RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (Full Version)

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windchymes -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 10:54:47 AM)

And the irony of my own post comes crashing down around me [:D]




CalifChick -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 11:06:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

then, if you are not interested, a simply reply of "No thank you" would be the appropriate and civilized thing to do.  Chances are (though just guessing from my own experience) that a good submissive will accept that as "good enough" and move on.  If someone does whine and persist after that, then the "ignore" button is just as easy and quick to hit now as it would have been the first time.


And that's where the whole plan falls apart.  Refusing to engage from the get-go avoids interactions with people who quickly become crazy.

Just like I can get a restraining order on my ex if I choose, instead, I choose not to engage in his craziness (well, I try, and most of the time I am successful).


Cali




KatyLied -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 11:51:09 AM)

quote:

a simply reply of "No thank you" would be the appropriate and civilized thing to do.


Why?
So they can respond with things like:  "please" or "why don't you want to know me better?" or "do you chat?"  or "here's my number XXX-XXX-XXXX, please call me" or better yet "you aren't a real sub" or "you're a bitch" or "you are fake otherwise you'd want to meet a true master" (that one's almost worth the effort in order to reply/block his sorry ass).




Briena -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 12:00:46 PM)

Ignoring you would be a respectful way of replying to you when it comes to me.  If you got ignored you got lucky.  Otherwise I will gladly point out what an idiot you are for even emailing me in the first place if you A: didnt read my profile, B: Didnt see the words "FUCK OFF" in my profile, and C: once again DID NOT READ MY PROFILE! 

If someone ignores you, and doesnt send a reply, who cares?  Move along to another person.  If you are noticing that youre being ignored on a constant basis than you should look at what YOU are doing to get such treatment.  Stop bitching about things you have no control over. 




drawntothedark -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 12:09:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

quote:

I don't so you will have to find someone who does and ask her?

That’s because you’re a woman, everything comes easy to you.

REALLY? How did you come up with that brillant life lesson?




E2Sweet -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 12:18:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

...Time for a reality check, is it because their expectations are dysfunctional for the majority? No matter who you are man/woman, if your expectations are dysfunctional for the majority, ITS YOU WITH THE PROBLEM, not a lot of the offers you get.


I'm honestly still not understanding what posting about this issue over and over is going to get you. Based on the replies you're getting, it's obviously diminishing your chances of getting a fair shot each time you rant, so why not just accept it for what it is?

I maintain the stance that the less time spent ranting about an issue that's clearly not going to go away is more time that can be spent doing something more productive... Like searching out a compatible dominant... or perhaps even learning ways to improve your chances the next time you reach out to contact a dominant.

Edited for grammar - Maybe my chances would improve if I would take a bit more time to proofread! [;)]




wellysub -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 12:43:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

For a average male sub to get a reply, his email and profile has to stand out from most male subs to qualify the interest of most dommes. A male sub has to be extra interesting or extra intelligent than most average men next door to be worthy enough. But how many dommes have the capability or status of standing them selves out from most dommes and being extra interesting and intelligent than most average women next door? It also seems that bi sexual women will more easily give an average woman a chance who doesn't stand her self out from the rest.

Yes, it is rude to place your self above the other gender, unfortunately, 99 percent of the dommes do on this site."

To me, it would be weird if a Dom/me didn't place themsleves above you - what exactly do you think the Dominant partner does/is? To me, it sounds like you have a huge amount of anger, and disrespect for exactly what you say you are seeking to find. I would not expect a respectful or interested response from Doms on this site if all I did was bitch about men and Doms having it 'easy' and being 'rude.'








rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 1:04:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

For me, it depends on the message -- there are several that I won't answer, the top one being if you've clearly not read my profile.  Also, if the message is from someone overseas, someone way too young, without a photo, or just one line.  All of those would also indicate you haven't read my profile.

For the most part, I try to say 'no thanks' but sometimes, its very clear its just going to cause a barrage of rude emails so I don't bother.

It would be nice to always get a response, but the fact is, no one owes anyone a response to an unsolicited email.


Unsolicited is receiving a phone call from a telemarketer trying to sell you auto insurance.  If you post a public ad seeking offers on auto insurance it is not unsolicited.




rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 1:15:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

I've noticed that most Dommes that I send messages to on CollarMe completely ignore me. Am I crazy in thinking this is an incredibly rude way to treat someone who just sent you an honest, heartfelt message expressing an interest in you?

