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RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 9:33:01 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

Being a Christain who will not have sex until married is going to limit your pool of potentail Masters.
But so will or would a whole bunch of other things.
Being a mother of UMs still at home. Being a big woman. having a handicap. Being unable to relocate. Not liking pain. the list is endless - hell, how about having red hair or being too short.
there are plenty out there for you. There are a lot of online only types who want to pick a woman, any woman, random woman, and expect that woman to morph into a perfect fit for them, when they say the magic words (' I do so order and command thee!) and wave their unfortunatly short and floppy magic wand. It don't work that way. When they tell you that their magic would have worked just fine, excepting for obviously you aint a real Twue sub, or you would have morphed into what they told you to morph into (which probably involved flying to them at your expense to give them a blow job. Which, granted, they do desperately need, having gone without one for over a decade now....)
feel free to block them and go on with your search. That's what everyone else does to them, too.
You really will have better luck if you get involved in local community.
Other than that, here are a couple of websites you might want to check out:
Christians and BDSM

Taken in Hand

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 41

RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 9:49:44 PM

paperdollie

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

oh i have realized how being a Christian limits my choices but i believe i am worth the wait. too bad no one else sees it lol
thank you for the links. i will check them out

_____________________________

"Come to the edge", He said.
"i'm afraid", she said.
"Come to the edge", He said
she came
He pushed her
and she flew....

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 42

RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 9:54:27 PM

Racquelle

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

oh i have realized how being a Christian limits my choices but i believe i am worth the wait. too bad no one else sees it lol
thank you for the links. i will check them out

Someone else will see it - and then - you know you will have found the right one.

You ARE worth waiting for. Don't make a decision that doesn't fit with your values, but do know, Jesus will love you no matter what.

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 43

RE: hmmmmm - 8/22/2008 9:56:41 PM

paperdollie

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

thank you Racquelle. i needed to be reminded of that.

_____________________________

"Come to the edge", He said.
"i'm afraid", she said.
"Come to the edge", He said
she came
He pushed her
and she flew....

(in reply to Racquelle)

Post #: 44

RE: hmmmmm - 8/23/2008 3:21:03 AM

WhiplashSmile2

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

Look for a DOM that shows he's a real person as well. There are a lot of people online that are clueless. Don't expect the best of results online, however don't be suprised if you find a couple out of the many that are real.

Don't give up quickly, if you encounter a DOM that well does not come off as a real person. Move on to the next one.

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 45

RE: hmmmmm - 8/23/2008 5:32:52 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

~FR~

It can take a long time before you find someone who truly "fits" you. It may not be, shockers!, on this site. Having conservative Christian values is not a bad thing. If anything, it will help you weed out the wankers who are just looking for a quick blow job or a little something on the side while they go home to wifey. Married men who are smart can play the "but really, I'm single, I promise!" game very well.

My dominant was on a dating site and hooked up, very briefly, with my best friend who thought the 2 of us might click. She was right. He knew nothing about this lifestyle until we started dating and now he's learning and enjoying what it has to offer. God gave me a very pervertable person to submit to but it took me years of looking before I found him.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)

Post #: 46

RE: hmmmmm - 8/23/2008 8:28:36 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

paperdollie, you want a Christian Dom. This suggests two approaches:

1. Troll in CM or other kinky sites for Christians.
2. Search in your church for Doms.

I suggest the second.

When you do, when you get one on one, drop in the code words. Like: "I appreciate a man who is confident and in control." or "Sometimes I just want to let someone else make the decisions."

You may want to seek out couples and ask if they know any single men. Tell them you want within a specified age range, someone intelligent, and someone who is a strong man.

Just to let you know, there were several in my synagogue who knew I am a Dom. Several others suspected IMO. It didn't diminish their opinion of me in any way. And nobody blabbed.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 47

RE: hmmmmm - 8/23/2008 10:34:16 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

DarkSteven,
I agree that recruiting may be the way to go. It is not that difficult to talk about believing that the man should be HOH. next, talk about domestic discipline, and finally about sexual urges that you want to see fulfilled in marraige, even though you want to wait for marriage to fulfill them. With the sexual conversations, begin by talking, again, about how you believe your partner should get anything he wants, ect.... this is just my suggestion.
I have dated vanillas who i considered 'recruitable' before. Because, really, the relationship was far more important to me than the kink. I am pretty deep and dark kinky, but the man in control part is the most important part, for me.

paperdollie,
all this is just curiosity, you do not have to answer. You have said you are a virgn looking for a virgin, correct? (I might have you confused with someone else). Under what circumstances would you consider a man who was not a virgin? Would you, for instance, be open to a widower?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 48

RE: hmmmmm - 8/23/2008 11:01:54 AM

trappedinamuseum

Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

The whole sociopathic "mirroring" thing is why it's also not a very good idea to post a twenty page "All about me and what I want-including pink unicorns"

Treatise in your profile.

I am sorry, but you are underestimating how important pink unicorns really are.

_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 49

RE: hmmmmm - 8/23/2008 10:15:12 PM

blacksword404

Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

no one knows i am into this

Well i can see from your profile that your Cristian. But that does not totally keep you from bdsm. I'm Cristian and gorean. And as long as you are able to keep your morals and codes i wouldn't worry about your friends finding out. Your bedroom activities are your own.

