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How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 10:08:16 AM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		Feel free to add rules here.

1.   Understand your goals.  If you don't know what you are looking for, the only thing you should look for is new experiences.   Hopefully you will find what you desire by exploring new things.

2.  Describe what you want.  Specifically use good descriptions. The words "True", "Real", "Natural" are NOT helpful.  They mean different things to different people.  Instead try words like "Pain", "Roleplayer", "Foot", "Breast", "Oral", "Obedient", "Disobedient", "Pee", etc. etc.   Be specific. 

3. Put in NON-sexual things.  Unless you are just looking for a one-night stand, chances are you want more than a sex toy.  

4. Rank your requirements.  If the thing you care most about is personality, put that first.  Do not forget to include things like "Employed",  "Not a convict", etc.  Note, the ranking is very important, particularly if you are looking for something that every else is looking for (Hint:  80% of men want a thin female.  90% of women want a tall man.)  The higher on the list the 'mass desired' thing is, the hard it will be to find a person that fits your other desires.

5. Describe yourself.   You need to honestly describe who you are.  You can highlight the advantages, but don't lie about the disadvantages.  Specifically tell the truth about weight, age, height, gender.   Putting down what you wish you were only works if you never meet the person.   Yes, many men will ignore you if you are the wrong age, weight, gender.  Yes, many women will ignore you if you are the wrong age, height, gender.   It is unfortunate, but we all can't be 18 year old, tall, thin lesbian millionaires.   No, surgery can not really fix it. (Fake breasts are nice to look at, but they don't feel nice.  Weight comes back.)

6.  Put yourself out there and look.  If you don't contact other people, you have no one but yourself to blame.  This specifically means that dominant women should be contacting men.  Honestly, a smart submissive women would do better to seek out and contact men as well, but they at least have a better excuse.  If you wait for other people to contact you, then THEIR requirements will be met, but your's won't. Not even if a thousand men are contacting you, because obviously they are not the right man.

7.  If still having trouble, REDO your requirements.  Specifically, if you are repeating rejecting people for being too much of a  jerk, then move "NOT A JERK" higher on your list of requirements.  This means moving other things down.  As in, accept a woman/man that is uglier, shorter, older, fatter, etc.


< Message edited by StrongSpirit -- 8/16/2008 10:12:49 AM >
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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 10:13:08 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I never looked for the perfect master.  That would be a pointless objective.  I desired to be with a person who was willing to grow with me, as well as despite me.
 
Confine yourself to set rules and you risk missing out on something unique and probably something you never realised you needed.  The only thing you need is common sense, if you have that, lists and rules have no baring.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 10:13:15 AM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		How about .. be flexible.  Be willing to relax your requirements is you click with someone.  Rely on your instincts about a person as to whether you are compatible - be willing to chuck the list to discover if something that feels really right is right for you. 

Understanding your goals can be very difficult when starting out.  Lots of newbies don't have a clue what it is they're looking for, without the physical experiences and without talking with a lot of people, doms/subs/switches, etc.  Reading and researching can fill in some of the gaps, but little is a stand-in for RT experience.

I also agree with the.dark here - the word 'perfect' doesn't sit well with me.  Perfection is highly overrated and boring to boot. 


< Message edited by NeedingMore220 -- 8/16/2008 10:15:27 AM >

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 10:14:45 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		8. stop looking - looking never works.


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 11:31:52 AM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		step one - find domme step two interact with her , step three  it moves forward  or repeat step one . ^5 faery is better to be the one  found than to be lost in a search . 

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 11:58:08 AM   
mztresn0w


Posts: 174
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		Why look for perfection? There are so many jewels in the rough that just need the right person to help them become the best they can be. That applies to both sides. As for myself, I havve found that when you stop looking someone walks into your life that was meant to be there. 

_____________________________

Becareful what you ask for you may get it and then realize it wasn't what you wanted.
Wicked Evil Grin

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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 12:07:51 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Think outside the box, even your own.  Be positive, gaining personal strength in knowing who you are and living true to that and never accept anything that prevents living true to who you are.  Look for the fun in life, without denying the more serious.  Don't be afraid to break rules.

(in reply to mztresn0w)
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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 1:22:58 PM   
Thadius


Posts: 5091
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline 		9. Remember to use the right bait for the trap... chocolate and cheesecake help when hunting the female types..

