RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (Full Version)

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Jeffff -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 7:37:30 PM)

Seems to me an "honest, heartfelt message", is being ignored in this thread...:)

Jeff



colouredin -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 7:37:43 PM)

I find it hard when the person shows no respect, i prefer to say something far more witty like "oh fuck off you twat" also I find it hard when I get literally two pages worth of messages a day when I am on here most of which are mass mails (if the idiot could be arsed to even write to me why should i bother writing back) actually though i have noticed the clever little tags, i just rotate the order in which i click them

"thankyou for your comment
                                                      
 regards colouredin"

and no talking about something and whining are differant for example "how hard is it to say no thanks" sounds rather bitchy as if you dont really want an answer you just want to moan had you started with "i was wondering if I was doing anything wrong" it sounds less whingy and more like you want an answer, OR heres a thought, you could have thought to yourself right im sending out  blank messages a day, from reading profiles i can see that women here are bombarded, right thats probably why i dont get a response to every single mail i send, never mind just means they arent interested so why do i need a response its just a waste of time, ill be mature and keep trying till i find someone who is.



stef -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 7:57:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

I am taking responsibility, it’s called having a spine.

You can try and spin it any way you like, but blaming other people for your behavior is not "having a spine."

~stef



Jeffff -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 7:59:07 PM)

Awwwwwww stef, you are gonna hurt someones heartfelt feelings....

Jeff



Briena -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 8:35:39 PM)

This is a total quick reply and is in no way a reply to Jeffff.....

Why the fuck would you allow your feelings to be hurt by anyone on a website that you dont actually know?  Why would you even get butt hurt if you didnt get a reply, or better yet got a reply telling you to go blow a goat?  I mean really... WHO CARES???  Do you know them?  Are you in a relationship with them?  Does their opinion actually matter in your stream of cosmic events that shatter your life to pieces?  It stupid really.  Their not replying to you should have no effect on your search for a partner... Just move on to the next one.  I mean thats what I always liked about the internet.  I could tell you to fuck off and theres nothing you can do about it.  Well you could block me but it doesnt matter because I told you to fuck off already.  There is nothing you can do about a chick ignoring your emails just as you have every right to ignore another chicks.  And guess what... THERES NOTHING SHE CAN DO ABOUT IT EITHER... Unless she wants to start a pitty party in a forum about how she got ignored... Oh wait you already started the pitty party :**(



rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 4:35:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



I just posted something before I read this, but I think it applicable.  If you have a public ad you are soliciting responses.  So you cannot claim the responses you get are comparable to junk mail, newspaper circulars, or credit card offers. 

I have to disagree with this.  Most people mention in their public ad/profile the types of responses that they want to receive and what they are looking for.  Are you saying that just because someone has an active profile, it means that it is an automatic invitation to be contacted by people they have no interest in?



If you have a public ad you cannot claim ANY response is unsolicited.  By the very definition of the word you are soliciting a response.  It may not be the response you want, it may not even be appropriate, but yes, you are sending out an invitation to be contacted.  Whether those inappropriate people are rude for contacting you or whether you are rude for not responding depends on the exact context.    



rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 4:53:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RayvenGoddess

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

For a average male sub to get a reply, his email and profile has to stand out from most male subs to qualify the interest of most dommes. A male sub has to be extra interesting or extra intelligent than most average men next door to be worthy enough. But how many dommes have the capability or status of standing them selves out from most dommes and being extra interesting and intelligent than most average women next door? It also seems that bi sexual women will more easily give an average woman a chance who doesn't stand her self out from the rest.

Yes, it is rude to place your self above the other gender, unfortunately, 99 percent of the dommes do on this site.


Wow, sounds like someone has tasted some sour grapes ...

We dominant women are not placing ourselves over anyone based on their gender.  We are trying to deal with the deluge.  I half-half wish that all of these people stating how they hate it that dominant women are rude to them for this and that would create a fake dominant woman's profile (not really though as there are already too many of those floating around ruining our reputation).  No pic, no description, just a plain profile and let them sit back and wait.  I swear to you that within the first day it will be physically imposible to write back to everyone, let alone even read them all.  As the account get older the emails per day trickle down, but it never goes away and by that time we are usually so jaded by our first few minutes on this site that you couldn't pay us to write back a "thanks but no thanks".

It is not a case of a few bad apples that ruin the reputation of the orchard; it is a bad orchard that ruins the chances of a few good apples finding someone to take a bite.




