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Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 12:28:08 AM

Paulnz

Posts: 411
Status: offline

I read a comment earlier today that the word Domme is redundant and that Dom would be more accurate, that it didn't matter what gender the Dominant was. Domme, it was argued, is simply an internet word. This idea conflicts with my understading of the terms as they've evolved.

Back in the day, about 26 years ago, a pro-Domme friend corrected me for using the term Dominatrix. She insisted that the correct term was Dominatrice, and that it was a profession. There was a male equivalent, but I forget the term she used. My link below would probably identify it as Dominator. Outside of the profession the correct term was Top.

The term seems to have evolved something like this:-

Dominatrice - Dominatrix - Domme/pro-Domme - Femdom

For men, something like this:-

Dominator - Dominant - Dom - Dominate

At the point of origin it is a profession and as things evolve the role transitions to lifestyle and recreational.

Now I'm not prepared to die in the ditch over this, I'm simply putting this up for clarification and correction by you all.

The link;

http://www.europaic.com/articul_verbs_intro+conj1.html

- atrice Rare feminine form of -ator where the sex of the agent is considered important e.g. dominatrice dominatrix, imperatrice empress. As to pronunciation, there is a modest emphasis on the final i and the final e may be voiced (as in Italian) or not (as in English -ess or French -esse, -ice), according to taste.

Post #: 1

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 2:57:41 AM

Allondra

Posts: 68
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline

According to my Shorter Oxford, "dominatrix" is the female form of "dominator" ("dominatrices" is the plural -- there is no "dominatrice" listed). This falls in line with words like aviator/aviatrix -- but I can't think of any words we use in current conversational English that use the "trix" suffix, though, except for dominatrix. The dictionary doesn't say that either dominator or dominatrix is a profession, just someone (or something) that dominates.

The beauty of "dominator" and "dominatrix" is that they are nouns, which "dominant" (and "submissive") are not. I'm not sure, in your list above, what you mean by the evolution of the male term -- do you call a dominant male a "dominate"? To me, that sounds worse than just saying "dominant" (both, of course, are incorrect).

But then, I don't like the terms "domme", "femdomme", "mistress", blah, blah, blah (and the first time I heard someone say "dommay" I had a hard time keeping from laughing out loud). That's just me. People are going to use whatever words they have learned and are comfortable with.

(in reply to Paulnz)

Post #: 2

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 3:23:19 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I try not to get to worked up about labels. Although, it would be sort of a fun 'interrogation' scene to keep asking "What am I?" and whatever my boy answers is wrong. ;)

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Allondra)

Post #: 3

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 4:17:15 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I am simply Dominant.. thats all that matters..trice, trix, Domme, Dom.. are labels that allow others to define you.. I prefer to be who I am.. and define myself.

SD

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 4

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 5:04:21 AM

Paulnz

Posts: 411
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn

I am simply Dominant.. thats all that matters..trice, trix, Domme, Dom.. are labels that allow others to define you.. I prefer to be who I am.. and define myself.

SD

So, let me see if I've understood you correctly, if you were a truck driver and someone asked your occupation, you would say whatever you thought it was you did, even if they'd be left with no idea that you drove a truck ?

< Message edited by Paulnz -- 8/26/2008 5:05:05 AM >

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

Post #: 5

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 5:10:28 AM

Paulnz

Posts: 411
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Allondra

According to my Shorter Oxford, "dominatrix" is the female form of "dominator" ("dominatrices" is the plural -- there is no "dominatrice" listed). This falls in line with words like aviator/aviatrix -- but I can't think of any words we use in current conversational English that use the "trix" suffix, though, except for dominatrix. The dictionary doesn't say that either dominator or dominatrix is a profession, just someone (or something) that dominates.

The beauty of "dominator" and "dominatrix" is that they are nouns, which "dominant" (and "submissive") are not. I'm not sure, in your list above, what you mean by the evolution of the male term -- do you call a dominant male a "dominate"? To me, that sounds worse than just saying "dominant" (both, of course, are incorrect).

But then, I don't like the terms "domme", "femdomme", "mistress", blah, blah, blah (and the first time I heard someone say "dommay" I had a hard time keeping from laughing out loud). That's just me. People are going to use whatever words they have learned and are comfortable with.

Hmm, interesting.

By evolution I'm talking about what words get used. The term dominate pops up increasingly these days. While dom-ay sounds cringeworthy to my ear, the link to my surprise allowed the e to be sounded in dominatrice.

(in reply to Allondra)

Post #: 6

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 5:40:09 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't think my sex is that important.

If I were male, I'd still be dominant in my personality and kink preferences.

Therefore I use dom or dominant.