_____________________________

Don't fight him. Embrace your inner asshole.

Tu fellas magnus penum meum...iterum

Genuine catnip/kryptonite.
Ego sum erus.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill, the willingness to learn a choice. Dune HH

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 50

RE: hmmmmm - 8/23/2008 10:27:13 PM

blacksword404

Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

is it possible that the fact that i am a Christian is affecting things? is is too much to expect someone in this lifestyle to wait until marriage to experience sexual intimacy with me?
i will not let up on my beliefs. maybe that is the cause of my less than positive experiences so far?
i will do some research on a munch.

You may find what you seek on here, but it is unlikely. Half the people online are full of shit. And then for the other half to have to wait for marriage to be with you drops you odds way down. About how many on here do you think are even thinking marriage? It's the needle in the haystack. But that needle is in there. So if you take the time you might find it. Who knows?

_____________________________

Don't fight him. Embrace your inner asshole.

Tu fellas magnus penum meum...iterum

Genuine catnip/kryptonite.
Ego sum erus.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill, the willingness to learn a choice. Dune HH

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 51

RE: hmmmmm - 8/27/2008 2:25:16 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

seems i am always interested in these Masters who end up being fake. what are some good indicators that a Dom isn't all He builds Himself up to be.
i am a real person and i am tired of getting hurt.
help?

Rule #1 If someone seems to good to be true they probably are.
Rule #2 Take everything someone says with a grain of salt until you can validate it
             as being honest. Yes this takes time, more time then talking
             twice online.
Rule #3 USE YOUR COMMON SENSE. You were given a brain and intellect,
             use it.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 52

RE: hmmmmm - 8/27/2008 2:38:50 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

Do you sit on the net all day looking for links like that? It's really annoying lol.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 53

RE: hmmmmm - 8/27/2008 2:42:37 PM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

aww dont worry you learn not to click his links

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 54

RE: hmmmmm - 8/27/2008 3:51:08 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 55

RE: hmmmmm - 8/27/2008 5:38:46 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: paperdollie

i am a decent girl. i rely online a lot because i am way shy and just would feel comfortable busting up in a munch or something full of strangers.
i usually get comfortable online then on the phone but for some reason once i mention a real meeting, they scatter. maybe its me lol

One suggestion that might resolve some of your challenges would be to meet some people online who are in your area and who participate in the local munches, etc. Ask a couple of these people if they'd be willing to 'sponsor' you at the next munch -- having a place with them for you to sit, and someone to talk to who you are somewhat familiar with might make it possible for you to become more active in the local scene.

Oh, and it's not just you -- it happens on both sides of the collar. We've scheduled 5 meetings in the past 3 weeks and were stood up all 5 times... one of the individuals has 'struck out' with us -- it's the 2nd time he's called on the cell 30 minutes before we were supposed to meet and had a sudden 'emergency' that meant he couldn't make our appointment (and still had the chutzpah to say "I'm still really interested and hope you'll still consider me"). On the other hand, over the years, we've planned to meet -many- people, and some of them have actually shown up and been -awesome- people in person as well as over email.
Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 56

RE: hmmmmm - 8/28/2008 9:04:42 AM

ODadEO

Posts: 44
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline

she's gonna be touching my mustache? but its a fake!

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 57

RE: hmmmmm - 9/24/2008 3:41:51 AM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Ask him about his previous pets. if he comments that they're in his fridge, get out of there. Seriously though, he should have some people he can refer to. Also ask yourself why they are looking for someone, possibly they've enver had anyone.
A real Dom will be only too happy to share some of his experiences with you, we are all shameless show offs!
Don't fall for pictures of alleged pets, he just have downoaded them from other profles, mind you, if he does, refer the purloined person's profile owner to him, he won't do it twice.

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 58

RE: hmmmmm - 9/24/2008 3:43:01 AM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

My typing has gone to hell today, sory for smelling pistakes.

(in reply to paperdollie)

Post #: 59

RE: hmmmmm - 9/24/2008 5:46:32 PM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

See them as a person instead of a some superhuman Dominant thing. Some people may disagree with me, and tell you that a Master is some sort of being that just oozes authority, and all of the little helpless subbies go flocking to him, because they just can't help themselves.

If you want to be cautious, just treat it like a normal relationship... don't agree to be his 'bj slut' on the first meeting, go out for coffee, and find out what he's really like. Take it a little slower, and don't get attached. ^_^

On the other hand, a guy who may seem fake to you, may be perfect for someone else, so don't be so quick to write them off. :P

*Edit* And ffs, don't cam for anyone... unless you get off on preforming for random ass people.

i agree. the dynamic of who is the sub, and who is the dom has already been established by the writing in the profiles. i meet with a potential slave many times before i go handing out a permanent collar. compatibility issues are my first priority, for myself and the slave.

as far as indicators. there are none, just like master cannot tell if a slave is to their liking. the only way to tell is to give it a try.

more than likely the master is not a fake, nor is the slave, its just not compatible. move on to the next and take notes along the way.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 60

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