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MaleAuthority -> RE: hmmmmm (9/27/2008 3:47:24 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy
Ask him about his previous pets. if he comments that they're in his fridge, get out of there. Seriously though, he should have some people he can refer to. Also ask yourself why they are looking for someone, possibly they've enver had anyone.
A real Dom will be only too happy to share some of his experiences with you, we are all shameless show offs!
I so disagree with this. First, I think dominant men have every right to be newbies and learners, just like submissive women. The perfect guy for her could be as new to all this as she is, and her perfect relationship may be one when they learn this together. And what's wrong with him being single? I'm single, and have been for some time, because I'm looking for someone who's very special, and for a relationship that's very unusual and special. I see nothing at all dodgy about that! Also, I think the idea that a dominant date should be the kind of man who bigs up and sells his experience is a dangerous and negative one. Nor do I think it's right for a man to share too much about previous relationships, at least not the kinky or sexual side: if he'll tell you all about what he did with someone else (which might have lasted just a week before she rumbled him), why should he respect your privacy if your relationship ends some time in the future?
I agree with the advice about openness. I think you should expect him to be ready to meet you quickly, but not pressure you to do so. He should not be pressurising you into sex at all. I think it's a good sign if he's completely open about who he is - a bit of reticence is understandable on a first date but you should certainly have a photo and a real name by your first date, and I think by a second meeting he should be prepared to let you look through his wallet. You should know his name, what he does, his address, his home phone, everything like that. He should be offering you more information than you're giving him, should not be pressurising you to give him any information at all, and should be making sure that if you do somehow get ahead on the revelation stakes, he at least equals that up, straight away.
Take safety precautions, but if you feel safe and have met him a couple of times already, then I agree with the advice about going to his place. he should want to invite you over to dinner - so let him! And why not ask him if you can look around the place, nosily? I wouldn't mind, because in my flat you wouldn't find any signs of wifely habitation, and I wouldn't mind if you found my kinky toys.
Finally, he should be talking to you about normal stuff as well as kinky stuff, and be interested in you. A date should work pretty much like a vanilla date in my view. If it's too, too far away from that, then there's something wrong.
As far as being a Christian is concerned, that's not even an issue. There are Christian BDSM dating sites, even (or there used to be at least one). And although for some people, "domestic discipline" and "Taken in Hand" are different from BDSM, I think they have a lot in common with it, and many, many straight women, and especially traditionally-minded and Christian women, are really attracted to them. I'd recommend you check out takeninhand.com.
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