Anyone attempting to genderize me with an added "me" on the end is just as likely to get ignored or not depending on my mood and the content of the rest of their email or post.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Paulnz)

Post #: 7

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 6:09:53 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

If someone asked my occupation.. I would tell them what I do ... not who I am.. I dont use the term Mistress, Mistresse, Madame,Lady, Duchess, Goddess ad nausem I am simply "Jane, hello nice to meet you", ... If you cant figure out which side of the paddle Im on.. your not paying attention.. have a nice day. I also dont use appellations for those on the submissive side either.. slaveboy, subgirl, babyetc.. it seems slightly redundant to me.

SD

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 8

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 6:21:54 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Let us not forget the much beloved and revered, "Hey, you with the pie".

Otherwise know as the Domestic whom Domineers over their Dominion.

Usually found in a quaint Domicile in the Dominican Republic.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Paulnz)

Post #: 9

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 6:26:50 AM

Paulnz

Posts: 411
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn

If someone asked my occupation.. I would tell them what I do ... not who I am.

SD

What you do does have a part to play in who you are.

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

Post #: 10

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 8:11:20 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Who I am.. plays a part in what I do... my occupation is my career.. I am not a professional Dominant so I do generally go to work dressed in a corset .. nor do I go to work in a pair of riding boots... both are things I do.. but no matter what I am doing I am always DOMINANT.. its is part of my nature..if you get my drift.. I dont have to have a slave to be Dominant.. infact I may never have encountered bdsm and I would still be a DOMINANT.. I just happen to like to beat people.. if I never lifted a paddle I would still be a dominant female..While I maybe have been a truck driver at one point in my life I need not always remain so.. I will always be Dominant.. Ihope that helps you understand my position on this topic.

Sd

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to Paulnz)

Post #: 11

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 8:12:38 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Again Chia mocks me with the pie...

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

Post #: 12

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 8:29:14 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Again Chia mocks me with the pie...

chia's trying to turn you lesbian.... cream pie..yum.

oh and words are just words...who cares which one you use as there are tons of words used instead of Dom.

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Imperfect.

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 13

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 8:38:44 AM

UmbraDomina

Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline

My name is Alexandra, I am a sadistic minded dominant woman. My beloved hubbypet address's me as Mistress, I am his Mistress, while to the world I am not Mistress, only to the one(s) I own.
How do I introduce myself to someone, vanilla or kink? Hi, I'm Alexandra.
It makes me laugh when I hear people bestow title's on themself, when introducing themselves at a kink event..... hi I am mistressdarkshadowof the seventhrealm house of the red dragon. It makes me laugh when anyone thinks they have to proclaim themselves to be dominant or submissive when meeting people. If your dominant you don't need to scream it, proclaim it, or try to force others to use your title of choice. You simply are.
The made up internet slang "domme" a attempt to feminize a word that is genderless, and makes me ill to hear.

Alexandra ~

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 14

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 8:44:21 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Again Chia mocks me with the pie...

Get the door.

It's Dominos

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 15

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 8:44:54 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

:) I think I love you.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn

I am simply Dominant.. thats all that matters..trice, trix, Domme, Dom.. are labels that allow others to define you.. I prefer to be who I am.. and define myself.

SD

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

Post #: 16

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 9:11:02 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I will gladly stick with, LeeAnn.........orrrrrrrrr on here LaT.

The other stuff.........thats just silliness.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Paulnz)

Post #: 17

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 9:11:05 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

This discussion reminds me of something that I heard (Distraction read to me) yesterday. We were lying in the grass watching the planes take off and reading the local free rag with erotic ads. He said "oh, here you are, I knew you had an ad in here... " and it started out .. "I want to domme you ... " We were laughing about it, but I said ... the first reason you absolutely KNOW its not me is "I want to domme you... " I don't talk like that.

I actually prefer to be someone's Ma'am. I am not comfortable with Mistress -- occasionally I like Madame ... but domme or dom just seems an odd construction to me. I am a dominant sadist.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Paulnz)

Post #: 18

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 9:52:46 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

~fast reply~

I am a dominant woman. When I describe myself or my Darling, I typically describe us as "dominas" -- we are the heads of our own household, and the term domina is a term of English nobility indicating a woman who holds land in her own name (rather than in the name of a husband or on behalf of a male relative).

When I introduce myself to someone (even to submissive men who are contacting me via email), I am Calla or Calla Firestorm. Typically, I don't use my house appellation except in my initials, unless I feel very strongly about something (at which point it sort of becomes a non-verbal "so -there-!" *chuckles*) My Darling also uses her own name, sans any title.

To external parties, we are Keepers to our servants. To our servants, we are "Lady", "Goddess", or "Mistress" -- but we don't encourage people who are not under our juristiction to use those or any other titles.

Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 19

RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 11:44:11 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

:)) thank you my dear.. thats the nicest thing Ive had said to me today..

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 20

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