CallaFirestormBW
Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64
I think it is a form of compromise kinda like a fear of cheating thing so you just give in but in the long term how many people have stable marriages who have had a lot partners what percentage i bet it is very few once you have went done a road of chaos I do not think you can be monogo I think for the rest of your life your always going to want more or never be satisifed with just one could be in your wired some are wired for monogo others wired for poly sound i think some are just fallowing fad never listening to their inner self never will find it hanging in a audence of lost people
Why would I -want- a monogamous marriage? For some folks, the monogamous marriage is NOT the be-all-end-all of relationships and the goal to be attained.
I've known I was poly since I first understood that people got into loving relationships. I lived poly from my very first romantic relationship until my ex-husband entered the military, right before we got married. That being said, I was married in a monogamous marriage for 13 years, because the man I was married to was military, and easily frightened, and did not want to risk his career over my fetishes, despite him knowing about and -saying- that he accepted them when we wed. I never had another lover while he and I were married, though the guys in his unit had a hoot every time they shipped out, because I'd always throw a box of condoms in his bag, just in case he ever got lonely. I made a promise not to do anything that would cause him excessive stress, which basically ended up being a 13 year promise of monogamy, and I kept it. I never asked him for the same promise, and never expected it of him (and I've never asked him -- after 13 years of marriage and 12 years apart whether he ever had another lover. I don't really care -- as long as we were both happy). When our marriage ended, it ended because I was preparing to enter 2 years in a monastery, moving on in a spiritual path he didn't agree with and I couldn't give up. I would never have walked away over anything less compelling.
Just because someone is poly does NOT mean that they have no self-control, or that they can't choose to have happy, healthy relationships that are both strong and honest.... but monogamy is not my goal. I don't -want- a mono marriage. I -love- the life that my path brought me to. This makes it completely -irrelevant- to me whether I could have another monogamous marriage after my years of poly... because it isn't something I'm looking for in any way.
Calla Firestorm
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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