RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs?

RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (Full Version)

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candystripper -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/26/2005 8:05:06 AM)
quote: I do acknowledge and honor your preferences, whatever they may be. But please don't use these flawed arguments borne of ignorance (ignorance that you are happy to reverse, you have proven - I'm not criticizing!) to justify them. ImpGrrl i'm the first to admit i am a BDSM dim wit; and i appreciate the kindnesses shown me as people correct false impressions, etc. i have learned a lot from this thread; and you are right; any Man can cheat. May i ask another question? What's up with Doms and Masters who choose "switch women" as one of their desired companions? candystripper

candystripper -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/26/2005 8:47:23 AM)
quote: Which is totally fine to be your preference, but your habit of posting threads complaining about men who don't fit your bill messaging you is tiresome. AbstractSavant i took Your criticism to heart, and reviewed my Op posts. Here's what i found: Morality Protecting First Amendment Rights Disrepecting Older Submissives Male Switches & Subs The Death Penalty in the US Polls: Do You have a Xmas fetish? Chinese Cookie Wisdom Only 2 Op posts reference email i have received; and i wasn't just kvetching; i wanted to ask questions about certain phenom. People were kind enough to answer my questions, and i appreciate it. i think, on balance, i post substantive issues here. candystripper

ginawithaB -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/26/2005 9:10:16 AM)
quote: i'm the first to admit i am a BDSM dim wit; and i appreciate the kindnesses shown me as people correct false impressions, etc. i have learned a lot from this thread; and you are right; any Man can cheat. May I ask another question? What's up with Doms and Masters who choose "switch women" as one of their desired companions? Hey candy, I can see you're really trying to wrap your brain around this whole issue. This sounds very much like the old (not so old) argument that if you're bi (sexual) then you can't be in a monogamous relationship because one partner will not be able to satisfy you...you'll always be seeking someone of the other gender...Well, not so. Some bi's are poly some are not. For that matter, some hets are poly and some are not and same goes for some gays and lesbians. So, some switches are gonna be poly, and some are not. A Dom/Master (assuming you mean a Dom/Master who never subs or who never has subbed) will choose a switch if he desires her and she satisfies or has potential to satisfy His needs and she wants Him as well. That, I think, is the main reason anyone chooses anyone. Or is that over-simplifying? But assuming that every switch is necessarily poly, is an incorrect assumption as incorrect, in fact, as assuming every het Dom is monogamous.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/26/2005 10:57:57 AM)
Candy- you had this same issue when you tried to say that all bisexuals need both male and female partners all the time. I THINK we were able to show you that just because a person is bisexual does NOT mean they can't be happy in a monogamous relationship with a male or a female. Please apply the same logic to this situation. As far as why do masters choose switch females...same reason anyone chooses anyone. Obviously the master feels they own the person as a slave. They are fulfilled in that. The fact that the slave can ALSO dominate doesn't have much to do with the primary relationship as a slave.

candystripper -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/26/2005 12:24:40 PM)
quote: Hey candy, I can see you're really trying to wrap your brain around this whole issue. This sounds very much like the old (not so old) argument that if you're bi (sexual) then you can't be in a monogamous relationship because one partner will not be able to satisfy you...you'll always be seeking someone of the other gender...Well, not so. Some bi's are poly some are not. For that matter, some hets are poly and some are not and same goes for some gays and lesbians. So, some switches are gonna be poly, and some are not. A Dom/Master (assuming you mean a Dom/Master who never subs or who never has subbed) will choose a switch if he desires her and she satisfies or has potential to satisfy His needs and she wants Him as well. That, I think, is the main reason anyone chooses anyone. Or is that over-simplifying? But assuming that every switch is necessarily poly, is an incorrect assumption as incorrect, in fact, as assuming every het Dom is monogamous. ginawithaB Thank You..and yes, i am struggling to understand. i had not even begun to wonder about bisexual Men. i'm beginning to feel like the lonely little petunia in an onion patch, LOL. candystripper

Webmaster60 -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/26/2005 11:43:21 PM)
quote: IMHO, you gave him too much of your precious time and way too much credit. He's not paying you any compliment, he's trying to wear you down to get you to play with him. It's good you blocked him. Agree completely.. well said. No candy, you're quite clear.. Looking at his verbage he's a nut. But no, you're very clear about your wants/needs/wishes.. There is no (for me) understanding the male submissive mentality but hey.. with your looks :::chuckles::: can't blame em for trying :)

