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RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 11:26:15 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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My issue with physical sex is that I don't often want it... when I do, I do... but that isn't nearly as often as most of the men I've encountered expect to be entertained. Or perhaps it is more that what I consider 'sexual', other people don't see that way (more on that later). One reason that I'm looking for a boy for our household that my Darling truly -likes- and is attracted to is because I want her to have that sexual outlet that I don't even provide for -her-. Not that she wants it all the time -- but when she does, it seems a shame to me that she doesn't have someone she 'clicks' with to share that with her.

I also don't necessarily link the BDSM aspects of my life with 'sex'... in the same way that I don't require all of the servants in our household to spill blood for me, I wouldn't expect that I would have sex with all of them, either.

I also don't associate sex with "love" (affection, etc.) I have been in a number of loving, affectionate, physical relationships where we didn't have sex. If I were inclined to casual sex, I wouldn't necessarily need to have an emotional connection to justify my physical attraction.

My Darling says that my sexual neutrality is because, when I became a priest on my spiritual path (with three years of celibacy meant to re-direct our sexual expression into spiritual focus), I truly -did- transmute the physical sexuality into something else -- an energetic intensity that is expressed in a number of other ways. To me, piercing someone or cutting them and sharing a bond through steel, flame, flesh, and blood is as intimate and erotic as any sex play I've ever encountered. So is sitting and having an intensely deep philosophical discussion. So perhaps, for me, the apparent lack of the interest in the act of sexual intercourse is because my biggest erogenous zones are my spirit and energy. *shrugs*

Calla Firestorm


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to SmartQuietMan)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 11:36:41 AM   
SmartQuietMan


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
Replies to multiple messages follow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
To the OP, one of the additional reasons along with those RP already gave is the fact that some of us don't want our D/s dynamics based on sexual overtones.  When a person submits to Me, I want to know that submission is not especially based in something as easily swayed as lust.  That's not what it is for Me.  I want a better reason for someone wanting to submit than what's between their legs, or Mine for that matter.   There are better places for one to find their submissive desires than the genitals.

The reason for submission should absolutely not be the genitals.  If that were the case I would probably have found someone long ago, because there are lots of female genitals out there.  Intelligent women who are worthy of my respect, not so much.  Being submissive is not driven by my sex drive.  I was in a LTR 24/7 D/s relationship that did not involve any sex at all.  For the most part that was a very positive experience, but sexuality is part of me and I prefer not to box it up in my mind and pretend it does not exist as part of future D/s relationships. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
It isn't really any of your business what other people do (or don't do) in their bedrooms as long as they aren't involving you in it.

What individual people do in their bedrooms is none of my business.  But there is nothing wrong with wanting to understand people and their motivations.  Actually, I think the world would be a much better place if people spent a little more time trying to understand others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
On the flip side - have you ever considered how many submissives think that they should never have sex with their PYL?  I've lost count of how many have said "no thanks" to us because they found out that I fully intend to have whatever kind of sex I want with our boy(s) because I want to.  Why aren't you asking them why they won't have sex at their PYL's desire?

Why am I not asking that?  Because I don't exactly have a lot of interaction with male submissives of that sort.  What does PYL mean?  I have no idea how often male submissives refuse to have sex with their dominants.  All I do know of that is most male submissives on sites looking for Dommes seem to be primarily motivated by sex.  I know this from taking to many women and having looked at a few profiles of male submissives.  So I would have expected the oposite actually.  I do appreciate the information though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
For me sex is always involved in my scenes because frankly whipping someone makes me horny. But that is just me. Of course the sex is done My way and when I want it because I'm the Boss.

Thanks for the alternative viewpoint.  I know one woman who is a switch that behaves like that.  Actually she was quite interested in me for a time, but she just didn't bring out the submissive in me so I wasn't interested. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
I never LOOK for sex with submissives. If it happens to work out to where I decide I do want it, then I make that decision later. Personally, I know I had stated fora long while that I did not allow it when I was still searching becasue it weededout the types, like the OP, who refuse to be in a situation where there was no sex involved. I have no desire to be with someone who makes sex a mandatory part of any relationship we are in. Vanilla or otherwise, sex should not be part of the job, required at intervals or everything is undone.

Thanks much for defining who I am.  So would you get married to a guy that strictly refused to ever have sex with you?  Does anyone consider that to be truly reasonable?  So why is this any different?  Male submissives are frequently made to believe it is wrong to want any form of sex as part of a D/s relationship.  Even Dommes I know and respect personally talk very derogitorily about male submissives wanting sex.  We are punished for even daring to state that we like it because, by doing so, many Dommes immediately disregard us as candidates.

