quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

...I guess my question is, how do you use/view the strap-on device? Is it a means of domination or a love-making, or perhaps both?

I'm just a curious outsider trying to get a good feel for the general goings on in the bedroom :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle

That we see strap-on play as a form of dominance (almost to the exclusion of other paradigms) is a testament to the way we see the penis.  We picture it as a tool of dominance to begin with, and to allow penetration is to submit.  I think that tends to be our default mindset, and it is expressed in many ways.  Just look around at the way developing male and female sexuality are seen and talked about.  Certainly, I can adopt the swagger of a coksure man when I don my dong, and it can make for a good mind fuck with someone who gets off on that.

However, for me, I much prefer to use it as a tool of pleasure, bonding, loving... to hold someone close to me, to gently prepare him or her, to kiss, and fondle... knowing that this person has allowed me to enter, has invited me.  To recall how I feel when I invite a lover's cock into my body - to transfer that into how I offer mine.  That we are so aroused as to literally ache for one another.  It is like exchanging gifts - a mutual sharing between partners.  I want it to be something that brings my partner to a place of feeling something very deeply, very emotionally - tickled with joy, flushed with arousal, touched, healed, loved, cared for.  This to me is the very best of what strap-on play can be.  And since there are no nerve endings in my silicone tool, I must focus on what pleasure I can give, not on what I can take - which is a distinct pleasure of its very own.

So, no, it needn't be about brutalizing your rectum and damging your sense of well being.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Do you desire a relationship with power exchange and/or kink, or do you simply desire a relationship with a very high level of intimacy?

Sometimes I see subs gravitating toward an idea of a femdom relationship being a sort of 'hyper intimate' love nest - devotion, adoration, affection, extreme intimacy.  And they could really do without the ass fucking, hair pulling, face slapping, bondage and S&M that many of us kinky people lust for.  Not that there's anything wrong with "femdom lite" per se - but really, you could TOTALLY expand your dating pool if you seek a spiritual level of love,  or a woman who demands and desires/deserves a very high level of devotion from her man - but she's not really kinky.

Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: abytchgoddess4u

Short answer?

Both...:)