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RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 5:59:34 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		When did a sadist become a person without self control?  When did onej term come to encompass all that a person is?  I don't understand the point, unless it is to insult every sadist on this forum.

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RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 6:06:59 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Yes a sadist can be a 'normal human being' too.  Just because you are Gorean, does that mean you nadu at every possibility?
 
Honestly, I cannot see why you are leading this man along.  Your profile does it(it doesn;t match what you write here).  And you are doing it.  If you are both wanting to meet for simple friendship, why are you even concerned about whether he is a sadist or not?  The only reason you would be worried is if you are contemplating play - which is what your post is screaming out.
 
Yes a sadist can have self control, just like anyone.  Your question(and other posts) makes me believe that you don't.
 
the.dark.

Well said

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RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 6:14:52 AM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

3. Can they teach that technique to all parties who play with Softness so she can stop ruining her make up with all the screaming and sobbing?


You could just not wear make up... Or do you wear it specifically to be ruined.  That would be really sweet of you.  You are actually saying you do not like the pain softness?  I had a completely different impression of you.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 6:19:23 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Yes a sadist can be a 'normal human being' too.  Just because you are Gorean, does that mean you nadu at every possibility?
 
Honestly, I cannot see why you are leading this man along.  Your profile does it(it doesn;t match what you write here).  And you are doing it.  If you are both wanting to meet for simple friendship, why are you even concerned about whether he is a sadist or not?  The only reason you would be worried is if you are contemplating play - which is what your post is screaming out.
 
Yes a sadist can have self control, just like anyone.  Your question(and other posts) makes me believe that you don't.
 
the.dark.

Well said


I'm thirding this
 
Just to add a few things though.
You two sound so ill matched i don't really know why you are even bothering.
Sadists claim to be sadists in their profiles? Not true all round.
And just as an aside a damn good sadist is hard to find so stop hoging them if you are not into pain lol.  
 

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 6:22:27 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

Greetings All
 
I have a weird question.  I have been talking to a Dom he knows upfront i am not willing to be his slave he just wants someone to talk to and maybe occassionally meet says widowed.  i have tenatively agreed to until I find a Gorean master and get collared.  In our first on-line chat today he let me know he is actually a sadist.  I am not into pain at all.  Usually it states in their profile they are a sadist.  I have in mine I DO NOT like pain.  He says he is capable of holding that part in when and if we meet i do not think so but have no experience in that part as Gorean's do not do kink except some bondage and a little whipping. 
 
So can a sadist play and not inflict pain or think they are not inflicting pain when they really are?
 
Thank you all for your input.  Why don't they read the profiles?
 
patina




Yup, I do it all the time. The ways that I like to express my sadistic streak are not universally popular (ok, so they're not even -close-), so we have many folks who come to serve or play and with whom I don't express my sadistic desires. Of course, I love the special pets on whom I -can-... but I am a reasoning creature, and just because I -want- to do something doesn't necessarily mean that I -will- do so.

My advice, though -- meet to play at a public club or event, at least at first -- it's harder to extricate oneself from a private session if things go ass-up.

Calla Firestorm


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(in reply to patina)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 6:22:32 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		As everyone else has mentioned, it's not that a sadist can't have self control.  It's not like I'm compelled to beat every person I come across.  Of course, there are those I run across every once in a while that I'd like to, just for fun.  Unfortunately, they aren't exactly folks who have consented to such things.  Sometimes, it's just fun little thoughts for the person who cut Me off in traffic, or ticked Me off a bit at work.  See there.  Not only can sadists have self control, but they can also have a sense of humor, too.

The better question is, how long will the sadist be interested in you since you are obviously not a good match for at least one part of what he enjoys?  I can't speak for everyone but as a sadist, I can tell you that I want to scratch that itch every now and again.   That means, I'm primarily going to be more interested in a maso more than another type.  Sure, I can spend time with and enjoy the company of those who aren't.  Still, I know what fits Me and it's highly unlikely that I'm going to  settle for something less for long.  The reason I do what I do is because I enjoy it.  I'm not going to forgo that for very long when someone can't meet My needs.


