CreativeDominant -> RE: Goodbye (8/22/2008 2:00:14 PM)
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It's funny...when I first came here two years ago, I was an improvement over the "Alan Alda" man I had been in my vanilla life but I had veered too far over into the controlling aspect with tones of passive-aggressive behavior. Through arguments with you and Knight and Merc and others, through discussions on various topics with the same three and others, through learning from, while not dealing with, submissives in any way as other than friends or casual partners when I first got here, I was taking that step of looking inside myself and how I related to the world and wanted to without the influence provided by having a partner. I feel I've made great strides in that direction and now, as I have become close to submissives and dominants on here and I look to the future and a partner, I feel that fear that I will fall back into old patterns of questioning myself in inappropriate ways but comfortable ways. While your post sadly reminds me that it is possible, one thing I have taken from this place is an assuredness about what I want and need and the fact that it is O.K. to feel that way and O.K. to look at someone and say "You, more than anyone in my past, knew what you were getting when you agreed to be with me". I have hopes that it will not be long before you will take what you have learned here and from your broken relationship and find that "O.K." too. You know my cmail box and I believe you have my number. If you no longer do, then drop me a line and you will have it again.
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