Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

its all about me?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> its all about me? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
its all about me? - 8/28/2008 7:21:19 PM   
sistermargaret


Posts: 101
Joined: 8/8/2008
Status: offline 		Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'.
i'm shocked. What does that mean????
sm
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: its all about me? - 8/28/2008 7:27:00 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It means that we're all in relationships to be fulfilled in who we are through the process of being with others.  At that moment, it's all about you.  At other moments, it's all about him.  The experience of the relationship is all about you both together.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sistermargaret)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: its all about me? - 8/28/2008 7:37:35 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		A true Master gets as much delight in a fulfilled sub/slave as in having that one wait upon Him.  He will do things to please her even as she is in the process of pleasing Him.  You can imagine how much work it is to keep this delightful balance.  Sometimes the focus will be more on Him, but if He is doing His job well your wellbeing will always be considered.

_____________________________



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: its all about me? - 8/28/2008 7:45:49 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		OP,
I would beg to differ from chamberqueen in that I don't believe there is any acceptable definition of what a "true" master does or does not do.  That's the age old debate around here.  What is good and "true" for one is irrelevant to another.

As far as if he "is doing his job well" or not, again that of course varies from relationship to relationship to relationship. 

Some relationships involve dominants who strive to fulfill their subs/slaves and some aren't quite that dynamic.  Doesn't make one any more real or true or well done than another.  Nope, nope, nope.

As with everything, it's all about what works for you and yours in your own personal, intimate relationship.  Don't ever believe there is one true way in this or anything................luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 8/28/2008 7:46:53 PM >

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: its all about me? - 8/28/2008 8:06:58 PM   
sistermargaret


Posts: 101
Joined: 8/8/2008
Status: offline 		Don't ever believe there is one true way in this or anything................luci

i don't. i've seen it all, lol. And enjoyed a lot of it, too. There is no One way, to each their own. i like what the first responder had to say as well. That made a lot of sense to me. The relationship is indeed mutually satisfying. Sometimes the simplest of things are so elusive when one spends much time in mental sub space, lol. It's still got the blush of newness, so i'm caught up. Thanks for the clarification.
sm

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: its all about me? - 8/28/2008 8:25:48 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sistermargaret
i like what the first responder had to say as well. That made a lot of sense to me.

Yeah, that doggone LA.  She's often the "first responder" and usually one of the most sensible, practical and right-on posters around.  She always makes "a lot of sense."................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to sistermargaret)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: its all about me? - 8/29/2008 12:36:16 AM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		I appreciate your putting this out there for others to comment on. And more importantly that those that will not comment for whatever reasons will have an opportunity to read, learn and understand more about themselves or others. But the real answer lies within him. If you want to know what your Master means you should ask him.

Dolf

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: its all about me? - 8/29/2008 4:09:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
quote:

ORIGINAL: sistermargaret
i like what the first responder had to say as well. That made a lot of sense to me.

Yeah, that doggone LA.  She's often the "first responder" and usually one of the most sensible, practical and right-on posters around.  She always makes "a lot of sense."................luci

Hey thanks!  I do try to keep up.  But you should check out "Off Topic!"  Apparently I'm to be ignored!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: its all about me? - 8/29/2008 4:57:28 PM   
sistermargaret


Posts: 101
Joined: 8/8/2008
Status: offline 		You can imagine how much work it is to keep this delightful balance.  Sometimes the focus will be more on Him, but if He is doing His job well your wellbeing will always be considered.

i understand what you're saying about doing His job well ... as my Dominant, as my Master, according to how W/we've set our relationship and kink. i see it all now ... its nice :)   Goodness knows i sure deserve it to be all about me. Surviving life thus far has provided the One who knows i've earned it, lol. Soooooooo, after reading these and other posts for the last few days, i professed to Master that i'm done being a Switch and will take the role of His submissive in training. He accepted my offerings :)
<--------skips off to change profile :) 
Thanks everyone. i hope my posts show all of you how valuable you've been to me, and others. i really appreciate the viewpoints and heartfelt assistance/encouragement in all of the forums i visit.
sm

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: its all about me? - 8/29/2008 7:03:27 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: sistermargaret
i like what the first responder had to say as well. That made a lot of sense to me.

