RE: Age difference (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master



Message

Dnomyar -> RE: Age difference (8/29/2008 10:50:20 AM)

Dawn if your an Aunt forget what Leatherist said. I can get serious.



SteelofUtah -> RE: Age difference (8/29/2008 11:05:48 AM)

Age is such an interesting thing. Mostly because of how important it is to some while being completely unimportant to others.

I personally always prefered older women to have relationships with as for sexually I rarely cared about age as much as I did capasity to engage in the activities I deamed most pleasurable. Oddly enough I met married and had a child with a woman who is 6 1/2 years my junior. Now when you take into account that I am only 27 at the time we met she was a teenager and the last time I was with a teenager I was 15.

Also Op, I struggled with the age issue in the BDSM world as to many Age AUTOMATICALLY equals experience and one should know that is an utter crock of shit. I find it funny that a friend of mine recently wrote and published a book on Dungeon Protocol for newcomers. What I find funny is that I met some people who owned it and talked about how he has been arond for years and was a Shibari DM in Vegas for Years. I KNOW the guy, I took him to his first Munch as well as his first Play Party where he Identified as a sub and safe worded in the middle of his scene and had to be cut from the suspension ropes, the sad thing is that was 6 years ago so I wonder where all this Bull Shit came from. He has no website, he distributed his books through sex shops and independent book stores and no where in his book does he make claim to these activities. However he is a well groomed man in his late 50's and when he talks the whole room listens. Does this mean he is a fake or a fraud? No not in my opinion, I think people just ASSUMED that he knew what he was talking about because he LOOKS as if he could have done these things for years.

The Sad thing is I know Dom's in thier late 20's with more skill and ability with any given tool than MANY of the Self Proclaimed Masters of the Whip who have droves of girls drooling at the chance to see them demo let alone actually scene.

Age is just a timeline, An Ostrich may be 40 but it's lived half it's life with it's head in the ground. A Cobra may be small and yet to have shed it's first skin but it is equally as deadly now as it will be for the rest of it's life.

Age is just a timeline, as long as you know that you will find it easier to firgive those who put so much faith into it. Because sadly women in thier 30's and 40's have issued surrendering to someone who can't legally vote as was the issue with me when I got started in BDSM. Saddly sometimes Time just takes TIME.

Steel



shykitty1 -> RE: Age difference (8/29/2008 11:15:12 AM)

I myself have always been attracted to older men, and i think that alot of women are that way as well.  It also has to do atleast in my opinion with this lifestyle that the older men, have had more of the training (earning their leathers) then alot of the younger men going into the lifestyle.  This atleast to a slave like me is more attractive because we feel safer that they know what they are doing compared to the newer younger men who just up and declare they are Doms..




lusciouslips19 -> RE: Age difference (8/29/2008 4:12:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lessthanthree


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

See this right here bothers me. I have been approached by many younger men. I dont want to be someones fanasy ala,"I have always fantasized about an older woman." I want someone who wants to relate to me as a person, not an icon.



You have an excellent point. While I don't consider myself to be looking primarily for the "older woman" archetype, re-reading my post, that is certainly what it sounds like. I hope I don't come off that way in real life.

However, I posed the question because it is primarily a fantasy and I was curious as to whether or not anyone shared it. I'm not sure I would pursue a relationship of this type very far (barring extraordinary circumstances,) in my experience relationships based on fantasy end as nightmares.

Also, I never said I was thinking of older women specifically.


See this is important. number one, You need to be interested on a human to human level. Not just seeing the woman as a fantasy. Also, do you want this women for relationship or is it just play? You will maybe want to settle down someday and have kids? Likely this wont be likely to happen with an older woman. So its definately possible that you just want her for the fling.



sydgal2 -> RE: Age difference (8/29/2008 9:47:12 PM)

Oh my .... let me explain without getting shouted down by other mature women ....for me the younger man is just divine. Nothing makes my legs weaken and my heart quicken more. The enthusiasm, the energy, the mind, the body. Nothing makes my submission easier than a younger man.
No, I am not in the depends category yet. My last master was 27yo and there was not one single thing I could have taught that Man. He took me and I gave so freely it was embarrising. Correct, last Master. It did not last but the ending had nothing to do with age. I will still seek a younger man to be the One as that is what is good for me. I am not saying it is good for everyone. It is good for me. If I fulfill someone else's fantasy along the way then all the better.  We have both had a wonderful, sensual, erotic time !!



aggressiveblkdom -> RE: Age difference (8/29/2008 11:34:37 PM)

This was an issue for me as well for a good while. I strongly resented the fact that many older subs would not take the time to get to know me as a person but would just see the age and immedietly disregard me. Mostly I've come to see that is more of a factor online opposed to in R/L. To the OP: it just comes down to personal preferance. Just as many have weight and height preferences, just view this as the same thing.



leakylee -> RE: Age difference (8/30/2008 1:52:09 AM)

now i dont have an issue with younger doms, but at the same time being 36 i am not about to start popping kids now. throw that in with some that are nearly as young as my niece. kinda creepy. so while younger isnt to bad. 10 years is about all i think i could handle without thinking i was robbing the cradle. i mean i dated younger in my late 20's. so i dont figure a younger dom would be that much of a strech.




persephonee -> RE: Age difference (8/30/2008 6:16:54 AM)

~FR~

i stated on another thread that i have never been involved with a man who is younger than i. Then i started doing inventory and found that one of my ex-doms was 27 at the time we were involved and one of my current partners is 3 years younger than i. Apparently, if done correctly, dominance doesnt have an age requirement.

