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RE: Being Bratty - 9/1/2008 9:53:04 AM

lizcgirl

Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
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My Master calls me a brat all the time, but in a loving way. I'm a smartass and I like to play, but never when it's inappropriate or when it would get me into trouble. I don't act like a brat to get punished or to be corrected, I just simply like to play with Him. I'm His slave, I do as I'm told, and I don't go against Him when I know He's serious. If I went out of my way to act like a total brat simply to get attention or to get punished, to me that would be an insult to Him because I'm defying Him on purpose to get a desired response from Him in a negative way. I don't want His attention that way, I rather please Him and have Him be proud of me than to get tired of me playing games to manipulate Him. Not to mention He would see it and either ignore me completely or punish me more serverly. No thank you. But I will be a brat when I joke with Him because He knows me, He knows I'm kidding, and He finds it amusing.

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RE: Being Bratty - 9/1/2008 11:05:52 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleWench
We are simply seeing the act of commitment happening at different stages along the relationship path and/or perhaps having a different definition of commitment. For you it occurs after you have gotten to know someone, for me the commitment is right at the outset, its the investment of time, energy and feelings into someone - that is a commitment for me... before I make that commitment there are some things I want to know up front.

So you do want to know stuff about the person BEFORE you make a commitment to them?

And how is that different than what I said?

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RE: Being Bratty - 9/1/2008 11:08:20 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
A submissve that is a challenge is a submissive many men will refuse to take on, showing they simply want something more easily obtained, but then that is their choice, and mine is to have one who knows owning me is a while a great task, an even greater reward....

That's a nice way for you to put it so that you feel special and different and better- but trust me, that's not necessarily the reason why.

I refuse to do it because I find it a waste of time. I want someone who is in step with me, who works WITH me all the time and will be there together to face the REAL challenges that life will throw our way.

I do not think brats are not capable of having secure relationships, simply that their style is not compatible with mine. So I won't say you suck and you won't tell me that I'm just not capable.

Choosing NOT to get into something is hardly the same as not being capable of handling it.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Being Bratty - 9/1/2008 11:18:34 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
A submissve that is a challenge is a submissive many men will refuse to take on, showing they simply want something more easily obtained, but then that is their choice, and mine is to have one who knows owning me is a while a great task, an even greater reward....

That's a nice way for you to put it so that you feel special and different and better- but trust me, that's not necessarily the reason why.

I refuse to do it because I find it a waste of time. I want someone who is in step with me, who works WITH me all the time and will be there together to face the REAL challenges that life will throw our way.

I do not think brats are not capable of having secure relationships, simply that their style is not compatible with mine. So I won't say you suck and you won't tell me that I'm just not capable.

Choosing NOT to get into something is hardly the same as not being capable of handling it.

Now isnt that why a complete profile is warranted here? i spell out completely who I am when seeking a Dominant. i express what I am looking for and who I am. So if one doesn't like my type,one doesn't have to contact me. Although, I find many men come off so desperate that they act like camelions or they are under some impression that they can "force" me to change.

ps. You caustic?pshaww.. Well, we at CM like ya this way, you hot Librarian!

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RE: Being Bratty - 9/1/2008 1:38:57 PM

LittleWench

Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

In one post you say you do this for attention, then you deny that by saying "it's my personality", now you suggest you do it to test your partner.

No in the original post I said I did it to have the D/s structure reinforced, because it is a new dynamic to our relationship (which btw was a year long relationship before switching to D/s)... also said that I was looking for other ways to achieve this sensation, to which only ONE poster has given any suggestions. When told that "being bratty" was my kink, I clarified that being challenging is in my nature not just a sexual kink I turn on.