Isara -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/27/2005 4:59:32 AM)
I've found that a lot of them are just generated messages, copy-pasted over and over. You know what you need/want/desire. Don't let things that are key elements to your search be compromised. A lot of things can be compromised/ignored. Some can't. And you shouldn't settle for less. :) Regards. Isara.

jamesthehumanrug -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/27/2005 9:16:38 AM)
dear candy stripper greetings i assume i know what you mean the email seems quite dominant but you don't want a bottom ,or switchee doing you any favors or being a top for you ,for that time ,and, being able ,to switch.it's image,for sure. i get that ALLL the time; unfortunately. i tell the woman :your other half ,or your capability, to be bottom sickens me ,and, i cannot tolerate it while you pretend ,to top me ,for what ever reason ,insult my intelligence ,then you run to a top to be dominated , altho i know, that being a switch is certainly healthy ;i cant ruin my image ,or see ,beyond it,with someone everyone knows is a sub ,or a bottom,too. partime lover isnt, for me(ya i did, that song ,too -PART-TIME LOVER- sold off to, bulger; stolen off me, in my deepest suffering ,with a gorgeous-bottom" switch",or there would be no such song!) i'm ,not ,into PARTIMERS ,and,i'm a ridgid 24/7 slave period. however:these "switches" are healthy ,and ,won't ,understand ,so ,just say thankyou ;respect them ,at an arms length, without, insulting them ,as you feel, insulted...,so.... is this assumption correct? ,cause,this "switch" sure sounds like a top, to me, esp.,in ,that example, of a letter, say ,if you're desperate, for a top someday you'll certainly consider the, offer. you know you really can't burn all your bridges; you never know who a person really is , or who they may know ; they might even have a top relative ,that's a no switcher; perfect,for you,that will inevitably get wind ,of their notes ,on you !

B1gbear -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/27/2005 8:50:10 PM)
As a Dom I can say that those speaking to someone they are negociating or considering is one of two things: P-R-E-D-I-T-O-R ...or He's weeding through those with brains trying to find a doormat. Let him go and call it done much sooner next time. I often wonder why I put so much work and effort into messages I send to subs/slaves only to see they never get opened. It's guys like him burning through your emotional energy to meet Doms online or otherwise I think. I hear of that stuff all the time. Ponders if there is a vast majority out there pumping out messages like they are trying to win a prize from the radio station contest. Hang in there, there are real and worth while people out there that are not acting like idiots.

candystripper -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/28/2005 5:47:59 AM)
Naw..i am not so conceited as to think all the Men whov'e shown an interest in me wish to pursue the possibility of a relationship. i know many are good men and good Doms and Masters, but drop off my radar for a variety of reasons. candystripper

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/28/2005 6:36:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: B1gbear P-R-E-D-I-T-O-R Actually is "predator"

Wolfspet -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/28/2005 9:47:33 AM)
Honestly I only skimmed all but the OP. Why is it that so many have difficulty wrapping their heads around a concept that people can be multi-dimensional? I am a masochist who is owned. I am Wolfs slave/pet/whore, etc. I am not a submissive, if I was to fall into ANY catagory, it would be Dominant, yet I ceede my will and control to someone who can dominate me. What if he is a Dominant who is a masochist? Dominance does not preclude masochism.

KatyLied -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/28/2005 10:08:49 AM)
quote: I am ordering you to call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx for instructions on what to do next. It is time you listen!!! It is time you become happy !!! I did not read the entire thread. But I had to laugh at this part. I've been given phone numbers and "ordered" to call them. "do it now" "you know you want to" "speak to a real dominant" After a few pm's. Pahlease.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/28/2005 2:40:29 PM)
I have had "submissive" males send me their phone numbers, with requests to call, also! Giggle/DELETE. I must say, since I have changed my picture, my wankermail has slowed down considerably. :) F

fldrkhorse -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/29/2005 4:34:34 PM)
This my first day in the message boards and I have read several of your posts. You are nothing close to vague.

