RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!?

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (Full Version)

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youngstownsubm -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 2:49:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel Ah, I get it now youngstown... reading comprehension isn't your forte'. What I said was that I get a lot of mail from male subs that state (in their words, not mine) that age, race, gender and body type don't really matter to them, what matters is that they find an outlet to fulfill their fetish fantasies. At no point did I say that "age/race/body type not important" is the same thing as "it doesn't matter who my Domme is." or that I see it that way... What I said is that I've talked to quite a few males that feel that way. You said that if age/race/body type is not important to a sub then they should just enter the service industry. If that's not implying that the only important thing about someone is age, race and body type, I'm not sure what your point was at all.

MistressDolly -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 2:56:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn It's NOT the field of service that fascinates them, at least for the majority (I can't speak for the ocassional one that is adamant that must be it), but it's about SERVICE TO someone they desire to assist. Sure, there are a lot of wannabes that are willing to serve anyone, but I will say this again, because I've been saying this most of my submissive adult life, THEY ARE NOT SERVICE SUBMISSIVES. They claim to be service submissives because they HOPE it will cause some woman to allow them access to their inner circle. True.

MmeGigs -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 4:09:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I find it fascinating that dominants have so little understanding of service submissives. That's a pretty broad statement. I don't think it's accurate. I think I understand service submissives pretty well. They want to be given the opportunity to serve in a capacity that will make the most of their strengths and challenge them to overcome their weaknesses, and they want their service to be valued by the person(s) to whom it is offered. I know quite a few doms who have a pretty good understanding of and appreciation for service submission. Many crow and strut about the fabulous way their sub/slave cares for them. They know they've got something special. My slave-hubby is my housekeeper, personal secretary, errand boy, knight-errant, etc. because he finds it very fulfilling and satisfying to know that he has made my life more pleasant and has cushioned the bumpier bits for me. He always puts me first. I know that the things he does for me are an expression of his commitment to me and I don't take his submission or his service for granted. I don't make a big deal out of every little thing, but I do let him know how much I appreciate the things he does for me. I think I'm the luckiest woman on the planet, and I don't make any secret of that. I wish I could make copies of him for my friends, but I'm afraid they're out of luck - he can't start working on the sub replicator until after he's figured out the anti-gravity bedroom and the winter shortener. My needs come first. ;) They're not completely out of luck. He gets enjoyment from making the lives of other women he cares for more pleasant, particularly if it makes me happy. I loan him out to my boss from time to time when she has some heavy lifting or work requiring power tools to do around her house. He really likes and respects her, and enjoys being able to help her out. I loaned him out to a coworker when her husband died to help with the man-stuff that needed to be done at her place and it made him feel wonderful to be able to do that for her. I loan him out to kinky friends who need to give their toppy side some exercise - he's a pain-pig who makes excellent noises and can take just about anything. He loves the play, but he also gets a great deal of enjoyment out of knowing that he's been able to give them something they couldn't get elsewhere and that I'm so incredibly proud to have such a fabulous fellow to share with my friends. Back to the OP, there are some service jobs that might satisfy this need, but for the most part service jobs are impersonal, thankless, poorly-paid crapwork that's mostly done for people who don't seem to consider the service provider to be human. I've started my own little campaign against this. I try to let everyone who does a service for me know that I appreciate it. I thank the checkers, clerks, baggers, waitrons and what-have-you, and converse with them if they're so inclined. If I feel they've done an exceptional job, I tell them so and make a point of letting their manager know. I tip pretty well all the time, but I tip big when servers go out of their way for me. On the other paw, if a waitron sucks I'll tell them why I'm not leaving them a tip. Some folks are just not cut out for service. I don't think that I'm unusual. I hope that I'm not.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 4:19:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel Ah, I get it now youngstown... reading comprehension isn't your forte'. What I said was that I get a lot of mail from male subs that state (in their words, not mine) that age, race, gender and body type don't really matter to them, what matters is that they find an outlet to fulfill their fetish fantasies. At no point did I say that "age/race/body type not important" is the same thing as "it doesn't matter who my Domme is." or that I see it that way... What I said is that I've talked to quite a few males that feel that way. You said that if age/race/body type is not important to a sub then they should just enter the service industry. If that's not implying that the only important thing about someone is age, race and body type, I'm not sure what your point was at all. *This is what I said...* quote: youngstownsubm.. you most likely don't get a lot of mail from male sub types but I have had my share and a LOT of them really aren't concerned very much about age, looks, race or body type... they really are in it for what they can get out of it. And to those types I would ask the same questions... why not get a job in the field that fasinates them sooooo much? Why not hire yourself out as a pro sub or something like that? I personally experienced a male sub that gave up the possibility of a long term relationship because he would have to give up the constant playing with so many others. His "pro-sub" days would have been over. So just because that doesn't fit you doesn't mean Akasha is a troll or has no idea what she is talking about. Please... read the whole sentence, don't go off on a tangent because the first half doesn't make sense to you without the second half. If they aren't in it to serve one particular person, one female dominant, or they aren't in it because seeing their SO pleased and content with the service they have to offer, if they really couldn't give a crap who they are serving so long as they are serving in the capacity in which they are most content, in a capacity where they get their fetish fantasies fulfilled and little else matters to them then YES... GET A JOB IN THAT FIELD!!! I truly don't know how much more clarity I can offer then that. quote: You said that if age/race/body type is not important to a sub and they really are in it for what THEY can get out of it then they should just enter the service industry. If that's not implying that the only important thing about someone is age, race and body type, I'm not sure what your point was at all.

