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RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 7:47:50 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

my shyness does not discriminate due to gender
im not a group person


Go with someone you know? That's what I do


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HBIC



(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 7:48:35 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

what is sub frenzy?


Here are a couple of links that might help you understand...

Sub Frenzy

Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy?


(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 7:51:35 PM   
paperdollie


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline 		thanks

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 7:54:05 PM   
paperdollie


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline 		no one knows i am into this

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 8:05:18 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

no one knows i am into this


Trust me, if you have friends that are 'really' your friends, they won't care. Besides, you'd be shocked at the # of people that are into this- most just don't make a huge deal about it and attend munchs and such.


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HBIC



(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 8:54:42 PM   
subeos


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline 		This may or may not help. But when i would meet a Dom on-line and then decide to meet him in a public place. This was my plan.
i had my cell phone with me, and i had a friend who was like my big brother. Well, i would tell him i was meeting this guy and where and the time.
We would get there a little early and he would sit in his car and i would pick a place where he could see me. Not always was the case where he could see me though.
Anyway, he would give me about 20 minutes and then call my phone. i would answer it and i acted like it was my boss. Well, if i did not click with this guy or felt uncomfortable, he would know. Then i would act as if i was being called into to work to cover anothers person's shift.
May not be totally honest, but it helped me from being hurt or in a postion i could not get out of.

~slave eos~

(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 9:15:33 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

what is sub frenzy?


I didn't use the term, but I think it means a sub getting carried away with the prospect of a new Dom and seeing things that simply aren't there in reality.


(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 9:30:02 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		As your profile doesn't read like someone that is just looking for a hook-up, the first thing is to avoid profiles that mention little to nothing except BDSM. You are probably going to have better luck with people that sound like people and not a kink list. Also, remember the old adage: If it seems too good to be true it probably is.

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 8/21/2008 9:31:52 PM >

(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 9:32:16 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulnz

quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

what is sub frenzy?


I didn't use the term, but I think it means a sub getting carried away with the prospect of a new Dom and seeing things that simply aren't there in reality.




Charlie, come with us to the magic mountain!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus

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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 9:49:28 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		First off, according to your profile you only joined in May of this year. Many people look for years to find the one. Define what it is you are truly seeking out of this. Getting out to a munch although you may be shy would be a good way to really discover and meet other individuals you can connect with and learn from.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: hmmmmm - 8/21/2008 10:02:34 PM   
atypicalsub


Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline 		try spending some time in the chat rooms.  It gives you a great way to get to know people on here as well as asking questions about anything you don't understand such as bdsm terms.  Also the chat rooms help screen out some of the fakes.  Just if you get PMed by someone who never says anything publicly be suspicious.


_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)


(in reply to califsue)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 12:10:50 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Some thoughts to keep in mind.

1. There are a lot of crazy fucked up people online in general.
2. There are a lot of crazy fucked up people in the lifestyle.
3. Most Dominant men are assholes.
4. Not everbody online is fucked up.
5. Not everbody into the lifestyle is fucked up.
6. Not all Dominant men are assholes.



< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 8/22/2008 12:12:40 AM >

(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 12:17:16 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Leatherist..>DAMN YOU!!

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 3:48:59 AM   
DavidS8ist


Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

seems i am always interested in these Masters who end up being fake. what are some good indicators that a Dom isn't all He builds Himself up to be.
i am a real person and i am tired of getting hurt.
help?

There've been a lot of great replies in this thread, so I'll just offer some thoughts, some of which have already been offered.

1.  You're looking for a man.  If he becomes *your* master, so be it.  But I've yet to see any universally accepted course of study offering the title "BDSM Master."  You're the one who gets to decide whether or not he's a master in your eyes.

2.  After an initial flirt or two as ice-breakers, if you aren't talking about movies and books and tv shows and places you've both been, he's not interested in you, the person.

3.  If there's the slightest evasiveness about meeting - especially repeated evasiveness like "I'm out of town on business Tuesday" and then "My client is in town Saturday" and then "I have a class reunion next weekend" - take a vowel, solve the puzzle.

4.  If he can't discuss anything *but* BDSM related topics, he's not from the deep end of the gene pool.

5.  If you can't think of 5 - no, make it 3 - salient points about him as a person - not as a "dom" or a "master", but as a sentient, breathing human being - scratch him off the list.

6.  If you're the one asking all the questions, and he's the one offering less than concise answers, time to move on.

7.  Lastly, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

D.
"You had your whole life to prepare for this moment.  Why aren't you ready?"
- David Mamet, "Spartan"

(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 6:19:55 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Op forget the coffee thing. I don't drink coffee. How about you meet me for a Pepsi. If you don't show up I will know your a fake. I like this post. I may finally get to meet someone from on here.

(in reply to DavidS8ist)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 6:41:18 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Leatherist..>DAMN YOU!!


The candy mounnnntaaaaiiinnnnn!!!!!

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 11:56:04 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I am sure that if you take the trouble, you can find a few past threads on the subject. But in general, these are life lessons, and they apply to you figuring out who in your life and environs is worth the trouble, and who isn't. Really little to do with BDSM, there are fakes an flakes in all walks of life, professions, in your family, etc. So a good book on the human psyche will help, and for the rest - I, too, have learned by experience, so will you. One hopes.. One tip: don't put limiters, like your Christianity, up front. It makes you a very easy mark, and there are lots of people who don't wear their convictions on their sleeve, but are very worth it. It's assbackwards - find out if someone is a good human being, then go on from there.

(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 5:09:51 PM   
paperdollie


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the responses. I wish i had the time to respond to each one. i will take each one into consideration and just stick to my faith. if it is meant to be, it will happen. i guess sometimes we have to get hurt along the way.
Leatherist, i hope i did offend You. i am just not really "book smart". i need stuff broken down lol.
please, any of you feel free to message me on the site. i will do my best to respond to all.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 7:06:47 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		paperdollie - I am a big fan of the 'go to a munch and get involved locally' advice, and i second the 'if you go with someone it seems less intimadating' thing.
You will meet some very nice people and they will be real. It's a great start.
I understand about not asking vanilla friends.
This is what I advise. Find a local munch or group or two or three.
Get on their mail list.
Chat with some people. Get to know a couple of women.
Ask if one of them can give you a ride - now you are going with someone you know, without dragging in vanilla friends and discussing your lifestyle choices with them.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to paperdollie)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 9:08:40 PM   
paperdollie


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline 		is it possible that the fact that i am a Christian is affecting things? is is too much to expect someone in this lifestyle to wait until marriage to experience sexual intimacy with me?
i will not let up on my beliefs. maybe that is the cause of my less than positive experiences so far?
i will do some research on a munch.

_____________________________

"Come to the edge", He said.
"i'm afraid", she said.
"Come to the edge", He said
she came
He pushed her
and she flew....

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 40
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