Termyn8or -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/30/2005 1:19:18 AM)
"i want a very strong Dom, and i find that i am uneasy about a switch's ability to provide that degree of strength" I think switch means strength almost by definition. Not getting into this chicken/egg what happened first crap, let me put it this way. Switches are already into the head of a submissive. Hands down. You will click that last lock, one of my precious padlocks which will make you helpless and exposed to me when I get there. I will design this bondage for you, you may thank me later. As you lock the last lock you will know that you are not in control anymore. I will be within ten feet of you but I'll not let you know. Even if you scream I will not come. You will suffer possibly a bit of fear, and no matter how many times you may have been spanked or whatever in your life, you will be truly relieved to see me. You will be restrained so that no part of your body can touch another at all. While you might get your hair over to your arm (if it's long) try to get off on that. If you can I really wanna meetya ! Time I get there you might be asking me to scratch an itch on your inner thigh, dream on. I would rather bring you to the precipice of a petite mal about four times. High and dry four times. In my book the end of a session is pleasure, so look out for that fifth step. For me, to be restrained means nothing if you don't strain against it. I want you cumming so hard you don't even know your name on that end run, I'll rub your sore muscles and comfort you afterward. All the time I know what it's like for you down there. I don't think there ever was a more ironic statement, but I could better serve you as a Dom. Let's face it, you're not there because these people loaned you money and you're working it off. You want to be there just as much as they do. At least that's how I see it. and there's always the safeword. Let's say on some odd chance we hooked up, maybe last Man and Woman on Earth ok ?? Payback ? listen, I don't think it's gonna hurt you that much. You lock a lock at a certain time and don't unlock it until a certain time unless the safeword is used. I use bondage to strengthen myself. I want to struggle hard against the restraints. I have broken quite a few. Maybe you will still be walking funny from the night B4. maybe I will. You never know. Now THAT's a switch. T

frillsnfings -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/30/2005 5:06:25 PM)
How extremely rude of him! Personnally, i think that shows enough to have nothing to do with him. Might be an idea to show his character and hold a chat with you. Perhaps over time you might have decided you would like to investigate wether he was compatible to dominate you. But to 'order' you to ring him etc. Exactly....where... does he get that 'right' from? Why would you want to? He is suppose to be a grown man and should be treating you better then that. There is nothing wrong with having a bit of class. i think there is truth in the fact that everything that goes in vanilla goes double (or more) in a D/s r/ship, this is referring to honesty, communication etc....and also manners. We start at a knowledge of knowing each other's interest in BDSM by meeting or contacting here, that does not mean we get to 'skip' all the rungs on the ladder and get to behave like greedy juveniles rather then adults. i still like to be wooed and courted..as old fashioned as that may be, or as 'daggy' as it may sound with the added enigma of having the D/s dynamics happening. i got an email almost identical. Regardless of him being 'capable' of dominating you, which he may or may not be... many can talk the talk, doesn't mean they can walk the walk. This 'man' hasn't even got manners. You deserve better. :-)

theRose4U -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/30/2005 6:06:04 PM)
quote: That does make male switches a bit more appealing, but with monogamy such a high value for me -- not to mention the desire to see my One as happy as possible -- the spectre of the 3rd party lingers. i'm just afraid to take the risk. Candy love ya honey but you missed the boat again. firefey said it just like I would quote: i'm wondering where it's written that switch=poly? that seems to be the assumption candy, and many opperate under. to be truthful, i know many switches who are not poly, don't want to be poly, and never will want to be poly. they want their ONE, same as many on this site. the only difference is, they are willing to let their ONE take the form of either a dominant or a submissive, whichever that ONE inspires them to be. on the other hand, their are plenty here who are only dom/me or only sub, and are poly. they will never switch, they don't want to switch, and they will never look to fullfill a side of them they don't have. it comes down to two different issues. monogomy vs poly, and your comfort with switches. you are monogomous, and it's good that you know that's what you want. and that's what you should be looking for. i just think you might be cutting yourself off from some amazing doms by cutting out monogomous switches who are comfortable expressing only one side of the coin. I'm firmly monogomous whether my switch is in the up or down position. I have a hard time sharing anything let alone a bed partner.

theRose4U -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/30/2005 6:10:08 PM)
quote: it was about not reading/respecting my profile and the goofy way the author spoke to me. Face it candy you're a lightning rod for boneheads. Question is how you learn to deal with it because on the net it's not likely to go away whether you find the collar you seek or not.

theRose4U -> RE: What is it with Male Switches and Subs? (11/30/2005 6:17:50 PM)
quote: May i ask another question? What's up with Doms and Masters who choose "switch women" as one of their desired companions? This is best explained by something my Sir once said to me...why would I want a kitten obediently waiting my lap to suit my whims when I can have a tiger at my feet that doesn't kill me out of respect. [:D] A Dom/me or Switch that leans Dom/me is not an easy creature to control in any situation (this also would apply to a lot of solid Dom/mes in nilla life too). I think that the explaination I was given was very fitting for the arrangement of the time. I was in a power position in my job and willingly at his feet by choice without giving up the spirit that made me who I am. Imagine a tiger on a leash and you have the fine line that I believe a Dom and Domme relationship would encounter.

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