Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

For those who are active in your local scene....


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> For those who are active in your local scene.... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 6:32:10 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		If you gained weight, would it affect your desire to attend local functions? I'm probably 15 lbs. heavier than I was the last time we participated in our local group...and every single pound shows. I view it as a lack of discipline on my part (which it has been...all excuses aside) and am self-conscious about it.

Anyway, we have been invited to a party this weekend, and while my owner hasn't made a decision about our attendance as yet, I have to say I have mixed feelings. It would be great fun to see everyone again, as long as they don't see me...heeheehee. The person who invited us said I could view it as a form of humiliation play, and he's right...it would certainly be that. Its my own darn fault, because in two months I could be back to normal, but I'm just curious as to whether or not anyone else thinks about these things, or if you feel that life is too short to hide in the meantime.


best regards,
fate

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 6:48:15 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I think that is why alotta people don't come to reunions. One, your thoughts are worse for yourself than others will consider. If Master allows, you should go. It may be a real impetus to do something other than worry about your weight. All the people that eye you askance on this trip will flock to you and give you praise for looking so buff the next.......

Hope that works for your head, and not against it.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 7:43:35 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Don't know about your local scene, but in our's we fit in pretty well and neither of us is thin..... {translation: I'm old, balding and fat}

I wouldn't worry about it. In fact, you might end up with a whole new set of admirers

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 8:00:50 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

I wouldn't worry about it. In fact, you might end up with a whole new set of admirers


Oh heaven's forbid!!!! That is the *last* thing I want...lol.

Thank you both for your responses. I probably didn't explain very well, and at the risk of bringing up a topic that is a sensative issue to some people, its more that I view it as a failure on my part to care for my owner's property. I feel it is my responsibility to stay fit and to be the best I can be as a part of my service to him. Its not a vanity issue where I am looking for admiration, but rather what I feel is a less than stellar performance in this aspect of my service.

He has said that we will stop by for a bit, so I guess the point is moot. I just wonder (and have many times over the years) if others see this as an aspect of their service and how they cope with those times in life when they have let life get in the way of performing it successfully.


best regards,
fate

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 8:47:38 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Fate, a true friend and people in the scene that you miss and want to see again, will not judge you on appearance alone. It's your entire self, that draws people to you and you to them.

Geez, go, have fun and relax.

I just gave my son this same speech, who has a pimple showing up on his first prom date, Poor guy!

Now, he may have a problem....teenager's are cruel....but, you will be fine!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 9:04:00 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		In most public scenes, it's the average/skinny girls who are the ones who stando ut the most and get the most uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the males and the evil eye from the females.

The overweight ones are the common happily welcomed ones. I wouldn't worry about it.

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 9:24:43 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		I guess I'm still not being clear in what I'm asking. My concern isn't how I will be viewed asthetically, but rather how *I* feel about not being successful at constantly maintaining a particular aspect of my service. It would be the same as neglecting to fix coffee for my owner, or not noticing he requires something obvious until after he has mentioned it.

Again, thanks for your responses, but perhaps no one else does see this as an aspect of service...lol.


best regards,
fate

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 9:45:09 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate

I guess I'm still not being clear in what I'm asking. My concern isn't how I will be viewed asthetically, but rather how *I* feel about not being successful at constantly maintaining a particular aspect of my service. It would be the same as neglecting to fix coffee for my owner, or not noticing he requires something obvious until after he has mentioned it.

Again, thanks for your responses, but perhaps no one else does see this as an aspect of service...lol.


best regards,
fate


Life is too short to "hide", in my opinion. If you feel bad about your level of service in the past, then make plans to change it. I would hope that others at the party wouldn't view your appearance as a lack of service to your Master, but view it as just one of those ups and downs in life. We all have them. As for your own personal feelings, you are in control of them, and if you choose to let it get you down, it will.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 9:57:22 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Usually we are our own worst critics and a lot more aware of ourselves than other folks. 15 pounds is nothing; I bet nobody else notices. Of course, if it was a typo and actually 150 lbs, then they probably would.

Go -- they'll be happy to see ya.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 11/24/2005 9:58:21 AM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 10:12:34 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate
Again, thanks for your responses, but perhaps no one else does see this as an aspect of service...lol.


None of us can tell you that, certainly not by how our own public scenes deal with things.

I can tell you that averge normal women are usually welcomed with open arms, even if they've gained weight.

How this helps YOU simply be confident in who YOU are, I don't know.

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 10:37:00 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		Go and have fun ...if your Master is happy with you , who else cares what they think of you

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 10:40:47 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Yup...you are right, L. And the reason it was difficult for me to get responses to what I was trying to say was because my original post implied a different issue altogether. I'm not very good at vocalizing my own issues, but thanks to everyone who posted :)

Now....anyone want to join me at the gym tomorrow...lol?



f

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 2:11:57 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		You are worried about weight? I'm more concerned that some (small) local groups are, for lack of a better word, a bit clannish. As far as knowing each other (very well), playing with each other, it can be overwhelming for newcomers.


edited because I DISCOVERED A FILTERED WORD!

