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Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/23/2008 10:16:47 AM

purelea2003

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I'd like to know if any slaves or submissives out there are currently involved in 24/7 relationships stripped of sexual and BDSM behaviors. Examples of what I mean by BDSM behavior include enforced chastity, caging, humiliation. If so, has this been a long term relationship? Would you seek the same if the relationship ended?

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Ms Leah

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up." - Booker T Washington

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/23/2008 10:44:11 AM

twistedEuphoria

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Interesting thread.

There is punishment which involves a cage, and we get smacked with a belt every Sunday if we haven't completed the list of tasks that are assigned to us.

We really don't have a sexual relationship and for the most part there isn't much that much 'scene' interaction.

I've only been here a month, so no...it hasn't been a long-term thing thus far.

I'm not miserable here, there are things that I'm quite miserable about...but for the most part things are good.

If I were to ever leave this dynamic....I would not seek something similar to this in the context of the sexual and the 'scene' bit. Not the rest. The power dynamic is something I enjoy quite a bit. Taggard is very unwilling to bend on most things and I adore him for that.

That being said, I wouldn't trade what I have here currently for the world...no matter how much I bitch. :)

< Message edited by twistedEuphoria -- 8/23/2008 10:45:12 AM >

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/23/2008 3:57:44 PM

Mavis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

I'd like to know if any slaves or submissives out there are currently involved in 24/7 relationships stripped of sexual and BDSM behaviors. Examples of what I mean by BDSM behavior include enforced chastity, caging, humiliation. If so, has this been a long term relationship? Would you seek the same if the relationship ended?

Clarifying so you can get more answers to the question... Do you mean to suggest that all BDSM relationships would "normally" include enforced chastity, caging, and humiliation?

If that's the assumption, I'll just say that a lot of people have BDSM relationships that don't include any of those things. They have something else they consider "BDSM behaviors".

A couple (or a group even) can have no more than an agreement that One will drop by every Tuesday and snap a rubber band on your arm, read you the daily news, then share a pepsi.. That can be a "BDSM relationship".

Please post more if I misunderstood. :D
~Mavis

_____________________________

~ Mavis

none of this applies to me, i'm only playing with lables this week.

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/23/2008 4:36:32 PM

purelea2003

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Joined: 12/12/2005
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twistedEuphoria - thank you for your honest reply sharing your personal experience.

Mavis - those were just a few examples of activities often demanded (and I do mean demanded) when potentials reply to My profile. I agree with you that BDSM is as varied as it's participants.

_____________________________

Ms Leah

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up." - Booker T Washington

(in reply to Mavis)

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/23/2008 8:26:54 PM

michellerose

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Joined: 6/23/2006
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there are many people who live 24/7 service lives. they're called personal assistants, butlers, live-in nannies, chatelaines, housekeepers... you name it. they choose to serve someone in exchange for money or for a residence and a stipend. i do the same for Master. i serve Him, voluntarily, and in return, i get a place to stay, clothes when i need them, food when i need it, and some money every once ina while.

my mother was a traditional housewife in a very traditional household. she always served my father's plate first, got him his drink, etc. everything came through my father. (even though my mother IS a very opinionated and independently minded woman. )

now, if you're talking about a ROMANTIC relationship, i feel that there are plenty of those around too. but it's kind of unlikely you're going to find folks with absolutely no BDSM element to their relationships who frequent a BDSM chatroom. if someone is calling themselves a slave or submissive, chances are there is a BDSM element of some sort in that relationship.

i for one, would term any by-choice Power exchange relationship(outside religious dictates) a "bdsm" relationship. there are long stretches of time in which Master does not use me sexually, but i think that would then be under "chastity", right ? but then, if He IS using me sexually, then.. that falls under "sexual behaviors"... right? so... how exactly does one fit your description?

Master's ~melly

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/24/2008 4:21:24 AM

purelea2003

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michellerose: it's obvious to Me now I didn't word My question well. I'm simply trying to find out if there are slaves/submisssives out there in 24/7 relationships serving simply for the pleasure of service - not play or sex or monetary reward. If so are they happy and would they seek the same again? Am I seeking what does not exisit?

_____________________________

Ms Leah

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up." - Booker T Washington

(in reply to michellerose)

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/24/2008 4:27:12 AM

colouredin

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I am confused by what you are asking, you want someone who considers themselves to be submissive or slave but you dont want any bdsm activities involved? isnt that an oxymoron? That would mean no power exchange therefore they wouldnt be a submissive within that context.

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/24/2008 5:00:39 AM

lronitulstahp

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quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

michellerose: it's obvious to Me now I didn't word My question well. I'm simply trying to find out if there are slaves/submisssives out there in 24/7 relationships serving simply for the pleasure of service - not play or sex or monetary reward. If so are they happy and would they seek the same again? Am I seeking what does not exisit?

So, like a no strings housework, service-based relationship....but 24/7???

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/24/2008 1:11:34 PM

purelea2003

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Joined: 12/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I am confused by what you are asking, you want someone who considers themselves to be submissive or slave but you dont want any bdsm activities involved? isnt that an oxymoron? That would mean no power exchange therefore they wouldnt be a submissive within that context.

