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rookey -> RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? (8/21/2008 8:14:33 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Draythos
Last night I admitted to hitting a slave out of anger. I told the situation which is as follows:
She was a bitchy bottom, I told her I would not tolerate it, we singed a playlist stating that she would not do it but, she did it anyway so, I felt disrespected and lost my cool and punched her ass (literally). We appolagized to each other, her for doing what she contracted Not to do and me for hitting her. We haven't played together sense (it's been over a year).
You admit you made a bad choice and that you should have exercised better judgement. It sounds perhaps as though you're learned your lesson and have moved on. Or are at least trying to.
quote:
One of the more "experienced" Tops and an "exprienced" bottom gave me a 30 minute lecture because of it. If I wanted a good lecture, I would have gone to Harvard. OK, you "experienced" players my know more than some of the others but, you don't know everything and that does NOT give you the right to badger, patrinize and /or challenge (that's what made me her) others that are not as "experiencd" as you. I'm sure you've made mistakes, too. So, make your comments short, sweet and to the point.
Judging by this, plenty here on CM regard what you did as unforgiveable, hence the long lectures as you see it. I suspect there is an implication said folks may not want to know you. Perhaps they've been on the receiving end of something similarly unpleasant and find it hard to be sympathetic.
What I've written here is speculative stuff, I don't know all the hard facts because I wasn't in the chat room at the time. Hence my guarded comments.
That said, in this thread you come across though you're liable to blow your top given enough 'rabbit' from other people. The only way I can see to defuse this is either to just walk away from the long lectures or ask folks why they're giving you the lessons you say you've already learnt. What are they trying to achieve?
Another point is, how can you move on if others won't let you? Maybe it is a case of folks thinking you're bad news, good bye.
You're being honest about what happened should prevent a repeat performance; either someone getting into a relationship with you will know the pifalls upfront and so will take care to avoid them. Failing this they will avoid you altogether.
Any relationship is a potential minefield and having a map of where all the mines are goes a long way to avoid stepping on them. Hence the value of being honest upfront.
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