_____________________________

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 1:40:41 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		Recognize, there are different views and there may be valid reasons for those views. Be open minded enough to listen.

Listen to your heart and mind more than your hormones, no matter how loud they scream.

Be prepared to be challenged intellectually.

If a person cannot intellectually challenge you decide how important it is.

A dominant is not always perfect. Accept that before you begin looking.

If you are a dominant... Be a leader. Accept that you have faults and admit them to yourself, change them as you can.

My thought on 'perfect': Perfection will never be achieved, the desire to achieve it should never be abandoned, the perfect person will have flaws and you should embrace them as an artist embraces a blank canvas. While your canvas may present challenges it should not be TRYING to challenge you.

Dolf.

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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 2:29:34 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		#. Describe what you have to offer or can bring to the table.

#. Follow through when you make an online connection that is about to turn into a first r/l meeting.


_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 2:37:45 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		no such thing as perfection ,you can come close . besides that i would not wish to wait to see if perfection is ever found , better  luck  finding a yetti VS perfection .


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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 2:51:06 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

chocolate and cheesecake


wrong...

chocolate
pizza
diet pepsi
diamonds
gold
wear leather



_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to Thadius)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 3:10:52 PM   
pyrobabe


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		There is always perfectly fine. Your imperfections make you perfect. If you didn't have them you'd be somebody else... and what fun would that be?

Also most well trained slaves are a reflection of their Master/Mistress so it stands to reason if they have a perfect Master/Mistress they are a perfect slave.

(in reply to azropedntied)
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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 3:42:21 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		1. The biggest single barrier preventing you from success and happiness in relationships is desire for perfection.

2. Relationships aren't covered in insurance policies or come with money back guarantees for a reason.

3. Don't be a slave to your heart. Love invites, enslavement to the heart begs.

4. You cannot find love. All you can find is the opportunity to love, love is what develops afterwards.

5. Kindness comes before kink in both the dictionary and the relationship.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 4:02:23 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thadius

9. Remember to use the right bait for the trap... chocolate and cheesecake help when hunting the female types..


unless the female doesnt LIKE chocolate... then find a suitable substitute (motorcycles or beer work for me, for instance..LOL)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Thadius)
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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 4:05:21 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Stella.. as always... YOU ROCK!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 4:16:18 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Throw down the pedestals and the doctrine of infallibility and the immaculate Dom/me perfection.  Remember that you are fallible, flawed human beings first and foremost.  Have an awareness both of humility and a sense of humor about yourselves.  Be willing and able to admit mistakes, ask forgiveness and to right your wrongs. 
Go from talking the talk to walking the walk.


Aerosmith - Run/DMC
"Walk this Way"
 
"So I took a big chance at the high school dance
With a missy who was ready to play
Was it me she was foolin
cause she knew what she was doin
When she told me how to walk this way
She told me to

Walk this way, talk this way
Walk this way, walk this way
Walk this way, walk this way
Walk this way, talk this way
Just give me a kiss - like this!"


(grammar edit)

< Message edited by Vendaval -- 8/16/2008 4:17:51 PM >

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 4:21:38 PM   
Thadius


Posts: 5091
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline 		Now, for a random zen moment.

The individual flaws are what make each of us perfect.  Just like a snowflake, or cherry blossom.

_____________________________

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 5:26:09 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Precisely, Thadius.  Our flaws are what make us interesting, in a way, our flaws define and shape us. 
I am accutely aware that flaws present challenges and obstacles to overcome, whether in myself or others.  

(Now if someone keeps hiding the remote or stealing the covers or snoring too loud...the "overcoming" of certain "imperfections" can well be adjusted with a bit of discipline.  My house, my rules, no negotiation! )


quote:

ORIGINAL: Thadius

Now, for a random zen moment.

The individual flaws are what make each of us perfect.  Just like a snowflake, or cherry blossom.


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Thadius)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to find the perfect master, sub, switch - 8/16/2008 6:12:58 PM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Sometimes, the perfect one for you is found by chance.  It's not always search and send, wait for a reply, then repeat.  You never know who you may find quite accidentally, so never casually cast away anyone that you find an interest in, even if on the surface, you don't think you would be a match. Take a chance, you may find they are the perfect one.

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 20
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