The question is about anyone currently living a life of service only for the sake of service to a Master/Dominate/Owner. Not only about living it - but being happy/content in it. Yes, I would agree that is a BDSM element. I was attempting to indicate the removal of the "play" and/or sexual components.

To Ironitulstahp - yes, a no-strings housework - service based relationship - 24/7.

This question stems from replies I've received here on CM over the years. They generally set conditions. Some extreme examples are: being kept caged or shackled when not being useful or at night; kept in a chastity device; dressed up like a "sissy", collared, leashed and led through the mall. Some people may actually live that way and I say - more power to them. It's not Me though.

So, I'm beginning to think the answer is simply "no - not really." Maybe close but no cigar.

Thanks for the replies though. I appreciate the time and consideration given.

_____________________________

Ms Leah

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up." - Booker T Washington

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 9

RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/25/2008 2:34:09 AM

houseboy001

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This is an interesting thread!!! A a service oriented submissive my pleasure is derived from doing the tasks assigned to the best of my ability. It is with pronounced awareness that the wishes of the Dominant(s) are anticipated. If sex is part of the assignment or duty then so be it, and accomplish the same task with the same 'best of ability' directness. Also feel honored that the Dominant has allowed such a service to be performed. If no sexual contact is required that it is still a pleasure to do the job at hand and do it well!!

(in reply to purelea2003)

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/25/2008 7:43:10 AM

littleone35

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I am a bit confused is not sexual service, service?

Matt's littleone

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/25/2008 9:40:42 PM

Mavis

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Ok, i think i see where you're at with this.   Looking for a service position without the S&M play or sex stuff? While it's not the norm, there are plenty of folks out there that don't incorporate all aspects of "BDSM" in all their relationships... examples:

My Husband and Dominant (27 yrs this month) is a fully empowered 24/ 7 D/s relationship. But His personal choice is to not do any form of "S&M" play. Except for the occasional "good game" spank after a Seahawks game, or tickle-wrastling, which just seems like fun play to Him. There is no impact play, restraints play, "session" type stuff. Since we as a couple, have a poly background, i am free to seek other outlets for casual S&M or sexual play, but i haven't pursued that much.   Since this is my romantic relationship, the D/s is secondary, but is a very important part of our marriage. But because it IS my romantic relationship, i need reciprocal stuff that i couldn't expect from (my version of) Master/slave.

My other is a Master/slave relationship, which is long distance, and that includes dungeon play in a public setting, but since that couple doesn't have a poly background, sexual service or sexual play is not a part of our "S&M" activities.   This one i do for the pleasure of serving, the leadership, the adherance to a standard, practicing and enjoying obediance for obediance sake.. it meets all my slave needs, and doesn't require sexual outlet for that to feed me pudgy. He does it because it gives Him an outlet to groom and guide and teach, as well as get a few tasks handled by an assistant without romantic ovetones.

There are M/s pairs out there who are mixed-gender gay. One example, the Master is a gay man, with His own gay male partner, but His slave (in-house, 24/7) is a lesbian female. Service and companionship are the core of their relationship, and sexual needs or S&M needs are met in other ways.

So, yes. You can do service only if that's your need. Or Romance and service. Or Service and S&M. or ..or..or. Mostly, if you find a match that works right now and is suitable for your current needs, don't fret overmuch about "how long can this make me happy".. because as soon as you have your future all lined out just so.. along comes that bus people get hit by.

(Yes, i know.. most people expect to have an all-in-one of romance and power exchange and some wouldn't think of serving a Master that isn't also a love interest. Just pointing out that for some of us, romantic love isn't the focal point of M/s.)

_____________________________

~ Mavis

none of this applies to me, i'm only playing with lables this week.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 12

RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/26/2008 6:31:14 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

I'd like to know if any slaves or submissives out there are currently involved in 24/7 relationships stripped of sexual and BDSM behaviors. Examples of what I mean by BDSM behavior include enforced chastity, caging, humiliation. If so, has this been a long term relationship? Would you seek the same if the relationship ended?

for 3 years I was involved in a power exchange relationship - whereby I lived under orders and expectations 24/7 - but other than one brief visit a few months ago there was no sexual or physical kink between the two of us because we lived 10,000 miles apart. I wouldn't look for another relationship exactly like that, because obviously it didn't work out for me. It has taught me however that BDSM relationships do not need to be based on sex, or love, or on play. That BDSM is not limited to physical activities, nor should they be excluded.

A relationship with no BDSM or sex ... sounds like a vanilla platonic friendship to me ...

a little clarity might be brought about if you said .. relationships with not sado masochistic or sexual activities ... because it sounds rather like the BD and DS parts of BDSM are still present.

edited to add

so you want someone in your house who will keep house for you 24/7 but not expect any "kinky" or sexual payment? Sorry to be blunt, but this is something that has been on my mind recently
Hire a bloody housekeeper ... save everyone the pain and heartache

< Message edited by softness -- 8/26/2008 6:34:37 AM >

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/26/2008 6:41:57 AM

chamberqueen

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From: Kalamazoo, MI
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I have been approached by a couple of men in the past year who were looking for exactly that type of relationship, but it seems pretty rare.

