Singles Only!

Singles Only! (Full Version)

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subtee -> Singles Only! (8/26/2008 8:53:18 AM)
Ha. I see all you coupled people. It’s okay you can play too, but I’d prefer your responses are specific to the status of singlehood. I know you worship your Master and have found beatitude with your slave; that’s for another forum, please. It seems to me we are more likely to express satisfaction or even happiness with the circumstances in which we find ourselves. In other words, singles will express delight with being single, coupled folks will tell you it’s bliss to be together. So let’s get specific: Are you satisfied being single? Are you pining for a partner? If you feel like it, write to the statements below in detail. I am ready and available for commitment: I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a new relationship. I am happy and successful being single: I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends, and my own company. I am living the life that I want, and I am not seeking a relationship out of desperation and need. I know what I want: I have a clear vision for my life and relationship. I can envision my perfect life in rich detail that feels strong, very real, and keeps me motivated. I know my requirements: I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for me. I am satisfied with my work/career: My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle, and does not interfere with my availability for a new relationship. I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit: My physical, mental, or emotional health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good. My financial and legal business is handled: I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. My family relationships are functional: My relationships with my children, ex, siblings, parents, and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I have effective dating skills: I initiate contact with people I want to meet, and disengage from people who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries, and balance my heart with my head with potential partners. I have effective relationship skills: I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate authentically and assertively, negotiate difference positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable, and can give and receive love without emotional barriers. [http://www.raleighrelationshipcoaching.com/quiz/] More…(anything else you’d like to share)…and thank you

VirginPotty -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 9:49:58 AM)
Where's the choice that says, "Fuck 'em all"?

windchymes -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 9:52:24 AM)
For the first time in my life, over this past year, I have reached a point in my life, and maybe it's just a phase I'm going through, but I am actually happy and content being single. I'm not sure how it happened or exactly when it happened. I think it kind of crept up gradually till the light bulb finally flickered on. I think it was the last dating relationship that I had with someone--I met in here, actually, but on the other side, where we had a vanilla aspect of our lives in common, go figure. I liked him, we had a lot of fun together, I really enjoyed being around him and we had a lot of interests in common, but the physical attraction just wasn't there for me. I found myself just wanting to be at home with my dog and myself. I found myself not wanting to get dressed up and prim and preen to go out on a date. I found myself irritated at his frequent phone calls because they infiltrated in "my time". Come Saturday night, I really wanted to stay home and watch tv, and that's what I've been doing. Also, at the first sign of "crap" of any kind, I'm only too happy to walk away, not stay and hope for change like I used to. I wouldn't say I "pine" for someone, but I still like the idea of having someone in my life, and maybe it's just that no one has come along to knock my socks off, but my socks are still on and I like my feet warm. I like the idea of romance and yes, sex, but I guess my feeling is that I don't want to do the preliminaries, like meet for coffee to see if we like each other (assuming we're meeting from online contact), go out on dates, primp and preen, etc. I guess I wish I had someone to wake up with, share morning coffee with, do home improvement projects or outdoor projects with, cook dinner with, make out on the couch with. But I just don't want to do what I have to do to get to that point, lol. I'm really glad that I have reached this point or state or phase or whatever it is. Because not so long ago, I was almost desperate, and put up with "crap", as I mentioned earlier. I am such a happier and more content person because of it.

sirsholly -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 9:55:20 AM)
When i was single i could have quoted you pretty much verbatum (well...except for the functional family relationships...they are an obnoxious bunch). But there was just something missing...something that i wanted but was sure i could live without. And i could have, and been quite happy....up until the day i met him. He blew it for me.

subtee -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 9:56:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty Where's the choice that says, "Fuck 'em all"? Right. So everyone can also include "Fuck 'em all" Thank you!

cjan -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 9:56:44 AM)
Darn, and I was till pining for that shallow, meaningless sexual/ oral relationship. Ummm, we couldalso go to the movies , discuss books and I'd still cook for you, of course....and, and, don't forget the massages, tee. sigh [sm=cactus.gif]

subtee -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 9:59:11 AM)
This is awesome. What a cool feeling! Do you find that it makes you more attractive to others, this contentment? Right on, windchymes [;)]

VirginPotty -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 9:59:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly When i was single i could have quoted you pretty much verbatum (well...except for the functional family relationships...they are an obnoxious bunch). But there was just something missing...something that i wanted but was sure i could live without. And i could have, and been quite happy....up until the day i met him. He blew it for me. He blew IT for you? Dammmmmmmmnnnnn, you're a lucky slut!