I did not at any point specify that sex was to be regimented as part of a D/s relationship.  It should not be required or expected at any given point.  But it should also not be completely and arbitrarily withheld.  My issue stems from the potential for sex or not.  Dommes who express that there is no potential and never will be make me think they do not respect, appreciate nor truly like their submissives.  Because to draw such an arbitrary line in the sand seems odd.  Its sort of like saying I will never eat chicken on a Tuesday, ever.  If you feel like chicken and its Tuesday why not just eat it?  If you like sex, respect and like your submissive and you're in the mood why not use them sexually (or whatever)?

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan
For some of us, the two concepts or intrinsically entwined. Personally, I need a sexual aspect to a BDSM relationship because BDSM is a sexually gratifying activity.

Thanks for expressing your viewpoint.  That is exactly correct.  Part of my issue is why some (it seems many) Dommes insist on looking down on others who do not share their view.  Instead of just sayig, "Thanks but that's not my style" they feel the need to belittle and degrade men who like to have sex mixed in with their BDSM.

Personally I don't require a sexual aspect in BDSM, but I suspect I would strongly prefer it.  But to be honest I have yet to be able to find out, because I can't find a Domme willing to combine to two who I respect so I can even give it a try.  I'd like to explore this aspect and find out, but when I try and seek out someone to explore with I keep getting hit in the fact that male submissives should not want, need or expect sex from a Domme.  Ever.  Its disheatening.

Oh, and let me bring up the elephant in the room.  Bisexual Dommes frequently have no problem having sex with their female submissives.  I see that a LOT.  They won't touch a male submissive, but they are all over female submissives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
Actually, I much prefer sex with BDSM.  There really is a multitude of types out there; keep exploring.

Thanks.  I've been exploring for quite some time without any real luck.  I want to better understand this aspect so I can try and figure out why I have had no success.  I'm starting to wonder if its partially due to my local area.  The thought of picking up and moving somewhere like California has crossed my mind.  But I'm estabulished here with a great job, lots of friends and the like.  So its just frustrating.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 11:57:45 AM   
SmartQuietMan


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
To the op, you might want to establish a relationship before you get involved in things where you will feel used afterwards if you are used.  Know what you are getting into before you get into it.  Instead of explaining it to us or questioning it with us, do so with whoever you are involved with.  You have every right to post whatever and to ask things and to feel used or whatever, but you can hardly blame all femdom's for being the way you see them.  Some are like this; some are not.  It is your job to find that out before you are submissive to one if it is that important to you.

Thanks for the advice.  Typically, I do.  The situation I brought up was an unusual exception in many ways.

I very rarely get involved with Dommes because I'm rather selective and need to respect them as people first.  But the mere mention of sex or even anything hinting at it shuts a lot of Dommes down immediately.  Sometimes that alone is enough for them to look down on a male submissive.  This I find troubling.  It would be like if I thought a Domme was insecure and broken because I found out she likes to engage in strap on sex with guys.  It may not be something I'm into, but that does nt mean she's a bad person for liking it.

There are actually a lot of Dommes in my friend circle.  I realize not all Dommes are this way but, at least of those I know, many seem to be.  Maybe it is not like this elsewhere.  Maybe most Dommes who are involved in the community and like to play publicly tend to dislike combining sex.  Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.  I just don't know.  What I do know is that I've been keeping my eyes open and being open to possibilites for several years and have yet to get even close to finding what I'm looking for.  So when what you have tried fails, try something else.  Which is why I posted this.  By better understanding this I will hopefully be able to better seek what I am looking for in the future. 

Knowing that many Dommes who are open to sex say otherwise in their profiles is a very good piece of information to have which I did not know previously.  Though I have not figured out how to utilize that knowlege yet.  If I try to address that directly with them they are likely to dismiss me as one of the guys just trolling for kinky sex.  If I move forward without bringing it up until later then I've been deceptive and they are likely to get annoyed that I wasn't honest about what I was wanting.  Its a quagmire, how to be honest and ethical yet avoid getting classified as some dumb schmuch who only wants sex.

Frankly, its almost enough for me to give up on this whole thing.  Which would be sad becaue I am submissive and very much enjoy BDSM.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 12:04:36 PM   
Lockit


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Well, personally, I want sex with my bdsm.  I also want a relationship with it.  For me that is what makes it all that it is and can be.

(in reply to SmartQuietMan)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 12:18:19 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
SmartQuietMan,

I can only speak for myself so I'll express a few, probably not terribly well constructed thoughts.

