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RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 6:29:25 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I do hear this online a lot...

I have never met anyone in real life who did it.

Well i think many married couples have one person in charge of the finanaces be that vanilla or D/s, my father controlled it all he had the car and all that kind of stuff so really it aint that strange

True, but I don't see that as giving away everything you own. My mother handled paying the bills and the bank accounts because she was better at it. The money was both of theirs. To me that just makes sense, but to just hand it all over, while I am positive it happens, I personally have never met anyone who did it.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 41

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 6:42:07 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I do hear this online a lot...

I have never met anyone in real life who did it.

Hi, I'm LeeAnn. I manage all the money in my household.

Hi Lee Ann, nice to meet you and that does not surprise me at all.

However the OP said "Subs that give away all their things to their dom domme WHY
i mean bank accounts cars clothes"

So I have to ask....

Do you allow your girls to have possesions? Clothes? Books? Any money at all?

Or do you consider everything to be yours....and if so, how do you handle birthdays.....give them something you have always wanted, knowing they can't keep it?

Now that would surprise me.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 42

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 7:51:19 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

There's a real dark side to most of life.We all know the risk's..some will be okay with it and some won't. If it's not to your taste then don't do it.

Any female that steps into my life and under my hand will be okay with it. If not she wouldn't be with me to begin with. The way i do things are not up for discussion. She will either be of like mind or she'll go to the next fella.

You can spend your days looking for bad things and no doubt you will find them. There are plenty of excuses as to why it isn't a good idea. Yet the females i've had have never had a problem with it. I guess it depends on what your looking for. I'm TPE in all of my M/s relationships. TPE doesn't mean anything else but that to me. If she doesn't trust me enough to give those over to me if i wanted them then we probably wouldn't work out to begin with. It's not about the possesions to me to begin with. It's about control and trust.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 43

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 11:23:04 AM

Bstardsbitch

Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline

I didn't just "hand it over".
My relationship is very much like Icarys describes. I still have possesions, I just don't have any financial control. If I want to buy something I ask, I don't often buy frivolous stuff, so usually I get it. Though I do buy far too many books, so Sir does put a stop to it now and then. The only thing Sir never questions is stuff my rugrat needs.
thishereboi, you make it sound like the sub/slave does all the work and the Dom does nothing, that's not the case, well not here anyway, Sir contributes a lot more than I do.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 44

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 11:50:17 AM

WhiplashSmile2

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
Who cares? As long as they don't come whining to me about their stupidity.

Ding Ding Ding! We have a WINNER here folks, Yes We Have a WINNER, please give the lady a Great Big Uber stuffed teddy bear.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 45

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 2:38:01 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

As if they would come to her...

Funny how people just assume the worst is going to happen. Now that's stupidity.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)

Post #: 46

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 2:59:06 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I, personally, would never do it. Let someone else control all of my things. At least if you get married you can have lawyers sort stuff out, I'm not gonna get into some BDSM relationship, give a guy everything and then end up with nothing when it turns sour because in the moment I wanted big ole dominant to have all the power because it got our kinks off and made his ego better.

Don't trust anyone enough for that. What can go wrong will go wrong and after all the love and fun is over I want to be able to keep going.

I liked the post earlie about how love won't pay for medications or depends when you're 80. I do wonder if an older sub/slave would just hand over everything, even any retirement fund for some TPE. BDSM is fun and all but sometimes ya just gotta think for yourself. If I was with someone and we had a joint account, that's one thing. But to just blindly hand over every paycheck and assume he's doing right by it and not have a penny myself unless asked? Nah.

People get shafted everyday for doing this in a "vanilla" way, doing it for BDSM reasons doesn't make it any safer or any better of an idea.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 47

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 5:24:04 PM

aperversetwist

Posts: 48
Joined: 8/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mztresn0w

To each their own. My lil one had no idea how to pay bills or balance a check book when I met her. Her former Dominant had done it all. She just worked two job and gave her the paychecks each week. That wasn't something that I was interested in doing. It was a painful process for her to learn to take care of those things but she did and I am very proud of the fact that she takes care of herself. I am not knocking those that live that way. I just want to know that if something happens to me that she can take care of herself. I am sure that the ones that live that way have thought about the future and if something happened to them that their slave/submissives are able to take care of themselves.

I'm glad to see you made your bottom learn to do this on her own. I've seen some instances of one partner in the relationship who did all the finances while the other did none, maybe not even a job. Then the partner doing the finances and earning the money up and dies, leaving the other with no clue what to do. A long time vanilla friend lived this way with his wife, then he dies very unexpectedly in an accident. She didn't even know how to write a check or what the PIN number was on the bank card. It later happened to an aquaintance of a friend of mine. Unfortunately it's not as uncommon as it should be, in the BDSM or vanilla community.

