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RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:12:59 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		24/7 is a stated time period. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

I use 24/7 as a time period. I "do this lifetsyle" 24/7. Its not something that only happens in a dungeon on a saturday, or when I am physically with a partner, I am not a weekender, or a part timer. Nothing wrong with anyone who does, I am lucky enough to be able to make this work full time. By full time I mean I don't need "time out" or "me time" .. I make my life and my slavery work in harmony with eachother, not at odds with eachother.

I just got out of a 3 year LDR ... Of that I only spent one week in his company. I would defy anyone to argue that my submission and obedience was not tested and expected 24/7 by our relationship. People that know me well in real time will attest that His expectations of me were upheld quite literally 24/7 ... and those expectations were many. Obviously those expectations were easier to handle and adhere to that when we were together in person, but they were certainly not easy.

PEople get unstuck when talking about 24/7 because they are not clear about what exactly is going on in those 24 hours seven days a week. Personally if you think that being a submissive or a slave, or an Owner or a Dom only involves the physical things you can do to each other when in close proximity ... then you are only doing "IT" when you are physically together .. and I dont know anyone who is physcially present with their partner 24/7 ... as soon as you allow BDSM to occur when the two of you are not physically present with eachother .. then you allow that 24/7 relationships do not need to be live in or service relationships.

Having been in 24/7 relationships over a long distance, having been in service based real time relationships, having been a play partner, and a hourly rented slut ... I can tell you this ... when I am in a relationship, the relationship governs me every minute of every day until I am released from it. The relationship dynamic (whther it be TPE, D/s whatever) is present 24/7, and so it is a 24/7 relationship, it doesn't matter what the particular dynamic is that matters. What matters is the degree to which it is present. This is because for me BDSM is as much about the emotional, intellectual and psychological as it is the physical, the domestic and the demonstrative.
YMMV

< Message edited by softness -- 9/1/2008 12:14:24 PM >

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:14:50 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		beautiful post softness, well said.

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(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:15:16 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

.... and I don't believe you could be disparaging if you tried Treasure!


lol... You are sweet!

Honestly, I agree with you that it is understandable considering the sheer number of types of people.  So, some people use 24/7 as an adjective (modifying a noun) and some use it as an adverb (modifying a verb).  Nothing too hard about that.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:16:42 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

.... and I don't believe you could be disparaging if you tried Treasure!


lol... You are sweet!

Honestly, I agree with you that it is understandable considering the sheer number of types of people.  So, some people use 24/7 as an adjective (modifying a noun) and some use it as an adverb (modifying a verb).  Nothing too hard about that.



wow ... wanna come teach my 4th year language class tomorrow?

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:20:03 PM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

... when I am in a relationship, the relationship governs me every minute of every day until I am released from it. The relationship dynamic (whther it be TPE, D/s whatever) is present 24/7, and so it is a 24/7 relationship, it doesn't matter what the particular dynamic is. What matters is the degree to which it is present. This is because for me BDSM is as much about the emotional, intellectual and psychological as it is the physical, the domestic and the demonstrative.
YMMV


I agree with you 150%.  Very well put.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:20:06 PM   
littlekitten1


Posts: 160
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

24/7 is a stated time period. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

I use 24/7 as a time period. I "do this lifetsyle" 24/7. Its not something that only happens in a dungeon on a saturday, or when I am physically with a partner, I am not a weekender, or a part timer. Nothing wrong with anyone who does, I am lucky enough to be able to make this work full time. By full time I mean I don't need "time out" or "me time" .. I make my life and my slavery work in harmony with eachother, not at odds with eachother.

I just got out of a 3 year LDR ... Of that I only spent one week in his company. I would defy anyone to argue that my submission and obedience was not tested and expected 24/7 by our relationship. People that know me well in real time will attest that His expectations of me were upheld quite literally 24/7 ... and those expectations were many. Obviously those expectations were easier to handle and adhere to that when we were together in person, but they were certainly not easy.

PEople get unstuck when talking about 24/7 because they are not clear about what exactly is going on in those 24 hours seven days a week. Personally if you think that being a submissive or a slave, or an Owner or a Dom only involves the physical things you can do to each other when in close proximity ... then you are only doing "IT" when you are physically together .. and I dont know anyone who is physcially present with their partner 24/7 ... as soon as you allow BDSM to occur when the two of you are not physically present with eachother .. then you allow that 24/7 relationships do not need to be live in or service relationships.

Having been in 24/7 relationships over a long distance, having been in service based real time relationships, having been a play partner, and a hourly rented slut ... I can tell you this ... when I am in a relationship, the relationship governs me every minute of every day until I am released from it. The relationship dynamic (whther it be TPE, D/s whatever) is present 24/7, and so it is a 24/7 relationship, it doesn't matter what the particular dynamic is that matters. What matters is the degree to which it is present. This is because for me BDSM is as much about the emotional, intellectual and psychological as it is the physical, the domestic and the demonstrative.
YMMV


I must say this is a very great and well-explained post :)
I agree fully.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:20:38 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

wow ... wanna come teach my 4th year language class tomorrow?


