RE: Slave with a dominant personality

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/16/2008 9:22:19 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist
I think a lot of wannabe "owned" out there set the bar higher than they could possibly jump themselves. Comes from pride-they cannot submit to someone they even see as an equal.

Giving an equal opportunity to all, one could say the same about some dominants.

The bar I set for myself is very high. The bar a dominant might set for me must be equally as high, if not higher. If a dominant can not envision such a high bar as a reality, he/she can not successfully a submissive with that high a bar.

I don't call them "wannabe's" though, just mismatched. And sometimes people want to climb higher than they are capable. I'm not sure I've met someone who hasn't been there at some point in their lives.

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/16/2008 9:26:24 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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Having realistic expectations does not mean that you cannot aspire for more.

But those who insist on "superman" seem to be the ultimate in emotional masochism to me.

He only hangs out with Lois.

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/16/2008 10:10:23 AM

sillyslaveboy

Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
Sometimes I meet people who are just oozing with strength and power - it practically comes out of their pours.

That is it. ;) Seeking out a match.

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/16/2008 10:30:10 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

So you think a masochist that is manipulating their dominant is submissive?

Look, many subs say they are submissive because of the sense of power they feel they have over their dominant (similar to the view held by any strippers).

When you start manipulating the top, that's dominance.

Who said that masochism is equivalent to submission?

Who said that topping equates to dominanting?

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/16/2008 12:59:47 PM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

There is a popular acronym:

SAM

= Smart Assed Masochist.

It means a masochist that is dominant.

Who said anything about being a smart ass or mouthy to their Dominant?

quote:

Original: Leatherist

And they like to be in control of the Dominant-yup.

Again, who said anything about controling their Dominant??

Truly having difficulty seeing what promoted these opinions.

Just because a person is assertive/dominant in day to day life and/or interactions with other people or in business settings in no way diminishes their ability to submit or serve a Dominant.

Perhaps it is the belief of some that a sub/slave IS a doormat to the world. Thankfully the One i serve doesn't share that view and values me FOR those traits!

oops, being assertive here.............. bad bad slave!

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/16/2008 1:03:17 PM

curvyslavegirl

Posts: 134
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I have a VERY dominant overall personality but i also am unwaveringly dedicated when i am in service to someone else.
In my experience it makes me alot more desirable as a long term partner because when things are tough, I am easily able to step up and take charge (e.g. sickness, family strife, etc)
Many dominants have jobs, friendships or other interactions where they are not the "dominant" of the interaction.
That doesn't suddenly make them less domly. Multifaceted people will always have varied levels of along the dom-sub continuum as they go through their day.

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/18/2008 8:26:18 AM

freyjasdottir

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
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My friends who know about me always had me pegged as a Domme before knowing the truth, I have a very over powering force of will when needed. I have people across the country calling me a bitch and such because at my last job I had to be one to get my work done and I did my job very well. However, to the right Dom I can completely melt. My personality is why I've been able to start over from nothing three times with the people I'm responsible for never lacking what is needed.

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/19/2008 11:23:21 AM

Plumpinthefatty

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/11/2008
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I've gotten many messages in the past from dominants that mainly say I am too dominant to be submissive, I don't believe in giving my submission just to anyone especially with how much I tend to submit. Although I enjoy quite a bit of humiliation, I don't believe in giving just anyone what my submission is,being somewhat of a romantic, I also consider it very similar as giving my heart only to the one I trust enough to give it. Its the same way with my submission. In my Vanilla life, I tend to be quite independent and free spirited, with my submission, once in a secure relationship I give as much as I can. I wish that many would get to know one before they come to judge one;)

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/19/2008 11:44:03 AM

Gwynsbitchboi

Posts: 151
Joined: 11/3/2007
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it's all about balance

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/19/2008 2:08:40 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
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You know...life has made me a strong person who knows what I want and do whatever it takes to get there. I have learned to be direct, organized, and a hard worker. The adult in me has to be in controle of evey aspect of my life, so that I can get everything I need to.

The little girl in me just wants to cuddle, and the lover in me wants to be reminded this is one area I have no controle.

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/19/2008 3:08:50 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Personality is in no way connected to orientation- all personality types can be found in all orientations. The quicker people recognize that reality, the less confused, frustrated and upset they will be.

well, not all believe that "submissive" is an orientation (or "dominant" for that matter). my Master and i for instance believe that being dominant or submissive is very much about personality...when Daddy uses the phrase "a submissive," he is referring to someone with a submissive nature, not someone who has made a conscious choice to submit in a particular relationship or situation.

but as far as the idea of a slave with a dominant personality, there is no conflict there because slave is indeed an orientation..or maybe more accurately, a status. one need not be submissive to be a slave any more than one needs to be blonde in order to be a nurse. if one is owned, if one is under the control and will of another, then they are a slave. submissive or not doesn't really have anything to do with slave status.

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/24/2008 6:54:03 AM

HardnRuff

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Joined: 3/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit
There is a popular acronym:

SAM

= Smart Assed Masochist.

It means a masochist that is dominant.

I've never heard it equated to that. To me it's a masochist who isn't submissive, or at least in a scene will often make smart assed remarks for attention and to raise the intensity of the scene.

Not being submissive does not equate to being dominant, and masochism has nothing to do with dominance or submission.

Well said..... LA

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/24/2008 7:08:01 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC

You know...life has made me a strong person

This bit stuck out to me in that i dont think strength and dominance is the same thing. Being together and sorted, confident and self assured isnt the same as having a dominant personality, neither is having opinions and speaking them. I also dont think that control means having a dominant personality. its something differant.

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RE: Slave with a dominant personality - 8/24/2008 1:17:20 PM

Ellsa

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Joined: 6/16/2007
From: minnesota
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I have always been submissive, always acquiesced to my partner. This changed one day long ago when I was put in a position where I had to defend my son and myself against an angry ex-husband. No, there were not firearms involved, but close to it. The day had come where I had to make a stand and I forced myself to do it even though I was terrified. Since then I have had many situations where I have had to be dominant or aggressive. It is still hard to do sometimes, and I still have to force myself sometimes. My personality is assertive, not aggressive or dominant. As a single parent my career and life require me to be dominant, even aggressive sometimes.

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Post #: 34