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I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 10:13:44 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Inspired by the recent threads regarding temper and anger, I offer the following:
 
“9½Weeks”
Kim Basinger & Mickey Rourke
 
“The Postman Always Rings Twice”
Jack Nicholson & Jessica Lange
 
“Mr. & Mrs. Smith”
Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
 
“A History of Violence”
Viggo Mortensen & Maria Bello
 
 
I may have been one of just a couple of posters on either thread who thinks anger/temper is okay. Many suggested it’s okay as long as it’s controlled. I understand that sentiment, which is why I have never hit my kids, but I also argue that the release of anger is as important and can be stimulating…leading to a mutually beneficial (~cough~) “outcome.” Does expressing anger, releasing temper necessarily mean a loss of control?
 
What’s your opinion? Angry/fight sex is hot? Dangerous? The best way to brawl? Sick and wrong? What do you think, and why?

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 10:23:51 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		There is no emotion that motivates me more than anger does. I always act on it, as i have learned from past experience that being passive simply contributes to the problem.
When i act on anger it is not punching my hand into a wall (did that...hurt like a mofo). Rather, the release of anger has to be constructive. The example i used on another post is able bodied people who park in handicapped spaces. I realease the anger by calling the police or mall security. Once the person finds their car towed and a several hundred dollar fine levied it is a safe bet they will allow a person who has a right to the space use it in the future.
I would be ashamed of myself if i did not act on the issue.


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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 10:29:27 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with sirsholly. Use your anger to get even. Become a mini sadist. When it is over smile and walk away.

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 10:30:29 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I agree with sirsholly. Use your anger to get even. Become a mini sadist. When it is over smile and walk away.

a smug lil wave is always a nice touch, too


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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 10:33:08 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
What’s your opinion? Angry/fight sex is hot? Dangerous? The best way to brawl? Sick and wrong? What do you think, and why?

I never have angry sex. If I am angry, I am definately not in the mood.
However, I do practice my karate when I am steamed. I take a lot to get angry, and I find the easiest way to dispell that is to go out to the park and do some kata, get myself exhausted physically. I can also go out and do some parcourt with Angel, though that is only if I am angry about work. To much chance to get hurt.

DV


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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 10:50:15 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Does expressing anger, releasing temper necessarily mean a loss of control?  

 
What’s your opinion? Angry/fight sex is hot? Dangerous? The best way to brawl? Sick and wrong? What do you think, and why?


I don't think expressing anger necessarily means that a person is out of control.  I can actually hold onto anger until I'm ready to deal with it.  I decide  when/where/how to express it when I feel the time is appropriate and when I feel I am ready to do so.  When I do express my anger, it's not usually on an impulse; it's more of a decison that I've deliberated over. 

I've always wondered about people who say they never get mad or say that anger is unhealthy.  I can say there have been times in my life when not getting angry would have indicated something was wrong with me.

And yes, I do think "angry/fight sex" can be hot.  Anger is a very strong passion, as strong as any other, and it can be very stimulating to feel that burning conflict inside your guts while you're being fucked by someone you can't stand. 

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marie.


I give good agita.









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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 10:52:46 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I've become a little more open minded about this, I had started a thread
"the Paradox of using forced sex"... http://www.collarchat.com/m_1857558/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1857558

Mind you, I love to engage in forced sex play.

In terms of the whole "Mr. & Mrs. Smith", those aspects of play were part of my Dom couple relationship.  Just without guns and trashing the joint to those extremes.   However, we never did that kind of rough play, when things were heated and serious for real.   There's a sort of fine line here.

I have mixed thoughts on this one.  It's something that has to be rather mutual, and I have to feel comfortable that engaging in, would not ultimately fuck up the relationship.

I've had it expressed to me in two of my previous relationships, my partners desires for me to cross the lines into this area. 

Mentally, this is something I have become more open minded about.  It would all depend upon the communication and talking about it, when things were not so angry and heated.

Mentally, this would a bit of new mind blowing journey for me.  So with that said, I'm no longer as Closed minded to engaging in this.   Before in the past.  I had a rather closed mind about it.  

It would all depend upon, if my future partner was into this.  Also, how her and I would mentally process these experiences and getting a gasp on the effects it has on the relationship itself.

Something that depends upon both people involved.  I'm more Open minded now.

I love being able to talk with other people about Topics such as these.  To get a little more insight and understanding about things from both sides of the coin. 

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 10:58:22 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
 
I may have been one of just a couple of posters on either thread who thinks anger/temper is okay. Many suggested it’s okay as long as it’s controlled. I understand that sentiment, which is why I have never hit my kids, but I also argue that the release of anger is as important and can be stimulating…leading to a mutually beneficial (~cough~) “outcome.” Does expressing anger, releasing temper necessarily mean a loss of control?
 
What’s your opinion? Angry/fight sex is hot? Dangerous? The best way to brawl? Sick and wrong? What do you think, and why?


Mr&Mrs Smith are BOTH hot (sorry... don't make me choose.. I want to bring both of them home and let them help me discipline Trent Reznor. *LOL*)

As far as the OP... I don't have "angry/fight sex". Honestly, I rarely get angry with my Darling -- most of my anger is expended on idiots, people who expect me to do their job because they're too lazy to do it themselves, and our teen/adults... who pay rent and think that means that they're also paying for personal maids, chauffeurs, and refrigerator-stockers.