Given that your recent posts include the statements that (1) any prodomme is not really a dominant woman, and (2) a dominant woman who does not want a drug-using sub in her life is someone unworthy of service, I have no trouble believing your email contact with dominant women could be seen as arrogant and snarky.  Why write back to some jerk who messages you out of the blue?

I have gotten a lot of responses to emails I have sent.  Frankly, I attribute my success to the fact that women are glad to read something from a man who does not have an attitude like yours.



Ah yes, Sir Galahan thunders into yet another thread to teach us poor peasants his charms with women.




RCdc -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 1:16:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

I've noticed that most Dommes that I send messages to on CollarMe completely ignore me. Am I crazy in thinking this is an incredibly rude way to treat someone who just sent you an honest, heartfelt message expressing an interest in you?


Ignoring you is a response.  Rude?  Not necessarily.
 
the.dark.




thishereboi -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 1:18:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

For me, it depends on the message -- there are several that I won't answer, the top one being if you've clearly not read my profile.  Also, if the message is from someone overseas, someone way too young, without a photo, or just one line.  All of those would also indicate you haven't read my profile.

For the most part, I try to say 'no thanks' but sometimes, its very clear its just going to cause a barrage of rude emails so I don't bother.

It would be nice to always get a response, but the fact is, no one owes anyone a response to an unsolicited email.


Unsolicited is receiving a phone call from a telemarketer trying to sell you auto insurance.  If you post a public ad seeking offers on auto insurance it is not unsolicited.


This is true, however all the junk mail I get from roofing companies and siding salesmen will still be ignored.




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 1:19:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

I've noticed that most Dommes that I send messages to on CollarMe completely ignore me. Am I crazy in thinking this is an incredibly rude way to treat someone who just sent you an honest, heartfelt message expressing an interest in you?

Given that your recent posts include the statements that (1) any prodomme is not really a dominant woman, and (2) a dominant woman who does not want a drug-using sub in her life is someone unworthy of service, I have no trouble believing your email contact with dominant women could be seen as arrogant and snarky.  Why write back to some jerk who messages you out of the blue?

I have gotten a lot of responses to emails I have sent.  Frankly, I attribute my success to the fact that women are glad to read something from a man who does not have an attitude like yours.



Ah yes, Sir Galahan thunders into yet another thread to teach us poor peasants his charms with women.

jealous?




rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 1:28:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Red has a good point here.  I'll follow it with a second one.

How much unsolicited mail do you get at home?  Do you receive advertisements from cell phone companies when you are already quite satisfied with your phone service?  Do you get letters about home owners insurance when you rent an apartment?  How about things from your local Republican candidate for the Senate when you are clearly a Democrat?

Guess what?  That unsolicited mail that you receive at home is just like folks who haven't bothered to read a profile, and contact people who are obviously a bad match.  Personally, I have a few key things in My profile that make it very obvious for certain people to know that we are not compatible.  They mail Me anyway.  Now, please remember that the information is already available to them.  Why would it be necessary for Me to write it again in an email?  By the way, My general solution for this is to copy/paste those portions of My profile and say that they should read the profiles of the people they contact.

Back to the point.  Do you respond to all of the unsolicited mail you get at home for offers that you aren't interested in?  I'm willing to bet you haven't written back to any of the folks who have sent various forms of junk mail, newspaper circulars, credit card offers, or anything else that didn't interest you.



I just posted something before I read this, but I think it applicable.  If you have a public ad you are soliciting responses.  So you cannot claim the responses you get are comparable to junk mail, newspaper circulars, or credit card offers. 




rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 1:39:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

What’s the explanation for ignoring the subs who have compatible kinks and who looked at the domme’s profile and asked questions about it? Why do they still get ignored? The majority of dommes on here would get approached all the time. To say that the majority of male subs don’t read profiles or they email dommes with incompatible kinks is a silly excuse. The dommes on this site remain here for months or years while getting all these offers and not one of them offers are good enough?

Why is it socially acceptable to blame the majority of male subs for why things go wrong in this scene? As for, we are just vanilla trolls looking for sex, we don’t read profiles etc etc etc. But if a man blames the majority of dommes FOR ANYTHING why things go wrong, he is wrong regardless what explanation he has?

The way I see it, the dommes on this site are unappreciative, they have opportunities coming out of their ass and yet NOT ONE out of the 100s or 1000s of opportunities they get is still not good enough.

