Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

My 1st bdsm session


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> My 1st bdsm session Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
My 1st bdsm session - 11/23/2005 9:31:24 PM   
dasboot


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline 		Hello Mistresses,

i've been thinking about bdsm for like 3 years now and have wanted to do a real session but have been too nervous... i am embarrased cuz what if the Domme thinks im a freak for being into it... which makes me wonder, should i have my first session with a Pro Domme or with some kinda Lifestyle Domme?

Im nervous about the Pro Domme idea cuz its like... what if She's actually a vanilla girl and She's just doing it for money, so when i turn up She's thinking as She sees me, what a pervert... or, what a freak, or what a loser...

I'm quite an insecure guy and i could get put off it real easy if i think i made a total ass of myself that first time.

Im just all round embarrased to let anyone know im into it... i really want to do it... its like my ultimate fantasy... but doing it for real feels like its forbidden or something... i cant imagine myself actually doing some of the stuff i've thought about.

Maybe i'd best have a couple beers before i turn up else i'd be a nervous wreck.

< Message edited by dasboot -- 11/23/2005 9:33:41 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/23/2005 9:41:22 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		I think visiting a self professed 'fem dom' for the first time, regardless of whether they be professional or lifestyle or both, is a hard ask of anyone. Keep in mind that the 'first visit' only happens once... take the step or wonder forever.

Lifestyle or professional, investigate people in your area, or someone from elsewhere. Look for a style of domination (ie ideas, techniques, preferences, etc) that compliments your desire to submit. A lot of professional doms are well versed in what it is we do and no, I tend to think the reverse when I am faced with a new client or personal sub...I understand how hard it can be to face up to a 'kink' and admire a great deal of people who have walked through My door asking Me to do just that to them.

Explain you are inexperienced and find a dom who understands your trepidation and will work with it.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to dasboot)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/23/2005 9:50:47 PM   
dasboot


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline 		trepidation runs deep in my blood! im scottish afterall!

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/23/2005 9:55:48 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		Good... like I said... it gives something for a Mistress to work with ;)

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to dasboot)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/23/2005 10:07:46 PM   
dasboot


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline 		i think i understand Ma'am, thankYou...

p.s put me down for nuisance tax

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/23/2005 10:21:56 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		lol will do

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to dasboot)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/24/2005 4:00:20 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		I would say that no matter your choice to see a pro or establish a relationship with a lifestyle, one thing is for certain....

The longer you wait, the less likely you will be to EVER get involved in all of this.

Find your balls, turn off your computer, and go out to some local munches and such.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to dasboot)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/24/2005 5:32:04 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

I think visiting a self professed 'fem dom' for the first time, regardless of whether they be professional or lifestyle or both, is a hard ask of anyone. Keep in mind that the 'first visit' only happens once... take the step or wonder forever.

Lifestyle or professional, investigate people in your area, or someone from elsewhere. Look for a style of domination (ie ideas, techniques, preferences, etc) that compliments your desire to submit. A lot of professional doms are well versed in what it is we do and no, I tend to think the reverse when I am faced with a new client or personal sub...I understand how hard it can be to face up to a 'kink' and admire a great deal of people who have walked through My door asking Me to do just that to them.

Explain you are inexperienced and find a dom who understands your trepidation and will work with it.


One advantage for a virgin in getting involved with the local scene is that even if you decide to do a first scene with a pro (and it's not all that bad an idea) you can ask around about who is good. The prodommes who are really kinky usually are involved in the local scene often they supply meeting places and things like that so the nonprofessional get to know them and can pass on a name or two.

It's a lot better than looking at the advertisements in the phone book.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/24/2005 7:47:24 AM   
KCMOLucky


Posts: 121
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Kansas City, Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dasboot


Maybe i'd best have a couple beers before i turn up else i'd be a nervous wreck.



For a couple of reasons I'd discourage you against this. First of all, alcohol thins your blood. If your fantasy involved any kind of bleeding at all, or, heaven forbid, something goes wrong and you recieve a deep wound, your blood will not coagulate, and there is a possibility of you bleeding to death.

Secondly, people do not feel/react as much after drinking. If you want your experience to be a memorable one, all of your senses should be alert and primed to go, not sluggish and unresponsive.

Good luck.

_____________________________

I don't have PMS, I just disagree with you.

(in reply to dasboot)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/24/2005 8:35:36 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		greetings da s boots
happy thanks giving
i dont know ,if i feel
some one is really good ,to me ,intimacy-wise
,in s and m ,
what else....
i don't ask them:" do you love me"; i ask are you workin'?
(if it's vanilla ;they know ;i'm performin),
if it is a pro.; you'll, only wanna live ,in their closet, if you have, to...,to have the life ,or lifestyle, with them(love is love pro, or, not)
good luck in your search;we spend a thrid ,of our life, just waitng ;the other third ,in the toilet,
so 'bust a move'(i did ,that;and, the guy plagiarized me!.),
if your ,in the, other third, of your life, out ,of the toilet ,and, not waiting.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/24/2005 8:38:42 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to dasboot)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/25/2005 10:13:42 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I have been the first scene for at least half a dozen people that I can recall........and they are all still happily playing today, so I know whereof I speak.

