WhiplashSmile2
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Joined: 6/11/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IronBear
I was waiting for someone to mention Gorean Lifestyle, Victorian Lifestyle and 50's Household. Whilst all three are sub-cultures and may even come unter the general "Kink" heading, they are not truely part of the BEDSM Culture even though a great deal of BDSM activities may be found in a number of such homes. The reality is that none of them are either BDSM or sub/slave dependent and can happily thrive without the BDSM practices of a slave being present.
Personally, I find that having a slave of five is highly satisfactory and it is jolly well satisfying to have a slave either kneeling at you feet or on the floor beside you legs with her head resting on your thigh watching TV or listening to music.
IB
(The incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent Bear)
One thing I have noted in regards to people conducting themselves online here, is that the Goreans, Victorian Lifestylers and 50's household people are not trying to impose nor impress everybody with their perspectives. That there way is the one wayesm, nor are they trying to impress everybody and their brother/sister.
Perhaps I am missing something here, but those that have a sub-culture or corner of the BDSM carved and indentified are more well mannered. They are not trying to impress everybody and impose their BDSM views upon the world. Hence, they have adopted to embrace their own slice of the BDSM universe. They are not trying to bend the whole BDSM community to their ways. This is what I'm trying to express here.
I do think that having BDSM as the sole and simple common denominator is enough to define what the larger scale sense of what the "BDSM community" can be. Take any combinations of what BDSM represents, and if you are practicing or have a sincere interest in the minimal of what ONE of the letters represent, you should be welcome to become part of the "BDSM community" at large.
I am advocating that those who wish to follow a more structured, more defined, closer to one wayesm approach for themselves, find appropriate existsing sub-cultures, or groups of people with similar interests.
I have yet to see somebody who openly embraces and informs people that they are Gorean, get into a fight over the Political Correctness of how somebody Does what they Do in a Victorian Lifestyle household. Why? Because both parties are aware of the differences and respect it. It's a result of people embracing their own corner of the world and not trying to piss in other peoples corner of the world.
The BDSM community at large, is full of diversity. This Diversity appears to be growing as more people come into as well. The internet and the information age is making it easier for people to interact, bond together, and find common interests. There are social changes occuring right now within the Scope of BDSM at large.
Some people are screaming out loud about the changes that are taking place. There is a certain amount of what would be described as "retaliation" that is occuring. A resistence to change. This is only natural, in my opinion. However, I am simply amazed that people are embracing Hostility and Retaliation, attempting to fight something that's a loosing and mote batttle. While a much better focus would be for them to say, OK let's continue to embrace our ways by carving out our slice and niche and sub-culture inside of BDSM at large.
I think very highly of how the Goreans have achieved this. I believe, that the Goreans, have established themselves as a via sub-culture, maintain their own corner of the world, and don't mindless going around trying to pick fights with everybody. The Goreans are not threaten by what is going on with the Social Changes, and with how the internet is changing things. In fact, dare I say it. I suspect most Goreans welcome this change, because it mean more people will be prone to Discover the Gorean Sub-Culture. The BDSM Community at large could endure a few hundred changes, but the Foundations of the Gorean Sub-Culture will be less likely to change. There is not need for Gorean to get their Underwear in a twist and get in an uproar over social changes.
What I found interesting was Master Skips Address. Where he speaks to the M/s Community at large. That the M/s Community itself is an Group of Outsides inside of a Group of Outsiders (the BDSM or Kink Community) at large.
Now within the context of BDSM vs KINK. I have radically changed my mind upon this topic. Leadership527's post to a thread made me stop and take careful consideration. I not find it impossible to Relate BDSM on par with KINK. That Kink is just a component of BDSM. It's something that is optional. BDSM can be about KINK and it can be about D&S without the kink. To equate a D/s relationship to being on par with Kink, is simply non-sense. Even more so when D/s relationships in there more extreme form are M/s (Master/slave) relationships. Even a Master/slave relationship is not all about kink. Kink is simply optional.
I refuse to refer to the larger Community as "The Kink Community". Instead I would dare say that "The Kink Community" is a sub-culture under "The BDSM community". I do not oppose the concept of there being a "Kink Community" however I would not use this to descrive the largest Umbrella. "The Kink Community" is a large Umbrella, but not as large as "The BDSM community" in the context of the concept that I'm presenting here on the thread.
Now, I'm no Master Skip, or anybody remotely close to it. I'm just another pervy guy with internet access, that's posting out some thoughts based on Observations. My Name is not Jesus, and I'm nobody's Messiah.
I just know that time and time, certain topics become center stage of crazy debates. Some people have this notion that their way is the right way for everybody who is into BDSM. That there's a lack of respect, lack of protocals and lack of this that and another thing. They complain and bitch about the changes are occuring as more people get involved in the Lifestyle, they want to fight with other people. Other people are more then happy to fight back. At times, it becomes almost comical, yet I'm certain it also is painful for those who experience being told, your ways are not right either.
What other possible and logical recourse is there for people to get along with one another? Perhaps to give thought about carving out their own niches, finding other people with similar views and practices. If none exist to consider expressing the lack in the "BDSM community" at large. I also advocate that people consider the importance of Grass-Roots movements in thier own area. Even if what you are doing can not be connected with an organization at a National or regional level. At least cultivate a Social Circle of people with similar interests. Be these mere friendships, where people can hang out together in the backyard while having a BBQ or whatever.
I'm advocating that people take matters into their own hands on a positive note. I advocate not putting up with mindsets that which to TELL other people that they HAVE No Business being involved in BDSM because there is a difference.
Personally, the likes of Leadership527 should be welcomed into the BDSM community at large. People should be helpful in pointing him to the resources and groups that he needs to connect with. He has a sense of not fitting in here, that he's somewhat Vanilla compared to the rest of us. As a few others have posted on this thread, they too don't agree or feel that they really fit in. I totally understand the reluctance for some people to embrace being part of BDSM, because BDSM on the whole really is not very welcoming of them.
In terms of Munches and Public Events, I can honestly see where some people don't feel they are free to be themselves. Like they have to live up to stereotype images. That well frankly, they might be feeling a little Vanilla compared to other people.
I'm sitting here reflecting upon a couple of message board threads. Regarding Public Play Events, another member of this site, made the statement with regards to Masochistic Doms, that they have never seem this type of action scened out ever. That they have done xxxx (some large number of events). However, I suspect there's a good reason why they have never seen it.
In terms of who I am as a person and individual, I would be bold enough to do the unexpected and fuck with the stereotype image. Even at the social risk of other people, thinking that I was not some self respecting Male Dom. In fact, I would make it a point to Overplay Topping from the Bottom so it was so exaggerated, that I would be UBER TOPPING from the Bottom. I can come up with a Scene to Deliver just such a performance. But enough said in regards to my own twisted nature of things.
The Point is that, I would set aside the stereotypes for a minute, if anything do my best to not conform to the Stereotype, but give people who and what I really am. Even at the risk of Social Gossip and bullshit. How I conduct myself, really has not effect upon backstabbers and Gossipers, It just places me in the spot light for this negative form of attention. People fear being put in the spot light of Backstabbers and those that Gossip. If anything by avoiding it, It's those people that Gossip and backstab that are the ones that hold Social Power. This at least in terms of how I view it. I am not always right in the things I think or in my views. I am human and I'm subject to making misguided assumptions and judgements and assumptions at times.
Again, I'm no Master Skip, I'm just another pervy guy with internet access.
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