How to get EXPERIENCE

How to get EXPERIENCE (Full Version)

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iwantyounow21 -> How to get EXPERIENCE (8/21/2008 8:18:47 PM)
While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress. As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find! Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none. The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate. I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage. I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me. So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience? Thank you so much for reading my question [:)]

Lynnxz -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/21/2008 8:21:48 PM)
Personally, I like to play with people who 'aren't' experienced. That way, I can do the things the way I like them done, and not have them bother me about how "Mistress so and so" does things. ... and besides, if I mess up, they are less likely to notice. [:D]

MistressOfGa -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/21/2008 8:44:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz Personally, I like to play with people who 'aren't' experienced. That way, I can do the things the way I like them done, and not have them bother me about how "Mistress so and so" does things. ... and besides, if I mess up, they are less likely to notice. [:D] lol so true, so true. I also like the inexperienced. I find a certain..arrogance among some of the experienced boys I have played with. I love the innocence of one who is eager to please and shows it in every little move he makes. ETA: Gee I wonder if this is the reason I seem to attract much younger subs? <g>

darchChylde -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/21/2008 8:56:58 PM)
Usually, you have to kill rats and wolves along with finding the lost puppy for the occasional, gravity defyingly buxom innkeeper's daughter. Sorry, been playing video games. I would recommend finding your local scene and volunteer at every event and go to brunches and get your face and name out there as someone eager and willing to learn.

tsatske -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/21/2008 9:06:36 PM)
I am not a male sub nor female submissive, so I am talking out of the side of my mouth, but, I have heard that CBT - particularly the 'putting the cock in tight bondage' type thing is not recomended for solo play.

katie978 -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/21/2008 9:26:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske I am not a male sub nor female submissive, so I am talking out of the side of my mouth, but, I have heard that CBT - particularly the 'putting the cock in tight bondage' type thing is not recomended for solo play. Sssh...you're interrupting his fantasy with stupid pointless reality!

undergroundsea -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/21/2008 9:33:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz and besides, if I mess up, they are less likely to notice. [:D] Yeah but you have to be disciplined and make sure you don't say oops or oh shit. ;-) Cheers, Sea

HeavansKeeper -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 1:09:03 AM)
In every field, this happens. People get more experienced, and eventually it becomes difficult to be an amateur. Pro's (not Pro-dommes, I mean well experienced people) don't want to "waste their time" teaching, so the information gap stays constant. When this happens in online video games, the secret is to play with other amateurs. I suggest looking local next generation groups. A quick note, the "Famous Overnight" theory states that if you see a name and forget it, then see it again later, you will be more likely to think that person is famous. People you meet while romping with "fakers" and "amateurs" and "newbies" and "greenies" and "starters" will carry your name. Eventually, you'll be looked at as a known and trusted individual. (or a stunning waste of time, depending on how people remember you.) You may want to try the pro-domme market. They usually are ok with people new to the lifestyle.

GreeneGoddess -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 8:33:25 AM)
I love novices - if they are sincere. I expect them to have taken steps to learn about the lifestyle, ponder what they want out of it, and have taken appropriate steps to make this a real time lifestyle for themselves. If they've been online forever and a day but done little to no r/t, or if they "just decided they are submissive", then I do not consider them sincere.

MsStarlett -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 8:44:42 AM)
I didn't think I wanted an inexperianced, much younger boy... until I gave one a try. I found a very good match for myself in Westie. He's young and eager to learn and to please. Some things that I freely admitted to never having tried before - like electrical play - we openly tried out together. We had a great time! It was actually pretty fun to try something new together. (No one is born knowing everything!)

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 8:45:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21 While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress. As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find! Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none. The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate. I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage. I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me. So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience? Thank you so much for reading my question [:)] I can't access your profile right now from the comp I'm on to see where you're from, but you may want to consider checking to see if there is a ClubFem near you -- going in as a club submissive and making yourself available for service during events gives the opportunity to experience a number of different types of play, and the policy is that you can always say "no" if you don't want to do a particular type of play or play with a certain femdom. Calla Firestorm

MsStarlett -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 8:46:44 AM)
The OP is in LA. Way over on the other side of the country from me. You West Coast Ladies will have to help him out.

thishereboi -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 10:46:11 AM)
Find some groups in your area and volunteer to help at things. After a while people will get to know you and you will get to know them. Take it from there and good luck.

AAkasha -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 10:58:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21 While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress. As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find! Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none. The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate. I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage. I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me. So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience? Thank you so much for reading my question [:)] Try going to some alternative/industrial dance clubs in Hollywood -- Perversion has a bondage room again. You'll find people both into the fashion of kink as well as a few kinky people as well. It sounds like you are looking for ladies who are cute and alternative and close to your age - that's probably the best place to start. But be cute as well. Dress appropriately and don't stare, and don't go alone - make sure you go with friends so you can avoid being 'weirdo alone guy in the corner' that all the ladies avoid. http://www.myspace.com/perversionhollywood Akasha

LotusSong -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 1:10:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21 While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress. As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find! Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none. The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate. I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage. I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me. So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience? Thank you so much for reading my question [:)] For me.. it never was about the submissive having experience.. but more of where his mind was at concerning it. I never chose a "do me" type. I'd choose one that wanted to know ME as a person and allowed me to know him. When a sub came to me in a fevered attitude of "need', it was a turnoff. What do you have to offer besides your body (and I'm not talking money of "tribute"). What is your personality like.. what are you good at? What would be of interest to another person? Are you witty? Industrious? That sort of thing.

iwantyounow21 -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 1:17:26 PM)
I really appreciate all of your advise! Thank you all so much [:)]

MistressDolly -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 2:27:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21 The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate. I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage. I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me. So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience? Thank you so much for reading my question [:)] Find a Woman who is attracted to you. If you can't, you are out of luck, unless you pay for it. Or, find a bi/gay top male.

MmeGigs -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 5:56:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi Find some groups in your area and volunteer to help at things. After a while people will get to know you and you will get to know them. Take it from there and good luck. A big yep on this. Volunteering is the best and quickest way to get in with the folks who are the movers and shakers and get some real experience. Hubby and I went from total nobodies to sought-after members of our community in less than a year because we were willing to pitch in and help out.

LotusSong -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 6:34:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDolly quote: ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21 The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate. I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage. I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me. So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience? Thank you so much for reading my question [:)] Find a Woman who is attracted to you. If you can't, you are out of luck, unless you pay for it. Or, find a bi/gay top male. The only problem with him going to male top is that their repetiors with male/male consists of "on your knees- suck my cock.. then my buddies'". My gut feeling is that he is hoping for something more than just that. But many guys will settle for what they can get, than what they want. This ends up being a "pass around" with no future. He becomes a doorknob- everybody gets a turn but no substance. Being 21- hormones override common sense. Better a Mr. Right-Now than cultivating himself for his Mz Right.

standupshaking -> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE (8/22/2008 7:48:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: undergroundsea quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz and besides, if I mess up, they are less likely to notice. [:D] Yeah but you have to be disciplined and make sure you don't say oops or oh shit. ;-) Cheers, Sea haha

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