sir till we play together, still others I don't call Sir as they don't like it.
As far as calling someone Master, that is reserved for those people I respect enough to feel like they've Mastered their craft at being a good Dom.

I think as far as the one who says it or the one it's said in reference to it's a personal choice that's not universal.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 9:43:58 AM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missdriver

I am new to this scene, can anyone tell me how long it should it be before a sub calls a Dom Sir or Master


Told my slave she can call me Master when she truely believes deep down, that I do own her, body and soul. Until that time she can use sir which for me is just a sign of respect. Today she calls me Master.....

< Message edited by WickedKev -- 11/22/2005 9:44:57 AM >

_____________________________

Those who can make you believe absurdities
can make you commit atrocities.
—Voltaire

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong
—Voltaire

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 12:05:02 PM   
missdriver


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your comments.

I have been talking to a Dom and he insisted i call him Master on the first night i spoke to him. I didnt know what i should do so i did call him master although it didnt feel right. After reading the memos on here, i realised i was jumping in at the deep end.

I have wanted to submit to someone for a long time. I am only interested in submitting to one person and i want to make sure that it is the right one.

I told him my concerns and asked if we could take things a bit slower. I thought he would be understanding because i am new to this but i did not expect the reply i got. He got very angry with me. He said i was childish. He was the Master and he would determine the pace and how he dealt with my doubts. My place was on my knees. He wouldnt listen to anything i said and told me we should part company. I had insulted him.

I know i shouldnt have jumped straight in, i should have insisted on getting to know him first. Perhaps i am acting imature and the yearning i have had inside me is real and maybe he is right and i am not a true sub.

Can you give me any advice on this, even if it is to tell me i am being childish or to give up on this because i am not a true sub



(in reply to Webmaster60)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 12:10:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missdriver
I know i shouldnt have jumped straight in, i should have insisted on getting to know him first. Perhaps i am acting imature and the yearning i have had inside me is real and maybe he is right and i am not a true sub.

Can you give me any advice on this, even if it is to tell me i am being childish or to give up on this because i am not a true sub

Dorks will say anything they can to take advantage of you, to make you doubt yourself so that they can get what they want.

You know what's right and what's wrong. Now listen to it.

Don't let your sub frenzy haze/need to please get in the way of doing what's best for yourself.

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 12:26:12 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		A most interesting topic, in my opinion. I say that when speaking to a potential Dominant, you should ask if they even like being called Sir or Master, because for me, it's a turn-off. I personally don't like titles very much. For those that feel that is a title to bestowed upon someone once they achieve a certain level of respect and trust, then that's great, however, and should certainly be encouraged.

Anyone that demands that you call them Master or Sir immediately though, IMHO, is disrespectful, because neither of you know each other from a hole in the wall.


--Anopheles

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 12:32:20 PM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anopheles

A most interesting topic, in my opinion. I say that when speaking to a potential Dominant, you should ask if they even like being called Sir or Master, because for me, it's a turn-off. I personally don't like titles very much.


Same here. I don't appreciate being addressed as a Dominant/Top by people I don't even know. Likewise, I will not address anyone else as a Dom (or sub for that matter), but Dom and sub alike, as human beings, with all politeness, but without honorifics.

Roel

(in reply to anopheles)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 1:36:27 PM   
Webmaster60


Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

He said i was childish. He was the Master and he would determine the pace and how he dealt with my doubts. My place was on my knees. He wouldnt listen to anything i said and told me we should part company. I had insulted him.


This person is dangerous, and in NO way should be taken seriously.. I can see that kind of behavior in an established relationship but not with a newbie.. THis is one that would not respect limits or boundaries with a new person.

quote:

I know i shouldnt have jumped straight in, I should have insisted on getting to know him first.


Correct. You have to be VERY safe and move cautiously with someone who is not established.

quote:

Perhaps i am acting imature and the yearning i have had inside me is real and maybe he is right and i am not a true sub.


No.. You feel what you feel... Don't let this asshole cause you to change your self image or doubt what you're seeking. That wasn't about you, it was about him.. HE has the issues, not you.



_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Sir - 11/22/2005 1:47:47 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		To each their own.....agreed.

I called my Dad "Sir", I don't want to be called that.
I loved "Sir Lancelot", but I'm not a knight.
The song "To Sir with Love", was nice, but I hated all my teachers.

So, if you were to call me "Sir", I'd be looking behind me to see who the hell you were addressing.

Now, If you said "Lord and Master of my Universe and everyone else's", Well, then I'd say "What?"

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Sir - 11/23/2005 5:50:29 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Webmaster60

If, when meeting someone he demands to be called Sir or Master, run away, very quickly.

now I'm a Master


I'm just curious as to what makes you a Master. Is it:

1. Because you "feel" like a Master?

2. Because you have demonstrated some real time proficiency and had the title bestowed upon you by a real time group in recognition of that proficiency?

3. Because you have demonstrated some online proficiency and had the title bestowed upon you by an online group in recognition of that proficiency?

4. Because you identify yourself as Gorean, and all male Dominants in Gor are referred to as "Master" regardless of their proficiency at anything?

5. What separates you from those that ask to be called "Sir" or "Master" and, by your own assertion, should be avoided? Is it simply that you identify as a "Master", sign your emails and posts as a "Master", but don't require others to actually call you "Master"?

This is a serious inquiry, and I'm certain that the reply will be illuminating. I thank you in advance.

John

< Message edited by Rover -- 11/23/2005 5:51:44 AM >

(in reply to Webmaster60)
Profile   Post #: 40
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