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/26/2008 7:01:46 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

michellerose: it's obvious to Me now I didn't word My question well. I'm simply trying to find out if there are slaves/submisssives out there in 24/7 relationships serving simply for the pleasure of service - not play or sex or monetary reward. If so are they happy and would they seek the same again? Am I seeking what does not exisit?

Are you going to feed them? Clothe them? Take care of medical bills? If this is a 24/7 position, then I am guessing they wouldn't be able to have a job to take care of these needs, but you said no monetary reward so who is going to support them. According to your profile you don't make a lot of money, so where will it come from?

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/26/2008 8:30:20 AM

Surrenderwithin

Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

I'd like to know if any slaves or submissives out there are currently involved in 24/7 relationships stripped of sexual and BDSM behaviors. Examples of what I mean by BDSM behavior include enforced chastity, caging, humiliation. If so, has this been a long term relationship? Would you seek the same if the relationship ended?

In some ways I feel as if I am..... however, deep down I know that isnt true. I cannot imagine ever being able to submit to another should anything ever happen to Master. Although through much loss and experience in life, in general, I know that time does dull pain and change things. I think, in time, I would try something different. Not because I want something different but because nobody will ever be able to replace my Master and in a similiar situation they would have to be able to meausure up to him and live in his shadow. That would be wrong to ask or expect of anyone... so I would have to have a completely different dynamic at the end of the day,.
Maggi

(in reply to purelea2003)

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/26/2008 9:20:21 AM

sunshinemiss

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Hello leah,

Let's see... where to begin?

You say ... I prefer a male between 25 & 40 over 5'10 in height and in excellent health.

but you are 51 and obviously not in excellent health.

and I insist you make the trip for a preliminary meeting within 2 weeks of being invited.

so folks who want to get a decent rate for a flight are obviously out.

and Either you want to come and leave everything behind you - or you don't.

Well ok that's fair, but ummm, I wouldn't take a job with somebody with this kind of teaser let alone a 24/7 position.

and I make under 20K a year - I'm poor -

So, this guy is not gonna be able to work cause he's serving you 24/7, and you got no money. Who is paying for his $500 per month insurance? hmmm?

You say all this stuff and give absolutely zip about what you have to offer.

Your pix show you aren't very tidy and you have lots of fantasy posters on the wall. hmmmmm.

and the Final point is...

You say... the ONLY thing you live for is web surfing.

Happy Hunting.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 8/26/2008 9:23:00 AM >

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/26/2008 11:23:17 AM

purelea2003

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Joined: 12/12/2005
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Well - that was all very interesting. Thank you to those that answered My question concerning their own experiences and those that took the opportunity to attack. Both were learning experiences.

Obviously if I'm lacking in resources, untidy and in poor health, I'm greatly in need of a slave. A sex toy or whipping post might not do Me much good - but a slave could be a big help. Why would they want to help? That's what I was trying to find out. Does anyone actually do it simply for the sake of being useful?

Again - the predominate answer appears to be - not really. Some people have - but most wouldn't do it again.

_____________________________

Ms Leah

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up." - Booker T Washington

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/26/2008 12:15:30 PM

phoenix92901

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Joined: 9/9/2007
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I don't know if this qualifies but here's my story.

I'm in a relationship with my Sir. We don't live near each other but talk every day on the phone and manage to see each other whenever possible. We planned on moving in together this summer. However, he became ill in May... turns out he'll need surgery soon. Thank goodness, it's not as serious as I was afraid.

Because he's in almost constant pain, there is no sexual activity when we're together, let alone any "BDSM" activity. I'm happy to serve him in other ways. True, it's not 24/7 but I wouldn't feel any differently if we were living together. I don't consider him any less dominant just because he can't chain me to his bed. He has my love, respect and trust.

We're looking forward to when he's recovered and we can proceed with our plans. I do believe this "bump in the road", though, has brought us even closer together.

_____________________________

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. John Lennon

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RE: Nothing but 24/7 service? - 8/26/2008 12:21:25 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Keep in mind, not every ones relationships include those specific things mentioned. I don't have enforced chastity in my relation, humilation nor do I/ we engage in caging. But we still do other things that fall under bdsm and kinky stuff.

And yeah right now, we're pretty much non sexual and I'm not getting any bdsm play from him, Yes we've been together almost 3 years, and no i'd never seek to be non sexual and no play in the next relationship. Hell I didn't seek to be this way in THIS relationship either, but it's just the way things are working out. And I hope will soon change.

quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

I'd like to know if any slaves or submissives out there are currently involved in 24/7 relationships stripped of sexual and BDSM behaviors. Examples of what I mean by BDSM behavior include enforced chastity, caging, humiliation. If so, has this been a long term relationship? Would you seek the same if the relationship ended?

(in reply to purelea2003)

Post #: 20

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