MsMarwood is correct---grow some balls, and get out from behind your computer.

Avoid alcohol before meetings. I will not play with ANYONE who has had alcohol in their system.

I am a very good pro dominant. I know some very bad pro dominants, and even they have their loyal followers. It's important that you feel comfortable with the person you are playing with. If the domme will not take the time to talk to you, get to know what your interests are, meet with you in a vanilla setting, then move on.

Ms F




_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/25/2005 1:59:30 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KCMOLucky


quote:

ORIGINAL: dasboot


Maybe i'd best have a couple beers before i turn up else i'd be a nervous wreck.



For a couple of reasons I'd discourage you against this. First of all, alcohol thins your blood. If your fantasy involved any kind of bleeding at all, or, heaven forbid, something goes wrong and you recieve a deep wound, your blood will not coagulate, and there is a possibility of you bleeding to death.

Secondly, people do not feel/react as much after drinking. If you want your experience to be a memorable one, all of your senses should be alert and primed to go, not sluggish and unresponsive.

Good luck.


Not to mention, there are a lot of Domme's that won't touch you, if you've been drinking, it would really suck if ya missed out on a fantastic session, because you couldn't play.

(in reply to KCMOLucky)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/25/2005 4:33:48 PM   
KCMOLucky


Posts: 121
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Kansas City, Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi


quote:

ORIGINAL: KCMOLucky


quote:

ORIGINAL: dasboot


Maybe i'd best have a couple beers before i turn up else i'd be a nervous wreck.



For a couple of reasons I'd discourage you against this. First of all, alcohol thins your blood. If your fantasy involved any kind of bleeding at all, or, heaven forbid, something goes wrong and you recieve a deep wound, your blood will not coagulate, and there is a possibility of you bleeding to death.

Secondly, people do not feel/react as much after drinking. If you want your experience to be a memorable one, all of your senses should be alert and primed to go, not sluggish and unresponsive.

Good luck.


Not to mention, there are a lot of Domme's that won't touch you, if you've been drinking, it would really suck if ya missed out on a fantastic session, because you couldn't play.




I hate to say it, but I'm pretty sure that for every Domme who won't touch someone who's been drinking, there's a wanna-be-Do-Me who WILL. Sadly, there's are quite a few who don't fully understand the "Safe and Sane" part of "SSC".

(in reply to orfunboi)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/25/2005 6:03:06 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Mopst places also won't let you in if you;ve been drinking let alone have a domme who'll play with you. It's stupid irresponcible and not a wise thing to do to induce in any drugs before playing. Liqor or other substances

(in reply to KCMOLucky)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/25/2005 6:34:41 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		Jasmyn;

tried to click Your site...nothing changes...just one front page standing there


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/27/2005 3:47:23 PM   
mitsu


Posts: 67
Joined: 9/7/2005
From: New York
Status: offline
quote:

Im nervous about the Pro Domme idea cuz its like... what if She's actually a vanilla girl and She's just doing it for money


I have been in and out of the "business" for 3 years, and I have not met one reputable pro domme who's a "vanilla girl." ;)

(in reply to dasboot)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/27/2005 4:01:38 PM   
Carameldomme


Posts: 65
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline 		1- I'd attend a munch (or party) instead of booking a session. you might get lucky and meet someone who can tell you what types of things to expect in general and with particular people. Having a friend in the lifestyle is more important than having that big-ole first experience. Even if you find a great Domme, that first session could leave you confused, disappointed, addicted- who knows. Having someone to talk to about it will help you balance out and be realistic.

2-Also- if you're concerned about finding a 'vanilla' Domme- see someone who you've seen at a party or club. Watch her play, then introduce yourself and let her know what your seeking. Or have that friend you made in number 1 introduce you AT a club.

3- I'm one of the few who think there's nothing wrong with having a drink or two to loosen up before playing. There's a difference between having a buzz, and being drunk. If you know yourself well, and are sure that you can handle yourself just as appropriately and safely- having a couple beers won't harm you.

(in reply to mitsu)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: My 1st bdsm session - 11/27/2005 5:30:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

3- I'm one of the few who think there's nothing wrong with having a drink or two to loosen up before playing. There's a difference between having a buzz, and being drunk. If you know yourself well, and are sure that you can handle yourself just as appropriately and safely- having a couple beers won't harm you.


I respectfully disagree. Once a person has experience playing, having *A* beer or glass of wine before a scene is not a big deal. Actually, a friend of mine and I got her sub drunk before a scene once, just for the hell of it. Three very experienced people who knew the body language of the sub.

Alcohol dulls reaction time, and it dulls reactions. Things don't feel the same when you are drunk---and is the first few times you are playing a time to mess with that kind of experimentation? I say no. Save the beer for AFTER the scene, when you will need to hydrate.

Francine


_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Carameldomme)
Profile   Post #: 18
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> My 1st bdsm session Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078