My opinion is that it's fine for one person to run the finances, but both people must know how to do it and all of the important info, bank accounts PIN numbers etc.

(in reply to mztresn0w)

Post #: 48

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 8:26:26 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

Plenty of subs think it's the right thing to do if they want to be a real slave who submits completely to their owner. To some it's a pre-requisite to give all of themself, even their possessions, so they can live like a true slave and give all of themself to their owner. And it can be a sign that they're serious about being completely owned. Course they should only do it if they're willing and feel comfortable doing it and trust the person. It's a decision made between the slave and the owner.

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http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 49

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 10:44:18 PM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Hi.

Plenty of subs think it's the right thing to do if they want to be a real slave who submits completely to their owner. To some it's a pre-requisite to give all of themself, even their possessions, so they can live like a true slave and give all of themself to their owner. And it can be a sign that they're serious about being completely owned. Course they should only do it if they're willing and feel comfortable doing it and trust the person. It's a decision made between the slave and the owner.

Agreed,what kind of relationship do you want,how deep will you go.......most could never understand total/that kind of interaction between two people,they are far to pc and affraid of themselves,and what they might loose,eyes to shut to see what they might learn and gain.

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

Post #: 50

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 11:09:41 PM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

Well...I don't have any money for Master to take...but OMG...I would love for him to take over the handling of my finances because I just don't do a very good job at it and he is successful, retired and seems to manage his money very well. I don't enjoy it but do it because I have have to. Even in my ltr ... vanilla as they were... I did the money...wasn't very good at then and even now...still not one of my strong points.

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 51

RE: oh wow not again - 8/30/2008 11:17:14 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Laws in Australia mean that once you have been together a certain time (a year I think, Master and I are well past the time anyway) you are considered de facto and assets will be split evenly upon break up by law. So you can't really get shafted whether vanilla or bdsm as long as you don't hand it over within that time. I would never have handed over everything straightaway, that would have been silly. In fact, as Master moved to be with hubby and I initially, He used to hand over His money to Me and I had control of the household finances (not that I could manage to curb the ex's spending on his motorbikes!). Once I split from ex and Master and I moved here, which was 3 years into our relationship, I made the decision to hand over My money to Him. Yes I had a few collywobbles at the time, but ultimately I decided if I could trust Him with My life ... why not My money? It made a lot of financial sense to put this house into His name alone, it netted us about $20,000 in a cash grant and savings on stamp duty. So I handed over the proceeds of the sale in Perth and He bought this place. He was a bit reluctant to do it too, might have been different if He had been eager! He suggested we get a contract drawn up to say it was half Mine, but when we checked we found it was by law anyway so we saved our money! Why pay lawyers! Once it was done I've never had another concern about it. Day to day He pays the bills etc, though we both have online and card access to the joint account. I also have a credit card in My name from before which wasn't worth getting rid of, and I have a business account for My home business. Master doesn't have or want access to those. While He has ultimate control ... He discusses purchases with Me, and both of us have a monthly allowance for our own personal hobby spending. Money has been tight and He has done a great job in keeping things in check. I'm proud of Him. That said, if something happened ... we could both take care of ourselves, we know how.

So I guess it depends on knowing your partner, not giving up your finances too soon ... but ultimately it is no more daring than allowing them to suspend you etc etc! Can't spend it if you're dead!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 52

RE: oh wow not again - 8/31/2008 3:13:26 AM

Bstardsbitch

Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline

" I'm not gonna get into some BDSM relationship, give a guy everything and then end up with nothing when it turns sour because in the moment I wanted big ole dominant to have all the power because it got our kinks off and made his ego better"

I think that's rather patronising, I don't blindly assumne Sir is doing right by it, I know.
I aslo don't think it has a lot to do with BDSM fun, this is our life.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 53

RE: oh wow not again - 8/31/2008 3:40:54 AM

SoulPiercer

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

Are there male and female dominants who take advantage of people who are WILLING to give up that much control far too soon? Yes there are. It might come as a surprise to some, but there are male and female submissives who are pretty good at getting their dominants to send insane amounts of money to bank accounts in countries with names I can't even pronounce.

This dynamic works great for Kim and I. In fact .. we found a great way to make it fun.

When I come home, I ask: "Bitch, you got my money?"

She takes the money out of her bra and says: "Yes Daddy, I got all yo money."

I take the money, kiss her cheek, break her off a little bit to buy herself something nice, smack her on the ass, then I leave to go to the bank.