littlesarbonn -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 4:36:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MmeGigs quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I find it fascinating that dominants have so little understanding of service submissives. That's a pretty broad statement. I don't think it's accurate. You're taking the statement out of context. It was a response to the posts IN THIS THREAD, not to dominants in general. And yes, I still stand behind that statement that I do find it fascinating that dominants can have so little understanding of service submissives YET talk as if they're experts on the subject. Again, that doesn't mean EVERY dominant, but some of the dominants who have made specific statements in this thread. And just this thread. What completely fascinated me was that EVEN AFTER enough submissives came to this thread to explain why just service is not what attracts them as service submissives, dominants CONTINUED to make the same statements of misunderstandings. Not everyone did, so it's not a blanket statement, but some who would normally get automatic respect on these boards managed to surprise anyone who might actually happen to be an actual service submissive.

gypsygrl -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 5:05:57 PM)
quote: Is it because random service, even if you DO come across attractive ladies at least some percent of the time, is just not fulfilling? An after thought: I actually do like random service. Like random acts of kindness. It feels good to serve just for the sake of serving and just to make life a little better for someone. I get the impression that 'service submissives' who only find fulfillment in serving their One must be rather difficult and unpleasing with everyone else. Its just an impression, and I'm probably wrong about it, but I don't really the whole trajectory of people's thinking here. Does that mean I'm some kind of service slut? :)

MmeGigs -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 5:07:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Many service subs reach out aggressively to serve women and do not seem to care who/how ("age, race unimportant, and I want little/nothing in return) - so why not bring those skills to the general public? I don't think that the fellows you're referring to are service submissives. If a guy is only willing to do the dishes if he's chained to the sink and doesn't care who's chaining him there as long as she's wearing a corset and stilettos, he's not a service sub. At best, he's a service fetishist, at worst he's another wanker looking for pro services without the fees. To be honest, it kind of creeps me out how dismissive you are of service-oriented subs in this thread and how you lump them in with the wannafuck and fetish-seeking fellows. They're not the least bit similar.

AAkasha -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 5:19:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MmeGigs quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Many service subs reach out aggressively to serve women and do not seem to care who/how ("age, race unimportant, and I want little/nothing in return) - so why not bring those skills to the general public? I don't think that the fellows you're referring to are service submissives. If a guy is only willing to do the dishes if he's chained to the sink and doesn't care who's chaining him there as long as she's wearing a corset and stilettos, he's not a service sub. At best, he's a service fetishist, at worst he's another wanker looking for pro services without the fees. To be honest, it kind of creeps me out how dismissive you are of service-oriented subs in this thread and how you lump them in with the wannafuck and fetish-seeking fellows. They're not the least bit similar. I think most people recognize the nature and position I took on this thread to stimulate some great converation - and it's been great. I think it makes people think on both sides of the equation. I'm married to the ultimate "service" submissive, who for 5 years spent his entire life and passion finding ways to take care of my needs - all of them - because it pleases him to see me happy and stress-free. I also went through a handful of "houseboys" when I was single and living an apartment in the late 90s and had a real education on "no strings" housework and submission. I ended up hiring a maid :) Akasha