I like to fuck.  Generally, I only fuck people with whom I share a monogamous relationship.  Being honest though, from time-to-time, during periods when I'm single, there have been a few, scant  occasions where I've fucked someone who isn't a romantic partner.  To me, romance, sex, BDSM, cerebral connection, and emotional connection are wonderful ingredients, and I can think of no more mouthwatering recipe than one that includes all of these.  Due to the fact I'm largely monogamous, I only consider romantic partners (dominas) who enjoy having sex with their submissives.

It's true that some dominas prefer not to have sex with submissives for various reasons (impact on power dynamics, other relationships they have with non-submissive partners, avoiding pregnancy, just a preference, etc.).  In my own experience, I've found the number of dominas not wishing intercourse isn't any different than women (or people, for that matter) in general.  As I've alluded above, there are various reasons why someone would make this choice.

In regard to your OP, the issue I see is one of compatibility.  Dominas who don't wish to engage in sex are not compatible with you.  It's good that you know this, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.  For example, writing "push off if you're not willing to have sex with me" isn't likely to increase your courtship chances (even if the dominant women reading actually do have sex with their submissives).

The situation with the dominant you met is frustrating.  Emotionally, I see where you're coming from and I've experienced this situation myself.  Still, I don't think this implies or supports any correlation that a great number of dominas are stone.  I fully understand what a letdown it is to feel initial chemistry leading to play and/or sex, and have this evaporate over the period between dates.  The way you've described the situation, I don't think this has anything to do with BDSM or with the fact that your partner happened to be a domina.  People try out play and/or sex all the time.  Sometimes the mood and connection happens to be there at that instant.  Other times, there is no particular connection, but both people are just plain horny.  It's hugely confusing when the connection is there for you, but not for the other person and yet that person decides to engage anyway.  This happens though and it's what I think happened on your date.  So the domina engaged, but she either changed her mind about your mutual compatibility, or decided, for other reasons, that she didn't want to start a sexual relationship with you.  This is why she was immediately cold next time around and it is also why no play or sex has come up again.  In vanilla dating, the same thing happens and as frustrating as this is, it just is.  I'm sorry this happened to you, however, the best thing you can do is move on and find someone who is compatible with you.  Please don't allow this failed courtship to jade your thinking about dominant women in general.

Elan.

(in reply to SmartQuietMan)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 12:19:10 PM   
Boondoggle


Posts: 123
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline
From your last couple of posts you seem bitter and a bit desperate because you're running out of patience. Those are two very unattractive qualities in anyone. I'm hoping that your frustration is just coming out more strongly online, as emotions are wont to do, and that you're not like this in person. I suspect it's the case as you otherwise seem reasonable and balanced in what you write.

That said, stop trying to force things. Having lots of patience is key, as is resisting the urge to view every Domina you encounter as 'potential.' Engage them as people and potential friends first and foremost. Your ad and some of what you write here seems to indicate that you're seeking a play partner and not a more ongoing and intimate relationship. If this is the case, it's very likely you're not going to find many women who want to include sex in the relationship because it is on a more casual level. If you are actually seeking a partner for more than just kinky exchanges, you need to alter the character of your approach.

Sex is intimate. For a lot of people, not just dominant women, for sex to feel satisfying, there has to be an intimate relationship surrounding it, and often of a different sort than M/s. For some, M/s itself needs to have that relationship framework to work well, also.

_____________________________

You see I'm not the kind of fella'
who can get off on vanilla.
No I need a little color in my sex.
--The Wet Spots

(in reply to SmartQuietMan)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 12:34:06 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SmartQuietMan
Oh, and let me bring up the elephant in the room. Bisexual Dommes frequently have no problem having sex with their female submissives. I see that a LOT. They won't touch a male submissive, but they are all over female submissives.


Just popping into the thread to say....

Wow! I think that's the first time I have ever heard a man complain about two women playing with each other. Don't get pouty and jealous over it- if they aren't interested, they aren't interested- and there's little you can do to change anything.




_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to SmartQuietMan)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 12:35:39 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
If people doing it want bdsm to be all about sex and nothing more, then it's their right to say that for *them* it's all about sex. for them, it's NOT two seperate things.

I don't know why so many people squack about what bdsm and kink is and isn't, and try to generalize it for every one, because you can never speak for every one, you can only speak for yourself, and perhaps any one you own or are in a relationship with.