Sure... as long as I don't have to get into gerunds or dangling participles. 

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:23:39 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

wow ... wanna come teach my 4th year language class tomorrow?


Sure... as long as I don't have to get into gerunds or dangling participles. 



laughs .. ok .. so my 4th year class ... are 15 years old ... and we are still working on them having capital letters and full stops all the way through their writing .. and not just the bits when I am there to help them

can anyone spell ..... R.E.M.E.D.I.A.L ..... E.N.G.L.I.S.H

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:26:26 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		Yes well said but it's about all of those things and if one is lacking it isn't full 24/7..By as close to the real definition you can get anyway. Yes i live this lifestyle 24/7 but i don't get to practice it quite as often. I've had a female LDR before ( we were working towards 24/7 but didn't make it)so i know what your talking about but it still doesn't change the definition one bit and it still doesn't fit into it.

I've enjoyed most of the comments but I'm off for now. Well wishes.


_____________________________

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(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:28:01 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		Softness...what a wonderful response for this post. Thank you for sharing.
 
"This is because for me BDSM is as much about the emotional, intellectual and psychological as it is the physical, the domestic and the demonstrative."

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:29:07 PM   
backseatbebe


Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		do you call yourself her 24/7 daughter?!!?!
now if you saw her every day youd call yourself a momma's girl, see how the comparision differs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

So when you do not see your(generic) mother for more than a week, you aren't her daughter.  Got it.
 
the.dark.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:32:31 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

laughs .. ok .. so my 4th year class ... are 15 years old ... and we are still working on them having capital letters and full stops all the way through their writing .. and not just the bits when I am there to help them

can anyone spell ..... R.E.M.E.D.I.A.L ..... E.N.G.L.I.S.H


Well, let's see... as they are only 15, they might be more inclined to using full stops if you told them they were using "periods".  Let them have a giggle and take the mickey out on us silly Americans. 

Regarding capital letters, you might suggest to them that using all lower case indicates that they are being submissive. 

< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 9/1/2008 12:34:55 PM >

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:46:26 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		Does the random dismissive statement thing work well for you normally?

Not going to buy you many cookies around my way am afraid. Having managed to wade through your fairly cumbersome arguements only once I could have missed something ... but largely you are saying is

All aspects of BDSM must be present for it to be 24/7 (emotional, intellectual and psychological, physical, domestic and demonstrative).

So if you have a cleaner come in, rather than have the "slave" do the housework... its not 24/7?
So if you go away on a business trip ... its not 24/7 until you get back?
So if you feel under the weather for a few days .. and dont have sex .. its not 24/7?
So relationships where there is no sex ... are not 24/7?
So relationships where one partner works away during the week ... are not 24/7?
So relationships where there is not S&M play ... are not 24/7?

I think your basic problem occurs in "practicing" as you put it.
I think you perhaps need to look again at what "practicing" looks like for you .. and then do a quick look around at what "practicing" means for other people. I think what you would find after actually doing that .. rather than blustering about it .. was that other people are dramatically less limited about what "practicing" is in their world.

This weekend I was "practicing BDSM" as I walked around tesco with a Domme friend, as I ate lunch with Missturbation and her Sir .... in fact I "practised" BDSM all damn weekend ... and didn't have any kind of physical contact ... nor perform any kind of physical service as it seems you would recognise it.

I doubt very much you will actually undergo any of the self examination I suggested, I guess you will set up another straw man arguement to knock down, or maybe start up some ad hominum attacks (if you cant think of anything more interesting/orginal to do) ... but thats all cool and groovy ... your "definition" is working for you, after a fashion ... and ours are working for us just great as evidenced by the great number of people here who have posted about their non-24/7-contact 24/7 relationships.

edited because I caught bad spelling of the thugs today ... bleugh

< Message edited by softness -- 9/1/2008 12:49:21 PM >

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:48:42 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I can understand how you might be offended..you live exactly the way i'm saying is bullshit. You have a relationship with a female long distance or have had and want to call it 24/7 but it just isn't bud.


actually ... you understand very little.. and the more you speak.. the more it is reveal on how little you actual do understand.

I have been doing this for abit.. not as long as some.. but alot longer than the majority that walk these paths.  In fact.. in my community there is only two ongoing relationships that have been together longer than Alandra and I.  You speak of being a traditionist.. this alone alone makes me laugh.  I am constantly amazed on how there are so many fools that want to project that there is and was some traditions in this lifestyle in the years gone by and it is somehow going to pot now.  It's very much like the Older person saying the that young are running amuck and lack respect for tradition.  Fact is.. there is and has been NO traditions or great OLD Guard teaching from wise ones.  There people that had perferences... and some individual communities developed some norms, habits and behaviors... some of these ideas developed in other communities and some did not.

Truth it...  Some people are traditionlist... but there is two basic types... there are those that have traditions and wnat to project those ideas into everyone else.. which is you.  and then there are those that have their traditions but find no need to project those traditions on to others.

