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The great want vs need debate - 8/22/2008 8:18:12 AM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		 
When we think about needs... they are things we must have to survive. One of websters definitions of "need" is : "a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism"

We often hear a great debate between what we want and what we need.

Most physcologist agree on the basic needs of a human. My question is this: Are your needs as a submissive or slave different than the basic human needs?
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RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/22/2008 8:33:03 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		As Abraham Maslow suggested, there is a hierarchy of human needs that goes beyond that which sustains an organism.  There are also what Maslow called "neurotic needs" but he did not include them in the heirarchy because they exist only in the mind of a specific individual, perceived as needs but are actually harmful rather than beneficial to the organism.  As far as I'm aware, a submissive person or a slave is a human being and would have the same needs as any other human.  YMMV



_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/22/2008 12:52:22 PM   
DelightnDevotion


Posts: 45
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		I agree.  My needs are the same.  But I sure do have some different, much more kinky, wishes. 

_____________________________

"Surrender yourself humbly;
then you can be trusted to care for all things."
Tao Te Ching, Chapter 13

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RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/22/2008 5:14:30 PM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DelightnDevotion
I agree.  My needs are the same.  But I sure do have some different, much more kinky, wishes. 


.... kinky wishes..    no... really?

(in reply to DelightnDevotion)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/23/2008 11:31:55 AM   
twistedEuphoria


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		No. My needs are not any different from most other human beings.

That being said, my wants in this life are what make me happy. My needs being met....shelter/food/air to breathe.... make me comfortable but not necessarily happy. I'm a selfish little bitch, I want to be happy. My wants at any given moment may change. However, there are the base wants that I need to make my life better.

Examples being, I want to not always get my way, I want to have sex, I want to be able to be a smart ass every now and then.

Without those things, all my needs would be met but I would not be happy. More or less...my wants make up a need. For me to be happy. :D

(in reply to goodpet)
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RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/23/2008 12:15:06 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Most physcologist agree on the basic needs of a human. My question is this: Are your needs as a submissive or slave different than the basic human needs?

Hmm, well, I don’t label myself as a submissive or a slave; despite what the profile label says :P. Some would label me a masochist; and I guess that’s about as close as it’s going to get for me.
Now, if I was to instead replace submissive/slave with masochist, my answer would be no, to a degree. There are certain things that I NEED in life to survive; the pain I receive from my masochistic side is one of those.

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RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/23/2008 1:33:46 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Mine has no "needs" around her submissiveness.  We are engaging in a M/s relationship because we happened into it and it happens to be working for us right now.  It's not very clear that either of us would pursue an assymetrical authority type relationship in the future should one of us die.  It's not even clear that we will still be doing M/s or even D/s 2 years from now.  All we know is we have huge dopey grins right now and that works for us.

My general feeling about needs and wants is that any individual can put as many or few things as they choose into the "need" category.  But it's important to remember that every thing in the "need" bucket limits your choices and constrains your actions.  So for me, at least, I try to keep the "needs" pared down to those things that I truly won't function well without... food/housing/some relationship with my wife/my sense of honor.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to IrishMist)
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RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/23/2008 2:02:18 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		There are things which I absolutely need to survive. They are included in the things that I need to thrive. Apples and applesauce. ::grins::

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/27/2008 6:18:48 PM   
shiazn03


Posts: 90
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		yes! lol!

well, not really when i think about the most basic levels of needs (food, clothing, companionship, etc.).  but thinking about sexual needs though, no, it's definitely not the same as the basic "normal" human needs...hm...did i totally stray off topic? LOL!

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/28/2008 9:22:45 AM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		Part of the basic needs for me includes what I absolutely Must have in a relationship in order to be Happy with the person I am with or with people in general.

The word "need" also places emphasis, sometimes we use the word "need" over "want" mainly because "want" seems to undermine our desire for whatever it is we need/want.

For example: I need my Master vs I want my Master.

