asiandominatrix
Posts: 6
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
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Ahh... I agree with this post whole-heartedly. As a Pro-Domme myself, I am often unimpressed with the amount of advertisements and posts for "True Goddesses" and "Princesses" who are pretending to be Mistresses only specializing in financial slavery. Hahahaha... The banners often have a picture of a young girl in a G-String, flashing her behind as if she were in a hip hop video. This, to me, does not show Dominance at all. You are showing that you're a piece of ass that can be bought.
Money-wise, Pro-Dommes have their place in BDSM, as do lifestylers. I agree with the OP that our clientele consist of people who are unable, unwilling or ashamed to put BDSM in their personal lives. The 'Mistressing Industry' thrives because I think it's easier for a woman to ask her partner "Honey, spank me, I've been a naughty girl" while dressed in a schoolgirl outfit, than for a man, who thanks to gender roles, feels he has to be dominant to be masculine, and cannot express his sexuality because he might be labeled a 'fag', 'homo', 'pussy'.
I don't think monetary compensation is unreasonable, and I don't think our prices are, either. When you think about it, sexual professionals have to make a lot of sacrifices. Being labeled by the law as a prostitute is one of those sacrifices, people automatically assuming that you have sex for money is another one. Relationships can be strained and broken, and for those who aren't open about their profession, there's a lot of lying and question-dodging as well. Many Pro-Dommes have also been 'outed' about their profession to vindictive, spiteful people. I, myself, was outed to my partner's parents, by his ex-girlfriend. The list of cons to being a Pro-Domme is often long, because BDSM is still taboo, prostitution is still taboo (and I guess in many countries, illegal).
This also doesn't include the fact that the price for a Pro-Domme includes her skill, her training, the fact that she is catering to your needs rather than her own, her medical, legal and safety knowledge that keeps the client okay to go home, in session, she has to be switched on mentally at all times, that she can make all your fantasies come true without marking you suspiciously, that she is on shift (if she works from a dungeon/brothel) and is never guaranteed a client. If she misses a day of work, she doesn't get sick pay, etc, etc.
As for the prostitute thing people have brought up... Although under the law, I am a prostitute, I don't consider myself one since I'm not paid to have sex!
On the other end of the scale and slightly off topic, I loathe clients who come in thinking that all their wildest fantasies are going to come true. Apparently, Pro-Dommes are mind readers too! Yes, Pro-Dommes can often realize your fantasies and fetishes, but I don't know the exact wording of what you want said to you, or the exact order you want things. Nor can I magically make chemistry appear between us if there isn't any! How can I gauge whether or not you enjoy the session if you make no noise? And to top it all off, no matter how sternly I tell my sub to say "Mercy" if things get too heavy for him, he still never says it and I have to ask, "slave, is that a mercy?" before I get a quick nod!
It isn't like we know our clients on a personal level, with the exception of long-term slaves. Many clients are people who we are seeing for the first time, and we have to hit the ground running, making the best with the little information we are given. A conversation in the waiting room can often be like this:
"I'd like to try CBT, corporal, some anal play, golden shower and humiliation."
"Excellent, so what would you like to try in those areas?"
"I dunno. Whatever you want, I guess."
"....Okay. How heavy have you had the CBT? Have you tried electrics? Weights? Pegs?"
"Yeah, I think so. Just do whatever you like, I guess."
".........Okay. I'll start off with some really light activities and we can continue from there."
Or better yet, the slave who comes in and tells me he doesn't know what he wants. That's always a winner.
Back on to topic, I always mention that I'm a Professional Domme in my profile - this is not where I get my clientele. The dungeon I work in does plenty of advertising already, so there isn't a need. I think many Pros are on here because they have a genuine interest in BDSM, which is probably why they got into it in the first place! In my experience, watching girls come in and out of the dungeon for years, you simply cannot feign interest or dominance. If girls are just in it for the money, they often fail and leave within a month or two because they get no clientele - clients can *feel* when your headspace isn't right during session.
/end long rant
< Message edited by asiandominatrix -- 9/3/2008 7:04:09 PM >
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RE: Defining what exactly is a "Pro Domme" - 
Profile
as far as im concerned those are the best hours of my week when im with her 
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