For me kinky stuff  IS all about the sex/sexual  aspect, I couldn't give one rats ass about protocal or TPE or Master slave Or domme slave, or any of those catch frases. For me it's all about the sexual/sentual thrill of my partner beating me an spanking me an flogging me and damned strait I'm going to become aroused and damned strait I am going to be getting off during our activities. We might even fuck, and for us, that IS what we're doin it for. The sex aspect.
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

its not just dom's that disallow it...i dont allow sex...i dont even offer it.

the issue is that many in bdsm think bdsm is just sex and nothing else.  they dont realize the two are separate things.  the S in bdsm does not mean SEX.


(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 12:49:10 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline
all i have to say is thank gawd my mistress loves having sex  i knew i found the right one when we stopped using condoms about 6 years ago  and when she started playing with my ass 6 and a half years ago  a few innocent fingers up a guys ass and i was hooked  hook ..line and sinker ..lol ..then came the strapons ..then the bigger strapons and hey believe it or not it was her idea to start training me in the art of being anally fisted by a woman took her like 6 or 7 times but once she slid in i was hers and at her mercy  cant believe to this day how wet and turned on she gets by doing so the lady is amazing i must say as far as the women who say no to sex the power of the pussy strikes again ..without a yes from a woman a guys cock is not going anywhere she dont want it too go ..no smile there sorry we are getting together later this week ..gawd i cant wait ..have fun ..mal

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 12:49:13 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SmartQuietMan

Its a quagmire, how to be honest and ethical yet avoid getting classified as some dumb schmuch who only wants sex.

Frankly, its almost enough for me to give up on this whole thing.  Which would be sad becaue I am submissive and very much enjoy BDSM.


If I may make a suggestion -- get out and meet dominant women outside of online venues. I'm -much- more receptive to potential physical involvement that could include sex with someone I'm spending time with in person, whereas I may not even respond to a message intimating anything about sex that comes into my mailbox.

Calla Firestorm


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to SmartQuietMan)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 1:23:58 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
i say: people who do bdsm just for sex = kinksters.  there is no dynamic, no protocol, no master,  slave, mistress..its just sex.... ohhhh i tie up my partner to the bed posts im a bdsmer....i spanked my wife last night im a bdsmer...  no your not...your a kinkster.  kink = NOT BDSM. 

bdsm=relationship + dynamics (whether d/s m/s etc etc) + sex + bond that is very tight and requires lots of trust, communication, etc etc.  not just a quick fuck.



_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 1:55:53 PM   
TwoNYCDommes


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
If I may make a suggestion -- get out and meet dominant women outside of online venues. I'm -much- more receptive to potential physical involvement that could include sex with someone I'm spending time with in person, whereas I may not even respond to a message intimating anything about sex that comes into my mailbox.


Maybe this is the key.  When I read the OP, I was thinking how odd his perspective seemed to me.  While I know many people for whom BDSM and sex are completely separate things, I don't think I have never met anyone who has any sort of rule against ever combining them.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 2:11:45 PM   
SmartQuietMan


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Joined: 7/5/2004
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Thanks to everyone who has responded.

Please understand that I'm here seeking information and knowldge.  I am not trying to generalize.  I am not saying people are wrong for what they do or don't like.  I don't believe all Dommes are like this.  I am involved in my local community and have quite a few Dommes and otehr BDSMers as friends.  I think all of the most dominant women I know have the view that male submissives and sex never mix.  I know some female switches who combine them, but they all seem to tend towards the submissive side.  I am a little distrubed by how many of the dominant women I know and have seen on-line have this perspective.  So I'm trying to understand it better.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle
That said, stop trying to force things. Having lots of patience is key, as is resisting the urge to view every Domina you encounter as 'potential.' Engage them as people and potential friends first and foremost. Your ad and some of what you write here seems to indicate that you're seeking a play partner and not a more ongoing and intimate relationship. If this is the case, it's very likely you're not going to find many women who want to include sex in the relationship because it is on a more casual level. If you are actually seeking a partner for more than just kinky exchanges, you need to alter the character of your approach.

Thank you, very constructive regarding the ad and  relationship goals.  If you knew me you would know that I am very patient and do not believe in forcing things.  When I say play partner I mean on-going, non-monogamous LTR D/s relationship.  I prefer longer relationships and don't really like casual play / one night stands as a submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle
From your last couple of posts you seem bitter and a bit desperate because you're running out of patience. Those are two very unattractive qualities in anyone. I'm hoping that your frustration is just coming out more strongly online, as emotions are wont to do, and that you're not like this in person. I suspect it's the case as you otherwise seem reasonable and balanced in what you write.

