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eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 5:31:51 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hello, and thank you in advance for your time reading and hopefully responding.
OK here goes....*Deep Breath*
I have noticed that when scening, I can not for the life of me look into the eyes of whom ever is topping me. I try, but it is uncontrollable, like there is some "force" keeping me from doing so.  The closest i can ever get is looking up side eyed, and through my hair, and that is when the top forces me, then it becomes unconfortable.  I truly struggle with this.  Sooooooooo, was wondering if anyone else out there has ever encountered this OR has gone through this as well........ I do love blindfolds (heh, no shit)  Also if i keep my eyes closed (no blindfold) it never gets uncomfortable.  Thanks again!

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!
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RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 5:38:47 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I tend to prefer to keep my eyes closed when I'm bottoming.. it lets me focus on sensations better. Being MADE to look at the top annoys me rather than makes me uncomfortable.. annoys me because it takes me out of my focus

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to girlivy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 5:41:52 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I prefer to focus on the sensations and the sound of my Owner's voice.  So, more often than not, my eyes will be closed.  This is not a problem for us, as they are open every now and again just as well.

DV's Fox

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 5:48:34 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks, i am really fine with me eyes closed, it is just when a top wants me to look at them, i can't willingly (not yet anyway) so i do feel a tad of disapointment in myself..
Perhaps i should get a pair of those glasses that make it appear to have ones eyes opened! 

< Message edited by girlivy -- 8/25/2008 5:50:14 PM >

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 6:02:50 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!
I most always keep them closed as I cannot even look anyone in the face. When I go out, I always wear my sunglasses to avoid making eye contact. Do not worry about it, it may come or it may not.
I just had to laugh at your glasses comment, llike that movie Parenthood? Where Todd (Keanu Reeves) puts them on?? Too funny.
Love,
Zechriel

_____________________________

Sir HighlanderME's little z

(in reply to girlivy)
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RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 6:04:13 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*picturing the scene...top forces bottom to look at them, in the midst of some intense impact play...and bottoms googly eyes pop out of glasses frame and bounce on springs*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to girlivy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 6:06:18 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's best not to make declarative statements until you've been actively involved in relationship and kink situations for at least a year or two.  The things you say you can't/won't/don't want to NOW always seem to bite you in the ass later.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 6:06:35 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zechriel

Good evening!
I most always keep them closed as I cannot even look anyone in the face. When I go out, I always wear my sunglasses to avoid making eye contact. Do not worry about it, it may come or it may not.
I just had to laugh at your glasses comment, llike that movie Parenthood? Where Todd (Keanu Reeves) puts them on?? Too funny.
Love,
Zechriel

*giggles* That was a funny moment in the movie! Eye contact just is not my thing too.

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to Zechriel)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 6:09:03 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*picturing the scene...top forces bottom to look at them, in the midst of some intense impact play...and bottoms googly eyes pop out of glasses frame and bounce on springs*


OMG!!! HAhahahaaa!! BOING!!!!

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 6:12:35 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It's best not to make declarative statements until you've been actively involved in relationship and kink situations for at least a year or two.  The things you say you can't/won't/don't want to NOW always seem to bite you in the ass later.

The willingness is there, just the ability for some reason is not.... Thank you for your advice :)

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 6:39:14 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I can't (currently) keep mine open. Never have been able to during sex, and I can't during play. The visual stream is a distraction, it overwhelms me. I vaguely remember times when they were open, but I couldn't make sense of the input at the time. The one time he insisted, it totally disrupted the physical input and hurt like hell! I think that may have been the point, I never asked.
I don't know if it's related, but I also can't speak at really physical times. About the best I can come up with is a steady stream of cursing in more extreme circumstances. I've heard of people counting and such, but that possibility really astounds me.
Now whether I could learn or not, I have no idea. It's not worth it to me; if it becomes worth it to him, I guess we'll see.
I do want some goggles, if anyone finds some!

(in reply to girlivy)
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RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 7:14:29 PM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes
I've heard of people counting and such, but that possibility really astounds me.


God, I've hated counting out strokes when I had to - it distracted the hell out of me and rather than keeping me in the scene I couldn't enjoy it one bit.  Same thing with eye contact - I'm able to take so much more and float with my eyes closed.