MmeGigs -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 5:47:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn quote: ORIGINAL: MmeGigs quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I find it fascinating that dominants have so little understanding of service submissives. That's a pretty broad statement. I don't think it's accurate. You're taking the statement out of context. It was a response to the posts IN THIS THREAD, not to dominants in general. Then I think you should have made your statement more specific. It looked to me like you were talking about dominants in general. quote: And yes, I still stand behind that statement that I do find it fascinating that dominants can have so little understanding of service submissives YET talk as if they're experts on the subject. Again, that doesn't mean EVERY dominant, but some of the dominants who have made specific statements in this thread. And just this thread. What completely fascinated me was that EVEN AFTER enough submissives came to this thread to explain why just service is not what attracts them as service submissives, dominants CONTINUED to make the same statements of misunderstandings. Not everyone did, so it's not a blanket statement, but some who would normally get automatic respect on these boards managed to surprise anyone who might actually happen to be an actual service submissive. That aggravated me, too, I'm sure for the same reasons it aggravated you. But it's not ALL dominants that are this way, it's SOME doms, and it's really important to make that distinction. I resent being lumped into the Clueless Dom category as much as you resent being lumped into the Will Submit To Anyone category. As far as the automatic respect thing goes, I don't do that and don't see why anyone else should. It does suck when someone with a lot of credibility says something that's narrow-minded or offensive, but it's not like they've got the final word. It's a mistake to assume that high-profile folk speak for anyone other than themselves.

MmeGigs -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 5:49:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: E2Sweet Often times, there is no better way to ruin something that brings you great enjoyment and satisfaction than to make it your profession. You've got that right. I took all the fun out of several very fulfilling hobbies by trying to make them profitable businesses.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 6:41:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl quote: Is it because random service, even if you DO come across attractive ladies at least some percent of the time, is just not fulfilling? An after thought: I actually do like random service. Like random acts of kindness. make life a little better for someone. Does that mean I'm some kind of service slut? :) Well, i can see you getting wet over dirty ashtrays. Seriously though, while i do not think of it as service, i do tend to do little things for everybody around me. Stuff i don't even think about like treating all the rose bushes on our block for black spot while i am doing mine, or giving cooking lessons to the neighbor girl, or handing out extra plants to anybody who wants them. I think you just like to nurture much as i do.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 6:48:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I have some pretty big business projects in mind for the future. I can hire a maid to clean house-I'd prefer a good sub to help with planning and administration. I'm better at design and production. I'm not sure what exactly you have in mind, but I don't think subs can just be used as free labor for your company. When you start profitting from subs' "service" I think it leaves the realm of BDSM and enters the realm of exploitation. And why not? And how is it exploitation? It is ok to use a subbie to clean or cook but not to help you run your business? Why, is running a business legitimate work and keeping house is not? Because he would make a profit? WTF does that have to do with anything? As long as the sub in question consented to this how is it exploitation? I always helped my prior Master with his work. And i have helped Scooter a little from time to time with simple things from his job. And you think this is not BDSM? Why, it is certainly M/s or D/s, i am providing a service that is needed.

HornyToadsMI -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 7:17:06 PM)
Honey, you have never been a "Pool Boy". LOL. BTW, dont marry the pool boy, they are too busy servicing everyone else! quote: ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl 1)because it pays shit 2)because they cant sleep with the people in who's houses they work 3)some might feel like a pro slave 4)they wont be able to wear them hot fetish outfits at these places

HornyToadsMI -> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? (8/22/2008 7:19:24 PM)
i always joke that i am the corporate slave.......Toad and i are self employed...... quote: ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x quote: ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I have some pretty big business projects in mind for the future. I can hire a maid to clean house-I'd prefer a good sub to help with planning and administration. I'm better at design and production. I'm not sure what exactly you have in mind, but I don't think subs can just be used as free labor for your company. When you start profitting from subs' "service" I think it leaves the realm of BDSM and enters the realm of exploitation. And why not? And how is it exploitation? It is ok to use a subbie to clean or cook but not to help you run your business? Why, is running a business legitimate work and keeping house is not? Because he would make a profit? WTF does that have to do with anything? As long as the sub in question consented to this how is it exploitation? I always helped my prior Master with his work. And i have helped Scooter a little from time to time with simple things from his job. And you think this is not BDSM? Why, it is certainly M/s or D/s, i am providing a service that is needed.

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