Man, being a consenting adult is awesome.

< Message edited by SoulPiercer -- 8/31/2008 3:44:43 AM >

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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 54

RE: oh wow not again - 8/31/2008 6:02:01 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

Good post.
That to me is one of the differences between a slave and a good slave..the willingness to make moves like that. Does it mean i will take it..No and I've never left a female without those possessions handed back to her. It's her willingness to go that extra mile I look for. There are certain situations where i can definitely understand a females reluctance.
Does she trust me enough to do those things? Is she serious about this lifestyle?

If she tried to give them in the first five minutes I would be worried. My statements are based on the idea that we are entering into a relationship and she's had a chance to see me for what I am.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

Post #: 55

RE: oh wow not again - 8/31/2008 7:54:04 AM

Bstardsbitch

Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
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Thankyou soulpiercer and Icarys.
Exactly what I was trying to say
x

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 56

RE: oh wow not again - 8/31/2008 8:15:20 AM

incantatrice

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

It's very common to give everything away to another ... it's called divorce ... and it's sanctioned by the state.

roflmao ...ahhh that explains why I feel like I have been here before!!!

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Post #: 57

RE: oh wow not again - 8/31/2008 8:40:59 AM

johnsteed2

Posts: 27
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

The fantasy is certainly hot for this male sub. To be so controlled that you sign over everything: the house, the bank accounts, the investments, the car. Your pay is direct-deposited to an account your Mistress controls. And in return, out of her generosity, she gives you an allowance. Of course, out of that allowance, you must per her rent on what was once your house. Sure, she could skip the rent and lower the allowance, but it's all about the mind-f*ck. Plus, she can always raise the rent and watch you squirm as you try to stretch your pennies, even as your nice paychecks from your hard work hit her bank account.

Yes, very hot.

But I could never do it. Hard limit.

As others have mentioned, relationships aren't always forever. Working to save for a house, for other investments takes time, and if you were to break up, you've lost all you worked for (rather than, say, half of only what was acquired during the relationship, as in a normal divorce in my state). If you've never been good at saving, you can easily dismiss this one because it doesn't apply. But you shouldn't.

And the reason you shouldn't, which hasn't been talked about much (though it has been mentioned here) are issues like retirement and health care. If you are someone who has never been good at saving money, this may not seem like a big deal. But it should, and it will start to make sense when you think about retirement and realize how little you are going to get from the government if you live in the US. And yes, this is a slightly different situation for those people living in more socialized countries. The more the government is going to take care of you in retirement if you have no money, the less of a worry this is. But it certainly affects your lifestyle. The government is always, at best, going to provide a fairly low standard of living. If you want to be comfortable when your bones are weary, you really want to provide for yourself.

(in reply to incantatrice)

Post #: 58

RE: oh wow not again - 8/31/2008 8:43:22 AM

Bstardsbitch

Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline

I forgot to add, I am more than capable of managing my own finances. I did it for a long time before Sir came along and as stated before I will do it again if I had to.
I also know all the pin numbers, online passwords and account numbers, so if I needed to I could access the accounts, that includes Sirs.

Funnily enough I too went through a divorce and ended up with nothing, material things aren't really that important in the large scheme of things.

(in reply to incantatrice)

Post #: 59

RE: oh wow not again - 8/31/2008 9:22:45 AM

MzDeadlyRed

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/17/2008
From: Lake St Louis, MO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I think there is a real dark side to this I have known suhs who have lost homes cars collectables TOYS over such things most ds relationships do not last that is reality I think a person can have a relationship with out giving away their life to the extent of losing all to survive

A great deal of vanilla marriages don't last either. Piss poor planning in any relationship leads to its downfall. In my first marriage (yes I planned poorly, I planned to live the rest of my life with a man who lived only in the now. Dreadful for all involved.) he got everything, took everything, and in the end I was left with a child and nothing more. It was stupid to do it then, and it's stupid to think I could do it again. Grey handles the finances, and I contribute to the house, but what I make is mine. It's ours, but still mine. Make sense?

Any girl who comes into our home is required to work part time. A portion of that goes into an account just for her. The rest goes to the household. We would never take anything that belonged to her. Cars, property, toys, etc. We're not greedy and own our own cars, property, toys.

That being said though, while we would never require transfer of property, an offer would never be denied if it were done in the intended spirit. Taking advantage of someone doesn't hold much thrill for me. Doesn't seem very Dominant either. Even as a professional I realize there is a limit to what I can and should demand from those who subject themselves to me.

_____________________________

Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent. ~Dionysus The Elder~

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 60

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