Changes the meaning and tone, doesnt it?


_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to shiazn03)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/28/2008 10:54:57 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

As Abraham Maslow suggested, there is a hierarchy of human needs that goes beyond that which sustains an organism.  There are also what Maslow called "neurotic needs" but he did not include them in the heirarchy because they exist only in the mind of a specific individual, perceived as needs but are actually harmful rather than beneficial to the organism.  As far as I'm aware, a submissive person or a slave is a human being and would have the same needs as any other human.  YMMV




eyes,

now that is impressive, a hog rider that has read Maslow!!

CP

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/28/2008 11:43:55 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		When I talk about needs I mean the things I need to survive and thrive ... the things I need to bake the cake.
My wants and desires are the icing on that cake.

No relationship that ignores my needs would survive. I dont want to be in a relationship that ignores my desires.

I require my cake, with icing .... and I plan to eat every bite of it ...

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/28/2008 11:54:02 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		 I need the basics food, water,shelter and money.  Everything else is a want
I also both need and want my Master.   So my needs are a little different as a sub.
I am pretty easy to please.

Matt's littleone

< Message edited by littleone35 -- 8/28/2008 11:56:48 AM >

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/28/2008 11:55:18 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I am not as submissibe, but I'll answer anyway. Yes. Since most "normal people" if you're meaning non kinky don't need kink to be happy in their relationships, I w*ould say my needs are diffrent. I'd still say yes my needs are diffrent cause what you need I may pooh pooh and have absolutely utterly no need or interest in and vise versa for what I need, you may not need want or care about.

So yes. my needs are diffrent than other people's needs.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin


When we think about needs... they are things we must have to survive. One of websters definitions of "need" is : "a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism"

We often hear a great debate between what we want and what we need.

Most physcologist agree on the basic needs of a human. My question is this: Are your needs as a submissive or slave different than the basic human needs?

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/28/2008 12:06:04 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Clothes? Meh.

But shoes are absolutely  "a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of [this] organism."


_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/28/2008 12:15:33 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

As Abraham Maslow suggested, there is a hierarchy of human needs that goes beyond that which sustains an organism.  There are also what Maslow called "neurotic needs" but he did not include them in the heirarchy because they exist only in the mind of a specific individual, perceived as needs but are actually harmful rather than beneficial to the organism.  As far as I'm aware, a submissive person or a slave is a human being and would have the same needs as any other human.  YMMV




eyes,

now that is impressive, a hog rider that has read Maslow!!

CP


Thank you.  Yes, I am impressive.  Weather in the south....can't ride all the time and it's not a hog, it's a Heritage Classic Softtail which pretty much discribes what Master rides...me or the bike, same discription.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/28/2008 12:54:51 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I about fell over laughing at the mention of "nuerotic needs"

Is that related to pink unicorns?

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/29/2008 4:25:44 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I about fell over laughing at the mention of "nuerotic needs"

Is that related to pink unicorns?


*laughs*  I suppose someone who claims to "need" pink unicorns might be called nuerotic.  Of course Maslow was referring to something else.  I say I need a cigarette and my addiction reinforces that delusion of need but of course in reality it is a destructive behavior that needs to stop if I am looking out for the welfare of my body.  Therefore needing a cigarette is a nuerotic need as Maslow defines it.

On the other hand, do I need Master to hang weights on my nipples?  To us, it's a part of sexual intimacy which falls within Maslow's pyramid.  How's that for a justification/rationalization of wiitwd? *grins*

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/30/2008 1:52:10 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		What I need to survive is different than what I need to be happy in a relationship. I don't need a relationship to survive. But if in one, I have certain needs which must be met for the relationship to survive.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The great want vs need debate - 8/30/2008 1:54:59 AM   
NumberSix


Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		What I need, is enough air to breather;

what I want is you to give me yours too, knowing the risk; but freely; without let or hinderance.

6

_____________________________

"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 20
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