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 11/24/2005 2:12:37 PM >

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 2:35:08 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Katy, no...that was not my underlying worry, although I know it appeared that it was in my initial post. Our group isn't terribly small, and we already know most of them. I wouldn't worry about that aspect if I were you. Often times it is not so much clannishnish as it is that they don't know you :)


f

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 3:01:10 PM   
addcted2it


Posts: 78
Joined: 10/28/2004
From: Sonoma County, California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate

If you gained weight, would it affect your desire to attend local functions? I'm probably 15 lbs. heavier than I was the last time we participated in our local group...and every single pound shows. I view it as a lack of discipline on my part (which it has been...all excuses aside) and am self-conscious about it.

Anyway, we have been invited to a party this weekend, and while my owner hasn't made a decision about our attendance as yet, I have to say I have mixed feelings. It would be great fun to see everyone again, as long as they don't see me...heeheehee. The person who invited us said I could view it as a form of humiliation play, and he's right...it would certainly be that. Its my own darn fault, because in two months I could be back to normal, but I'm just curious as to whether or not anyone else thinks about these things, or if you feel that life is too short to hide in the meantime.


best regards,
fate


stormsfate,

You said it yourself, "...life is too short to hide..."

And while I understand that body image is an important part of feeling sexual, there are all body types in our local community, and it obviously doesn't bother them enough to not want to come out and play. And 15 pounds does not equate to being grossly-overweight.

Just get out there and have fun!

Best regards,

- Philip


_____________________________

Submission is not an excuse to abuse.
Life is short! Live it to the fullest!

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 8:03:27 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		greetings stormsfate
happy thanks giving
you have a stable wardrobe ;like a leather jacket;
or something military
right?
wear it
from the bottom; i think a few extra pounds is a dream ,but, that's ,another subject.
wear your colors ;
bring your image;(the best leather jacket, or boots, or shoes....)
hide ,that fat (tie it ,up ,in a leather-harness ,under your clothes)
starve till you get there ,at least you tried/you'll get higher faster ,and, feel like an m; have ,only extra -extra pale-dry sherry(60 calories), if anything ,if you have, to psyche ,up, to get there.
meantime(poise/no guzzle/never lete'm see you swet; the s.o.b.'s.... )
the whip might be a last minute tighten ,up, but ,i don't know who i'm talking ,to....
how do you go ,if your master, or top
is'nt keeping you ,in shape,
and, go ,to anything, with a last minute invite?!
dont this one care what his leashed animal is ,in public ,or have him kill you're looks there ....,and ,continue the scene ,of humiliation...it's a matter ,of degree anyway (how far you go)...,but ,massa musta been sleeping while you were raiding the giants' castle, or massa is plumping you up, for dinner!?....
knock'em dead with that killer m garb
remember the owl ,in the story ,of o ,?....
or was, that emanuel...,just do it, if you can...or get ,another top.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/24/2005 8:04:27 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 8:52:34 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		You consider maintaining your weight and fitness as part of your service to your owner. You feel the 15 pounds are very noticeable and the others will observe your failure in this regard. Essentially your are disappointed in yourself and worry it will reflect poorly on your owner. Perhaps you are feeling he may feel less pride in "displaying" you? Is this all correct?

Three things jump to mind.

First of all, the 15 lbs is much more obvious to you than anyone else. Really.

Secondly, I assume you have discussed this with your owner? Has he expressed disappointment in you or address this in any way? Does he have concern? I think that would be important information.

And finally, if it were another aspect of service would that prevent you from attending? I mean, if you failed to get him coffee during pre-scene chit chat would you be so embarassed and mortified you would want to hide or leave? Probably not - you would realize your mistake and fix it. Maybe accept correction and probably resolve to do better. It seems this should be no different. If you and your owner believe it to be a failure in service, all you can do is take steps to correct that -- and that is a private issue between the two of you.

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/24/2005 9:33:08 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		There are worse things in the world than 15 pounds. If you've been in the scene you know about it all too well.
I would'nt let a small weight gain keep me from having fun.

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/25/2005 3:03:34 AM   
Gem


Posts: 100
Joined: 2/11/2004
Status: offline 		Brightest Blessings

I think I understand where you are coming from fate. However from your posts I am not getting the sense that your Owner has seen this as a ommision of service to him, so why do you think you do?

As slaves we look for problems sometimes I believe *chuckles* we are far less forgiving of our selves and our precieved failures than our Owners. I sometimes think that it is a specialized kink that surrenderd folks share....self punishment of precieved failure of service.

If the feeling continues perhaps ask forgiveness of your Owner and ask him if he is so inclined to help you get back on track. If he does not see it as the failure that you do, then forgive yourself and move on knowing it is only a problem when he says it si a problem :).

Blessed Be
Gem

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: For those who are active in your local scene.... - 11/25/2005 4:48:50 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
I can understand your dissapointment that you've gaiend weight.
I'd like to point out even though you're a few pounds heavier your Master still thinks you're hot enough to take out to play for the night.
Instead of focusing on those few extra pounds you could focus on behaving in ways that would be pleasing to your Master.
You could also look forward to seeing all your friends.
Truthfully a few extra pounds does not change your desirability too much.
Yes people will notice you've gained a little weight. SO WHAT! Your still the same person they know and like inside aren't you?
I'd say don't let your uncomfortability stop you from doing things you enjoy.
YOUR TRUE BEAUTY COMES FROM WITHIN.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> For those who are active in your local scene.... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078