Looking at it from the reverse POV, there are Doms who are into eye contact restriction ... mine prefers my eyes closed or downcast or blindfolded, all the better for me. 

(in reply to mbes)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 7:18:29 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*nods in agreement re: not being able to talk..*

about all I can get out when I'm in the zone is please... if someone wants me to actually form a sentence, coherent or not, it pretty much immediately snaps me out... and soon, the word ENOUGH (meaning thats it I'm done) will follow.


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to NeedingMore220)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 8:03:51 PM   
twistedEuphoria


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		I do the same thing! It weirds me out to look into the persons eyes. It's as if it's impossible. I'll do anything to avoid eye contact while being beat. However, this happens during sex as well. Maybe it's an intimacy thing. It's just too much for me. I can't for the life of me, tell you why this happens. Maybe I'll find out one of these days.

Until then, you are most certainly not alone!

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/25/2008 8:16:23 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedEuphoria

I do the same thing! It weirds me out to look into the persons eyes. It's as if it's impossible. I'll do anything to avoid eye contact while being beat. However, this happens during sex as well. Maybe it's an intimacy thing. It's just too much for me. I can't for the life of me, tell you why this happens. Maybe I'll find out one of these days.

Until then, you are most certainly not alone!


See, that is what i was wondering too about it being an intimancy thing.... the eyes are the windows to ones soul...
it also hapens with sex too. It is like something else is controlling my eyes at that time, and no matter what it just will not allow my eyes to focus on anothers... I can make eye contact with others at work and in conversation.... *shrug*   friggin weird!

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to twistedEuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/26/2008 5:58:43 AM   
CaSlut


Posts: 10
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline 		Oh no, eyes are the mirrors of the soul.  Some of the hottest scenes I can remember is staring into Mistrss Jaid's eyes as she controlled me.  I could literally fall into them, they are so beautiful.

(in reply to girlivy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/26/2008 6:10:17 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlivy

Hello, and thank you in advance for your time reading and hopefully responding.
OK here goes....*Deep Breath*
I have noticed that when scening, I can not for the life of me look into the eyes of whom ever is topping me. I try, but it is uncontrollable, like there is some "force" keeping me from doing so.  The closest i can ever get is looking up side eyed, and through my hair, and that is when the top forces me, then it becomes unconfortable.  I truly struggle with this.  Sooooooooo, was wondering if anyone else out there has ever encountered this OR has gone through this as well........ I do love blindfolds (heh, no shit)  Also if i keep my eyes closed (no blindfold) it never gets uncomfortable.  Thanks again!



girlivy,

Well you opened my eyes in the sense that I have never recognized that there are apparently so many with this syndrome.

Fortunately, I have never come across it before. Eyes are the windows to the person and without them, for me, it is not a agood interaction.

CP 

(in reply to girlivy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/26/2008 6:49:24 AM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I have struggled with it on occasion.  I'd say it's definitely a fear of intimacy.  You're in a vulnerable emotional state as well as vulnerable physically.  Keeping your eyes closed allows you to keep that to yourself.  Being forced to look means you have to share.

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to girlivy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/26/2008 6:52:08 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaSlut
Oh no, eyes are the mirrors of the soul. 


And that is exactly why so many people have an issue with the "eyes open" thing. They are afraid to let that dominant "see" what lies there....they are afraid to "see" what lies behind the eyes of that dominant. During play that window opens wider and much more can be seen. It is intensely personal and intimate. If I were with a dominant who I felt I could not allow to view me that way, it would tell me that I was either with the wrong dominant altogether...or that there was an issue of me not fully giving myself...holding that part of me back. Of course...it is also dependent upon time and trust established. It is not something I would wish to engage in with a play partner....but in a committed relationship?...oh yes...I want to be explored in that way and also explore all I can.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 8/26/2008 6:53:07 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to CaSlut)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: eyes NOT wide open....... - 8/26/2008 7:02:30 AM   
krstnad


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/21/2008
Status: offline 		I encounter the same issue when it is requested I look into his eyes. I can't do it. It distracts me from the sensations I am feeling. I also know that it is a bit psychological as if I convince myself I am angry at him, I can challenge his stare.

I get you.

(in reply to girlivy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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