There are two sides to the coin though.  I wonder how many of the profiles of your fellow dommes you have ever looked at.  A large percentage are rude and insulting from the opening line, many more are only seeking "tribute" for the privilege of talking to them online, still many others are seeking "sugar-daddy" slaves (and yes that is a quote from more than one profile).  One notable profile on here brags in her opening line of the several hundred men she has blocked.  I mean, WTF?  Several hundred?  I find it hard to believe that isn't at least partially her fault.



rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 5:05:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

There are ways to talk about things without sounding like someone pissed in your wheaties.





[sm=sigh.gif]    If only someone would piss in my Wheaties.



Briena -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 5:07:45 PM)

I dont like wheaties...  :(



rulemylife -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 6:25:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Briena

I dont like wheaties...  :(


Now I know you don't mean that.  EVERYONE likes Wheaties.  It's the "breakfast of champions".



RedMagic1 -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 6:31:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

funny,I get replies about half the time. Even with one liners.

Careful.  I might have to call you Sir Galahad, and I bet that's one of the only things I could do that might get your goat.[;)]



Leatherist -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 6:34:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

funny,I get replies about half the time. Even with one liners.

Careful.  I might have to call you Sir Galahad, and I bet that's one of the only things I could do that might get your goat.[;)]



"Best Black Adder voice".......Peasant!    [:D]



Briena -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 7:57:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: Briena

I dont like wheaties...  :(


Now I know you don't mean that.  EVERYONE likes Wheaties.  It's the "breakfast of champions".


I like Frosted Mini Wheats... And Chex... Fruity Pebbles... Reeses Penut Butter Puffs... the ghetto Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the stuff in the big bag on the bottom shelf... But no Wheaties :(  I guess that means Im not a champion :*(.  WELL MY MOM SAID I WAS SPECIAL! [:'(]



GreedyTop -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/27/2008 7:59:05 PM)

Special K for me... sometimes SugarPops (or whatever theyre called now...)



ladyserenablue -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/28/2008 2:24:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

I just posted something before I read this, but I think it applicable. If you have a public ad you are soliciting responses. So you cannot claim the responses you get are comparable to junk mail, newspaper circulars, or credit card offers.

I have to disagree with this. Most people mention in their public ad/profile the types of responses that they want to receive and what they are looking for. Are you saying that just because someone has an active profile, it means that it is an automatic invitation to be contacted by people they have no interest in?



If you have a public ad you cannot claim ANY response is unsolicited. By the very definition of the word you are soliciting a response. It may not be the response you want, it may not even be appropriate, but yes, you are sending out an invitation to be contacted. Whether those inappropriate people are rude for contacting you or whether you are rude for not responding depends on the exact context.



I specifically say at the end of my profile to message me with the words "Lady Serena is an interesting person". When I open a message from someone I don't know and those words are not the first sentence, I automatically delete it. Should that name try again (and again fail to include the sentence), I block them.

I do solicit responses but if the responses do not include my filter sentence, I know they have not read my profile. Since they have proven they are incapable of following words on a screen, I have no further use for them.

However, while Collarme.com is a public site, the public cannot view my entire profile, images and journal. One has to sign up to be a member in order to do so. So I do not have a "public" ad inviting everyone to contact me. In fact, I do not reply to someone who does not have an active profile. And if they have few or no words in their profile and/or no images, I don't reply either.

Short answer:
I recognize several of the sour-grape inhalers in this thread. And of those who contacted me, NONE of them included the filter sentence. So I did not reply to them.


I have linked this thread in my journal. I wonder if it will help?



kittinSol -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/28/2008 2:42:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyserenablue

I recognize several of the sour-grape inhalers in this thread.



Sour-grape inhaling is seriously kinky. It takes a lot of nostril stretching to get there, but practice and lots of lube help, or so I've heard anyway.



colouredin -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/28/2008 2:43:42 PM)

ewwwww ewwww ewwww



kittinSol -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/28/2008 2:50:48 PM)

*Snort* (sorry, GreedyT).



DarkSteven -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/28/2008 3:06:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

funny,I get replies about half the time. Even with one liners.


Interesting.  My response rate is probably 10%-25%.





WyldHrt -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/28/2008 8:16:27 PM)

quote:

I've noticed that most Dommes that I send messages to on CollarMe completely ignore me. Am I crazy in thinking this is an incredibly rude way to treat someone who just sent you an honest, heartfelt message expressing an interest in you?

Female sub perspective- I really don't understand threads like this. What does getting a copy/paste "No thanks, I'm not interested" really do for you? I think it would be worse to log in and see that you have lots of mail, only to read one rejection after another, than to not get a response from those who don't see you as a match. If you are after a more personal response, I have to wonder why.

No answer = "no thanks". The simple fact is that some folks here simply get too much mail to respond to everyone, and attempting a "polite" rejection is often seen as an invitation to continue contact.

JMHO, YMMV



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