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 7:21:22 AM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I have a veriety of kinks/sides, including being a sadist.  I'm perfectly capable of playing quite happily without engaging all of those sides, or even only engaging one of them.  It's not a matter of changing my spots, I'm still a sadist, it's a matter of picking a hat to wear that suits my partner and the situation.

In other news... I'm going to repeat the general befuddlement at "Goreans don't do kink" (all the ones I've met do) and wonder what your thinking is behind the relationship you have with him.

And, missterbation, I have an image now of rent-a-sadist.  Find a decent sadist and share him/her/it about all of the unfulfilled maso sides. 

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 7:24:51 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		look .. anyone interested in a freaking scary Sadist in the Bay Area .... Sir has no plans this weekend .. and seriously .. I haven't procured Him anything in a good long while, will be out on my ear at this rate!




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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 7:33:00 AM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		would that I were in the Bay Area...

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 7:39:08 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

So can a sadist play and not inflict pain or think they are not inflicting pain when they really are?
 


Yes and No..........  Some Sadists can play and not inflict pain........ I do this very easily.......  However, many seem to hold the idea that a Sadist can't do this....... and are rather shock when they see it happening.

No... because some Sadists do not control their desires... thier desires control them.

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(in reply to patina)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 7:45:50 AM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		A sadist must always control themself when they play. They have to have varying levels of control depending on the bottom. However, just because someone is a sadist doesn't mean that inflicting pain is the only enjoyment they can get out of a scene.

Does play have to be involved if you just plan on meeting and talking?
Maggi

(in reply to patina)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 8:10:19 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

So can a sadist play and not inflict pain or think they are not inflicting pain when they really are?


Hi - I'm Merc, and I'm a sadist...

You have a very narrow view of "pain". Are tears an indicator? If so, I can bring tears without touching you. Humiliation do the trick? Again, without a touch, or tools other than my words I can generate that type of pain. But would I? I can't tell by your profile or this post; it takes time to determine. I don't need pain, but I do need control. If you're not willing to give it then no - I wouldn't be interested; with or without physical pain.

I've said that as a sadist I don't shy away from pain sluts and masochists. Quite the contrary, I very much enjoy them! I'm in it for MY pleasure, derived at by generating pain of all types, as a function of my control. My question to you is, are you willing to give it?

Whether Gor or any dynamic, establishing who is in control is key. It needs to be absolute. You want it when it comes to accepting your definition of 'pain' as a condition of your service. You retain dominance, at least over that aspect. That's fine and I'm sure you'll find a compatible, complimentary partner.

As far as listing it on a profile, or reacting to reading a profile; perspective makes most verbiage useless. Better to be vague and get to the point of face to face meeting to accomplish any understanding. Profiles are marketing; and rarely include 'free samples' representing the reality you'll get experience when you meet.

Good Luck! Have Fun!

(in reply to patina)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 10:03:45 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

Greetings All
 
I have a weird question.  I have been talking to a Dom he knows upfront i am not willing to be his slave he just wants someone to talk to and maybe occassionally meet says widowed.  i have tenatively agreed to until I find a Gorean master and get collared.  In our first on-line chat today he let me know he is actually a sadist.  I am not into pain at all.  Usually it states in their profile they are a sadist.  I have in mine I DO NOT like pain.  He says he is capable of holding that part in when and if we meet i do not think so but have no experience in that part as Gorean's do not do kink except some bondage and a little whipping. 
 
So can a sadist play and not inflict pain or think they are not inflicting pain when they really are?
 
Thank you all for your input.  Why don't they read the profiles?
 
patina




First off... If you aren't interrested in being with a Sadist then why keep talking with him? Say thanks but no thanks

Secondly.. Why would you want a perfectly good sadist to stop being a sadist?? Heck I'm desperately trying to enhance my Master's sadistic side and we're looking for people to help teach him how to be sadistic safely (as much as you can be)

Thirdly... If you think Goreans can't be sadistic you are very very sadly misinformed. I could introduce you to a couple very sadisitic Gorean Masters. So good luck with the assumption they only like to do a little bondage and whipping.

