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RE: understanding - 8/21/2008 10:37:05 AM

mistoferin

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So where does the temper come in?

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RE: understanding - 8/21/2008 11:58:06 AM

chyanna

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Joined: 11/3/2007
From: stafford, England
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see this is where i have a problem getting what i mean out and get it wrong time after time an it frustrates and iritates me guess temper wasnt the word to use...
just bloody useless

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RE: understanding - 8/21/2008 3:25:07 PM

hereyesruponyou

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Chyanna,

Is your complaint about people not understanding why you are living with your ex, or not being understanding and accepting of your MS? I can see those as related in some ways, but really 2 different subjects. Someone who can't accept the MS will never get why you would be with an ex who is willing to stay a friend and caregiver. They are also most likely someone who will not stick by you when you need it, so as much as it hurts, and i am sure it does, you are probably better off with them out of your life.

If someone is truly understanding of your MS, open to the restrictions it may place on your relationship, and accepting of all that you are, then I would have to ask how you have presented your relationship/situation with your home life. Is the person allowed to call you at home? Pick you up from there if things get serious? Meet your ex and thank him for what he does for you? If you insist that your Dom never have any contact with your caregiver then that would send a red flag up that could lead to a lack of trust, and just might make even someone sincere and caring think twice

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RE: understanding - 8/21/2008 3:55:21 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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So you're bad at communicating, keep attracting the same type of guys and relationships which don't work out and get frustrated when they hand you a line and then either don't put up with your shit or end up being dorks?

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RE: understanding - 8/21/2008 5:01:43 PM

hereyesruponyou

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Wow LA, don;t hold back now!

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RE: understanding - 8/22/2008 12:08:06 AM

MaamJay

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To the OP:

If I was a Dom talking with you, I would be more concerned about the MS than the ex. That's because I know that the disease can progress in strange and random ways, with various activities suddenly being impossible for a time then perhaps being ok. A cousin woke up unable to see ... she was blind for weeks and that was how her MS was ultimately diagnosed ... she got her sight back but then her legs were stricken for a time ... wheelchair bound for a while then that came good and her hands went numb ... it's hell for her and it was for a long while for her family till they learned to cope and found mechanisms for dealing with an "on and off" wife and Mum. While I don't consider Myself shallow, I would take a BIG DEEP breath before embarking on a relationship with a disease that is ultimately more in control of the sub than I could be. That's what would differentiate it, in My mind, from some other diseases or disabilities. Also, is it clear to the Dom whether the ex is here to stay or whether he would move on once you have another caregiver (the Dom maybe?). That could also be a real sticking point all round I think.

I would also make a comment which may seem harsh ... you commented that you wouldn't pay for care when your ex was willing to do it for nowt. Now I realise that might have come out wrongly ... but as written, it smacks to Me of a rather selfish user ... NOT someone I would want to be with. It could be that this is what the Doms are running a mile from.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: understanding - 8/22/2008 1:37:53 AM

MidMichCowboy

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Joined: 3/23/2007
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Listen, you can NOT blame people for not wanting to be involved with you. If people don't want to take on the burdens in your life, that is their choice. I sympathize because many of us are in situations that do not lend themselves to interest by a lot of people.
My oldest son is autistic. He is doing well, but he lives with me. He actually takes care of me quite a bit (I don't clean or do laundry) but this is a situation a lot of people (including his mother) don't want to deal with. I don't hold that against people.
I have 3 young umms in my life (yes, even at my age ... far from dead). I am very involved in raising them. A lot of ladies in my age group don't want to get involved. I don't hold that against them either.

People have the right to make choices about what circumstances they are willing to assume when they get in a relationship. Blaming others because they don't want to get involved with you and assume the burdens of the circumstances of your life, is very much self pity.
Do I get lonesome ... YES. Do I wish I could find someone ... YES. Am I going to SETTLE? Hell no.
I'd rather be alone that with someone who isn't "THE ONE".
Do I believe there is someone out there for everyone? No, sorry. Life is not fair.

On the good side, we have to learn to take our joy everyday. If we can't find it within ourself, we are really no good to anyone else.

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Post #: 27