A large part of the frustration stems from 2 things:

1) Not being able to adequately convey all the nuances and information regarding this issue through text to complete strangers.  I attempted to be reasonably thorough, but people will always interpret according to their own filters and experience.  But I still find it frustrating when I see people quoting me and implying things that simply are not true.

2) Dom/mes who look down on, have less respect for or otherwise think lessor of submissives irk me something terrible.  That has come up a few times during this thread and its a known hot button of mine.  I've tried to keep the lid on that as much as possible.

But, yes, I am also frustrated that my search has been fruitless.  I am not disparate but definately disappointed.

Regarding intimacy, being submissive is a very intimate thing for me.  I can't imagine anything more intimate than willing to be submissive to someone.  At least for me.

(in reply to Boondoggle)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 2:17:35 PM   
DianeB


Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline
I'm a Dominant female and I can pick and choose who I want to have sex with. I have subs that I spank, subs that I use for strapon play and subs that I have sex with (male and female)...


Diane

(in reply to SmartQuietMan)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 2:17:48 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
malloves69,

quote:

...and when she started playing with my ass 6 and a half years ago  a few innocent fingers up a guys ass and i was hooked  hook ..line and sinker ..lol ..then came the strapons ..then the bigger strapons and hey believe it or not it was her idea to start training me in the art of being anally fisted by a woman  took her like 6 or 7 times but once she slid in i was hers and at her mercy 


You were doing so well with self restraint in that *other* thread.  Perhaps Pavlovian reinforcement may help?

*smacks mal on the snout*

Bad dog.  BAD.  No anal play for you for the rest of the week.

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 8/18/2008 2:36:12 PM >

(in reply to malloves69)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 2:27:19 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
SmartQuietMan and DianeB,

quote:

DianeB:
I'm a Dominant female and I can pick and choose who I want to have sex with.  I have subs that I spank, subs that I use for strapon play and subs that I have sex with (male and female)...


I'm a submissive male and I choose who I have sex with.  This is very much a two-way street.  Now true enough, I'm an easy slut at times, but the key here is that I'm only this way with people whom I wish to be this way with.  Contrary to the literal, old-school meaning of the word slut, many who embrace their sluttish desires in our modern world are, none-the-less, very selective as to their partners.

Elan.

(in reply to DianeB)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 2:41:18 PM   
DianeB


Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

SmartQuietMan and DianeB,

quote:

DianeB:
I'm a Dominant female and I can pick and choose who I want to have sex with.  I have subs that I spank, subs that I use for strapon play and subs that I have sex with (male and female)...


I'm a submissive male and I choose who I have sex with.  This is very much a two-way street.  Now true enough, I'm an easy slut at times, but the key here is that I'm only this way with people whom I wish to be this way with.  Contrary to the literal, old-school meaning of the word slut, many who embrace their sluttish desires in our modern world are, none-the-less, very selective as to their partners.

Elan.




That's the way it should be.....


Diane

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 2:50:54 PM   
SageFemmexx


Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

i say: people who do bdsm just for sex = kinksters.  there is no dynamic, no protocol, no master,  slave, mistress..its just sex.... ohhhh i tie up my partner to the bed posts im a bdsmer....i spanked my wife last night im a bdsmer...  no your not...your a kinkster.  kink = NOT BDSM. 

bdsm=relationship + dynamics (whether d/s m/s etc etc) + sex + bond that is very tight and requires lots of trust, communication, etc etc.  not just a quick fuck.




Thank you so much for pointing that out. I am constantly contacted by male subs who want SEX. They list all the groups they've been running in and seem to be quite proud of their endless list of partners. Not once do they mention using protection or even being aware they would be risking ME by adding me to their list. They approach with their laundry list of demands and being fucked is at the top of the list.

I don't bother to answer these guys, I just click them.

Sage.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 3:32:07 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline
shes coming over wednesday sorry elan ..and yes there will be ass play  and no im not going to stop talking about it just to please you ..nice try .. by the way hi Ms S ..waving have fun everyone ..mal

(in reply to SageFemmexx)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why the strong penchant against sex? - 8/18/2008 3:57:32 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
PYL = pick your lable.  When capitalized, it = someone of the toppish/dominant persuasion, when not capitalized, it = someone of the bottom/subbish persuasion.

I do understand that the world would be better if people would try to understand each other, but 1- understanding their sexual preferences/habits is near impossible, particularly when there is so much variation and 2- it's kind of rude, intrusive, and obnoxious. 

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(in reply to malloves69)
Profile   Post #: 40
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