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How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/21/2008 8:18:47 PM   
iwantyounow21


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline 		While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress.  As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find!  Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none.

The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate.  I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage.  I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me.

So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience?  Thank you so much for reading my question
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/21/2008 8:21:48 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Personally, I like to play with people who 'aren't' experienced. That way, I can do the things the way I like them done, and not have them bother me about how "Mistress so and so" does things. ... and besides, if I mess up, they are less likely to notice.  

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to iwantyounow21)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/21/2008 8:44:48 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Personally, I like to play with people who 'aren't' experienced. That way, I can do the things the way I like them done, and not have them bother me about how "Mistress so and so" does things. ... and besides, if I mess up, they are less likely to notice.  


lol so true, so true. I also like the inexperienced. I find a certain..arrogance among some of the experienced boys I have played with. I love the innocence of one who is eager to please and shows it in every little move he makes.

ETA: Gee I wonder if this is the reason I seem to attract much younger subs? <g>

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 8/21/2008 8:45:30 PM >

_____________________________





(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/21/2008 8:56:58 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		Usually, you have to kill rats and wolves along with finding the lost puppy for the occasional, gravity defyingly buxom innkeeper's daughter.

Sorry, been playing video games.

I would recommend finding your local scene and volunteer at every event and go to brunches and get your face and name out there as someone eager and willing to learn.


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/21/2008 9:06:36 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		I am not a male sub nor female submissive, so I am talking out of the side of my mouth, but,
I have heard that CBT - particularly the 'putting the cock in tight bondage' type thing
is not recomended for solo play.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/21/2008 9:26:51 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I am not a male sub nor female submissive, so I am talking out of the side of my mouth, but,
I have heard that CBT - particularly the 'putting the cock in tight bondage' type thing
is not recomended for solo play.


Sssh...you're interrupting his fantasy with stupid pointless reality!


_____________________________



"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"



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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/21/2008 9:33:08 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
and besides, if I mess up, they are less likely to notice.  


Yeah but you have to be disciplined and make sure you don't say oops or oh shit.

;-)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 1:09:03 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		In every field, this happens. People get more experienced, and eventually it becomes difficult to be an amateur. Pro's (not Pro-dommes, I mean well experienced people) don't want to "waste their time" teaching, so the information gap stays constant.

When this happens in online video games, the secret is to play with other amateurs. I suggest looking local next generation groups.

A quick note, the "Famous Overnight" theory states that if you see a name and forget it, then see it again later, you will be more likely to think that person is famous. People you meet while romping with "fakers" and "amateurs" and "newbies" and "greenies" and "starters" will carry your name. Eventually, you'll be looked at as a known and trusted individual. (or a stunning waste of time, depending on how people remember you.)

You may want to try the pro-domme market. They usually are ok with people new to the lifestyle.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 8:33:25 AM   
GreeneGoddess


Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		I love novices - if they are sincere.  I expect them to have taken steps to learn about the lifestyle, ponder what they want out of it, and have taken appropriate steps to make this a real time lifestyle for themselves.   If they've been online forever and a day but done little to no r/t, or if they "just decided they are submissive", then I do not consider them sincere.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 8:44:42 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I didn't think I wanted an inexperianced, much younger boy... until I gave one a try.  I found a very good match for myself in Westie.  He's young and eager to learn and to please.  Some things that I freely admitted to never having tried before - like electrical play - we openly tried out together.  We had a great time!  It was actually pretty fun to try something new together.  (No one is born knowing everything!)

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to GreeneGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 8:45:02 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21

While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress.  As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find!  Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none.

The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate.  I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage.  I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me.

So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience?  Thank you so much for reading my question


I can't access your profile right now from the comp I'm on to see where you're from, but you may want to consider checking to see if there is a ClubFem near you -- going in as a club submissive and making yourself available for service during events gives the opportunity to experience a number of different types of play, and the policy is that you can always say "no" if you don't want to do a particular type of play or play with a certain femdom.

Calla Firestorm


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to iwantyounow21)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 8:46:44 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		The OP is in LA.  Way over on the other side of the country from me.  You West Coast Ladies will have to help him out.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 10:46:11 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Find some groups in your area and volunteer to help at things. After a while people will get to know you and you will get to know them. Take it from there and good luck.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to iwantyounow21)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 10:58:52 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21

While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress.  As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find!  Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none.

The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate.  I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage.  I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me.

So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience?  Thank you so much for reading my question


Try going to some alternative/industrial dance clubs in Hollywood -- Perversion has a bondage room again.
You'll find people both into the fashion of kink as well as a few kinky people as well. It sounds like you are looking for ladies who are cute and alternative and close to your age - that's probably the best place to start.  But be cute as well. Dress appropriately and don't stare, and don't go alone - make sure you go with friends so you can avoid being 'weirdo alone guy in the corner' that all the ladies avoid.

http://www.myspace.com/perversionhollywood

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to iwantyounow21)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 1:10:44 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21

While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress.  As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find!  Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none.

The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate.  I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage.  I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me.

So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience?  Thank you so much for reading my question


For me.. it never was about the submissive having experience.. but more of where his mind was at concerning it.  I never chose a "do me" type.  I'd choose one that wanted to know ME as a person and allowed me to know him. 

When a sub came to me in a fevered attitude of "need', it was a turnoff. What do you have to offer besides your body (and I'm not talking money of "tribute").  What is your personality like.. what are you good at?  What would be of interest to another person?  Are you witty?  Industrious?  That sort of thing.


_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to iwantyounow21)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 1:17:26 PM   
iwantyounow21


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline 		I really appreciate all of your advise!  Thank you all so much

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 2:27:23 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21


The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate.  I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage.  I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me.

So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience?  Thank you so much for reading my question


Find a Woman who is attracted to you. If you can't, you are out of luck, unless you pay for it. Or, find a bi/gay top male.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to iwantyounow21)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 5:56:36 PM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
Find some groups in your area and volunteer to help at things. After a while people will get to know you and you will get to know them. Take it from there and good luck.


A big yep on this.  Volunteering is the best and quickest way to get in with the folks who are the movers and shakers and get some real experience.  Hubby and I went from total nobodies to sought-after members of our community in less than a year because we were willing to pitch in and help out.

< Message edited by MmeGigs -- 8/22/2008 5:58:22 PM >

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 6:34:50 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly


quote:

ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21


The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate.  I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage.  I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me.

So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience?  Thank you so much for reading my question


Find a Woman who is attracted to you. If you can't, you are out of luck, unless you pay for it. Or, find a bi/gay top male.


The only problem with him going to male top is that their repetiors with male/male consists of "on your knees- suck my cock.. then my buddies'".  My gut feeling is that he is hoping for something more than just that.  But many guys will settle for what they can get, than what they want.  This ends up being a "pass around" with no future.  He becomes a doorknob- everybody gets a turn but no substance.  Being 21- hormones override common sense.  Better a Mr. Right-Now than cultivating himself for his Mz Right.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/22/2008 7:48:43 PM   
standupshaking


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
and besides, if I mess up, they are less likely to notice.


Yeah but you have to be disciplined and make sure you don't say oops or oh shit.

;-)

Cheers,

Sea


haha

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 20
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