RE: Fair or Unfair (Full Version)

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shiazn03 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 5:35:53 PM)

haha, i think whether it is fair or not doesn't matter if your Dom/Master/Mistress/etc. wants to do what They want to do.



Surrenderwithin -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 5:49:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?

example:
If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes.  Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?

Please answer,
Would love to read the responses


Would it be fair to disobey,, as a submissive who entered the relationship agreeing to be obedient and follow the rules? One good turn deserves another in my book. Granted, I am tired and cynical tonight.....



DarkSteven -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 6:00:24 PM)

Of course it's fair.  It is if the Top considers it so.

But it sure would not be effective, mixing punishment and play.  I'd have doubts about a Top that did that and sent an incoherent message.



ashunder -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 6:18:15 PM)

It would absolutely be fair.  Not that it matters though.  I for one am not a huge fan of caning so a hard caning during this would be an absolute punishment for me. 



angelslave77 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 6:37:03 PM)

 
i would say if the sub enjoyed fondling or flogging it would be defeating the whole point of the punishment. But as for adding other unplesant things well that is entirely up to the D type, but as a sub I can say if my D type continally increased my punishments beyond things that were agreed uponI would not be ok with it. for eg I have to drink 10 glasses of water a day and i recieve 5 cane strokes for every glass I dont drink, that is agreed upon, but if he was continally changing the rules at his whim I would get very pissed of very quickly but then I am a fiesty girl.



alittleevil -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 6:48:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?

example:
If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes.  Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?


Greetings Gr33nTOp,

I echo what others have said about "fair" not really being part of the equation in Master's household and having little, if anything, to do with punishment.

In Master's household, punishment is a deterrent, and i also share the thought that the situation exactly as you have described it sounds way too hot and fun to be an effective deterrent (least for this girl!).  However, the situation you described is an excellent example of a 'predicament' situation and those can be used as effective tools for, to use your example, teaching concentration, or simply a demonstration that life with toppish sorts isn't always "fair" :-).

Best,
aj



BitaTruble -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 6:49:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?




If my dominant came to me and said your punishment for X will be Z .. then proceeded to change Z in the middle, it wouldn't take long before I didn't believe a word he says. Is that fair?

Bait and Switch isn't a good tactic to maintain trust.

If you're talking about 'play' called punishment.. then, hell ya.. distract me all ya want. ::grins::




WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 7:22:46 PM)

Just be thankful you were not forced to CHEW Bubble Gum at the same time...



AquaticSub -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 8:21:27 PM)

In my opinion, it's only unfair if he promised he wouldn't.



celticlord2112 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 9:08:40 PM)

quote:

Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?

Of course it is.  Everything I do to my slave is "ok".

It may not be "fair", but it is definitely "ok."



TysGalilah -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 6:23:03 AM)

 
 
there's this little mexican chihauhau voice ( from movie the aristocats, I think) playing in my head >
   "if this is torture.....chain me to the wall"
 
 
anyway  back to the topic question
 
if/when he is displeased and has had to punish me, there are no implements or playing involved.  He makes it clear in my mind that he doesn't enjoy punishing me and so would and does avoid doing anything that in another scenario he would find pleasurable or exciting ( to himself or to me ).
 
 
 



littleone35 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 7:29:37 AM)

The other day Master did something, and i said Master that is not fair.  He said i am the Dom sweetheart i say what is fair and what is not.  I said i guess what they say is right, life is not fair.

Matt's littleone



Dnomyar -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 7:41:50 AM)

Since when is fondling a woman punishment?  If that is the case then Im the biggest sadist on here.



Mavis -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 10:28:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

If my dominant came to me and said your punishment for X will be Z .. then proceeded to change Z in the middle, it wouldn't take long before I didn't believe a word he says. Is that fair?

Bait and Switch isn't a good tactic to maintain trust.

If you're talking about 'play' called punishment.. then, hell ya.. distract me all ya want. ::grins::




Bita, amen.  You beat me to it.

To what others have said, I'll add, if you're truly "punishing".. ie punitive action for mis-behavior, you'll get better deterrent effect if it's somehow related to the infraction commited.   That would work for "This is what it feels like when you distract me when I'm on a task.. so Don't do it again"

If it's "training"  it can work well for her needing more practice in focusing, or relating your touch to her own muscular control.  But probably marginal use for unrelated behaviors.. cept for fun-time stuff.

Medical Tip:   Might be interested to note that this is one of those positions that can bring on "Orgasm migraine"  ..  because the larger thigh and butt muscles are really using up a lot of bloodflow and oxygen demands are high, orgasm can bring on what feels like an ice cream headache.  Can be scarey for both partners. It's harmless in general, but nice to know what it is so it isn't mistaken for a stroke. <grins>



Lasciviouslady1 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 12:59:39 PM)

[sm=biggrin.gif]
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

I'm having fantasies about how "Sharon Osbourne" or "The Fruit Cake Lady", if she were still alive, would respond to this post.
[sm=biggrin.gif]<snort> hahahahha



Bstardsbitch -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 1:28:59 PM)

I dread to think what would happen during a punishment if i said "It's not fair" lol



FRSguy -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 2:37:17 PM)

As a Dom I would have to say.
1.)   I dont give a fuck about what you think is fair or unfair and I dont want hear you whine about it. If it was fair it would not be D/S and you knew what you were getting into before the first fuck or blow.
2.) Your conciouse / breathing and not permenentaly scared phisically and not too much mentally at the end of the punishment then you have nothing to bitch about.
Punishment is when a sub or slave shows there true collors .... sometimes those colors are very ugly and are grounds for sending them packing other times its so incredibly beautiful and you relise that you are the luckiest guy on earth and that she is worth dieing for.
But, thats just my opinion I am sure most would not agree with me.  



Zechriel -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 6:23:32 PM)

Good evening!
  Maybe the word "Fair" was misunderstood here or used incorrectly. I am not sure but what I know is that when I am punished..and yes I just was a few days ago...I would consider it "undermining my lesson" if Daddy were to tease or fondle me. Punishment to us is learning from not distracting from. And I would consider that distraction from my time of reflection. Also,to me it would confuse me as to if the punishment was a true punishment or if it was a mind trick( I hate cursing so I am not saying the f word) It would lead me to believe that the behavior that originally GOT me punished was maybe okay to do again since Daddy seems to enjoy touching or teasing me. Either way, I think it would confuse me and see him in a way as less than strict or "dom-ly" or whatever. Maybe I could say...."A negative behavior produces a swift and unpleasant response. To couple that response with positive or erotic emotions or sensations would be negating the point of the unpleasant response."
  Wow, it must be late::rubs eyes::
Love,
Zechriel  [sm=runaway.gif]



tsatske -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 6:28:33 PM)

Emphasis Mine, not Zechriels:
quote:

Good evening!   Maybe the word "Fair" was misunderstood here or used incorrectly. I am not sure but what I know is that when I am punished..and yes I just was a few days ago... I would consider it "undermining my lesson" if Daddy were to tease or fondle me. Punishment to us is learning from not distracting from. And I would consider that distraction from my time of reflection.


Zech -
And what if your Daddy felt differantly? What if He decided that fondling you was part of what He wanted to happen?
What if He was unwilling to discuss with you why He decided to do that or what goals He was trying to meet?



Huntertn -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/28/2008 6:42:05 PM)

hhmm maybe its not fair..but I enjoy doing it and if she really hated it that much she can always walk on you..but I really doubt she would..Most subs arn't that hard cored..maybe a few, But not many!



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