Yeah, that doggone LA.  She's often the "first responder" and usually one of the most sensible, practical and right-on posters around.  She always makes "a lot of sense."................luci


No , she is caustic, and undoubtedly a threat to the.." lifestyle"..;)

Jeffwey

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: its all about me? - 8/29/2008 7:49:17 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sistermargaret

Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'.
i'm shocked. What does that mean????
sm


*smiles.
i.e.,
If you said: Lick my ass, male - he would.
:-)

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to sistermargaret)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: its all about me? - 8/29/2008 8:21:44 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		It all comes down to the dominant. While I'm a submissive, I HAVE talked to many dominants and others about the idea of who any given act is for in a relationship (whether BDSM or even vanilla)

It all comes down to the couple and the individuals within it. For me, for example, the most important thing is making sure that my top/dominant is pleased... sexually, emotionally, completely. I cannot even start to feel fulfilled until I know that he has been taken care of to the best of my abilities. Otherwise, I feel quite guilty, and then get depressed after any given encounter because I wasn't able to make him... well... I don't know the word for it beyond 'ultimately pleased' or something similar. It's not always about sex or sexual gratification... quite often it's just about hearing that "good boy" or slight moan, or even quick breath.

Whereas others that I've met, submissives, even, are completely egocentric. There are even some subs who only get into the scene or a relationship because of the trip of having something be ALL about them. Whereas I get my jollies by having my pleasure (effectively) ignored, they can only get off when the dominant is focusing on either giving them or denying them pleasure.

It's all a matter of the individual.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: its all about me? - 8/30/2008 4:48:11 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sistermargaret

Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'.
i'm shocked. What does that mean????
sm

In that context, it's rather a silly statement to me.  When you're doing whatever pleases him, which inevitably pleases the average submissive, then it's all about *both* of you. 
 
Enabling each other's needs is the essence of power exchange....
 
To me, those words did little more than spoil the moment - I sympathise with you.
 
Focus. 

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to sistermargaret)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: its all about me? - 8/30/2008 6:38:30 PM   
sistermargaret


Posts: 101
Joined: 8/8/2008
Status: offline 		Well, moments get spoiled sometimes when there is a more important issue presented. The statement came because i was fussing about something, and i guess this was His reassurance that W/we are on the right track. But, there is little sympathy doled out these days, so thanks for your point of view. i agree, that if He'd made that statement during intense play, it might have spoiled the high, but even then i doubt it. In the context of reassurance and acceptance it is a powerful statement no matter when its spoken.
Someone mentioned greedy subs who demand that it 'be all about me'. We've all run into them. My problem is the opposit. i try to please EVERYBODY and it damn near killed me, in various ways. i crashed & burned, now i must rebuild ... climb back on that horse, so to speak. So, perhaps by forcing me to focus on how this is all about me, i can stop doing for everyone and just do for U/us? Like giving up the Switch thing ... less obligations to Top/bottom old buddies. Less to fret and chew about, less white noise? Does that make sense? It certainly has made a difference in my life to have a Rock who is so willingly clung to.
sm
sm

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: its all about me? - 9/24/2008 4:41:41 PM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		ask him

(in reply to sistermargaret)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: its all about me? - 9/24/2008 6:39:36 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sistermargaret

Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'.
i'm shocked. What does that mean????
sm


I remember meeting this girl at the right moment i dropped my drawers and she took one look and said to me ih her sexy voice..... who are you going to please with that lil thing.  I smirked and said "Me"   I have no clue what they meant by that remark.

BadOne



_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to sistermargaret)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: its all about me? - 9/24/2008 8:02:58 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		My take is that it is about the submissive because I consider D/s to take place largely between a submissive's ears.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: its all about me? - 9/24/2008 9:06:40 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sistermargaret

Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'.
i'm shocked. What does that mean????
sm



I would hope such a comment was framed in sarcasm or jest. If not, how defeating it is to pour oneself into serving another, only to stand in the light of such a "correction". Talk about a rude awakening.

Well, at least he said it in a hot, sultry and sexy voice. Have him mix in some soft European techno next time.

(in reply to sistermargaret)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: its all about me? - 9/25/2008 12:12:01 AM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sistermargaret

Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'.
i'm shocked. What does that mean????
sm


Welcome to fucking reality!!  In fact some submissives are so caught up in serving somebody, that it becomes all about them.  To the point where they have a hard time watching Master do for themself.   Like God forbid I might fetch myself a Pepsi out of the Fridge instead of putting in my drink order!  LOL...  hahahahaha...   Hence it can become all about the submissive.

Blah Blah Blah.... I'm just another totally clueless fake wanker wanna be Dom what the fuck do I know anyways!! LOL..  On your knees bitch and sit still, let me serve myself for a moment.   It's all about you and I'm going to teach you a lesson and break you of this bad habit before you drive me insane.  This is basic sub attitude adjustment training 101. 

Trust me, if your master says to you, it's all about you.  They realize something about you, that you are refusing to see and understand it for what it really is.  Hope this post adds a little insight despite it's smartass snarky nature.

(in reply to sistermargaret)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: its all about me? - 9/25/2008 10:40:30 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It's all about both of us. Because if we aren't both getting our needs and wants met, then it won't be a good relationship. We don't accept anything other than a win/win outcome.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> its all about me? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.105