You seem to have an interest in judging what is 24/7 for others well beyond your own world.. I find this amusing and sad.. reflects alot of confidence issues in your own world.  Some can feel great without the need to project others in a negative light... others have no other way..   You have been useful.. to demonstrate the closemindedness of your viewpoint... I am not interested in attempting to change your mind ... I am more interested in those that read these threads... and fall for the crap of people like you.  There is none that is more damaging to the community and this lifestyle than one-true wayers than yourself.   I appreciate people like Treasure... who happens to share a similiar viewpoint as you... however.. she doesn't have to do it as the expense of others to make herself feel better good or like what she is doing.  She knows what is right for her.. and can appreicate others have a different world.  her Dominant is no different.  Individuals like yourself only damage a valid way of living because they seek to uplift it and increased is valuation at the expense of others.

yes.. I "had" a LD relationship.. I happen to know alot about it... I also happen to know alot about living together  with one's slave as well.. hell.. I even know what it to have multiple slaves sleeping in the same bed.  I know what it is like to do all sorts of BDSM stuff.. I know what it is like to play with females and males.  I know what it is like to have a male submissive in the family.. and a switch that both tops and bottoms as well as is submittiing and dominating...   My little world is... equately that... little compared to the vast array of living in this lifestyle... But.. I don't need to make my little world feel better by the choices others make.  I don't attack your choice... it's valid... It's your character of person that I have nothing but contempt for.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 12:59:14 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

do you call yourself her 24/7 daughter?!!?!
now if you saw her every day youd call yourself a momma's girl, see how the comparision differs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

So when you do not see your(generic) mother for more than a week, you aren't her daughter.  Got it.
 
the.dark.



you didn't make any sense to me sweetheart ...

Of course people do not refer to their parents as 24/7 parents ... but people might qualify their relationship in someway if the relationship needs more explanation at a later point.

Most people do not go .. "This is my Dad, Peter, well he isn't my Dad actually , he is my Mum's husband, but they got married when I was a baby and I have just always thought of him as a Dad, so I call him Dad". They usually just go .. "this is my Dad, Peter" nd maybe explain the details a little later on.

In the same way .. I do not say . "X was my LDR OWner, we are 24/7 and pretty much TPE (according to our definition) but we only met once, but that was enough for us)" I say... "X was my Owner" and then filled in the rest as and when/if that information was required.

People use 24/7 as a qualifying statement to further define their relationship.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to backseatbebe)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 1:00:10 PM   
Odinandtawney


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline 		Prior to reading this thread if asked I would have defined 24/7 as living together full time in a D/s relationship that extends beyond the bedroom, (sex).  There have been several good points made that just because a couple isn't living together they can still have an active D/s relationship that is full time. I thank the original poster for posing this question. I have learned something today.

tawney
property of Odin

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 1:04:23 PM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Odinandtawney

Prior to reading this thread if asked I would have defined 24/7 as living together full time in a D/s relationship that extends beyond the bedroom, (sex).  There have been several good points made that just because a couple isn't living together they can still have an active D/s relationship that is full time. I thank the original poster for posing this question. I have learned something today.

tawney
property of Odin


You're welcome LMAO.  Little did i know when i posed the question that it would spark this magnitude of debate...interesting. 

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to Odinandtawney)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 1:07:15 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Odinandtawney

Prior to reading this thread if asked I would have defined 24/7 as living together full time in a D/s relationship that extends beyond the bedroom, (sex).  There have been several good points made that just because a couple isn't living together they can still have an active D/s relationship that is full time. I thank the original poster for posing this question. I have learned something today.


Thank you for posting your thougths... I think it is important to appreciate that.. (an assumption on my part) that for you think and feel you have a 24/7 D/s relationship you would need to be living with your Dominant.  However, I very much am impressed that you are not allowing your specific preference to define what is or isn't possible for other dynamics.  This little step you took today reflects an impressive aspect of your character.

thank you again

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Odinandtawney)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 1:19:49 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

so from that simple line you deduced this extravagant definition. yes service is part of it for me.first hand service up close and personal. Does it mean I'm not a Dominant or she isn't a slave because of it..that's just nonsense. Still doesn't mean they are 24/7 . Service is definitely one of the needs for 24/7 doesn't mean it's all of them...


As I have repeatedly said, she is his 24/7 slave.  As far as I can see you are not seperating the orientation(as she origianlly wrote) from the relationship itself.  Relationships cannot be 24/7. - even if you live together. Work gets in the way.  Family, children.  24/7 isn't physical, it couldn't be without placing some sort of mental or physical trauma on a person.  It is a state of mind.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: What does 24/7 mean to you? (and a mini rant i supp... - 9/1/2008 1:22:06 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

do you call yourself her 24/7 daughter?!!?!
now if you saw her every day youd call yourself a momma's girl, see how the comparision differs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

So when you do not see your(generic) mother for more than a week, you aren't her daughter.  Got it.
 
the.dark.



I see no difference.  It's a qualifying statement, not an absolute.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to backseatbebe)
Profile   Post #: 140
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