subtee -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:01:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly When i was single i could have quoted you pretty much verbatum (well...except for the functional family relationships...they are an obnoxious bunch). But there was just something missing...something that i wanted but was sure i could live without. And i could have, and been quite happy....up until the day i met him. He blew it for me. [Emphasis added] Bastard! Make sure he suffers for that...or is really happy and satisfied. One or the other. (Pretty sure.)

sirsholly -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:01:11 AM)
[8\|] someone needs to smack you a good one

subtee -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:02:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cjan Darn, and I was till pining for that shallow, meaningless sexual/ oral relationship. Ummm, we couldalso go to the movies , discuss books and I'd still cook for you, of course....and, and, don't forget the massages, tee. sigh [sm=cactus.gif] You can pine for that, who says you can't pine for that? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmassages?

sirsholly -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:05:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly When i was single i could have quoted you pretty much verbatum (well...except for the functional family relationships...they are an obnoxious bunch). But there was just something missing...something that i wanted but was sure i could live without. And i could have, and been quite happy....up until the day i met him. He blew it for me. [Emphasis added] Bastard! Make sure he suffers for that... He does!! I make him eat my cooking every night!!!

KatyLied -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:09:52 AM)
I am open to finding a relationship, but I'm trying to sort out where exactly I fit on the D/s spectrum. I'm busy with life, exceedingly so, and that makes it difficult for me to pursue a relationship at the present time. I go through periods where I think a relationship would be nice. Then I hear about other people's relationships and have moments where I'm glad I don't have to put up with someone else's crap, because honestly, I don't have much patience for it. I've been in my happily single phase for some time now. I often wonder if that's how a normal 50 year old should be. I dunno. I can remember 3 years ago, being consumed with wanting to partner up and find the one. I'm glad I'm over that now.

windchymes -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:18:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee This is awesome. What a cool feeling! Do you find that it makes you more attractive to others, this contentment? Right on, windchymes [;)] Good question. To be honest, I feel less attractive physically than I've ever felt in my life. I still try to look my best every day, hair, nails, make-up, most flattering clothes. But I don't CARE if I FEEL unattactive. It's hard to explain. Maybe it's a "I'm doing my best here" kind of feeling, but physical changes due to aging are going to happen and I guess what I mean, rather than "I don't care" is that "I'm not stressing out over it anymore." Funny though, I recently started working in a different department at my workplace and have gone almost overnight from hating my job to loving my job, and there are two guys in there who actually seem to be slightly interested. One seems shy and nervous around me, though his body language (blushing, quickly fixing his hair, saying goofy things, getting tongue-tied) seem to hint at "I'm a little attracted". The other is a blatant flirt, which is kind of fun. That hasn't happened for awhile, but I kinda like it. [;)] I have wondered recently if my "happy vibe" from my new position is doing it? Or, am I just in a working environment with people in my own personality-type group?

windchymes -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:20:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I often wonder if that's how a normal 50 year old should be. I dunno. I can remember 3 years ago, being consumed with wanting to partner up and find the one. I'm glad I'm over that now. What she said [:)]

purepleasure -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:27:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty Where's the choice that says, "Fuck 'em all"? aha! slut

cjan -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:29:05 AM)
What would we be if we didn't pine for something ? Having said that, I find people who are happy and content to be attractive, yes. That is not the same, of course, as being passive in regard to our lives circumstances. Having been maried for 19 years ( we are still best friends ) , having been in a few comitted relationships, and having lived, at times, as a single person, I've found that my happiness and contentment do not depend so much on these circumstances as on how "succesfully" I live and manage my own life. It's always an inside job. Ummm, there was the time that I rode the roller coaster of hot monkey chemical attraction with a psycho bitch, of course, but, even then, I was aware of what I was doing, took the poison eyes open , paid the price and then moved on.

sirsholly -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:30:38 AM)
[:D]

girlivy -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 10:41:20 AM)
Great post! The time spent being single is a wonderful time for personal growth. There was a time where I jumped out of one into another, and after it was not working, that was a sign to take a better look in the mirror... So as scary and it was, and the countless of broken mirrors I went through, I've finally landed in this awsome place where I call me :) I am confortable with who I have grown into,.Not perfection, just meh...and one size does not fit all!!... I feel I am ready emotionally, but not in every aspect of my life. When the universe feels I am ready is a different story. Everything in it's own time.....

KatyLied -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 11:14:04 AM)
quote: Do you find that it makes you more attractive to others, this contentment? It does. I think some dominants find it surprising that a sub won't gush all over his every word and seek him out every spare minute. It's almost like they find it to be a chase and it keeps them interested. At least that has been my experience.

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