Probably just me... sex for me is pretty much only fun when its playful/affectionate. Don't get me wrong... I can get a head of steam up if I'm pushed far enough -- but my Darling and I have never let our anger go that far -- we get it dealt with before either of us really picks up momentum.

CFB


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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:00:54 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Not so much anger with me; but rather the violence that comes with the loss of control. That's what turns me on

I will say though; that I would never tell someone it was ok for a partner, friend, loved one, etc...to lose control and take it out on them. What I like and what I know to be right/wrong are two different things.

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:05:15 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire


I never have angry sex. If I am angry, I am definately not in the mood.


I take it one step further and bellow "Get the HELL away from me!!"  Much to his credit...he gets the hell away.

We do not approach each other till tempers are cooled.


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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:26:45 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I know myself when it comes to anger.  I've never lost control to the point of causing anybody any real harm.  

In retrospect, I think this is why two of my partners in my previous relationships brought up their desires for me to engage in this activitity with them.

Clearly they trusted me enough to engage in doing this, without causing them any real harm. 

It's pretty obvious that there was an element of trust they had in me.

I think this is a safe activity provided it's done out of control or anger that is managed in a sane manner.  Why not?

Personally, i thought about this at length.  It's something I am able of doing without causing and great permant harm or damage to somebody. 

There are moments when I'm so angry that I want to be alone.  I need a time out..  I can relate to other people expressing that.   But I don't have the desire to be left alone every time I get upset or angry.   I don't always withdrawl because I'm angry or upset.  

So, I would say it all depends upon the moment.  What I am upset about and other things.

Again, I'm back to the fact that two of my previous partners, trusted me enough to voice their desire to engage in this, that they felt I would not cause them any true harm.

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:34:45 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

The example i used on another post is able bodied people who park in handicapped spaces.


To put it as gently as I can, these are some of the most suckheaded assholes in the world.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:35:42 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		To me, anger and temper are two different ideas. Anger, it is a human emotion. Temper brings to mind a childish tantrum.

When I am angry I want to be left alone. Do not talk to me, definately do not touch me. Just leave the the hell alone so I can calm down. Then we talk.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:48:42 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Not so much anger with me; but rather the violence that comes with the loss of control. That's what turns me on

I will say though; that I would never tell someone it was ok for a partner, friend, loved one, etc...to lose control and take it out on them. What I like and what I know to be right/wrong are two different things.


"Do not attempt. Professionals on a closed course."

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:50:03 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Not so much anger with me; but rather the violence that comes with the loss of control. That's what turns me on

I will say though; that I would never tell someone it was ok for a partner, friend, loved one, etc...to lose control and take it out on them. What I like and what I know to be right/wrong are two different things.


"Do not attempt. Professionals on a closed course."

LMAO good idea; perhaps I should have included that

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:51:51 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave
[snip, snip]
So, I would say it all depends upon the moment.  What I am upset about and other things.


I think this is right; it's what makes me so gooey about it. It would take an incredible connection and incredible trust to know when, how...

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 11:55:45 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Loss of temper (TO ME) indicates a lack of maturity and insecurity but  in McCain's case.. insecurity and senility. 
 
The ability to think before one reacts is a skill. 

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 12:52:35 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		While you may have been in the minority, you certainly weren't the only one.  As stated over there, I know my anger is there and I know that, like Owner for sex slave, that the varying motivational factors behind it creates a variation in response.

When someone I love pisses me off, it can be very conflicting.  I can be hurt and I can be angry and I can be emotional.  Oftentimes, my strongest feelings are expressed when I am experiencing my strongest emotions.  When my partner angers me...and not in a negative, hurt you just for hurting you fashion..., I express my anger passionately and yet...paradoxically enough...I find myself wanting them all the more, in many ways, mentally and emotionally and physically.  I can see myself doing what you described in  your post on that thread...pulling my submissive by the hair and stating "that is just about enough, MINE" and then looking even deeper into those eyes and, once she has acknowledged that yes, it is, taking her.

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 12:58:51 PM   
UR2Badored


Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I find myself wanting them all the more, in many ways, mentally and emotionally and physically.  I can see myself doing what you described in  your post on that thread...pulling my submissive by the hair and stating "that is just about enough, MINE" and then looking even deeper into those eyes and, once she has acknowledged that yes, it is, taking her.


This may be me just  having another hotflash......but that's hot, CD!

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RE: I Hope This Pisses You Off! - 8/20/2008 1:01:09 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think anger is a lot like rape, it is a hot fantasy but at times the reality can really suck.  That said, I am sure there are a few times in my life if I had just thrown the fucking bitch down, ripped her pants off, tore off her panties, shoved them in her mouthh so I didn't have to listen to her scream and just fucked the living shit out of her till we both collapsed in exhaustion things might have worked out better.  Either that or I would have been fending off "bubba" at the local jail who was looking at me and thinking the same thing...

I think it "works" when the anger IS controlled at a core level so that while the passion and intensity is high, the issue isn't a major one, and the "acting out" is something that they both want.  A couple who loves each other and knows it has a fight over something stupid the above could work, however if it is a core issue, that is going to cause more problems than it will solve.

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