In general, i tend to migrate more toward a dominant man who is at least 10 to 15 yrs older than i. This age range has always attracted me and its only recently that i have found that it really doesnt matter about age at all.



Aynne88 -> RE: Age difference (8/30/2008 6:26:25 AM)

For me personally one of the issues I have with ever dating anyone younger than me is pure physical vanity. Yeah I know, how un p.c. of me, but I am just being honest, I can't imagine dating a man younger than me for that reason alone, let alone I have a big thing for the whole Daddy/authority dynamic and I can't see it with a younger man. Again, that is just my personal  feeling on it.  



sistermargaret -> RE: Age difference (8/30/2008 6:42:44 AM)

It's a real paradox because my submissive/slave nature has been just under the surface for as long as I remember and Master is the one who has tapped into it. 

This is how things are with U/us too. The thing i've noticed is that the older people get the less the age difference matters. Its a MUCH bigger gap 'tween 18 and 28 than 'tween 48 and 58.
i found this while rummaging around some other posts and links, thought you'd find it amusing.
http://www.leatherarchives.org/exhibits/franklin.htm

Old Mistresses Apologue,
By Benjamin Franklin

Facsimile of original letter written by Benjamin Franklin, is used
with permission of The Rosenbach Museum & Library, Philadelphia, PA

This transcript is courtesy of the American Philosophical Society and
the Yale University Library


June 25. 1745
"My dear Friend,"

"I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural
Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not
communicate it to you.

"…in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You
call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:


1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds
are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more
improving and more lastingly agreable."

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good....
They learn to do a thousand Services small and great, and are the
most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd
may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet
in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with
them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with
regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known,
considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman
who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her
good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among
mercenary Prostitutes."

5... And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal
enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently
superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.


6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin,
and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl
miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can
attend the making an old Woman happy.

8. [thly and Lastly] They are so grateful!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly;

being sincerely

Your affectionate Friend.

B. Franklin
sm



dawntreader -> RE: Age difference (8/30/2008 9:18:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Dawn if your an Aunt forget what Leatherist said. I can get serious.


i AM an Aunt! [:D]



whis31 -> RE: Age difference (8/30/2008 5:33:34 PM)

my Sir is 14 years older then me, and i love it!



angelspassion4u -> RE: Age difference (8/30/2008 5:49:43 PM)

   As a 40 year old sub I do have issues with age.  I have a couple of years left before I totally give up the idea of the possibility of having another child.  Older Doms say 46 and up  mostly are done having kids and want to just live life kid free.  And they don't want to be old to a young child.  On the other side I am not interested in anyone younger than 30 because I don't have much in common with them and I am almost old enough to be their mother. And they are not far off from my oldest aughhh.  Just not for me.  I say what ever works for others is fine but for me I will stay in the 30 - 45 range for a few more years.



CalifChick -> RE: Age difference (8/30/2008 6:00:19 PM)

For me it's not about skill with tools (other than the ones that are part of his body), and I find it amusing that people often pull that out, the old "I've seen younger guys with more skill with a whip than an older guy."  For me it's about life, it's about life experiences, it's about maturity... even younger guys with maturity often show immaturity in more areas than they will admit.


Cali



lessthanthree -> RE: Age difference (8/31/2008 2:18:45 AM)

Thanks again for all the interest, advice, and other info.

Aggressiveblkdom was right however, sometimes it's allot easier to find what you're looking for at a bar than on the internet; so, I dragged my sorry self away from the computer and made the most of my Saturday night. I've got a play date on Sunday with a submissive lady nine years my senior. Wish me luck.



sydgal2 -> RE: Age difference (8/31/2008 2:39:56 AM)

OMG that is fantastic news !!! I do wish you the very best of good fortune, lust filled moments and a swelling heart...oh and other body parts too [;)]

But one more thing....if you ever move to Sydney come see me !!!



LittleWench -> RE: Age difference (8/31/2008 3:31:54 AM)

My Owner is 12 yrs younger than I am.  When I was in my 20's older men were my thing, I was besotted with their experience, their maturity, etc.  When I got to my 30's I realized how dull they could be and my preference swung drastically to younger men, and I don't see myself growing tired of them.  They can be more work emotionally than older guys but I think it's worth it.



L8bloomer -> RE: Age difference (9/1/2008 8:58:48 PM)

Celine Dion's husband, René Angélil, is 26 years older than she is.

Okay, okay, I know we're talking about dominants and submissives here and, as far as we know, those two aren't a part of that. I used to be of the camp that someone considerably younger couldn't possibly be of interest. But I've changed my mind on that point. In most cases, I still believe it is true, but there are, as they say, exceptions to every rule.



SilverMaster101 -> RE: Age difference (9/2/2008 3:52:11 AM)

...Surely this is dependant on the 'chemistry' between the two parties?? Yes..in geberal I'd hazard a guess that it work better when the Dom/Master is somewhat older...But..Vive la Differance!! SM101



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Age difference (9/2/2008 4:18:10 AM)


I use to want someone closer to my age within 10 years. Now my Master is 10 years older than me. With this experience I think I would venture past 10 year difference. Many here have made me see how wonderful an older man is. Plus there is a courtly manner in older gentleman the is remarkably vacant in the younger generations. for instance, the way my car door is opened for me every time.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875