The last point you make was a complete sidetrack to the original post and doesn't relate to an existing relationship dynamic rather the "getting to know you process", all this I mentioned previously. I will test potential partners very early on because in my experience nobody is who they say they are. I had a long term relationship with someone when I was exploring the very beginning of submission, and at the outset I asked if they would be able to spank me if I was "naughty". No problem they said, that would be hot. Turns out they don't have what it takes to strike a woman. Damn straight I am going to want to know right at the outset (not months into it) that a guy can do what he claims he will. And again, this has nothing to do with my original starter post... and being "bratty" or testing the dominant to make sure the he is capable of dominance is a one off thing, not a continuing behavioral pattern... two distinct lines of thought have occurred in this thread, don't try and merge them because its obviously causing confusion... although it is rather amusing to read :)

< Message edited by LittleWench -- 9/1/2008 2:01:17 PM >

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RE: Being Bratty - 9/1/2008 2:05:20 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I refuse to do it because I find it a waste of time. I want someone who is in step with me, who works WITH me all the time and will be there together to face the REAL challenges that life will throw our way.

Which is your opinion, of course... my experience is the opposite, though. It tends to create stronger bonds, especially of possessiveness between the submissive and dominant (where they view each other as their own) which, again, is a different dynamic than traditional BDSM relationships. Even just in this thread you can see it... they use 'my Daddy' instead of just referring to him as 'Daddy' and then the dominant has a tendency to be more possessive as well... that said, I don't think a 'bratty' submissive would ever work in a poly household, though... there would be too much resentment.

quote:

I do not think brats are not capable of having secure relationships, simply that their style is not compatible with mine. So I won't say you suck and you won't tell me that I'm just not capable.

Choosing NOT to get into something is hardly the same as not being capable of handling it.

True enough, though my experience since I first started exploring the lifestyle (about 2.5 or 3 years ago) is that there's more of the latter. Some dominants are so spoiled that they've never had a sub who wasn't completely focused on their needs 24/7 and they don't know how to handle it when they need to *take* the control, instead of just having it :)

Collarme has shown me that not all dominants are this way, though :D so I'm happy enough to agree with you.

EDIT: I should really read these through before posting them with so many errors that I look childish *sigh*

< Message edited by aravain -- 9/1/2008 2:07:50 PM >

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RE: Being Bratty - 9/2/2008 12:08:44 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleWench

There's an interesting dynamic I see occurring here!

How do you know if a Dom/me is actually capable of being dominant without having that reinforced? Sure you meet, you are compatible, he tells you to do something, you do it. That's compatability, not dominance and submission. You're told to do something, and you do it, because you want to, because it's mutually beneficial to do so. There is a difference between someone who can tell you what to do, and someone who can enforce that directive should you reject it. I can't respect a man who lets me walk all over them, or lets me push them around, but just because he can tell me to fetch him coffee doesn't make him capable of being dominant.

So unless you have broken a rule, disobeyed or otherwise incurred the displeasure of your Dominant, how do you know they can be dominant? ;)

Because dominance isn't about power or control. It is about who has authority.

the.dark.

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RE: Being Bratty - 9/7/2008 11:01:58 PM

djaleksandr

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/10/2008
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I, personally, like a bit of struggle, whether I'm topping or bottoming. A bit of playful defiance is ofen my cup of tea. Sometimes, I find it fabulous to dole out a command and hear, "make me" with a bit of a giggle and a wink. To which, I will most certainly "make" them.

. And sometimes, I like mouthing off a bit.

It all depends on the session, my mood, and my partner's mood. Some people like it, some don't. I think the key is to be open about it from the get-go. If someone tells me they're not into a bit of playful power struggling and want more subservience from me, or want to serve more completely, that is perfectly a-okay with me. It's just good to know from the start! Everyone's different.

Though a stern "I'll bend you over my knee right now if you don't watch out" is always fun, ESPECIALLY when out in public, wondering what's going to happen when you get home.

_____________________________

'is simplicity best, or simply the easiest?
the narrowest path is always the holiest.
so walk on barefoot for me,
suffer some misery,
if you want my love.'
[ depechemode judas ]

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RE: Being Bratty - 9/9/2008 9:27:41 AM

AnneRaven

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Joined: 12/14/2006
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I'v been told I'm a brat, but never once as an insult. Im playful, and 'feisty'. The longer iv been with a dom the less likely it is to come out as often, but it will always be there. I need a dom who enjoys the challenge and the chase as much as i do. I dont constantly act out of scene to be annoying, just a little here and a little there to add a little spice, and humor. I'm a very impish creature and this will always be part of me. Granted I know how to behave and when to behave, I enjoy the teasing reminders of a sharp word or whip to remind me who i belong to.

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