And I'll re-iterate here. If you are NOT interested in being with a Sadist then don't be. Go find someone suited to your desires and needs and let him do the same.

There is nothing wrong with remaining single until you find someone that matches your interests.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 10:49:09 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		When there are so many masos out there,I would wonder why he would compromise.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 10:53:24 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

When there are so many masos out there,I would wonder why he would compromise.



are there though? .... full on, no shit masochists?



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veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 10:57:01 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Depends a lot on the skills and mindset of the tops.

The ones patient enough-and creative enough to get into your head and twist and tweak you to suit seem to have the best time. Which is why a Dominant sadist tends to have more influence than a "service top"-who just "goes with the flow".

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 11:48:19 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

Two questions and I know already they probably should go to a brand new thread:

1. When did Goreans stop "doing kink" except some bondage and little whipping?

2. What whipping techniques do Goreans use which produce absolutely no pain?



3. Can they teach that technique to all parties who play with Softness so she can stop ruining her make up with all the screaming and sobbing?


But why would they want to?  I would imagine you look adorable while screaming and sobbing...

I am a sadist.  I freely admit it and revel in it.  Emotional sadism accomplished through humiliation and mindfucks or physical sadism accomplished through crops and clamps and belts and etc., turns me on.  Like Merc, I don't shy away from pain sluts and masos just because they also happen to like pain and a "true" sadist should only enjoy it when their partner is not (R. M. E.).  Nor do I shy away from those who only enjoy the majority of what I do and go along with the rest to please me and please an aspect of their submission.
What I do shy away from ARE those who don't truly enjoy it but who will go through ANYTHING I want them to, just to show devotion/submission/love.  Call me kinky but that really doesn't do it for me.   Which leads me to this...as so many others have said to you patina, why are you interested in dealing with this gentleman if you want him to always suppress his sadistic side?  Unless you have projected into the future and would have no problem with him expressing it fully with others as long as it is not you?


< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 8/14/2008 12:02:14 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 11:52:08 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

Two questions and I know already they probably should go to a brand new thread:

1. When did Goreans stop "doing kink" except some bondage and little whipping?

2. What whipping techniques do Goreans use which produce absolutely no pain?



3. Can they teach that technique to all parties who play with Softness so she can stop ruining her make up with all the screaming and sobbing?


But why would they want to?  I would imagine you look adorable while screaming and sobbing...



must be a guy thing .. I think I look far cuter with make up and hair in place ...

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 12:04:20 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

Two questions and I know already they probably should go to a brand new thread:

1. When did Goreans stop "doing kink" except some bondage and little whipping?

2. What whipping techniques do Goreans use which produce absolutely no pain?



3. Can they teach that technique to all parties who play with Softness so she can stop ruining her make up with all the screaming and sobbing?


But why would they want to?  I would imagine you look adorable while screaming and sobbing...



must be a guy thing .. I think I look far cuter with make up and hair in place ...


I didn't say that you wouldn't look cuter with make-up and hair in place...but there is just something more adorable/inviting/sexy about the screaming, sobbing submissive...especially when you throw quivering lips and quaking body in there.  Whoooooooooo hooooooooooo!!!!

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: can a sadist change his spots - 8/14/2008 2:30:42 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

When there are so many masos out there,I would wonder why he would compromise.



are there though? .... full on, no shit masochists?




What do you consider a full on, no shit masochist??

Who's classification is right?

I classify myself as a sensualist, other's classify me as a masochist.

A debate like that could turn into a hell of a war.  I mean I don't give a darn if someone says I'm a masochist, or if someone says I'm a wussosist. But some people really get uptight if they think you are telling them they aren't something they believe they are.


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It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 40
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