Time for a reality check, is it because their expectations are dysfunctional for the majority? No matter who you are man/woman, if your expectations are dysfunctional for the majority, ITS YOU WITH THE PROBLEM, not a lot of the offers you get.


Life is not fair.

The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will be ready for this whole real world thing.



A perfect example of what he just said.




rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 1:47:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

I've noticed that most Dommes that I send messages to on CollarMe completely ignore me. Am I crazy in thinking this is an incredibly rude way to treat someone who just sent you an honest, heartfelt message expressing an interest in you?

Given that your recent posts include the statements that (1) any prodomme is not really a dominant woman, and (2) a dominant woman who does not want a drug-using sub in her life is someone unworthy of service, I have no trouble believing your email contact with dominant women could be seen as arrogant and snarky.  Why write back to some jerk who messages you out of the blue?

I have gotten a lot of responses to emails I have sent.  Frankly, I attribute my success to the fact that women are glad to read something from a man who does not have an attitude like yours.



Ah yes, Sir Galahan thunders into yet another thread to teach us poor peasants his charms with women.

jealous?


No, mostly bored with hearing it. 




LadyPact -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 2:05:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Red has a good point here.  I'll follow it with a second one.

How much unsolicited mail do you get at home?  Do you receive advertisements from cell phone companies when you are already quite satisfied with your phone service?  Do you get letters about home owners insurance when you rent an apartment?  How about things from your local Republican candidate for the Senate when you are clearly a Democrat?

Guess what?  That unsolicited mail that you receive at home is just like folks who haven't bothered to read a profile, and contact people who are obviously a bad match.  Personally, I have a few key things in My profile that make it very obvious for certain people to know that we are not compatible.  They mail Me anyway.  Now, please remember that the information is already available to them.  Why would it be necessary for Me to write it again in an email?  By the way, My general solution for this is to copy/paste those portions of My profile and say that they should read the profiles of the people they contact.

Back to the point.  Do you respond to all of the unsolicited mail you get at home for offers that you aren't interested in?  I'm willing to bet you haven't written back to any of the folks who have sent various forms of junk mail, newspaper circulars, credit card offers, or anything else that didn't interest you.



I just posted something before I read this, but I think it applicable.  If you have a public ad you are soliciting responses.  So you cannot claim the responses you get are comparable to junk mail, newspaper circulars, or credit card offers. 

I have to disagree with this.  Most people mention in their public ad/profile the types of responses that they want to receive and what they are looking for.  Are you saying that just because someone has an active profile, it means that it is an automatic invitation to be contacted by people they have no interest in?




Madame4a -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 2:20:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

For me, it depends on the message -- there are several that I won't answer, the top one being if you've clearly not read my profile.  Also, if the message is from someone overseas, someone way too young, without a photo, or just one line.  All of those would also indicate you haven't read my profile.

For the most part, I try to say 'no thanks' but sometimes, its very clear its just going to cause a barrage of rude emails so I don't bother.

It would be nice to always get a response, but the fact is, no one owes anyone a response to an unsolicited email.


Unsolicited is receiving a phone call from a telemarketer trying to sell you auto insurance.  If you post a public ad seeking offers on auto insurance it is not unsolicited.


If you can't even come close to my criteria, you're unsolicited.




NovemberRainXo -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 2:22:19 PM)

I personally don't feel bad when someone ignores me. It really has nothing to do with me, but rather them. Obviously I'm not what they're looking for, and they personally want something else. Does that make me bad? No, just not what that person wants. However, I personally try to reply to everyone who takes an interest. Sometimes it can get difficult when you have so much mail, however. I think everyone who posted above me has said valid things as well.

Don't take it so personal. The way people treat you is just usually a projection of what they feel inside, onto you.





MizSexyVixen -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 2:30:12 PM)

I could never adequately respond to all the Email I get, I have to make choices.

I have good people who have had to Email me several times before they received a response. I was not intentionally ignoring them, merely prioritzing the time I have.

To the OP: It's time consuming  I know, but the more focused and in depth communications you send, the better response you will get.

Speak to me, I'll answer.





FatDomDaddy -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 2:30:49 PM)

FR here..

Why should anyone feel obligated to respond to an unsolicited e-mail, heartfelt or otherwise?  It is not rude to ignore, not read, delete or any way else one wishes to throw away an unsolicited e-mail. How about if we put it this way... Why make a subbie so special that every Domme he writes should be duty bound to reply?




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